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Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

The most unnecessary video game in history is probably Twisted Metal: Small Brawl. It's a game with a genius idea on paper, make a kid-friendly version of the T-rated Twisted Metal featuring toy cars - but the thing is: Small Brawl was ALSO rated T, therefore eliminating any need for it to exist in the first place.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

LJN, Blast, Outright Games, the spirit of terrible shovelware never goes - and there's something strangely comforting in that.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

If Angry Birds was made today the enemies would be green crows.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

Just because a game can have a story mode, doesn't mean it should have a story mode. World of Light is the best proof of this you can get.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

When they made Chicken Run, they gave all the chickens neck-wear as to hide the seams in their metal skeletons.

I guess that makes it the first Western hen tie movie.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

Me: "No Straight Roads has the ugliest character designs I've ever seen!"

Also me: Gawks over Motherboard from Cyberchase as "character design goals"

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

The Sonic spirit choices really confuse me. Why don't Classic, Rookie and Zavok have spirits? Why isn't Tails a Legend class? Why doesn't Gamma enhance to a Flicky spirit? If Gamma has a spirit why can't Tikal?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

Imagine people in 10 years trying to understand all the fan art they find on Google Images of Incineroar beating up the Grinch.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

Since Matt Groening draws Itchy and Scratchy in the same style as The Simpsons themselves, does that mean that Itchy and Scratchy is just a series of televised snuff films, not cartoons?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

If Donkey Kong was a donkey, would he be called Gorilla A-actually, I'm not sure if I can say that with SmashBoards' profanity filter.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

Normalise run buttons in 3D platformers.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 26, 2020

What if Crash got in Smash, and got the Ike treatment for his alts?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 26, 2020

It seems the trick to putting a memorable Pokemon newcomer in Smash is to choose one literally nobody cares about. Everyone loves Jigglypuff and Incineroar in Smash, but nobody talks about Greninja and Lucario, who are fan favourites within the Pokemon fandom. You know what Henry Ford didn't say, but his impostor still had a point about "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would've said faster horses." - or in this case they would've said Gardevoir.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 26, 2020

If the Game Boy NSO leak is true, this could be the way Mole Mania becomes recognised as the Nintendo classic it is.

I can dream, can't I?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

Yoshi is Mabowser.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

I'm starting to get a reputation around here as "the Space Invaders guy", which is a title I'll happily accept. Sure, I'd prefer to be "the Muddy Mole guy" or "the Jill Dozer guy", but "the Space Invaders guy" is still a very honourable title.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

Google "Peppa Pig antagonist"

I knew those FE reps were up to something

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

Finale by Madeon, to me, is the 2010s equivalent to Take on Me for the 80s or Can't Touch This for the 90s, it's the one song everyone will think of when they think "2010s".

Either that or I played way too much PlayStation All-Stars growing up.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

I seriously hope there aren't too many Switch Pro exclusive games... I really don't want to be forced to play in... urgh, 4K...

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

if Rayman gets in Smash I really hope they use the Origins/Legends design. I love how expressive it is. That being said, I think we can all agree they shouldn't use the PS1 design.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

Biker Wario being default is actually a genius choice from a game design perspective. Giving him a costume highly differentiated from Mario's as his default plants in a new player's head things like "this guy isn't Mario", "this guy isn't trying to be Mario" and overall "don't play this guy like you would Mario."

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

Mario having no nipples actually makes perfect sense - babies are delivered by stork in the Mario universe, and male nipples only exist in the real world because they're formed before an embryo's sex is decided.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

I'd say Ultimate has the worst new stages. I like Spiral Mountain, KoF, Yggdrasil and Spring Stadium - but Garreg is quite possibly the most boring stage in Smash history, Pleateu just feels wrong to play on, New Donk isn't a bad stage but really generic and over-reliant on its music gimmick, Drac is ruined by walls, and Meme Toes is just plain ugly.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

Wii U had the best new stages IMO - Umbra Clock Tower, Pac-Land, Duck Hunt, Wuhu Island, Skyloft, Kalos, so many great stages!

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

I think Nintendo's glitch policy is born out of some sort of embarrassment, as if they want to appear super professional. If they were more like Sega or Activision with their IPs we would've seen MissingNo merchandise long by now.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 25, 2020

Oh my god, the reboots are getting worse and worse. We do not need edgy adult Powerpuff Girls.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 24, 2020

I've been getting recommended a YouTube channel called "MrMrPizza".

Can you imagine having so few ambitions in life that you choose to rip off MrMrMangoHead?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 24, 2020

80s kids: "Modern kids' shows are nothing but overly political propaganda!"

also 80s kids:

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 24, 2020

Polybius speedrun - Hallucinations% in 1:23:02

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 24, 2020

Even though it's intended entirely sarcastically, "consume product and get excited for next product" is unironically good advice. Don't get worked up about the finer details, just enjoy what you enjoy and don't enjoy what you don't.

Obviously you should speak up if you don't like an element of a game, but you shouldn't let something small impact your enjoyment of a title, and you absolutely shouldn't get mad if a game you don't like sells or reviews well.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 24, 2020

If Sonic is indeed light speed, then Green Hill Zone must be a pretty barren place. Imagine how many miles a normal person would take to get to just the little platform at the beginning with the monitor on it.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 23, 2020

I'd say the strangest omissions stage wise are Bowser's Castle and Gyromite. BC is basically the Waluigi of stages, it's not really needed but the roster just feels incomplete without it, while Gyromite is more the second Sonic rep of stages in that nobody really knows, or at the very least nobody can justify, why it isn't there already.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 23, 2020

I think the name "Duck Hunt" in the NTSC Smash games might be a localisation error - "Duck Hunt", as the Japanese name, lines up with the ICs simply being called "Ice Climber" collectively in Japan. Duck Hunt Duo is a more consistent translation, though I think simply calling them "Duck Hunt" rolls off the tongue better.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 23, 2020

Imagine a Smash game with the same amount of dev time as BoTW. That'd be awesome.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 22, 2020

There's such a strange, hypocritical juxtaposition to someone with "#BLM" in their Twitter name posting an "FBI open up" meme.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COINTELPRO https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FBI–King_suicide_letter

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 22, 2020

The name "Sour Patch Kids" will always be hilarious to me because it's the least clever pun ever.

"So, we got this new sour candy - what do we call it?"
"Um... Cabbage Patch Kids are popular right now... so we could play off that maybe? I mean, they are shaped like kids after all..."
"Hmm... but there's no element of these kids that rhymes with "cabbage" or "patch", how can we make the pun?"
"We either cash in on the trend or we don't make the candy. End of!"
"Well, I can work with that! I can work with that! don't worry boss! how's um... er... well... how's "Sour Patch Kids" sound?"
"You're promoted! we'll begin making the PR materials tomorrow, and go into print in 2 months"

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 22, 2020

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 22, 2020

I think revamps should be first and foremost to help characters' gameplay-wise, sure it'd be fun to see Mario toss Cappy or DK throwing barrels, but it's more important to make Ness or Sonic less toxic for example.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 22, 2020

A battle arena I was in shut down, and I think it may have to do with the stage I chose

"Seems she couldn't handle the Pac-Land style"

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 21, 2020

MAKE HOW TO PLAY 64 AN OFFICIAL STAGE COWARDS

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