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KneeOfJustice99
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  • Hello all! I've been giving some thought to a pretty interesting topic and something's occurred to me that I think is pertinent to ask, even if there's a reasonable argument that I'm about half a decade late. Specifically, I'm going to pose a question:

    Can you think of any character redesigns (in gaming ideally, but elsewhere if you like) that felt good, appealing, or natural?

    A lot of people talk about really bad redesigns - Spyro's look in Skylanders, Crash's look in Crash of the Titans and Banjo & Kazooie's look in Nuts and Bolts spring to mind - but I'm kind of interested to see what people feel is a particularly good instance of character redesigns either in terms of modernisation or just a generally changing artstyle over time. For context: I'm not talking about full-on reboots of character design like in the case of Dante in DMC: Devil May Cry where characters look very distinctly different on purpose so as only to invoke the original, I'm moreso thinking about evolutions.

    The main one that I know people seem to like is Pac-Man's from the Pac-Man World series, but I'm interested to hear your points!
    I reckon, personally at least, that the best way to handle an Atari crossover of some kind (especially in the case of older games like the 2600) would be by featuring characters as they appeared on boxart - even if they never actually appeared in the games themselves. Obviously there'd be some exceptions - Centipede and Yar spring to mind as obvious inclusions from within their actual games - but there's some picks I think could potentially be really cool, like the Commander from Missile Command, or the Escapee from Breakout.



    And come to think of it, using a similar redesign philosophy to that seen in the Recharged series for each character feels like it'd be a lot of fun. Keeping aspects of their original designs whilst giving them a fresh coat of paint seems like the best way of handling these in some cases, because it'd even let you come up with characters for games that otherwise might not get represented (such as Asteroids and Missile Command) due to the lack of in-game characters!

    I imagine it'd be unpopular to some due to a percieved "lack of respect" for the original source material, but I feel like a prisoner with a hammer and a ball and chain would be way more interesting than a paddle with someone presumably inside it, for instance. Even then, you could still represent key aspects of gameplay through things like stages - a Breakout stage feels like it'd be fun, and likewise seeing interesting takes on concepts like the Caverns of Mars as a stage would be awesome. It'd still be unquestionably Atari - just not quite in the way you might expect!

    I feel like this would end up being the best way of doing an Atari crossover fighter if you were to go ahead with that. Whilst there's a certain charm to the original box art (or even, in some cases, sprites), I think recontextualising some aspects of the characters whilst paying effective homage to the original source material would be an effective way of making it all work - whilst keeping things fresh and interesting across the board! (I think these kinds of redesigns would be cool even for later inclusions, such as stuff from the 5200 or even as far as the Jaguar, even if a lot of Atari's most popular and prominent stuff is either arcade releases or 2600 games.)

    Come to think of it, even aside from Atari's own catalogue, there's a ton of potential for some interesting guest picks here. Characters like the Robotron Hero, a Space Invader, and Mrs. Pac-Man feel like they'd all be really fitting, even if you'd need to see whether Warner Bros., Square-Enix and uhhhhh presumably Namco, AtGames and Midway??? are willing to play ball. Oh well!
    AI discussion in the 1960s: "AI could be used to automate gruelling work that, currently, is performed by humans. It could lead us into a bohemian and colourful age of art and expression, with work still existing - but taking a backseat compared to a life of leisure and creativity. Wouldn't that be a fabulous evolution of the human race?"

    AI discussion in the 2020s: "I have been working at McDonalds since I was 15, get paid a pittance for 12-hour work days, and now I can't even make art or music because computers do it all for me. Life is hell, it gets worse every day, and I have absolutely no power or direction because of it."

    oh~ the future is delightful!~
    I feel like one cool take on the "indie crossover" concept that I don't think we've seen yet could be a puzzle game! Using basic puzzle games as a basis as to how it could work, I imagine it'd have some similarities to something like Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo or the Puyo Puyo series, with characters having special abilities of some kind that aids them in-game. For instance - someone like Welltaro could have a beam-like attack that eliminates all tiles on a vertical line, whilst alternately I can imagine something like a SuperHot character having the ability to only make time tick down whilst tiles are moving. Not sure whatsoever how balancing this would work - but it feels like it could be a lot of fun!
    So was nobody ever going to tell me that there was a Street Fighter game released on PC which was controlled only by a mouse and actually only featured like 5 Street Fighter characters, 2 Rival Schools characters and an original pick, as well as several characters from novels written by Chinese wuxia novelist Jin Yong in like the 50s as well as like four characters from Cyborg 009 and then ****ing Barack Obama as a Valentine's Day DLC addition



    This reads like a ****post but I'm dead ****ing serious
    imagine pitching chess today

    "yeah so you have 16 pieces each with unique functions"
    "okay so presumably you have to unlock a piece through lootcrates"
    "no you just get them at the start of the game"
    "oh through like a shop system with microtransactions?"
    "no you just have them all like there"
    "not interested, next pitch please"
    Come to think of it, given Warner Bros. hired Ronald Reagan back in the late 30s and he'd act in a number of B-movies around that time period, plus the fact that they own the rights to MAD Magazine, it's not unreasonable to suggest a parodical interpretation of Ronald Reagan (likely with a deliberately caricatured design based on the magazine itself) could hypothetically be a character in MultiVersus. I imagine his moveset would mostly centre around him being a nuclear-powered madman with particularly powerful attacks, most prominently one in which he utterly wrecks the economy around him and results in the opponent falling into deep poverty.

    Unrelated but my sleep schedule is wack lmao
    Is it just me that finds the existence of the WikiReader so annoying because of how much missed potential lies right there?

    For context, the WikiReader is a device released in 2009 that's basically an offline Wikipedia machine - which allows you to update it yearly and was released for around $100. It runs on AA batteries and lasts for around 90 hours, has the option to load other Wikimedia stuff, eBooks and custom articles, and is small enough to fit into a pocket - all whilst containing the sum total of mankind's knowledge in your pocket.

    Why the hell was this released exclusively as a consumer device?

    Consider for a moment the other options we could consider here:

    - Shipping them out to still-developing countries to utilise as a part of schools with next to no money behind them would be essentially a world-changing use of the device, and considering how small and relatively cheap it is for an "online device", it'd be a perfect pocket way to bring technology to people without having to create complex internet systems for more than one central computer (for updates to the Wikipedia database and the like.)

    - Using them in schools and the like would alleviate concerns surrounding the classic "WE CAN'T USE MOBILE PHONES BECAUSE YOU WILL BE DISTRACTED" argument (which I think needs rethinking anyways but ech) and would act as a valuable educational tool - note also that there's plenty of parental controls on the device such as password protection for certain articles and the like too, and that the relatively low consumer price point is actually a quite enticing offer for schools even now, let alone the potential lowering of prices due to buying in bulk

    - Use in things like hiking or exploration groups as a valuable resource when used out and about! Albeit, it'd be ideal if it were a little sturdier, but still!

    Releasing it as a consumer-only device feels like a huge missed opportunity because it would work so, so much better otherwise, and it's kind of funny because its legacy - rather than being recognised for putting the sum of all human knowledge into more hands than ever before - is one of being utterly forgotten or simply laughed at 10 years later. It's a shame, and yeah. It's huge missed potential.
    KneeOfJustice99
    KneeOfJustice99
    Honestly, the fact that an offline device of the same ilk can now probably contain:

    • An encyclopaedia on basically everything
    • Sources for all of that knowledge (if you're using something like WikiSource)
    • A full dictionary and thesaurus in around 20 different languages
    • Translation guides to several languages
    • Around 50,000 books from the Project Gutenberg library
    • Scratch that, pretty much the entire "Wiki" series - whether it be WikiVoyage for travel info, WikiQuote for quotes, WikiSpecies as a species directory, and so forth
    • A complex scientific calculator with numerous interesting potential effects
    • Likely tools associated with maps, probably even including GPS if you wanted to go that far
    • Probably all on a MicroSD card that you could take out regularly and update in a centralised online terminal
    • Significantly more things should you need them, basically anything you'd stuff into a pager like a world clock

    How isn't something like this being used more for things like education, like, seriously? A multi-tool like this feels like such an obvious thing to make considering you wouldn't even need to include internet connection for it to be a POWERFUL study tool on its own - and it comes with none of the bull**** baggage that mobile phones seem to come with in terms of their integration into an educational environment.
    Hear me out here: I think it'd be cool to see someone eventually release a modern take on a cassette player. I'm not talking just "Walkman but again", I'm thinking like a solid number of additions that still keep the classic vibe - add things like a rechargable battery and Bluetooth support and the like, but then also keep basic cassette features like an autostop and stuff. I think it'd be really cool (even though it probably already exists and utterly flopped.)
    Come to think of it, there's probably a reasonable argument that physical music releases are technically now considered a form of merchandise. I mean, whilst I suppose you could argue something like a CD still has a "practical use" as a form of media storage, I feel that releases on things like cassettes or maybe even vinyl are by nature less intended to be "a method of listening to it" and more "a collectable item" in a sense.

    Aside from that, I love that the concept of "new thing on old format" still exists, whether it be in the form of music or other things like modern physical releases on older consoles. It's awesome!
    Not gonna lie, 90s-era Sony are so interesting to properly delve into - because for every "design for design's sake" product they have that has absolutely no target audience and would never sell, there's an oddly forward-thinking and really interesting concept to match it.



    Pictured are Sony's "Digital Block" concepts, which is basically a modular "gadget" with a number of different things you can freely add to it. I find this particularly interesting because the idea of a modular mobile phone is something that's still kinda being kicked around even today, whilst this specifically has been at least conceptualised since the mid-90s! Sony's design documents suggest that, amongst other things, their central concepts were:
    • A "Battery" module, which would exist on everything and would act as the central source of power
    • A "Radio" module, which allows you to access FM/AM band radio
    • Something referred to as an "MD Recorder" (probably Minidisc?), which apparently basically turns your device into a Walkman
    • A "Speaker" module, which allows you to use an actual built-in speaker as opposed to headphones
    • A combined "CCD & CCU" module, which is basically a digital camera of sorts (that would apparently use the MD Recorder's screen as a display?)
    • A "CD Player" module, albeit one of those really dangerous-looking open-faced CD players


    I feel like something like this, even now, could have a lot of potential. From what I can tell, it seems like this never actually released - which is kind of a shame if I'm honest, it'd be really cool to get a hold of it. I'd love to imagine people even now homebrewing some interesting module concepts such as a microphone/dictaphone, some kind of touchscreen integration, a "storage" module for SD cards and so forth - though, I imagine this would never really have caught on due to how weird it is (especially with how long a single unit can become if you stack together a number of devices for the sake of getting as much use as possible, very "Tower of Powery".) This lowkey seems like it'd be so much fun to just screw around with, and I think it'd have been awesome to look at had it ever come to market.

    Not really sure why I've latched onto this so much
    I had this bizarre dream last night that Smash 6 was announced (with "Smash 6" as it's working title) but it was like, weirdly realistic, and I literally woke up this morning like "yo is SmashBoards gonna have an article on this??" because it was so bizarrely real somehow

    It was like a really early build and the first five characters were Mario, "Beast Ganon", some weird knight who looked a little like Black Knight but wore red, fleshy armour (I guess they looked a bit like Nightmare from SoulCalibur or maybe someone from Monster Hunter in the Rathalos Armour?), Pyra but on her own for some reason, and "Stalfos, returning from Melee" because for some bizarre reason like apparently Stalfos was a clone of Link in Melee or something (specifically in the OoT design), and then some 5th character who I unfortunately forgot (but they did show an image of Mega Man and Bayonetta for some reason) and it was really weird because the character select screen had like Mario on one side, Beast Ganon as the biggest icon in the centre, then "Red Knight" in the top corner and Pyra below them

    Then like they revealed three stages (but there were actually 6 in total) and like one of them was this big field that looked a bit like Rathalos's boss arena and they showed gameplay of Beast Ganon against Mario, before revealing that they would release music tracks through SoundCloud of all things and saying that "this is a really early beta" and then I woke up and it was so weird

    I really don't know what to make of this because I've not had such a "realistic" dream in ages and it genuinely felt really weird waking up and realising it wasn't real
    I feel like Tony Hawk is in this bizarrely unique situation where he's one of the most well-known people in a number of spaces for different reasons and has continued to be relevant for like, 30ish years, and yet barely anyone knows what he looks like
    So, like, something that just occurred to me this morning whilst I was in the limbo state between dreaming and awake (the greatest high, as DIO would call it) was this:

    If every single human were to shrink to half their original size with no other effects, positive or negative, would house prices remain the same due to their actual quality, location and size not changing, would they increase due to a relative "increase in floor-space", or would they decrease due to a general lack of accessibility and difficulty in interacting with things like light switches?
    Random concept I just had: it'd be so cool if there were some kind of emulator for VR, but like, you know how the Genesis Collection had that thing where there was the 3D-modelled room and the like? So like, you're in VR, and you can interact with the room or the world or whatever (and maybe make a custom room!) as well as having 3D models of the console, television, games and so forth, and then being able to emulate games through the TV in the game world.

    That probably already exists, but screw it, I can dream
    Random thought I just had: I think butterflies would be an awesome addition to Minecraft one day! But, well, why? We already have bees, right? Well...

    Butterflies would also come with caterpillars and cocoons, which would allow for a unique mob that - unlike any other - can take on multiple unique forms (that aren't just growing up!) They'd also be able to interact with flowers, but would primarily be focused on providing ambience to biomes such as forests, plains, and so forth. Not only this, but butterflies would provide a valuable educational tool for younger kids, specifically in relation to the unique life cycles of animals! They don't break the rule about real-world hostile mobs, and I can even imagine cocoons having some use as a decorative block in some cases. Plus - it'd be really cool to have a wide variety of different colours (or even designs!) to really bring a splash of colour to the world!
    I had this bizarre dream last night where I was involved in a massive argument as to whether Estonia was better than Norway, and then I was pushed over and woke up in Oslo, and I knew it was Oslo somehow but I was actually just in a massive field filled with trampolines built into the ground and with a giant transmission tower in the distance but the argument kept on going so we ended up going to an Italian resteraunt and they checked if we were drunk the moment we walked in but like, the resteraunt was incredibly narrow and long I'm talking like corridor length and they had us all do this weird memory puzzle in a 4x4 grid and because "Malcolm" got it wrong we got kicked out but then they gave us a lifetime supply of ravioli but it had tons of pigeon feathers in it because all of the birds from Oslo were trying to eat it before we did so we had to run away from all the birds and then we tripped and fell into this massive cavernous chamber and it was actually a Minecraft redstone machine but we couldn't figure out what it did because when we pressed the button it didn't do anything and then the birds broke in and ate all of my fingers, of which I distinctly remember having at least 20

    I have never been to Estonia or Norway, know nobody named Malcolm, have not eaten ravioli in too long, and only have 10 fingers.

    Help.

    This video, and this entire concept, really intrigues me. However, it's not just because of the effect at play. See, I want to suggest something potentially very interesting that has a high likelihood of developing down the line.

    Picture, for a moment. Say, a 90 or so minute film is painstakingly replicated with millions of maps, frame by frame. Note blocks are used to replicate music and sound effects, and you could potentially have a minecart rig to allow the player to move along slowly enough for it all to work. For argument's sake, let's say Bee Movie were replicated in Minecraft. And, for context - this isn't even an impossible thing, it'd just take ages. (And, realistically, Shrek is more likely anyway. Sorry.)

    What the hell would the legal response to that be? Like, unlike something along the lines of the Library of Truth (which was made illegal only because of the external documents held within it), or traditional Minecraft computers which have never really gotten much further than playing something like Snake or calculating the age of a black hole, this would be essentially an entire piece of media that's technically being pirated utilising Minecraft as a software with which to do so. Would Mojang be held responsible for providing a form of software that can be used to commit piracy? Would they be forced to somehow fundamentally alter how maps work to prevent effects like this from happening, purely so that companies like Disney don't bring out the Mouse's Guillotine upon them? How would Microsoft respond?

    Whilst, logically, it's unlikely anything might happen - I think it's interesting because it might bring about genuinely really important questions about sandboxes and creative tools. If Minecraft is able to be used as a platform on which "pirated" content can be "broadcasted" (using the terms very loosely here because it is literally just a tech demo), even if it's against Mojang's TOS to sell content from within the game (which presumably would include film tickets), the idea of a potential lawsuit over sandbox games being required to prevent copyrighted content from being replicated in such a way feels like it'd be a massive blow - and potentially one of the single largest things to happen in gaming in the decade. It'd literally result in creation tools in games being forced to either vanish, or come under massive scrutiny - and that's not even getting started on how it would affect mods and the like. Obviously, this is like, a worst-case scenario... but it's still really interesting to think about.
    one thing i feel like doesn't get talked about enough is the really weird and specific minor changes between an american "thing" and how it exists in other countries, and then how the rise of youtube (a us-centric platform) gives this bizarre sensation of not-quite-deja-vu mixed with sprinklings of mandela effect type stuff because it's being described as this universally nostalgic experience when it somehow feels just a little bit wrong

    good examples of this to me are things like claire's, weird experiences with teachers, arcades, malls/shopping centres, the sega "genesis", terrible school lunches, flash games, fast food places and supermarkets that don't exist outside the us, and comics as a whole. like you never see anyone talk about like, plug from the bash street kids, but EVERYONE knows the big wheel, right? idk its weird is there like a name for it? please don't just say "being british" i'll cry
    Okay, I'm not a CEO or a web developer or some kind of sociologist, but here's my three takes in regards to YouTube that need to be considered at some point by them.

    1. Videos being retroactively affected due to policy changes is fundamentally ridiculous. Having half your catalogue of videos being demonetized, or god forbid outright removed, because it's not acceptable by the modern playbook, is farcical unless it's a situation where that genuinely makes sense. Sure, if it's stuff like people being racist or whatever - I totally get why it's getting demonetised in that case! - but if you've, like, got footage of Call of Duty in the background and you say "crap" exactly once in a 20 second video nearly a decade old and get your channel nuked for "violent footage" and "excessive profanity", it's utterly ridiculous.

    2. Some form of more consistent and accessible communication from YouTube, both in regards to its communication within its own company and with its communication to the public, is absolutely necessary. It's ridiculous that we're less than 24 hours away from 2023 and the best possible way to work out if there's a policy change is to dig up a Twitter page that would just respond with a bot message instructing you to purchase YouTube Premium. It's ridiculous that said policy changes are seemingly unknown even by YouTube. And honestly, I think this comes down to the fact that YouTube these days is a skeleton crew of humans running an array of bots, but what that means, is that nobody is ever in the loop.

    3. YouTube Kids exists for a reason. Please, for the love of god, put it to ****ing use.

    I'm by no means an expert. But these feel like simple, fundamental flaws. And you know what? I think I know exactly why this is. Monopolisation. YouTube is literally fundamentally unrivalled in the online video space. You think you're going to get an audience on Vimeo? DailyMotion? I mean sure, you could trundle off to somewhere like Twitter or Instagram, but the former's going down in flames and the latter's barely any more open about what the hell it's doing. I don't know what the ideal solution to this is, given how expensive it is to run a video site like this (and given YouTube's running at a loss), but the fact that there isn't - and will never be - a solid enough alternative to YouTube as a platform, means they can do whatever the hell they want and the service they provide is... I'd go as far as to say below subpar.

    So, what do I suggest you do? Well, what can I suggest? I'm not a CEO or a web developer or some kind of sociologist.
    FazDude
    FazDude
    The problem with the "made for kids" garbage isn't even COPPA's fault - All they wanted YouTube to do was not collect data on kids (a very valid request). The locking of comments, disabling of the miniplayer, and all that other nonsense was 100% YouTube acting on their own accord, probably to appear as the moral good guy.
    psb123
    psb123
    Yeah. FazDude hit the nail on the head with that one. I'll admit that if it's a video that's actually for kids, and by that I mean kid friendly content that the uploader themselves chose to label that way without Youtube forcing it on them, then I can see the logic behind wanting comments disabled since online comments have the potential to get way too toxic way too quickly. But even then it is still a shame in a way that adults who still enjoy the content in question can't talk about it in the comments. I myself have seen many a Spongebob video to where I got curious as to what people had to say in the comments only to be met with the made for kids label.

    Personally I think Youtube is one of those sites that people shouldn't be allowed to visit until they're at least 13 in the first place. But that's my opinion.
    KneeOfJustice99
    KneeOfJustice99
    What I'm moreso getting at is the incessent need to sanitise the entire platform because little Timmy accidentally watched a FilthyFrankTV video and learned the F-word, when YouTube already does have a "Kids" platform. The idea that every single piece of YouTube content needs to be approachable and completely reasonable for the lowest common denominator fundamentally opposes the creativity that literally defines YouTube and other platforms like it. (At that point, you just have television all over again.)

    (Also, tangentially related, but the argument of "BUT MY WHITE SUPREMACY RANT WAS JUST A SATIRE!!!!" is about as solid as room temperature hydrogen. When I'm talking about creativity in this context, I'm talking about things that might not necessarily be appropriate or reasonable for children to watch, because they naturally gravitate more to an older audience. There's outright disgusting stuff on the platform, and even though I'm saying there needs to be less of an effort to utterly sanitise the entire place, there's a fundamental difference between weeding your garden and coating the entire garden in hundreds of gallons of bleach.)

    In response to psb123 psb123 , yes, YouTube does arbitrarily slap the "for Kids" label on pretty much anything that could be considered such. It's a problem, even if it's one I can sort of understand their response to. In fact, there's a lot of issues with the YouTube Kids platform, but I think most of them could be solved by just having it be a pretty much adjescent platform as opposed to a "mode" for YouTube, with generally stricter moderation and the like.

    It'd mean there's less issues with having to screw around with YouTube arbitrarily deciding every piece of animated content in human history is automatically child-friendly and thus removing basic pieces of functionality surrounding it, it doesn't get in the way of actual YouTube uploads by removing basic functionality, and it also means YouTube aren't "forced" to destroy close to two decades of culturally significant history so that Karen shuts up about how her child was brought up badly when it was her that left them to be brought up completely by the Internet in the first place.

    I think the problem with YouTube Kids is that fundamentally it's a good idea, but as with nearly everything YouTube's done in the last decade, it's been handled badly.
    Giving it some thought, though this is something I'd probably never actually bite the bullet and do, it'd be incredibly interesting to see how a roster for purely British comics looked. I originally thought it up when I briefly imagined a Beano vs. Dandy game of sorts, but the roster for a British comic game could be so utterly bat**** but interesting - picture, for a moment, people like Dennis the Menace (UK), Dan Dare, Judge Dredd, a Manga Shakespeare rep (preferably Macbeth but that's pure personal bias), Desperate Dan, Sonic but specifically from Sonic the Comic as a guest of some kind, and so many others? Seems like it'd be really fun to me.

    Also the entire Manga Shakespeare series is amazing you should totally check it out
    I'm just going to say it right now and I don't care what kind of a negative response I get for it.

    Mobile phones could have been one of the single best platforms for video gaming as a whole, and the mobile game market is a perfect example of massive, scarcely comprehensible missed opportunity. The fact that it's become an utter cesspool of the same crap being forcefed to you over and over again, with the same putrid, algorithmically curated artstyle and the same constant forced sexual tension and gameplay that keeps stealing from games that were released on god damn Nokias, and that there's no such thing as a "curated mobile app store" that could push high-quality, interesting games because Google and Apple make too much money from the Google Play store and the App Store respectively, has resulted in stagnation so great that it genuinely infuriates me.

    The very concept of not just the "mobile game" but the "mobile phone" could have been fundamentally shifted to be a universally better experience, but all we get is torrid rehashes of concepts introduced in the 2000s with a ****ing Squid Game coat of paint because god forbid it stops printing money, and god forbid publishers don't just steal rights and take over 50% profits for pushing a game because of marketing budgets larger than the GDP of some countries. I have to genuinely ask how the hell mobile games have gotten to the point they have, to the point where advertising is a fundamental gameplay mechanic, and how governing bodies are more concerned with the nearly 40-year-old, long since disproven argument of games supposedly causing kids to commit homicide as opposed to genuinely predatory tactics that are tearing an entire industry apart.

    It's utterly infuriating on a fundamental level, because we had that - back in around the early 2000s, before smartphones took off, and games had to be high-quality and interesting in order to succeed. Hell, even the early smartphone market was at least reasonable. (For a time.) It's genuinely deeply saddening.
    "In the future, all stores will just have screens in place of shelves. You'll order using your online accounts, and can leave without paying!"

    Me waiting for 20 minutes for the ****ing adverts on the store shelves to end so I can have a chance at buying the milk (sacrifices must be made to fulfil the dream of a capitalist utopia. is it worth it? nobody knows. i can feel my life passing me by with every single second i see the face of that corporate mascot. even whilst i'm buying, i'm being sold to. i feel lost, alone, crushed by the everpresent force of money, that beast which controls my every move. and yet, i am powerless to leave this system, for this system has defined me.)

    Hey gamers! If you're listening to Slide from Super Mario 64 for the millionth time, I sure do hope you're doing so correctly - that is, by utilising either the soundtrack feature in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate or Super Mario 3D All-Stars on your physical, genuine, unmodified Nintendo Switch hardware as opposed to committing terrible crimes such as listening to unauthorised rips of the soundtrack on YouTube! If you are, we'll be sending someone to check on you, so just rectify that for us. Remember, it's your duty to report all unauthorised rips! It might just take a few months off your prison sentence.
    Edit: done!

    You ever get that thing where you're hyperfixating on something you already know a lot about due to previous hyperfixations, and then you see like one meme and you're instantly hooked? Just me? Figures.



    Basically, the joke here is that all of the pictured characters are relatively obscure, but also particularly ill-suited to fighting in a traditional sense due to their abilities (Stands.) Whilst there's a lot of Part 4 bias, hey, it looks like fun. So let's go for it!

    CharacterStandPart of OriginDescription
    Gray Fly

    Tower of Grey

    Stardust Crusaders
    Gray Fly is the second of DIO's minions to be sent after the Crusaders, with the first being Kakyoin. Honestly, there's not much to say about him. He was sent to infiltrate a passenger plane which the Crusaders intended to use to fly to Egypt, killing the pilot and resulting in the plane crashing (and ultimately causing their journey to take as long as it did.) He's killed by the newly-saved Kakyoin, however, and isn't seen again.

    I think his moveset would work best if his Tower of Grey could work similarly in concept to Narancia's Aerosmith, though with more of a focus on acting as a puppet fighter in front of him and being focused on landing hits from afar. As a side effect of this, Gray Fly himself utterly buckles when caught in comboes, and works best when fighting from a distance. Furthermore, he's got a pretty low healthbar... but his Stand is incredibly manouverable and fast.
    Toyohiro Kanedaichi

    Super Fly

    Diamond is Unbreakable
    So, Toyohiro is another minor villain from his part (this time being DiU), but in this case, his Stand is even less well-suited to actual combat. Essentially, he controls a transmission tower. I say "controls", but in truth, the Stand just means he's not allowed to leave the tower - or he'll be turned into metal - and can also reflect damage inflicted onto the tower back to the attacker. Toyohiro himself has managed to work with this to some extent, learning how to hop around the tower and awaiting someone else to trap there in his place. I'd imagine that, in order to function canonically, the transmission tower is placed around the arena (summoned as if it were a normal Stand, and maybe with the first image of it as a character intro!) This wouldn't happen if stage hazards are active.

    As such, I think it'd be fun to really extrapolate this by having Toyohiro have the new ability to bring up steel beams that can be used to reflect attacks, as well as being able to surround himself with electrified wires that can be used to attack opponents directly. Toyohiro himself is an incredibly evasive character who focuses mostly on punishing opponents that act too brashly - most notably in the form of his super, which can freeze opponents in the form of metal for a short period, allowing him to land a pretty powerful combo whilst his opponent's helpless. However, his low power means it doesn't take much to knock him out. Notably, particularly powerful attacks can result in one of his masks being knocked off!
    Masato Kinoto

    Cheap Trick

    Diamond is Unbreakable
    Masato Kinoto is unusual amongst the group so far given that he's not really a villain, his Stand - Cheap Trick - is. Essentially, Cheap Trick kills you if someone looks at your back, and then moves to the back of the person who looked in the first place. That's it. It's commonly cited as one of the single worst Stands in the series, and with good reason. So... how exactly do you make this work?

    My central concept here is that, similarly to how other Stands are represented, Masato's moveset is mostly focused on the Cheap Trick arc. Essentially, Masato needs to always face his opponent. However, his super move has him turn around, dying instantly... but Cheap Trick then latches onto the back of the opponent, being able to attack them. Cheap Trick then fights essentially on their own, typically being behind their opponent and being focused on bites and slashes. Oh - and when they die, their death animation has them being carried away by the hands in the Ghost Girl's Alley!
    Shizuka Joestar

    Achtung Baby

    Diamond is Unbreakable
    Our most morally questionable candidate is Shizuka Joestar, the baby with the ability to become invisible - and make other objects invisible. As much as there's a lot of questions to be raised about whether a baby in a fighting game is reasonable, we're going to ignore all of them and just conceptualise their moveset. I'd like to also add - I considered this moveset being focused on Older Joseph carrying her, but felt it'd be funny to just have Shizuka on her own here.

    I'd suggest Shizuka would mostly be a slow-paced fighter with a lot of surprising tools. For example, she'd be able to hop into a stroller and rush forward if needed! Uniquely, she's also able to turn both herself and her opponent invisible, allowing a variety of unique movement tools if you can keep track of your position. Of course, she generally lacks combat power, but her large array of weird scenarios - such as being able to call in the dog that nearly mauls her to rush forward and bite opponents - means she's a cool representative of her arc as opposed to just her.
    Yoshihiro Kira

    Atom Heart Father

    Diamond is Unbreakable
    Yoshihiro is pretty unique in that his actual fight doesn't see him, well, fight all too much - rather, it has him get trapped in a photograph, and then fly around Morioh for a significant period of time making new Stand users by floating around in the wind with a photograph. As such, I'm picturing a pretty much original moveset for Yoshihiro, all things considered. Nonetheless, his ability in question actually has a lot to work with!

    Yoshihiro's "Stand Form", similar to Ghiaccio, alters his body to be inside the photograph. He's significantly more manouverable when in this form, being able to use the Arrow to slash and stab people, and being able to dodge and weave quite a lot - but is significantly weaker. When in his normal form, however, he now has a camera. When used to photograph his opponent, he's able to attack the photograph to attack the opponent, which can only be used once, but does pretty significant damage to them! He's also able to pull objects from inside photographs, such as the knife he attempts to use to kill Josuke.
    Carne

    Notorious B.I.G.

    Vento Aureo
    Carne is a member of La Squadra Executioni, which is basically a team of high-ranking assassins in the employ of the mafia (or Passione.) Uniquely compared to a lot of Stand users, Carne's Stand has an unfortunate side effect - it works much more effectively after the user is dead. (However, a common misconception is that it only functions after Carne's death - this is incorrect, but it's much more powerful when using Carne's grudge against his killer to attack them!)

    As such, I'm picturing that Carne's moveset would be a unique take on the evolution-type seen in characters like New Moon Pucci, though instead of being able to freely activate his Stand... he has to die for it to really work. Carne would have a significantly lower healthbar than many of the other characters in the game, but he has a passable moveset with a main focus on grappling. However, Notorious B.I.G. starts small and grows significantly in size as time passes, growing in power and developing new moves... though Carne uniquely only has one actual super, which involves him being shot in the head and activating his Stand. Uniquely, this means he dies pretty much every round.
    Guccio

    Survivor

    Stone Ocean
    Only one Stand can lay the claim to being referred to directly, in-series, as "the weakest Stand", and that's Survivor. Basically, it has the ability to constantly output 0.07 volts of electricity through bodies of water such as puddles, which interact with people's nervous systems and increase their aggression and pain tolerance. Guccio himself isn't the original user of the Stand, as it was gifted to him by Whitesnake and utilised during the Maximum Security arc.

    As for his actual moveset, Guccio - similar to his actual appearance - works best when hidden away and trying not to get hit. His Stand is unique in that its effect, similar to Carne's second form, increases over time. Guccio himself doesn't have hitstun, meaning he's actionable incredibly quickly after being attacked. As time passes, his opponents will have glowing areas on their bodies, which - if hit by Guccio - do significantly more damage than normal.
    Pork Pie Hat Kid
    (Yes, really)

    Wired

    Steel Ball Run
    Pork Pie Hat Kid is a minor villain from SBR who ends up being one of the first to actually fight against Johnny. His Stand - Wired - basically takes the form of a pair of hooks on a winch attached to his tongue. He's able to shoot them out if needed, as well as applying bait in order to hide the hook. Furthermore, if lowered into water, Wired is able to extend outward from other places using a form of dimensional teleportation.

    As such, Pork Pie Hat Kid's moveset is mostly focused on mid-range pressure with him having a lot of tools that work to slash at opponents - or drag them in for a unique punish. However, his lack of close-up power means he needs to hit them once or twice and then get away fast. He's able to pull out a variety of unique things - such as his bowl of water allowing him to shoot hooks from the ground in front of him, or the bird living in his hat being able to fly forward and then be used to drop hooks downward. His lack of proficiency against zoners and footsies makes him difficult to use effectively, however.
    Tsurugi Higashikata

    Paper Moon King

    JoJolion
    Tsurugi is a lot more effective here than you might think. A JoJolion character and at one point a minor villain, they're the child of Jobin and Mitsuba. Whilst born male, he's raised as a girl, primarily to avoid the wrath of the Rock Disease (which basically turns the firstborns of the Higashikata family into stone unless their fathers die in their place.) As for their ability, Paper Moon King, it allows them to create living origami as well as induce the effects of prosopagnosia in opponents.

    I think it'd be a cool idea to focus on both aspects here. Tsurugi would have a set number of pieces of paper, which they're able to fold and activate similarly to an ammo system. Amongst other things, they could include things like an origami banana, frog, plane, bird, and so forth, resulting in a solid mid-range trapper archetype. However, Tsurugi's supers would use their sensory manipulation to uniquely affect their opponents. One funny concept I had was that for a powerful super, a "copy" of Tsurugi would run at full speed from offscreen into the opponent and deal massive damage... before being revealed to be a bus.

    I spent way too much time on this.
    So, this might seem like a really random point to make, but... I feel like Mario Kart could be represented a lot better in the Smash series than it currently is, which feels like an odd thing to say I'm aware - but it is technically considered a seperate series from the mainline Mario games... with an asterisk. Honestly - bite the bullet. Mario Kart being a fully-fledged "seperate series" isn't going to hurt it too much, plus it gives it some room to breathe! Even if you weren't to include a Mario Kart fighter such as Shyguy, I think there's still a lot of space to expand the "series" somewhat!

    And... yeah, looks like it needs that room. The stage selection for Mario Kart, in my personal opinion, is... disappointing. Whilst the picks made sense given their original times of inclusion - Mario Circuit still making sense today in fairness even if undeniably a bit dated - Figure-8 Circuit just feels a bit bizarre considering it's one of the single most boring Mario Kart tracks out there. The lack of Bowser's Castle in the Mario series is bad enough, but the lack of a Rainbow Road stage in the Mario Kart series feels almost as bizarre.

    And as for music: I think just adding a wider variety of things would be cool! Whether you're pulling from newer stuff like Vancouver Velocity or Sydney Sprint from Tour, or throwing it all the way back to the first game with tracks like the original Donut Plains theme, it'd be awesome to see them included somehow. (Also - a cool feature in my mind could be that when a player is on their last stock, the music changes up... to become a sped-up final lap theme! It'd really help to increase tension, and it's also a great way to represent the original stuff.)
    psb123
    psb123
    In the interest of fairness, Smash Bros has had a Rainbow Road stage before. Mario Kart 7's Rainbow Road was in Smash 3DS.

    Though the fact that it didn't come back in Ultimate means that it's existence doesn't really detract from your point here.

    I do find myself agreeing with you in that Mario Kart has a lot of untapped potential for Smash Bros. I'm just not super bothered by it since that's the case for lots of franchises in Smash and there's only so much time to develop each game.

    About the bit regarding a Mario Kart fighter, I agree that you can't really label a fighter as being one from Mario Kart, especially since even in music Main Mario and Mario Kart have the same series symbol. But depending on what the devs decide to do with palettes I could see a couple Mario characters getting some costumes from Mario Kart Tour.
    KneeOfJustice99
    KneeOfJustice99
    (okay honestly i forgot about the 3ds rainbow road thank you for pointing that out)
    Time for another round of "Knee's Dumbass Smash Concepts", but this time just one.

    I think it'd be really, really great if Echo Fighters could have changes in the form of stats from their contemporaries. Whilst a part of me kind of wants to see a Ryu/Ken situation with most (unique animations, voicelines, a few unique properties and maybe a unique move here and there but built on the same framework), I recognise that... clones aren't meant to be overcomplicated.

    Truth be told, though, I'm moreso thinking about universal stats like ground speed and perhaps height. A good example of this actually happening was that one time when Daisy was shorter than Peach (until that was patched out) and their unique turnip values (which were also patched out, bruh) - having some differences like that would, I imagine, boil down to changing a couple of numbers here and there and making sure it all works, but could make a big difference in how characters feel overall.

    For instance, say Daisy were to be slightly faster than Peach overall, and her hitbox is smaller - but her general damage output is slightly nerfed. Suddenly, even though they have identical movesets, their unique properties - whilst only different in small ways - give them unique niches, with Daisy being better at creating comboes and chasing down opponents whilst Peach is a little more reserved (matching their personalities somewhat!) Even if this would only be a minor set of changes, I still think it'd be a great one to see that wouldn't take as much effort as making entirely new animations or attacks from the ground up... but what do I know, I'm not a Smash developer!
    I'm sorry, we're almost in 2023, why isn't it standard practice in high-school IT classes to teach kids how to reverse image search. Why is it considered more important to know how to use Notepad.
    this might sound like a really weird thing to say, but i feel like there really needs to be more of a mental support network of some kind for people such as influencers and youtubers and the like. i don't want this to be misconstrued, but hear me out: if there's a job of some form where you'd be hardpressed to think of people who haven't, in some way, been negatively affected by the job in question, then surely there should be more support for it.

    like, the role of an influencer - in spite of what grandpa trad. itional might say about it "not being a real job", it comes with a lot of stress and it's really not given enough consideration considering how often people seem to be really badly affected by it. it worries me a little because of the constant content grind and such, and it feels... like a really huge gap in the public consicousness.
    beneath apocalyptic snowflakes from above
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