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KneeOfJustice99

KneeOfJustice99

Smash Champion 20 From the building from smash mouth's astro lounge
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  • KneeOfJustice99
    Concept for a horror one-shot (or maybe some sort of Twilight Zone-esque anthology series)

    A sketch comedy is set up and takes place, with the characters, setting, and situation being played completely straight, just like you'd see on any other sketch show. As opposed to cutting away upon the joke's end, however, the fictional world that we've gotten peek into continues. Our main characters return home, the world keeps turning, and yet everything is fundamentally and thoroughly wrong. The world itself runs on the rules and suggestions set up and enforced by what a sketch comedy would need, and thus other aspects of the world are utterly half-baked, edging along the boundary between recognisable and unfamiliar.

    The main character begins to slowly realise, throughout this time, that something is fundamentally wrong with the world that they're in.

    They're then cut off by a second, deliberately contrived punchline.

    We never get to see how the realisation affects them.
    KneeOfJustice99
    I'm aware that my insane musings on obscurity have been rambling and scarcely comprehensible messes in the past but something occurred to me today that I think is an interesting thought to consider:

    There is a non-zero chance that the objectively best video game in human history - past, present or future - exists right now... but nobody's ever played it aside from the creator, because it's buried amongst millions of games in the same genre on itch.io.
    KneeOfJustice99
    One thing I really like in comics is when a character (especially a villain) that's typically seen by people as a joke is taken seriously - not because of some arbitrary power-up or some weird recontextualisation, but purely putting their own gimmick to use in a unique and interesting way to showcase that they're not someone to mess with.

    This is actually part of the reason I think the Suicide Squad/Task Force X is a really cool part of DC's universe and something I kind of wish Marvel had some kind of equivalent to - it's an opportunity to really showcase the fact that these villains are indeed competent, despite us only really ever seeing them get beat in most comics.

    Captain Boomerang is a good example of this - it's easy to look at "man throwing boomerangs at literally the god of speed" as a joke of sorts, but the Suicide Squad run actually showcasing how effective he is in combat (despite still being written as an asshole, but one you just can't help but like) is really cool.

    Lowkey, I wish some of Marvel's catalogue had a similar treatment somehow. Obviously a direct copy of the Suicide Squad wouldn't work, and I don't think the Thunderbolts is really well-suited to giving obscure villains a limelight, but something akin to that sort of thing in concept would be really cool.
    KneeOfJustice99
    Hot Injustice take - I feel like Watchmen is not a good fit AT ALL for the game. However - if you really did feel the need to include Watchmen characters in some way or another, including some of their Charlton inspirations would work well. I mean, characters like Captain Atom or the Question would be really unique inclusions on their own. Also, it kind of goes against Watchmen's entire thing. Not to be snobby. But still. Even with that aside, someone like Captain Atom being included would honestly be a lot of fun, and then adding a Doctor Manhattan deluxe costume wouldn't feel too out of the ordinary (especially if you were to take inspiration from Pax Americana in Captain Atom's characterisation.)
    KneeOfJustice99
    Why did they do my guy MODOK like that.

    Almost everything about MODOK in the entire film feels like it was played for nothing more than a joke, and it gets me because when you stop to think about it, MODOK is unique in that - yes he's a floating head in a funny chair - but he's also a Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing. This dude is serious. Like, he's a high-up member of AIM, one of the more important groups in the world of Marvel overall, and yet he's constantly played for laughs because "haha funny head".

    (Yes, MODOK works well as a joke in some cases, but having him be a joke and nothing more feels a bit... underwhelming. Iron Man making jokes about him in the comics works because MODOK is actually still a threat. Ant-Man doing the same in Quantumania doesn't really work because he's literally never even considered a threat.)

    I feel like Quantumania's interpretation of MODOK could have worked in some ways - the backstory as to how and why he looks like that is a solid idea - but there's so much that's wrong with it, and it's not just the CGI. (Though, two things: one, it'd be nice if his face were less horizontally stretched and there was more skin to either side which'd make him look less like he was stretched in MS Paint, and two, it'd be nice if there was more visual feedback for when his weapons retract.) Just his whole character arc, his basic design, the fact that he's always smiling like the bald guy from Alvin and the Chipmunks when the mask comes off (THE FACT THAT, ONCE AGAIN, THE MASK ALWAYS COMES OFF).

    I'm not a professional filmwriter and I'm not making millions on this sort of thing, so my opinion means nothing here, but I think it'd have been really cool to have leaned into the body horror aspect of MODOK's design. Him being absolutely enraged at the fact that Scott essentially disfigured him and going after him as a result as opposed to just being a half-baked secondary antagonist would make him feel a lot more personal, and it'd be really neat if his heel-face turn at the end of the film wasn't allied with the heroes, but instead creating a third insurgent force allied against Kang and the heroes.

    I suppose it's fine that he dies, and I'll be the first to admit that MODOK was never going to be easy to transfer into live action. Even so, there's a lot of aspects to both his character and design that just add up to make him... kind of disappointing. Weirdly, Marvel's Avengers does a GREAT job of indicating what MODOK could look like in a realistic artstyle - it leans into the body horror aspect in a solid way, and it also actually makes him feel threatening as opposed to looking like a smiling egg.

    But that's just me. I know I'm probably sounding like a whiny ***** about all of this because I genuinely do get that it's difficult to interpret a character like MODOK into live-action, and I'll admit I probably couldn't do much better, but man... it's hard not to feel like he's got so much more potential.
    KneeOfJustice99
    "A long, long time ago, the Earth was ruled by dinosaurs. They were big, so not a lot of people went around hassling 'em. Actually, no people went around hassling 'em - cuz there weren't any people yet, just the first tiny mammals. Basically, life was good. Then, something happened - a giant meteorite struck the Earth. Goodbye dinosaurs! But what if the dinosaurs weren't all destroyed? What if the impact of that meteor created a parallel dimension where the dinosaurs continued to thrive and evolve into intelligent, vicious, and aggressive beings... just like us? And hey, what if they found a way back?"
    - The Super Mario Bros. Movie
    KneeOfJustice99
    hey does anyone remember that time when jfk joked about wanting to smoke weed so one of his assistants brought six joints into the white house and after smoking three and feeling nothing he picks up a fourth and suddenly the paranoia of the russians attacking whilst the president's high on weed sets in and he swore off it for life following that moment
    KneeOfJustice99
    I know people get really irate about the argument as to whether Smash is a fighting game, but I'm going to take it one step further:

    I am thinking of a game in which you and an opponent battle for supremacy in a combo-based 1v1 scenario, wherein your actions as one player can actively be to the detriment of the opponent, and where the entire screen is basically your healthbar which - uniquely - you need to keep as low as possible.

    Or, you know. Tetris.
    KneeOfJustice99
    THOUGHT EXPERIMENT: Remember how in Mario Kart 64, there's the Royal Raceway track, which allows you to drive outside Peach's Castle? Well... say, purely hypothetically, you could go inside. Would you - using Mario Kart gameplay - be able to beat Super Mario 64? Note that whilst the primary experiment is centred around Mario Kart 64, the track returned in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe - so it's fine to use that as a basis too, if you want.

    My theory on it is that you would either get stuck on the stairs or in front of the paintings, but if your hop was high enough, the main problem would be beating King Bob-Omb because unless you could just drive into him you'd need to drive around Bob-Omb Battlefield to actually find items to hit him with. (Also, the swinging bridge seems like it'd be a nightmare.)
    • Like
    Reactions: Internal Frickface, Linkmain-maybe, Pokelego999 and 5 others
    Champion of Hyrule
    Champion of Hyrule
    I don’t think it’s possible without a jump (although you might be able to do some jumps with 64 because it kinda has a jump button) but assuming you still go flying when you hit lava you could probably beat a few things from lethal lava land
    Janx_uwu
    Janx_uwu
    In MK7 you could actually go inside...and there aren't any paintings, so even if you could in 64 it probably woudn't mean anything.
    MBRedboy31
    MBRedboy31
    If we pretend that the stairs in SM64 act like ramps (which is often how it works in Mario Kart, but not how it works with most stairs in SM64, with the stairs leading up to the upper part of the castle entrance room being a notable exception) you could attempt to Mushroom boost up the tiny set of stairs leading up to the platform in front of the BoB painting in order to jump into said painting, although IDK if it would have enough distance.

    If we base this on SM64DS instead of SM64, King Bob-Omb in the level's first star mission can be damaged with other Bob-Ombs, otherwise he is unbeatable since you have no way to grab him while driving a kart.

    An interesting alternative idea is to enter the castle through the underwater door in the castle moat. Normally you can't enter this door while swimming underwater (without using a TAS-only trick in original SM64 or a different and much easier trick in SM64DS,) but, MK8/MK8DX karts are able to drive underwater without swimming, so you logically can enter that door to go straight to the castle's basement level. However, you'd be stuck in that room, so doing so is basically pointless.
    KneeOfJustice99
    who the **** approved devo 2.0 i just wanna talk



    seriously i just wanna talk who at disney decided this was a good idea
    KneeOfJustice99
    Not to jump on the bandwagon despite that being exactly what I'm doing but shhhh, I feel like I'd enjoy Funko Pops more if they were more... interesting? I've never personally found much interest in collectable figurines of any kind, and the unified and soulless design that Funko Pops use is kind of a downer when you consider some of the actual characters they have going for them due to licensing deals. Coupled with this bizarre sense of them feeling less like actual collectables and more like investments (don't open it!!!! it'll be worth like $24.03 in 27 years!!!!!!!) which I suppose is partially from a variety of things from marketing to packaging design to even the general recption to them, the entire ecosystem is just weirdly unappealing to me. They feel and look cheap, but in an expensive way.

    Even aside from the questionable nature of the company and so forth, whilst I can see the appeal, I genuinely don't understand why they've become as popular as they have... aside from just being an investment. They feel weirdly soulless, and their designs don't help matters much. It's not really for me, but I wouldn't hate on people for enjoying them - I just don't really understand it.
    KneeOfJustice99
    you ever have that fun thing where you have a project due in like seven hours which you've finished long in advance and you're checking over but because your browser's crashed you can only recover the ****ing placeholder version from weeks ago

    i'm actually seething right now
    KneeOfJustice99
    holy hecking bingle its jamiroquai 2 what the balls :troll:

    KneeOfJustice99
    I know I talk about the ethics of piracy and copyright a lot, to the point where it might get quite boring (and if that is the case, I'm really sorry!), but a scenario happened today when I was at uni that I feel is pretty relevant.

    Myself and a couple of others were playing some casual Ultimate whilst we were in the student lounge and waiting for our period to start. Items on, 3 players, free for all chaos. Hardly what you'd see at EVO. Anyways, we were playing on Wrecking Crew when one of the people there (let's call them "Chris", he's nice :)) asked, "Who's that pink guy?"

    Turns out he'd summoned Sukapon from an Assist Trophy, and he was doing his thing. Y'know, tossing his head around, spinning, you get the idea. So I respond by saying that it's Sukapon from Joy Mech Fight, pretty cool NES fighting game that Nintendo made themselves - all the characters in it are a bit like Rayman.

    He then asked me that million dollar question - "Sounds cool! Might check it out some time - where can I play it?"

    Let's consider the options that "Chris" has here. Bear in mind that I'm writing from the UK - the NES wasn't as popular here as it was in the States, with SEGA being a prominent force, as well as a lot of the PC market.
    1. The original Famicom release. If you want to "do things properly", by all means, go ahead. It's the console the game was designed for, after all. Except, an NES isn't going to do - it was a Japan-exclusive game, after all, so aside from having to inport the cartridge you'll also need to either import a Famicom (as well as, probably, a Japanese television from the era) or a 60-to-72 pin adaptor. Bear in mind that the cart on it's own can be found used on eBay for around £15 if you're looking in the right place, though coming from Japan, shipping can be expensive. Note that this option won't financially support Nintendo for their work, by the way.

    2. Acquire a Japanese Wii that already has the game installed. Nintendo thankfully did a great job with the Virtual Console service on the Wii, though Joy Mech Fight's exclusivity to Japanese markets unfortunately remained in place. Of course, the Wii Shop has been closed for years at this point, so you'll need to find a console with the game already installed. Again, this option won't financially support Nintendo in any way.

    3. Acquire a Japanese 3DS or Wii U, and get on the eShop - fast. The 3DS and Wii U eShops also both released the game in Japanese markets, but remember - the 3DS and Wii U are both region-locked, and the eShop on both platforms closes on Monday. Unless you can be damn-well certain that you've got all of the preliminary knowledge and technology to run them such as cables or adaptors, as well as a solid shipping service, you might stand a chance. You have five days. Good luck! Oh, and this only supports Nintendo for the next five days. After that - nope!

    4. Create a new Nintendo account (this time a Japanese one) and then purchase a subscription to the Nintendo Switch Online service. Luckily for Ethan, this is the easiest option. Sure, you're going to have to spend a minimum of an extra £3.49 for a month of access to the game (on top of the money you've already been spending on NSO for your actual account) but it's at least not in the Expansion Pack. It's a lot of effort, but it's your easiest option so far. Oh, and remember to keep the online service topped up if you ever want to go back to the game, by the way. However, this does allow you to financially compensate Nintendo for their work, which is a plus.
    Also, all four listed options are in Japanese. Call us uncultured, but none of us who were present speak it.

    Now, before I continue, a little note on conversational etiquette. If someone asks you how to go about performing an action or otherwise "doing" something, you're typically expected to give them the least complicated correct answer. Admittedly, being autistic, this doesn't come naturally to me, but it's something I've come to understand. For instance, if someone asks how to work a microwave, you wouldn't read off the entire manual at them, you'd gesture toward what buttons to press and bam - you're done.

    With this in mind, I implore you take a wild shot in the dark as to why I responded to "Ethan"'s query with an unlisted fifth option, which would allow him to play the game on pretty much any of his devices, in English, with relatively minimal setup, and with a wide variety of options for controls, visuals, and other aspects of gameplay - that's also recieving active and consistent updates and support, possesses the functionality to play the entire NES library including the releases by third parties like Capcom or Konami, and (though this isn't really a part of my criticism) is free. Yes, Joy Mech Fight is a pretty specific example, I'm aware, but it's the one I'm using.

    I have to wonder, are Nintendo worried that their own library will cannibalise their current output?
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