Kings of Cali, and everything else since Pound 5
Hey all, I'm actually kind of glad my last post got deleted on this topic come to think of it. I had so much more to say that I kind of skipped over. I'm back to writing because it's fun and not trying to cut out anything I think is necessary when it comes to a decent explanation.
With that out of the way, I have some GREAT things to cover since the last time I wrote a big post. As far as motivation goes, I've made a big personal breakthrough I'd love to talk about. I feel amazing every moment I'm thinking of and playing Melee, and honestly, I feel good otherwise too. Motivation isn't enough though, I had to have a way to apply it. So you guys will also get a look into how I prepared for KoC.
The MOST important part of all of this, to me, is that I overcame two big personal barriers to my play at KoC that have hindered me at times, some more than others. These two barriers are being sick and not playing a lot/playing people decently far beneath my skill level(we can call this lack of efficient play).
Alright enough with the preamble, let's get to this thing!
So I'm going to guess that I quit writing large posts after Pound 5. Genesis 2 was by no means my favorite tournament so I'm pretty sure I didn't say much about it publicly haha. At any rate, I'd like to talk about how the losses I have experienced since Genesis 2 have affected me and how they paralleled my life.
Genesis 2 was tough for me. I doubt many remember this now, but EVERYONE was calling me the best player in the world after Pound 5. I'd like to say this didn't go to my head, but that'd be a lie. I was getting an ego, or at least pretty confident, and everyone said something to me about it. I didn't believe them at first, but after how hard I fell when I got destroyed at Genesis 2 I knew it was more than my personal fear of failure that got me. I raged all of the time, I was sad the rest of the time. I couldn't stand to read one internet comment about how I'd suddenly fallen off and how so many people were better than me now, so you can imagine my life wasn't made easier when there were scores of comments online making similar statements. Around the same time, I was having a few serious personal issues that seemed to reflect my smash life perfectly. As I'm pretty sure I've said before, smash has been my personal journey, and now I'll add that whatever happens in my regular life seems to be mirrored in my smash life, and vice versa.
I tried to pick myself back up after Genesis 2 and began focusing on positivity. Some may notice that I made a post a couple weeks before RoM4 talking about what I did to play my best play. This success I saw largely came from a self-help book I had been reading at the time, but it did not give me motivation(partly because I never finished it <.<) beyond some immediate bursts of creativity. These bursts pushed my personal game until I had an amazing day vs Twitch and chronicled exactly how I did it. Sadly, I got overconfident again at that point and wasn't motivated to keep practicing. Mango destroyed me.
My lack of motivation came from still reeling from my previous personal issues as well as my desire to try and play for myself(motivation I discuss in my Smashers Reunion interview). The wounds did heal, but not before Apex2012.
I got sick before Apex2012, and it wasn't even more than a stubborn cold(though it did drain my energy, aggravatingly enough). Still, I felt so terrible about it and the stigma associated with my illnesses that I let it get to my head. I remember telling my parents "well, maybe I'll get 3rd" before I left. I beat myself before I even showed up to the tourney.
Even so, I remember enjoying Melee a lot after I was knocked out and the friendlies were all very fun. I hadn't enjoyed Melee in a while, and it was the beginning of a more positive time for me. My life was picking up in general, and my Melee game became more positive in turn.
Northwest Manifest(that Washington tournament I flew out to in March) was actually really interesting. I wasn't sick at all for that tournament, but it was the tournament where I had the most energy/emotionality I've had in a very long time. Maybe since one of my early tournaments/Pound 4. I remember actually being nervous since I had so many extra thoughts haha. Biologically, I was soooo much healthier! I had been eating less junk food and running every day, usually a couple/3 miles a day. I had lost weight and felt awesome. Mentally, this gave me increased blood flow and the ability to play at better performance for much longer.
*Everyone should always remember mind and body are linked, and if you want success in either area, you would do well to master both aspects of your being!*
So, I'd like to take a minute to step back here and think about what I've said thus far. I haven't blamed only my illnesses for my losses, but I've also had mindset problems and even other biological issues that I had to learn about before proceeding to improve. In all of my 5.5 years of playing this game, I did not think it would still be possible to learn about competing in tournaments and what it takes to succeed in competition, but here I am.
Let's tackle some relevant questions now: How did I solve being sick? Well, you can see that I solved it by being healthier(NWM I was not sick) and keeping a better mindset(I was not sick at RoM4).
How did I solve my mindset issues related to being sick or nerves? Well, based on what I have said so far, it doesn't seem like I have. So I'd think it's fair to say that I hadn't mastered my mindset as well as my body at this post-NWM point in time.
I feel like I had some ups and downs after this point, and I didn't have control of my mind or body going into Zenith. It was just more on a down point for some reason. Not much to say there.
Going deeper into the summer, my mindset of playing for myself had come a little farther. Why does this matter? Well, for me it meant I had really begun to heal from my previous wounds and my other life successes were building me up and making me more confident. I was far from self-sufficient, but I didn't crutch on others as I used to. I believed I was stronger.
Getting into a mindset/motivational change raises this question for me: How does playing for oneself work? There are people who do it, and I wanted to be like them. My main line of thought, courtesy of Cactuar, was that I wanted to play to fulfill my own potential. The idea that I had so much untapped power was interesting to me, and I wanted to see where I could take my game. By not playing for people, I wouldn't have to worry if I was considered the best again, because I'd be the same person to myself and continuing on my own journey. It solves the old mindset problem I had, and feels perfectly honorable.
This felt like a perfect solution for me, but it didn't give me the old fire I used to have leading up to Pound 4/5. Still, I felt good enough and confident enough to begin revamping my game and beat everyone. My sets with Mango proved I had real drive, and in a particularly proud moment for me at some point in one of the matches on FD I bring back my stock deficit vs Mango and take the match because I thought "there's no WAY I can lose this match!!!"
Still, I lost GFs. I feel like I ran out of gas mentally, and I'm guessing that my natural energy levels just weren't high enough anymore since I slacked off again since NWM. Finals that go to last game are extremely draining haha. I also feel like I waste some mental energy doing inputs I don't need to be doing so I have done considerable work since that time cleaning up my game and body.
I'm going to skip Smashers Reunion because there's nothing particularly interesting to discuss there as far as my personal smash journey goes. The basic product of that trip I learned was for travelers to rest frequently and not to freak out about going on a trip LOL. That's just something experience teaches though. I want Armada to represent something for me in smash I just realized, but I don't know what yet. I will think on this and maybe update this section of the post with what I come up with later.
I'd like to stop again here and point out that I have continually made note that my body needs work, but I have yet to show a real solution for my mind. Well, I am very pleased to say I made some wonderful breakthroughs in BOTH areas around the same time at the end of the summer!
Body first. I learned a few things about how food interacts with one's physical state(some may recall me talking a lot about diet around this time) and lost more weight in addition to setting up a regular exercise routine that lasted me from the time this semester started to about a month ago. I learned that fruit was AMAZING and I began ingesting lots of fruits and some vegetables as my only diet for increased energy and weight loss(combined with lots of water of course). I didn't even get hungry since my body adjusted quickly to the diet and my stomach shrunk thanks to my aerobic exercise(running.) I have plenty of work to be done before I can claim much understanding of diet, but the end result here is that I have been doing VERY well for myself physically for the first time since I started playing Melee.
That is, until I got sick at KoC. =(
(Funnily enough, I got sick because I hadn't been sleeping well instead of stress or poor diet/exercise choices....I imagine I'm running out of ways to mess myself up at this point since I will have an immaculate sleep schedule by Apex).
And now, for my VERY happy part of my post! I discovered my mindset solution at the same time I had a very wonderful thing happen for me in my real life(go figure right?!): I got a girlfriend =D
......I just rewrote about 5 different ways to do this part and can't get it right LMAO I've never had such a funny experience before.
The effects of me dating that overlap my real and smash life are that I am happier, more positive, and I care more about others. In my real life, this can only mean increased productivity and better day-to-day interactions. In my Melee world, there is actually more productivity and an almost insatiable desire to think about/play Melee too, WHO KNEW? By being happier, I take each second of life and enjoy it more, consider it more earnestly, and have the clarity of mind to evaluate it more honestly and from multiple perspectives.
So, 2 things need to be addressed at this point: How did I work against that generally accepted theory of "top player falls off after he begins dating," and what did this change about my motivation exactly? Well, the second question will actually answer the first, so let's start there.
My motivation was changed because I felt compelled to play for someone besides myself for the first time in quite a while. I dearly love my girlfriend so I have no issue playing for her as well as myself(and maybe a few others haha). It feels more natural to me. When I give advice I try to always make it so people take what I say and put it into their own words, because they can't use what I give them directly. The knowledge has to seem/be intuitive when someone is taught/learns, it has to be understood in their own way of thinking(in their own words as some might say.)
This all adds up to me playing for other people, just as I used to play when I was improving and doing well. It is my intuitive learning process and method of feeling comfortable. It is not nearly as many people now, but it is enough so that I feel like I can never slack because there is a purpose beyond myself I am playing for now. There is nothing more motivating than that for me, so it feels amazing and I feel ready to take on anyone now!
That all does sound fine and good, but how is it applied directly to my smash game? Well, I have to first tackle the logistic issues of having a girlfriend and going to school full time(luckily I don't have to work since Melee money gets me by). I cannot waste time idly chatting about Melee so often now, but the time I do get for Melee can be insanely productive and easily remembered thanks to how motivated I am now. I actively take notes on any friendlies I have so I never waste time right after I finish my session(s), and I'm back to brainstorming new things to test in each friendly session I commit to in order to not waste my time or the other person's time. I require less time warming up since my brain is more aware now so I don't need to play much to keep stronger muscle memory, and I don't fall for the same tricks as often, keeping matches fresh and challenging. All of these changes happened instantly when I started feeling motivated, I didn't even have to put much effort into thinking them up or maintaining them!
This all adds up to me getting more out of Melee, even though I have much less time for it now! As I will write about in MD later, this is just a maximization of resources(like time or people) I have, and is a lesson everyone desiring to improve should note.
Now then, let's fast forward to the fun part of KoC: my matches with Mango. I had been playing VERY well and then fizzled out after a couple hours of tournament play since my stamina had been greatly reduced by my illness and I felt terrible. I had everything come together for me and because of SLEEP I wasn't going to be able to beat Mango! Mango had also been playing more than me(a fact he had no problem reminding me about frequently leading up to the tournament) so I felt like I had lost any advantage I had over him. That was the mindset I had leading up to WFs, and the result very obviously reflects that.
After my loss to Mango, I went outside and felt probably the worst I had felt after a loss since Genesis 2. I didn't know what to do and was pretty frustrated. Fortunately, Pink Reaper(<333333) gave me a bit of a pep talk. He didn't say a lot but he made me laugh some and joked on Mango a little bit to give me some confidence and I decided that was just going to have to be enough despite how much less I had been playing and how my body was against me. It was at this time I also reminded myself how I had studied Mango intensely in our Impulse matches before this tournament and there was no reason to fear him when I had that surprise on my side so he couldn't just trick me like he tricked everyone else. I got fired up to show everyone Mango was a bunch of Jigglypuff tricks and wasn't going to let anyone down.
If you watch the player cam as I come in and sit down, you can see how serious I look and that is a look I haven't worn so effectively in quite some time. Not very gracefully in my opinion, I manage to overcome my obstacles and beat Mango, the person who always pushed me to get better, in the matchup that was my statistically worst matchup, Falco dittos, with the crowd against me. I am not counterjohnning or anything of the sort, but I am pretty excited about what that victory meant for me. I've never overcome such a disadvantage mid-tournament and pulled out the win before. This showed to me how far I have come, how much I have grown as a person and player, and that preparation(on all fronts outside of just playing the game) is how tournaments are won. I feel that experience will serve me as a reminder that I can come back from any lapse I find myself in and succeed, and hopefully give some inspiration to others who may be struggling personally or striving for success.
I, of course, was pretty happy after my win but couldn't believe it. Easily the best part was sharing in that joy with my girlfriend and everyone else who was happy for me as well. I hope to never make the mistake of shutting others out again as long as I live. Here's to hoping my Melee success and life success and happiness continue to build on themselves!
I cannot wait for Apex by the way.
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I'll summarize the main smash-related improvement points here for convenience:
-body and mind are interrelated, and proper maintenance of those areas will lead to success in all other areas of life you may wish to succeed in
-make all knowledge you take in intuitive, that is to say make it your own knowledge or in your own words
-find what works best to motivate you and do it! build on other people only as necessary.
I really hope you all have enjoyed this read. I certainly enjoyed writing it! Respond with any questions/concerns/criticisms/comments/anything so I can see what people think about me pouring my heart out over here! Thanks for reading!