Wario Wario Wario

I submitted a joke for SSBWiki's April Fools day that wasn't approved because it was "uninspired". Here it is in all it's uninspired glory - for reference it would've gone here.

Cardi B looks how nicotine smells.

CLIPPIT CAN BE IN SMASH.

"But Windows isn't a video game!"
Nor is Wii Fit or Cooking Guide. They're still technology like Windows though

"But Wii Fit and Cooking Guide have minigames!"


"Clippit has no moveset potential!"
Are we talking about the same character? Clippit transforms into a bicycle, tornado, shovel, box - and he could use Windows functions like the arrow and error messages.

"Windows and Clippit are irrelevant to gaming history!"
Windows is a game console in a sense, and a majority of popular games, even console exclusives, were made on a PC. Also, as said earlier, Wii Fit is not a game.

"Clippit has never been on a Nintendo console!"
Yes, but 1. do you seriously still believe that fan rule? and 2. Windows as a whole has been on a Nintendo console


"Microsoft wants to forget Clippit!"
You sure?

"Clippit has no personality!"
Clearly you haven't seen the official Clippit cartoons where he's voiced by Gilbert Gottfried, gets fired for being annoying, tries to trick people into using obsolete technology because he's in it, and gets into an argument with his disfunctional family before getting drunk at a bar and being arrested by an Xbox controller. Now do you think he has no personality?

"Clippit has no viable Spirit or music content!"
Never heard Canyon.mid? OneStop.mid? Title.wma? Spirits are easy too - the other office assistants, mascots from old Microsoft software, the Internet Explorer anime girl, there's plenty to work with.

I'm going to ruin Fountain of Dreams for all of you

It looks like an overflowing toilet

Judging by Soul and Luca being Disney+ exclusive but NOT premiere access, something tells me Pete Docter is tired of Bob Chapek's crap.

You know you want it.

The "Loathsome Characters Wiki" is filled with some nonsense takes. Take for example:
"15 from Numberblocks is a rip off of the 13th Doctor Who!"
"Why would the high 5 emoji in the Emoji Movie have a butt?"
"Madame Gazelle is a cliched generic nursery teacher"
"Perfect Peter is a Gary Stu" one bullet point later "In fact, he isn't even perfect!"
"Salami from Incredible Items' design was made in 3 minutes!" (for reference, Incredible Items is an "object show", quite possibly the most homogenized genre of media ever, to the point where 3 minutes would be an impressively long time to design a character)
"Deuce the Butt from The Day My Butt Went Psycho farts a lot!" (gee, I wonder why...)

Also I should mention the Loathsome Characters Wiki is run by people who actively promote harassment towards "SJWs" and "femenazis" on their rules list so take that as you will.

Nintendo likes to switch between phases of "Let's make Pikmin the next big thing!" and "Pikmin? That's stupid." There is no inbetween.

I simultaniously have the highest and lowest possible standards for comedy. I will roll my eyes at The IT Crowd or Rick and Morty, then start laughing uncontrollably at out-of-context Back at the Barnyard clips and old Ronald McDonald commercials.

oh my god this is such an epic shirt. only Geeks™️ and Gamers®️ will get this.

The Virgin Hatsune Miku:

-Practices violence if this one fanart I saw of her beating up JK Rowling is to be believed
-Tries to sing in English but fails
-Next to no lore
-Anime

The Chad Delay Lama:

-Non-violent, pacifist
-Doesn't need lyrics, just "Eeeeeeeyaaaaaarrr"
-Character design alone tells you all the lore
-Not anime

Even as someone completely happy with Wario's portrayal in Smash (outside of SSE), I never got Wario's height in it. Even in the Ware games Wario was never that short.

Yoshi's Island is the only good
-prequel
-Yoshi platformer
-game made entirely out of spite
-Super FX Chip game (by modern standards)

That's a lot of "only goods".

I don't get how not buying palm oil products will prevent the use of palm oil. It's already been made.

Everything about this image is wrong

-A PS2 game based on a movie released in 2010
-The 12 rating for a Despicable Me game
-The rating having the modern day orange colour instead of the grey that was standard at the PS2's peak
-The shadow of the logo not reflecting correctly off the Minions
-Illumination and Universal's logos are absent
-The fact Gru is either floating or standing on the Minions
-The logo is white instead of the red usually used for Despicable Me merchandise

I had a dream where Nintendo made a mobile version of Kuru Kuru Kururin, but they competely missed the point of Kuru Kuru Kururin and made the Helirin stretchy, therefore making the game impossible to lose at.

I don't know why people assume that working with Disney once will immediately result in being bought by them. Disney XD once aired the Pokemon anime and they still haven't bought Nintendo. Disney dubbed multiple Ghibli movies and even put Totoro in Toy Story 3, still haven't bought Ghibli. In fact, Disney have even worked with their biggest rivals on occasion - multiple Dreamworks live action movies were released under Touchstone; and Right Now Kapow, a Warner Bros. show, aired on Disney XD. Neither got bought.

Should I start a support thread for the Stork?

I don't know why I've been posting so much bird-related content lately.

I had a dream where I went to see Chicken Run 2 - except it wasn't Chicken Run 2. It was a depressing, Shakespearian tragedy that just so happened to star Ginger and Rocky.

ahh yes nothing makes me want fried chicken more than a dating simulator starring a sexualised character bearing the likeness of a decades-deceased businessman

ahh yes nothing makes me want pizza more than a goblin in a skin tight bunny suit who hates pizza

ahh yes nothing makes me want to replace my tires more than a morbidly obese alcoholic white guy

ahh yes nothing makes me want a delicious hamburger more than a clown who is best friends with a convicted felon

ahh yes nothing makes me want to prevent crime more than a shady dog in a trenchcoat who sounds like he chainsmokes

ahh yes nothing makes me want chocolate cereal more than a mentally insane bird

ahh yes nothing makes me want to play exciting video games more than a middle aged plumber who speaks like a baby
ahh yes nothing makes me want to watch some exciting sports more than

"Wait, I don't remember setting my video quality to 60FP-oh, it's just sped up footage."

I love that the entire beef soup takeaway industry of Vietnam collectively bootlegs the Laughing Cow cheese logo.

There's a well known story of Mario 64 being heavily inspired by prototypes of Croc: Legend of the Gobbos. I wouldn't be surprised if the Mario 64 dev team had also seen prototypes of Bubsy 3D, the game has a lot of elements of what we now call collectathons, and the multiplayer mode is virtually identical to Mario Galaxy 2's.

Vampires could really lose their bad rep if they just started picking their noses more. Frequent nose bleeds means frequent blood without the need to brutally assault people.

I saw this really dumb ironic meme that called the AVGN just "the Angry Nerd" and I've been calling him that since.

Link to the video (swearing)

Coco's design in Crash on the Run looks like one of those "what if Disney princesses looked like real people?" fan edits.

I don't get the point of the weird 3D effect on the Duck Hunt stage. I do love the 4:3 design though.

The amount of banned and censored Pingu episodes is staggering. Most cartoons have one or two banned episodes, Pingu has 8.

I don't get why you need a phone number to download iPad apps - are they worried about robots downloading apps?

I had a go at remaking Smash rosters across time. If I made Smash it'd likely be nowhere near as popular as it is today.

Fun quiz time!

1. One half of 90s cartoon duo: ___ and Stimpy
2. 4th letter of the alphabet: A, B, C, _, E
3. Initials of famous superhero: _ron _an
4. Picture you put on a wall: ______
5. 2000s McDonald's toy by Zizzle: __
6. Wikipedia is not a reliable ______

I have a habit of making posts and comments that subtly imply puns, but people just end up thinking I'm either being Random XD or telling a completely different joke.

I wish they had Lemmings on Switch.

It's surreal that teachers wonder why students, especially those with special needs, don't give eye contact when they put signs with full-on poetry and book excerpts on their classroom walls.

I wonder if the recent Evo buyout would make it easier for Nintendo to get a PS rep in Smash... I'd love that, especially if it were PaRappa.

If we get a proper indie rep in Smash, they should be a super obscure character given the whole point of the indie scene is to give attention to the little guys.

Me: Googles "Vocal Lifelight remix without autotune"

I think Ms. Pac-Man would work better as a semi-clone so she could get her unique fruit, but I'd be happy with her as an alt or echo. You could also make a case for Ms. Pac-Man as a fully unique fighter or Luigi/Isabelle type clone.