Wario Wario Wario

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 25, 2021

I had a weird dream where I went to a shopping centre and saw the following:

A shop for Grubhub. Yes, a physical shop for a company that only delivers other companies’ food.

Grubhub had changed their advert in the dream verse, now it was this horrific Ren and Stimpy esque animation of sperm cells with rat heads.

I went to Poundland and saw woollen novelty masks (like those rubber Trump or horse masks you get, but made of wool) of three characters: Cranky Kong, Vivian (from Paper Mario) and Penta Penguin. The Cranky mask was particularly horrifying.

The shopping centre was rethemed to promote Wreck-It Ralph 3, there was a contest to find a secret Pac-Man cameo in the non existent film, I didn’t win the contest because I assumed pretty much any circle or curve with a dent to be Pac-Man.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 25, 2021

I’ve been reading up on this “Vegan Teacher” person and... wow. If PETA was the real life version of a parody from the Simpsons, she’s the real life version of a parody from South Park. Willing to risk human lives for the sake of animals... Don’t even get me started on her poor dog.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 24, 2021

I’m not one for gritty or older-skewering reboots, but a proper Blue’s Clues detective movie would be a ton of fun. It’d still be aimed at kids, albeit slightly older kids. (like the Dora movie beforehand) So many of the staples of Blue’s Clues would adapt well to a silly whodunnit story - Blue’s non-verbal communication, the skidoo, anonymous letters, so on.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 24, 2021

The Virgin RPG silent protagonist vs. the Chad cartoon silent protagonist

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 24, 2021

I have to wonder why when they made Avatar the Last Airbender, they thought of Nickelodeon as a channel to pitch it to, like even in passing. I get this was before Adventure Time and the popularity boom of serialised animation but surely Disney or CN would be a better fit, right?

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 24, 2021

The retributive prison system confuses me. “It was so terrible that he kidnapped and tortured all those people - he should be locked up for 20 years, isolated from his friends and family, and forced to work in the hot sun!”

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 24, 2021

Now I think about it, does Infinity War even qualify as a crossover? They’re all from the same franchise and universe as is.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 24, 2021

People in the 90s could get like 3000 hours out of Diddy Kong Racing and I can barely get 3 hours out of a full £50 AAA release.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 24, 2021

Can’t wait for Growing Around to come out and have the same legacy as CatDog before it: as “that show where they didn’t think about the logistic implications of the premise”

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 23, 2021

Everyone’s favourite Pac-Man side character: RAT

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 23, 2021

Subscription services are OK, VC is better, but ultimately I think the best option for rereleasing classic games is compilations - Mostly because they encourage players to try lesser known games by design.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 23, 2021

The idea of a second Namco arcade rep in Smash is slept on I feel. Pac-Man only really uses elements from his own games; Mappy and Galaga, there’s plenty of other games in the Namco Museum that could be taken from, be it for a non-clone Ms. Pac-Man/Ghost Gang or a specific rep like Taizo, Valkyrie or Mappy.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 23, 2021

If Shadow Mario was a Mario echo his alts should have the colours of the Koopalings

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 23, 2021

I’m gonna try and sell you on the idea of Sora coming with Disney-related content:

A Ratatouille Mii hat that has Remy pull on your hair

NOW do you still believe Sora shouldn’t have Disney content?

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 23, 2021

Even as a kid I could tell the character designs in the Save Ums were ugly.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 23, 2021

I remember reading this article, think it was by Cracked, called something like “10 times one person ruined something for everyone else” and one of the listed occurrences was something among the lines of an elderly woman who couldn’t sleep because of a loud clock tower and requested it be demolished or made quieter.

How the hell was she in the wrong?

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 23, 2021

That one anime character with the thing in her mouth creeps me out. Is it her lack of expression? The shining pink eyes? I don’t know, either way she gives me the heebee jeebees.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 22, 2021

We talk a lot about how to avoid certain types of people but nowhere near enough about how to avoid becoming said types of people.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 22, 2021

Just found out Byleth’s last name is Eisner. Surprised his school isn’t inside a giant statue of Mickey Mouse.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 22, 2021

This is a controversial opinion but honestly I like the sad Bart edits. They’re really well made and have probably helped some people through rough times. They’re a little silly when simplified down to just “Sad music with VHS filtered Simpsons clips” but all things considered are their own beautiful transformative work.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 22, 2021

Imagine growing up in the early 80s, becoming a young adult, then seeing your hip little nephew put in DKC on the SNES and getting greeted with the sight of an old man monkey cranking a gramophone in the original arcade game.

Ouch.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 22, 2021

One thing a lot of people under the belief that Microsoft “killed” Rare don’t understand is that they’ve made some great games under MS

Not to mention, I cannot imagine something like Rare Replay would happen under stingy old Nintendo.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 22, 2021

Having a high pain threshold is really weird, like you’ll get a minor bruise - for example stubbing your toe against wood and having half of your toenail hanging off - and people will treat you like you’ve lost a limb.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 22, 2021

WHAT IF WE KISSED

AT THE YOU’VE BEEN FRAMED VHS FACTORY

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 22, 2021

EarthBound is in this weird limbo of semi-obscurity where I wouldn’t be surprised if a non-gamer hadn’t heard of it, but equally unsurprised if they had.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 21, 2021

The things each Smash game does best in ways others can’t provide:

64: Aesthetic
Melee: How interesting the dev history is
Brawl: Nothing
3DS: Single player
Wii U: Orbital Gate Assault
Ultimate: Balance

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 21, 2021

He’s got a head of fiery hair and a turbo charged backpack
The SFX teams reuse the whip cracks.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 21, 2021

Happy 21 Day

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 21, 2021

It’s strange to me how Crash, Spyro and Klonoa all had GBA games labelled as the second instalments despite already having second instalments.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 21, 2021

Considering how much channels like the AVGN and JonTron tend to attract younger audiences I wonder why nobody’s tried to cash in on that “retro gamer kid” market yet - closest is probably Peanut Butter Gamer, but even he cracks out some profanities from time to time.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 20, 2021

Why would you use decimals in a 10 star rating system when you can just use a 20 star rating system?

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 20, 2021

This image looks like the wacky TV apocalypse reptile is going to slam his infant offspring into your face.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 20, 2021

Sonic fans going 4 years without a new game:

DK fans going 7 years without a new game:

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 20, 2021

My dad is always talking about his nonsensical idea of science and philosophy - then one time I quoted a really surface level Philosoraptor meme to him and he tried to figure it out for like 7 minutes then gave up.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 20, 2021

Just as Tolkien intended.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 20, 2021

At this point we’re so used to “subversive” shows themed around the protagonists being awful people that it’d be more edgy and contrarian to make a show with a happy, bouncy “ray of sunshine” protagonist in a happy, bouncy world.

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 19, 2021

In regards to Mario Kart’s roster...

Average crossover character fan

Average Mario character enjoyer

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 19, 2021

2010s media trying to be like the 80s:

The actual 80s:

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 19, 2021

“Can it run Doom?”
“Can it run Sonic 1?”
“Can it run Bad Apple?”
“Can it run the Utah Teapot?”
“Can it run Crysis?”
“Could it render Toy Story?”

And now “Can it run Cyberpunk?”

Wario Wario Wario · Jan 19, 2021

I hope New Pokémon Snap has a cryptic logo at the beginning with a vague fairytale reference that only people who know about the game’s development will understand.

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