KneeOfJustice99

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014 DO THE HARLEM SHAKE

bloodhound gang get on this right now



"WOOAOAOAOAAAHAHAHAHAHHH HOOLLYY ****"

would stuart little be allowed to partake in the body of christ

it d be so funny if rick astley was in mairo kart doblue dash haha hed be donkey kongs partner

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT: Remember how in Mario Kart 64, there's the Royal Raceway track, which allows you to drive outside Peach's Castle? Well... say, purely hypothetically, you could go inside. Would you - using Mario Kart gameplay - be able to beat Super Mario 64? Note that whilst the primary experiment is centred around Mario Kart 64, the track returned in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe - so it's fine to use that as a basis too, if you want.

My theory on it is that you would either get stuck on the stairs or in front of the paintings, but if your hop was high enough, the main problem would be beating King Bob-Omb because unless you could just drive into him you'd need to drive around Bob-Omb Battlefield to actually find items to hit him with. (Also, the swinging bridge seems like it'd be a nightmare.)

random thought: if a new mario paint came out would you buy it

who the **** approved devo 2.0 i just wanna talk



seriously i just wanna talk who at disney decided this was a good idea

Not to jump on the bandwagon despite that being exactly what I'm doing but shhhh, I feel like I'd enjoy Funko Pops more if they were more... interesting? I've never personally found much interest in collectable figurines of any kind, and the unified and soulless design that Funko Pops use is kind of a downer when you consider some of the actual characters they have going for them due to licensing deals. Coupled with this bizarre sense of them feeling less like actual collectables and more like investments (don't open it!!!! it'll be worth like $24.03 in 27 years!!!!!!!) which I suppose is partially from a variety of things from marketing to packaging design to even the general recption to them, the entire ecosystem is just weirdly unappealing to me. They feel and look cheap, but in an expensive way.

Even aside from the questionable nature of the company and so forth, whilst I can see the appeal, I genuinely don't understand why they've become as popular as they have... aside from just being an investment. They feel weirdly soulless, and their designs don't help matters much. It's not really for me, but I wouldn't hate on people for enjoying them - I just don't really understand it.

you ever have that fun thing where you have a project due in like seven hours which you've finished long in advance and you're checking over but because your browser's crashed you can only recover the ****ing placeholder version from weeks ago

i'm actually seething right now

holy hecking bingle its jamiroquai 2 what the balls

I know I talk about the ethics of piracy and copyright a lot, to the point where it might get quite boring (and if that is the case, I'm really sorry!), but a scenario happened today when I was at uni that I feel is pretty relevant.

Myself and a couple of others were playing some casual Ultimate whilst we were in the student lounge and waiting for our period to start. Items on, 3 players, free for all chaos. Hardly what you'd see at EVO. Anyways, we were playing on Wrecking Crew when one of the people there (let's call them "Chris", he's nice ) asked, "Who's that pink guy?"

Turns out he'd summoned Sukapon from an Assist Trophy, and he was doing his thing. Y'know, tossing his head around, spinning, you get the idea. So I respond by saying that it's Sukapon from Joy Mech Fight, pretty cool NES fighting game that Nintendo made themselves - all the characters in it are a bit like Rayman.

He then asked me that million dollar question - "Sounds cool! Might check it out some time - where can I play it?"

Let's consider the options that "Chris" has here. Bear in mind that I'm writing from the UK - the NES wasn't as popular here as it was in the States, with SEGA being a prominent force, as well as a lot of the PC market.

1. The original Famicom release. If you want to "do things properly", by all means, go ahead. It's the console the game was designed for, after all. Except, an NES isn't going to do - it was a Japan-exclusive game, after all, so aside from having to inport the cartridge you'll also need to either import a Famicom (as well as, probably, a Japanese television from the era) or a 60-to-72 pin adaptor. Bear in mind that the cart on it's own can be found used on eBay for around £15 if you're looking in the right place, though coming from Japan, shipping can be expensive. Note that this option won't financially support Nintendo for their work, by the way.
   
   
2. Acquire a Japanese Wii that already has the game installed. Nintendo thankfully did a great job with the Virtual Console service on the Wii, though Joy Mech Fight's exclusivity to Japanese markets unfortunately remained in place. Of course, the Wii Shop has been closed for years at this point, so you'll need to find a console with the game already installed. Again, this option won't financially support Nintendo in any way.
   
   
3. Acquire a Japanese 3DS or Wii U, and get on the eShop - fast. The 3DS and Wii U eShops also both released the game in Japanese markets, but remember - the 3DS and Wii U are both region-locked, and the eShop on both platforms closes on Monday. Unless you can be damn-well certain that you've got all of the preliminary knowledge and technology to run them such as cables or adaptors, as well as a solid shipping service, you might stand a chance. You have five days. Good luck! Oh, and this only supports Nintendo for the next five days. After that - nope!
   
   
4. Create a new Nintendo account (this time a Japanese one) and then purchase a subscription to the Nintendo Switch Online service. Luckily for Ethan, this is the easiest option. Sure, you're going to have to spend a minimum of an extra £3.49 for a month of access to the game (on top of the money you've already been spending on NSO for your actual account) but it's at least not in the Expansion Pack. It's a lot of effort, but it's your easiest option so far. Oh, and remember to keep the online service topped up if you ever want to go back to the game, by the way. However, this does allow you to financially compensate Nintendo for their work, which is a plus.

Also, all four listed options are in Japanese. Call us uncultured, but none of us who were present speak it.

Now, before I continue, a little note on conversational etiquette. If someone asks you how to go about performing an action or otherwise "doing" something, you're typically expected to give them the least complicated correct answer. Admittedly, being autistic, this doesn't come naturally to me, but it's something I've come to understand. For instance, if someone asks how to work a microwave, you wouldn't read off the entire manual at them, you'd gesture toward what buttons to press and bam - you're done.

With this in mind, I implore you take a wild shot in the dark as to why I responded to "Ethan"'s query with an unlisted fifth option, which would allow him to play the game on pretty much any of his devices, in English, with relatively minimal setup, and with a wide variety of options for controls, visuals, and other aspects of gameplay - that's also recieving active and consistent updates and support, possesses the functionality to play the entire NES library including the releases by third parties like Capcom or Konami, and (though this isn't really a part of my criticism) is free. Yes, Joy Mech Fight is a pretty specific example, I'm aware, but it's the one I'm using.

I have to wonder, are Nintendo worried that their own library will cannibalise their current output?

in light of our new sponsorship deal to help with site upkeep, i'd like to proudly present smashboards patch notes 1.05:

- an active raid: shadow legends account is required to sign into the site

that will be all. thank you and goodnight

The Internet is not something that you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes.

It's funny to me that John Lennon briefly joking that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus" was considered blasphemous and massively controversial, when a vast number of people on this very site have more than 12 followers

Did I ever thank you for the wattpad recommendation?

"Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage."
- Remy, Ratatouille

come to think of it it'd have been so cool if fighters pass character 10 was ****ing majima from yakuza and its this huge fakeout reveal where its like, they reveal kiryu first, and then he refuses to fight because his first opponent is peach, so majima leaps out of a trashcan and punts her to mars as the battle music starts up and kiryu is just like "jesus christ this guy?"

cannot believe that this legendary icon has never had his chance to shine in mario kart. despicable. hopefully he is added in the booster course pass (at full size).

y'all realise that pizza can be used to solve literally anything, right? like sure you can have a dessert pizza or a breakfast pizza but you can also gift pizzas, use pizzas as doorstops, wear pizzas, use them as a replacement for human contact, stack them atop one another in the form of a pizza fort, etc. i like to imagine prometheus gifted the knowledge of pizza to mankind

random question that just came to mind: who owns twilight house? (mkds) like, the lights are on. electricity can't be free. or can it? i mean, it's not impossible to imagine that the amps are being used as a form of bioenergy or something of the like, but then that doesn't answer the original point. does king boo live here? i mean it's a pretty big place but then most of it seems to be made up of courtyards and i wouldn't think the boos really like courtyards because they're usually found inside ghost houses. so like. does anyone live here? if so, who???

I remember being really confused when I was younger and played on Bowser's Castle on Mario Kart Wii for the first time because it was completely surrounded by lava and I was like "if Bowser lives here how does he get to Tesco? Does he have a lava boat?"

I didn't know at the time that Bowser has airships and the like so he probably uses those. Actually, the first proper Mario game I played was Super Mario 64 on an emulator at a holiday club in like 2016. It took ages for me to get around to actually playing Super Mario Bros. lol

Speaking of a Mushroom Kingdom Warriors game, I dug up this concept I made a few months back whilst I was digging through an old OneDrive recently. Looks unbalanced as hell, but I think the Virus could be cool... if not for the fact that it'd inevitably be seen as extremely controversial for, shall we say, "various reasons". I guess I was really into the whole "composite character" thing at this time, huh.

I feel like the inevitable problem with a Mushroom Kingdom Warriors game is that, aside from Toads, Lumas (which would inevitably be a bit situational), maybe Mini Marios, and possibly some of the minor characters seen in Super Mario Odyssey, there's not a massive variety of characters you'd use as ordinary "mooks" in a conflict, whereas with other factions (like Bowser's... kingdom, the Kremlings, maybe a Kamek-led rebellion consisting of enemies common in the Yoshi series, etc), there's a lot of variety to be able to experiment with there.

...then again, Hyrule Warriors did end up using Hyrulean foot soldiers and pretty much nobody else as mooks so I guess that's not too much of an issue.

Come to think of it, would it be considered confusing to have Toad (the character) as playable, despite most of the MK's mooks being Toads too? I mean, you could have Toadette in his place, but that feels... weird. I guess it wouldn't be that bad if you distinguished "main Toad" somehow, but as for how you'd do it, I'm not exactly sure. Would you just have Toad be the only red Toad and have the rest of the Toads have different colours?

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT: You get a frantically-written email from Player First Games asking you - yes, you - to decide who the next three MultiVersus characters ought to be in order to bring the game back into mainstream relevancy. Note that, in this case, you're going to be limited to Warner-owned stuff because you have like, 10 minutes to decide who to add and (roughly) how or why and any licensing deals would take too long. Who're your picks?

Consider, if you will. In Dr. Mario World, one of the playable characters is Dr. King Boo. This implies that having taken the hippocratic oath is taken as a sign of greater honorary respect than being actual royalty in Mario's world. (I can't really say the "Mushroom Kingdom" because I guess if King Boo is a king then he's... wait, where is he a king of?)

this doesn't bode well

I wonder who looked at New Super Mario Bros. Wii after Yellow Toad was added and said to themselves "I know exactly who to add here. Toad. But blue." I like to imagine they got promoted for that decision

random question: how would waluigi even play in a typical mario platformer

like would he be extreme luigi with no traction and comically high jumps???

y'know giving it some thought i feel like ganondorf would be massively buffed if his down b was changed to that one custom move from sm4sh where he leaps upward and kicks forward because it'd actually work as a burst tool, gives him something he can actually do against projectiles, and works as another recovery tool, whilst still having him keep a lot of his vibes whilst not being as low-tier. like, i guess it wouldn't rise him much but it'd be something and i think him having more varied tools would be a great step in the right direction with his design if we keep the fundamentals as is

heya mods sorry to wake you up if youre asleep because its like 5am lol but we have another spambot who apparently wants us to apply for diplomas or something again sorry to bother yall but just a heads up thank you so much in advance

im really ****ing craving pancakes right now. like. more than i can put into words. help

I don't recommend games often, but one I've been playing a surprising amount recently is Orbital for the GBA, and I feel like it's one of the rare times I'd absolutely recommend a game to the majority of people I know who like interesting experiences.



I should note before starting that I've been playing the Gameboy Advance version that was a part of the Japan-exclusive bit Generations series, which was handled mostly by Skip - same people behind Chibi-Robo - though there was also a WiiWare port/reimagining in the form of Orbient that was released worldwide under the Art Style series (again, handled by Skip.) Given the Wii Shop has been closed for several years and the GBA title is a rare, low-selling Japan-exclusive title in a limited series at the end of its console's lifespan, it's also unfortunately not very easy to get your hands on, unless, well. You know.

That aside, Orbital is honestly a very fun experience. If I had to compare it to something more recognisable, I'd say it has a similar sort of baseline concept to something like Angry Birds: Space combined with Agar.io, but coupled with a calm and relaxing atmosphere, a great minimalistic feel, and interesting gravity-based mechanics that make the game a weird puzzle of sorts.

You're essentially a small planet of some description that floats around space, and must "consume" other planets in order to grow in size. Furthermore, it's possible to get caught in the orbit of planets larger than you, or catch smaller planets in your orbit (which gives you extra lives), and you beat each level after capturing the yellow planet in your orbit. Your controls are exceptionally limited - one button for each command, allowing you to "attract" or "repel" from nearby gravitational fields. This, whilst simplistic, allows for the game's physics and unique situations to put you in sometimes complex scenarios where you actually really struggle to complete it, mostly because if you crash into objects larger than yourself, you lose a life.

I feel the only problem with Orbital in its current form is the limitations of its own hardware - the music, whilst intending to capture the peaceful tranquility of space, can sometimes sound a little tinny or uncomfortable, and that's mostly due to the GBA's soundchip. It's also sometimes possible for the "launch" of momentum you get after hitting an object to launch you directly into another, especially in the later busier stages, but it's not too common. Aside from that, I'd totally recommend this as a great casual experience for both challenge and just an interesting concept. Well, I would, except I don't think I can, as I've mentioned.

I feel like Nintendo's puzzle games in general are an aspect of their output that isn't discussed nearly enough, in my personal opinion, and if I'm honest - I feel this sort of style would lend exceptionally well in the modern gaming climate to Nintendo's (now pretty-much ceased) gaming output on mobile devices. Whilst the bit Generations and Art Style series specifically have both been dead for over a decade at this point, I think it's a bit of a shame that these sorts of ideas haven't come back - though a part of that might be due to Skip's... hardships following Chibi-Robo Zip Lash.

I feel like these experiences (and this era of Nintendo in general) is a particularly interesting one to dive into, and has a lot of concepts that I think would work a lot better today. The bit Generations series especially was originally intended as a "coffee table gaming experience", the sort of video gaming experience that you could use as a conversation-starting "art piece" of sorts, hence their unique boxes, marketing, and design. Even the Art Style series was intended as an exploration of "Vision" and "Sounds", allowing these to be key experimental focuses of the design through interesting takes on previously obvious points (like with Base 10, a puzzle game inspired by 7-segment LCD displays).

That sort of formula feels almost kind of missing from modern Nintendo - logical, honestly, but I feel like the Switch specifically would work really well for this sort of "arthouse" feel from a couple of games. The closest I think we've gotten with it so far is possibly 51 Clubhouse Games, but that's not quite it either. Say what you will, but I think small-scale downloadable titles with this kind of appeal and feel would be a welcome presence as a part of Nintendo's offerings. Admittedly, I'm not a CEO or a marketing expert - and the audience for this kind of experience wouldn't be the largest out there - but Nintendo releasing smaller-scale puzzle or even experimental titles on the eShop feels like it'd have a wider degree of appeal than it might seem at first glance.

So, yeah. Ramble over. Overall, I'd give Orbital an 7/10 - addicting gameplay and a really unique feel and style are only tempered by the difficulty in getting a hold of it in the first place, as well as the slightly unappealing sound design and the occasional cheap deaths. Even so, I'd still want to recommend it regardless. It seems like a particularly fun take on the puzzle genre as a whole, and it's a microcosm of a really interesting period of Nintendo's own history that really doesn't get enough love overall.

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT:

Nintendo finally cave into fan demand and decide to release ROMs of their older games on an Internet repository of sorts where you pay for each game. They don't use Steam, but use their own website to do so. They also can't sell licensed games or games with too many legal issues unless they can make deals - like with Data East - but they pretty much dump them all on there at once and ask you to buy them. The caveat to this is that all of the games are sold at their market value as of release - adjusting for inflation, of course. For example, Super Mario Bros. - releasing for $40 in 1985 - would now cost $111.84, which Nintendo have decided makes obvious and logical sense as - in their minds - they're releasing the game through traditional means again.

Thoughts?

mario kart 8 deluxe fans visiting amsterdam for the first time (where are the shyguys)

THOUGHT EXPERIMENT

You're at this fancy resteraunt in like Paris or something, like, it's this place that's been around for 600 years or something and like you're surrounded by international royalty or something and then you order a Diet Coke and the waiter comes and spills it on you and its like "oh oh well" but then they go to get you a replacement and they slip on the first drink and fall and spill it on you again and then a second waiter carrying like a plate of raw eggs trips over the first waiter and spills the eggs all over you and then the manager comes out and sees two waiters on the floor next to you and rushes over but he's got a bottle of incredibly expensive wine that's like, 8 million years old, worth more than the entire country of Switzerland, hand-grown and pressed by like Napoleon, in his hands - and then he trips over them and spills the wine all over you

what do you do

i think it'd be fun to see an interpretation of the king midas story set in the modern day where he's in america, and the main problem isn't necessarily the fable's original intension of having the moral of appreciating what you have, but it's actually that the government wants him dead for astronomically ****ing up the gold standard and resulting in rampant and uncontrollable inflation of the us dollar

Is your profile picture a giant Eddie Murphy head on wheels? Because I feel like I’ve seen it somewhere…

baby reveal update 1.7 patch notes:

• **** gender, reveal whether the child is human or an otherworldly spawn of satan
• create a reveal trailer for the child in question with a 40 minute mr. sakurai presents afterward
• buy all of the balloons and cake in green and then when people ask you why say "its an alien" and dont elaborate
• unicycles are now mandated
• america doesnt have them though they cant be trusted not to set an entire state on fire (sorry guys)

i think this is a good update

people ****post about socrates but people don't realise he was also like, an elite hoplite. like, you sort of expect him to be some scrawny yanderedev-looking ***** who like jumps out at you in the street and screams about the human condition but he was literally ripped as **** so like its like 80s arnold schwartzenegger steps in front of you being like 9 feet tall and starts aggressively questioning your psychological state