Wario Wario Wario

I wonder if we'll ever find out the veracity of this.

Message to the legends who pulled off the recent PS1 and PS2 prototype leaks:

The advertisements for Spyro 1, 2, 3, and Enter the Dragonfly are part of a consistent, tragic, and Joker-esque narriative.

In a series of adverts for Spyro 1, a sheep protests the launch of the Spyro game because the reptilian star's anti-mutton actions. In-universe, nobody takes the sheep's cries for action seriously. This establishes that Spyro is a famous star and there is some opposition to his fame.

In the first advert for the second game, Spyro drops by the house of one of his biggest fans. Said fan, a claymation boy named Mikey, abuses Spyro and treats him as a toy. Spyro retaliates with a headbutt and, off-screen, his fire breath. I will not justify either party's actions in this scenario, but it seems that this physical assault, even if in retaliation, against a child had major repercussians on Spyro's image and in turn mental health, as seen in the next advert

In the second game's second advert, we see a different side to the dragon - now tracking down, fat-shaming and murdering snowmen unprovoked. The snowmen are scared of Spyro, everybody knows about his violent actions and he is now feared. The infamy has got to Spyro's head and he's now lashing out against everybody as he has nothing to lose. He spares his second victim's life, but still takes the time to mock him while he runs off screaming.

Then... the finale of the tragic series. Spyro 3's advert depicts Spyro at his utmost despicable, destroying a whole city for no reason - including the fans who are still standing by him after all the controversy. Spyro's career is over and this is his "Want to hear a joke, Murray?" moment.

Finally, we have the epilogue. Entier the Dragonfly's advert makes no vocal mention of Spyro as a game character or celebrity - now he has become the Jack the Ripper of livestock, sneaking into farms and harassing animals and their owners using his new powers. The spotlight was shined away from him as an act of "justice", to "take away his platform" if you will... and now he can do anything he wants without the world batting an eye. Spyro has won and the world has lost.

Yes, I'm looking too deep into this and making stuff up. That's the joke.

Monkey Ball: Touch and Roll is super underrated. The touch screen controls works really well and the levels are right out of 1&2, some literally and some spiritually

On le reddit someone was spreading enbyphobic and fatphobic conspiracy theories about how Kroger ads are trying to "supress sexuality and fitness", I responded explaining there is no conspiracy and it's just poor character design, and the person I responded to had the worst possible comeback: In that comment I said in passing that breasts aren't actually sexual and are really just an extremely common kink, which wasn't my main point, and his only response to my entitre comment was "boobs are nice."

My game analysis side is starting to seep into my recent obsession with Pac-Man 2, and now I'm realising that despite the joke people often parrot about PM2 being that it's unrecognisably distant to the original Pac-Man game, it's actually a game that better represents the soul of the first game than the World games or the current day maze games: a concept so kooky, experimental, and niche - counter-cultural even - that nobody could imagine it working without hindsight or playing the game for themselves.

That's the future I want for the Pac-Man IP: not more platformers or more mazes but rather a platform for the experimental, absurd, and wonderful ideas nobody would want to play without an iconic character on the box-er, download page PNG. Time's-a-changing. I have no ideas what these ideas would be, but that proves my point if anything: make Pac-Man the jack of all trades with an unexpected, bizarre trick at every turn.

You can only pick one.

The minecart that takes away Koala Kong in Crash 1 is the greatest game hero of all time.

Untitled Goose Game: is basically an interactive hit piece on how terrible common fowl are

PETA:

If I was more patient and had better knowledge of maths I'd totally try to find out what percentage of Balan Wonderworld copies were sold to YouTubers.

The best thing about analysing video games is when you have that "eurika!" moment and realise just what makes a game you love so good. Two moments I remember vividly are:

1. Watching this video and upon the first mention of "momentum physics" having every little detail of the Classic Sonic games and why the Modern games seem so far-removed to me start to fall into place in my head at once

and 2. Playing Crash Bandicoot 3, wiggling the joystick a little at a jetpack spot, noticing that Crash is locked to 8 dimensions, and thusly realising that's why Crash games always felt more precise.

People tend to say Sonic was either "always supposed to be like anime" or "turned from Mickey Mouse to Dragon Ball", but as a Classic fan I don't see it either way. I see him as a middle ground between the western and eastern tropes of animation with a tiny bit more Mickey DNA than Goku. I like the idea of Sonic being a malleable IP that can be either edgy or silly depending on the game/show/comic rather than flip-flopping a universal tone every 5-10 years (as long as they don't go too edgy like with the guns and hyperrealistic castles and such) That's what they did early in Sonic's lifespan and we ended up with two of the most beloved game TV adaptations ever.
TBT being liked at all is an acomplishment for a DiC show, let alone being beloved.

If you think the YouTube ad results for "Mario Pillow" were weird in that picture, you should see them now. Some memelords have been tagging dumb pillows as "Mario" on RedBubble it seems.

It's really weird how low the viewcount on Zendaya is Meechee is. When it first came out it was trending and there were news articles about it, but it only has 1M views to this day. Either this is some WB marketing conspiracy (kinda like how the surprised Pikachu meme was theorised to be a marketing stunt for Detective Pikachu), or it was really popular on some other site.

I think the wording of the hashtag "#BringBackNationalDex" was the main reason a lot of people, myself included, opposed it. The NatDex was one of the smallest issues with SwSh, if it even is an issue, but the hashtag generalised and simplified it down to a distaste of the one element of SwSh that was absolutely inevitable at some point. The big fuss about trees didn't help either.

Just realised everything in New Pokemon Snap is named after beans in reference to "Jack and Beans".

Is this a meme or excert from a lift-the-flap book for infants?

I keep on forgetting that Mew has hands.

While I'm quite strictly against the idea of Nintendo Kart, I wouldn't be opposed to turning Mario Tennis or Golf into a crossover - though I'd have different standards for what characters could get in compared to Smash (cartoony aesthetic and oddball/obscure characters would be favoured, but moveset or historical relevance is no longer a factor at all and popularity is barely a factor)

Bide your time, lie and wait

Post these images to scare a SiIvaGunner fan.

Contains a few no no words and a bit of Kiki's Krazy Kuest blood.

I seriously cannot understand how anyone can find anything salvagable in Sonic 06 (other than the music of course), that being said there is a game that I can apply the "revolutionary on paper" mentality to:

Bubsy 3D is actually a tragic miracle of game development. It started production a year after Mario 64 did with no reference as to what that game (or others like Croc or Crash Bandicoot) looked like. Despite being created with an 11-or-so person team and no other 3D platformers as a guide except maybe Jumping Flash, Bubsy 3D actually is a rather sophisticated 3D platformer for its time and dev background, in some cases more so than Crash or Mario 64.

-Power-ups, not featured in either Mario or Crash (discounting Aku Aku crates and the wing/metal caps, the prior being a basic extra hit/invincibility and the latter two being extremely situational)

-Co-op mode similar in nature to what would later be done in Mario Galaxy 2, and arguably conceptually better with the reticle player being able to swap with player 1 by shooting Bubsy, as well as an ammo system.

-The ability to use collectables as projectiles - Pac-Man World did something similar later into the PS1's lifespan but Bubsy did a better job of it IMO given that you have to press a button when close to an atom rather than stockpiling them. Also Pac-Man World had a really strange angle to the throw - but that's irrelevant since Pac-Man World is overall a different type of platformer level layout-wise than Bubsy 3D so the throw angles can't be fairly compaired all things considered.

Bubsy 3D is not a good game in the slightest, but damn it has some great ideas and is an amazing acomplishment given it's development circumstances.

Add metrosexual Max Goof to Kingdom Hearts, cowards.

If I could use a PC right now, I'd go out and download a bunch of NES games and reskin them with popular characters, upload the reskins to ROM hack sites, then wait a few decades to see if they end up in any bootlegs. That would be an amazing acomplishment for me.

Finding out the correct spelling is "disconfirmed" is like biting the the apple from the Garden of Eden - it's such haunting knowledge that haunts you every time you go into any Smash discussion.

The most important characters to come from failed consoles

Wii U: Inklings
Jaguar: Rayman
3DO: Gex
Ouya: Duck Game ducks
Pippin: The flower thing on UmJammer Lammy's shirt
Lynx: Chip McCallahan
Sega Saturn: The Tails Doll

Assuming Monkey Ball: Banana Mania is really Monkey Ball Retro, I love the idea of "Mania" becoming a go-to word for Sega games that restore series to their roots.

How is this legal? Even capitalists have to draw a line SOMEWHERE, right?

If AoStH continued after Sonic 3's release, Knuckles would absolutely have a Jamacian accent done by a white guy.

They better bring back the Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUUUN-UUN-UUN jungle. I remember being distraught as a kid when they stopped using that at the end of shows.

Ahh yes, the worst held secret in gaming since Mario + Rabbids. Can't wait either way, assuming this is "Retro".

-the UFOs look nothing like the UFOs from Chicken Little
-either Mr. Enter missed, or Buck Cluck is tiny
-He isn't holding the bat correctly
-I can't tell if Chicken Little is dead on the side of the road, or a plushie being held by Buck
-If the prior is true, Mr. Enter is portraying his rantsona as a child murderer
-Even if that's a plushie, Mr. Enter is still portraying his rantsona as a murderer

To be completely honest Mr. Enter's old thumbnails aren't that bad, they just have some questionable thematic and design choices...

except the Norm of the North one, that one's just bad.

Everybody wants a Tetris stage in Smash but we all know if that was a real stage it'd be seen by most as one of the worst in the game.

Logan Kart 8 (an intentionally bad meme clone of Mario Kart) has a legitimately great soundtrack. I highly recommend giving it a listen. Two favourites of mine are "Miserable Rainy Stage" and "Reflected Light Boulevard".

I'm pretty sure the only reason NES Pro Wrestling has never been represented in Smash is because of Kin Corn Karn.

I watched the Scientifically Accurate Sonic video back when it first came out and I still don't know who this is supposed to be.

The world if TJ Davis and Richard Jacques still did music for Sonic games.


They would've been perfect for Colours and Mania especially.