KneeOfJustice99

one thing i find quite nice to watch is "man-on-the-street" segments from news broadcasts years ago, because (and i absolutely don't mean this in a mean way) it's genuinely comforting to see that ordinary people have always been a bit stupid and it's not completely just a modern phenomenon as people try and paint it

i might be early for spooky month but if you dress up as a cat for halloween... is it a meowtfit?

Update: I ORDERED THE BLAHAJ, SHORK IS INCOMING :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I was under the impression that I had forever missed the opportunity to acquire blåhaj because it had gone out of circulation and would only be sold by scalpers but according to blahaj.quest they're still being sold.

Do I go to IKEA (or just order online) and finally get one (this decision will affect the trajectory of the rest of my life)

why do they call it a mcrib? like it doesnt actually have ribs in it. its boneless. so its not exactly a "mcrib" because that implies the use of the branding prefix "mc" for mcdonalds and then "rib" as in like, ribs. but its not ribs. its a burger. who thought of this. who approved this

In practice, if you were tasked with eating an infinite number of bananas in a single sitting, you'd die of potassium poisoning long before the radiation from the bananas would kill you. (Approximately 480 bananas contains enough potassium to kill the average human male, given it literally stops your heart from beating.)

Contrary to popular belief, no, it's not only seven bananas that can kill you. Unless you choke on them, I guess.

holy **** the n64dd mario artist ost goes so hard

Genuine question: if you have particular working hours, let's say 9-to-5, and you're an average employee of some kind, would you personally view it more as "arrive at 9, leave at 5, no ifs no buts" or "arrive before 9, leave after 5, no preperation during working hours"?

kinda wild to think that pokemon was the centre of another satanic moral crisis in the late 90s in the us because pastors were convinced that it was engaging in the summoning of demons when smt is literally just that

random take but i'd love for a future smash title to have a "turbo mode" where every character has all endlag and most startlag removed and is never left inactionable in the air that'd be hellish and disgusting but god it'd look so good

I may be late to the whole Toaplan discussion going on in the Official Next Smash Speculation Thread, but one tangentially related anecdote I'd love to share is that in 2003, signs reading "All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time." (in reference to Zero Wing) were posted up around a town in Michigan as an April Fool's Day joke but all seven people involved in it were arrested because the locals, thinking this had something to do with the war in Iraq, reported them as "terrorist threats"

TRIVIA QUESTION:

In Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, what specific thing connects Captain Falcon, Byleth, and technically Dr. Mario?

concept: project x zone 3 but the only nintendo character is dr. mario. not even mario himself or any of the monolith soft picks or fire emblem characters or anyone who would make sense, just dr. mario

WOOOOO IT'S EARTH, WIND AND FIRE DAY

The year is 2084. Speedrunners are attempting to raid the Large Hadron Collider in order to place a by now 99 year old NES console inside, get a random bitflip due to the creation of a new element and subsequent microscopic black hole, and beat Super Mario Bros. in 4:52 technically glitchless due to a "random hardware malfunction".

God himself looks down upon us in fear at the tasks, beyond even His utmost power, that we have wrought unto ourselves.

One random change I'd personally make to a future Smash title's gameplay is that personally, I don't think characters should be left inactionable whilst airborne unless it's a very specific case where it'd make more sense. Sure, I don't think everyone should have infinite jumps or infinite recoveries or something silly like that, but it still feels kind of sucky when you use literally any of Meta Knight's moves in the air and it's like "oh guess i gotta wait to hit the ground again" even if I get that's moreso for balancing. Then again, this probably ties into my belief that balancing should ideally make everyone feel OP as opposed to making everyone feel bland lol

okay honestly after hyperfixating on splatoon (UNPRESCEDENTED NGL) for like 18 hours and still being in the depths of this state i've come to a conclusion - octoling being an echo fighter of inkling, whilst an obvious candidate, would be an outright betrayal of their potential (unless they were given ken-level differences and like, slightly tweaked properties and remodels for almost every attack) given the sheer number of weapons there are you could pull from alone, not to mention other stuff like animations and the like that'd make them hella unique... perhaps more like villager and isabelle?

then again i'd say the same about dark samus, daisy and even dark pit!

also i want dedf1sh music in the next smash make it happen or im going to eat sakurai whole

Underrated video game element - diagetic music. I think this works especially well when you create in-universe artists and methods of playing the music - like how Jet Set Radio's music is intended to be playing through the radio itself. That said, the way the Splatoon series handles diagetic music is really growing on me, and I love it when people create fictional bands for a game's soundtrack (so long as the real-world people who made the music are credited!)

One thing I'd genuinely like to see more of is licensed properties in bizarre and unwitting game genres, but given the respect both to the source material and the concept they deserve. I've mentioned, like, a Muppets RPG before, but a few other concepts that spring to mind:

• A Seinfeld Zelda-like adventure game, in which you play as Jerry and need to find like, sacred jokes on scraps of paper, but the dungeons are just various social situations
• An Alien dating simulator in which you play as the Xenomorph Queen in search of an incubator
• A Contra-like platformer featuring the Looney Tunes, each with their own unique combat and platforming abilities. You'd select a duo going out and can switch between the two for different abilities as needed.
• A minigame collection party game, but it's themed after Final Destination, and if you lose you get gruesomely killed in deliberately farcical and stupid situations
• A MOTHER-like based on Tommy Wiseau's The Room. No, actually. It'd be a great opportunity to delve into the mind of the auteur, and the concept of what "good art" actually is. Also make it like 300 hours long
• Hyper Big Bang Theory Fighter II Turbo. I rest my case

I think something that kind of gets overlooked when discussing Nintendo's questionable preservation practices is that, internally, they (generally) seem to be pretty top-notch nowadays - leaks and official releases alike (like Sakurai's Creating Games channel!) have indicated that a lot of pretty important pieces of development history are still accessible, and I imagine it's unlikely we're ever to likely find Nintendo in a situation similar to their disputed ownership over Joy Mech Fight because of a misplacing of documentation again. (Also, how the hell did Nintendo manage to just lose the rights to a franchise for like, 20 years, by literally just losing a document?? That's hilarious to me, not gonna lie.)

I think the actual problem is more of an availability issue, in that they don't want the unwashed masses to get access to stuff that isn't public-facing. On the one hand, I can sort of understand the thought process, and recognise that there may potentially be issues with what can and can't be shared about development... but at the same time, the game designer in me really would love to see them release entire GDDs or ROMs of their development titles. I don't know about you, but I'd kill to get my hands on accurately translated GDDs for the entire Smash series! (Well, metaphorically... unless?~)

completely random point but i recently learned that if you visit the kirby cafe on your own, they let you dine with a waddle dee, which i just love on so many levels because it's such a fantastic way of encapsulating the themes of friendship present throughout the series but also ITS JUST SO PRECIOUS AAAAAA

In Minecraft, frogs are capable of eating both slimes and magma cubes. Given that both unnamed gelatinous matter and magma are dangerous for frogs to eat in the real world, I believe that Mojang should permenantly remove slimes and magma cubes from the game so as to avoid dangerous misconceptions and the spreading of misinformation.

Furthermore, slime and magma-related blocks and items should also be removed to ensure that false messages cannot be spread about a frog's diet, such as sticky pistons and lava. I'm also expecting a written apology on my desk by Wednesday

So, I actually posted in a comment here earlier about how I'd like to see the alternate costume system revamped in a future Smash title, and I think it'd be fun to actually delve into that a little and how it would work. Firstly, credit to the Super Smash Bros. Historia fan project for the basic inspiration behind this - I've added my own twists, but I think their project is hella fun and you should check it out!

Let's take Mario as our example.


Each character now has two "bars", consisting of Colours and Costumes.

Colours are just that - recolours of costumes that allow for different references to be made without a whole new costume of their own. Check out some of the examples I've added! Each of them should, if possible, be a direct reference to their source material in some way or another - and, in some cases, unique textures might apply (such as a Cosmic Mario colour for his default look.) Each Costume features a minimum of eight Colours, though some may have more than others.

Comparatively, Costumes are model-swaps based on a character's other designs or appearances, though they don't change the moveset or skeleton of the character. However, they can feature different cosmetic features - anything from idle animations, to taunts, to voicelines, the appearances of some attacks, or even announcer lines if we're talking about representing an entirely different character (like Olimar's Alph, or Hero's Erdrick/Solo/Eight!)

With this in mind, I think these elements make for additional single-player content pretty naturally. Let's say, in the base game, each character has four Costumes of which two are unlocked from the beginning and you need to unlock the other two by playing the game - plus, you could add Costume DLC down the line to include more costumes overall and, well, make more money, whilst worrying less about outright development time.

Having costumes handled like this can make your roster feel like it represents more in general without having to have more outright characters. For instance, Mario immediately springs to mind as having a lot of potential for representation - say, if he lost his F.L.U.D.D., he could still have a Sunshine alt of some kind, or Dr. Mario being brought in as an alternate costume instead! On top of this, it could work as a really creative way of showcasing Nintendo's history. One of my personal picks for Samus, for instance, would be a "retro" alt based on her appearance in Nintendo Power #29 and the manual for Metroid!

This might be a questionable take, and I imagine it's going to age terribly over time, but... I actually think it's pretty neat that Nintendo are doing more ground-up remakes of some of their older games! Even if I do think there needs to be a carefully maintained balance between remakes/rereleases and outright new games, it's still neat to see older games given an all-new coat of paint.

That said, I think it'd be nice if additional content were more standardised for them, like how Link's Awakening included the additional content from DX as well as some extra bits and bobs. Just outright porting over older games with a fresh coat of paint is fine, I guess, but it'd be cool to see new (and even unusual!) additions that feel kind of fitting in games like those. (For instance, something like Super Mario RPG Remake getting a secret playable character like Toad or Wario would be awesome!)

I get that it's a lot more work to come up with new, fitting content for remakes considering remakes, by their nature, are supposed to be low-intensity in terms of development costs and manpower, but it'd at least be more of a justification for their existence beyond just a graphical overhaul.

Having messed around with F-Zero 99 a little, one thing that springs to mind is that I'm a little surprised the whole "retraux" movement hasn't dabbled more with the Mode 7-style "3D" graphics seen on some SNES games and a few on other consoles here and there - it's never really been something I've considered, but I think it's almost a missed opportunity.

Giving that kind of look a modern treatment with a few changes here and there to modernise it a little seems like it'd work for a really cool visual style that there hasn't really been much of. Immediately, that one indie kart racer springs to mind as a game that does use this kind of thing, but it'd be cool to see different takes that aren't Mario Kart clones or perhaps even in the racing genre - something like a simple tank game akin to Wii Tanks feels like it could work pretty well in that sort of style!

Ech screw it, I've been sitting on this basic concept for a while but here's my finalised take on what Smash would look like if it were truly a celebration of gaming history. Limiting myself to 27 roster slots, trying not to double-dip too much, and each character is intended to represent a different genre, concept, or general idea.


Couple of notes:

• The actual genres are, in order, Platformer, FPS, Turn-Based RPG, Arcade, Puzzle, Rhythm, Horror, Open-World, Battle Royale, Fighting, Beat-em-Up, Sandbox, MOBA, Simulation, Visual Novel, MMORPG, Shoot-em-Up, Dungeon Crawler, Sports, Racing, Monster Tamer, MetroidVania, Mobile, Indie, "Early Gaming History", Casual Content, and Licensed.
  • Some of the genres I chose to double-dip with were because I felt they'd work well as representatives for other concepts. For instance, Paddle and Racer made sense both because the racing genre is very much its own thing compared to sports games, but also because both Pong and Gran Turismo made a lot of sense to represent. Likewise, Reimu and Space Invader are in a similar boat. Also, I lumped in "dating sim" and "visual novel" together using TokiMemo.
  • Other characters represent their given genre because of popularity in additional areas. Jinx, for example, also represents League of Legends' presence in eSports as well as modern videogame adaptations, and Mii is intended to represent the shift toward casual games in the mid-2000s as well as character creators in general. Alucard is the most obvious example in that he's chosen over, say, Samus or Simon, because of the popularity and cultural importance of SotN.
• Spider-Man is here as the general "licensed game" rep. Adaptations of the Spider-Man franchise have been some of the longest-lasting and best-recieved in video games over the years, so it kind of makes sense.

i hope saul goodman is in the next smash i dont know if he'll get the letter though so sakurai better call saul instead

OMG GUYS THE DIRECT IS REAL

Random take, but one of my most-wanted elements in a hypothetical Ultimate Deluxe is Spirit descriptions. Even if the main Spirit Menu were to need a new "mode" like Spirit Museum for this so as to "maintain the purpose of Spirits" or whatever, it'd be nice to be able to see descriptions for the Spirits in the game, coupled with games they've appeared in and otherwise. It seems like it'd be a good way to add just a little more incentive to the World of Light mode!

I get that it wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world to do, given how many Spirits there currently are (1513, currently!), but brief blurbs or descriptions for them would do wonders. Sure, you can just Google the name of a Spirit and check out a fan wiki, but like, there's something kind of special about reading a description written in-house, y'know? Not only this, but considering Spirit Battles are explicitly intended to represent the original character, it'd be nice to get some information about them after doing battle with them for context's sake!

That said, I'd personally prefer the more informative writing style seen in Melee compared to the more self-aware style in Sm4sh, even if that's just a personal take.

if mario vs donkey kong is that bad i bet people hate the smash series

I have barely any idea how this would look like, or what sort of a story you could do with it, but I just had a random idea that I reckon would easily have the potential to be an absolute goldmine - a Muppets RPG.

I guess Kermit would probably be the main "hero/warrior" of sorts (maybe with a comically oversized banjo befitting of JRPG tropes?) but a couple of ideas I think would be fun would be:

• Animal as a sort of bard, but all of his status effects are directly intended to be offensive, and he has absolutely no defensive skills. Like he can buff the party's attack power to obscene levels and he can reduce the defence of opponents or inflict fear. He'd also have a drumset with him at all times and can just set it up just like that. I considered him as some sort of barbarian but honestly this seems funnier to me
• Bunsen and Beaker as a Cait Sith-like duo character acting kind of like a mage of sorts, but instead of using MP or traditional magic of any kind, they put together various materials in order to create chemicals (which work like potions) with different effects, using science as their main form of combat
• Gonzo has some of the most ridiculously powerful attacks in the game but almost all of his most powerful tools in some way end up dealing recoil damage to either him or the entire party in the process. However, if he damages them too much, he'll get boo'd out of the party by the audience
• Statler and Waldorf appear in inns in every single town for literally no reason, and keep giving the player ridiculous fetch quests that end up being some of the most convoluted in the game because they think it's funny

One thing I particularly like about Project M's old development rules for new characters is that despite the idea of infringing on something being a weird justification, I think it honestly lends to maintaining a cool general "vibe" for the game that sort of gets lost otherwise - a good example of exactly that being Mementos in 64's Remix. Avoiding backports from Sm4sh whilst simultaneously limiting yourself to characters already represented in the game somehow or another feels like it does a great job of maintaining a general theme - as cool as it is to see mods of characters like Joker, Goku or Shrek, it's (in my opinion) even cooler when a mod maintains a general sort of theme or concept to it throughout.

super smash bros brawl (2008)

who was sat on the board of directors at roblox, looking at the mounting pile of lawsuits, complaints, and angrily-written news articles large enough in number to fill a warehouse - all in relation to anything from creating illegal sex simulators to violating child labor laws - and thought to themselves "let's add an online dating service to our block game, there is absolutely nothing that can go wrong with this"

Can't believe people sleep on Mega Man & Bass when it has this banger


Pretty terrible otherwise but the music's pretty good tbh

Random question: if HAL approached you to choose and roughly conceptualise a brand new copy ability for Kirby to have in a future game - what ability would you suggest, what kind of enemy would drop it, and what would it allow Kirby to do?