Wario Wario Wario

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 4, 2022

The amount of vitriol I've seen aimed at a one off cartoon villain from 17 years ago who's worst crime was licking icing off a cake will always be baffling. Like, the way wannabe-Mr. Enters talk about him you'd think he broke a hole in the wall or something at best, but no - he left crisps on the floor and wore dirty boots indoors.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 4, 2022

I really dislike the idea of Monika in Smash - not only is adding a character from a game about teenage suicide in poor taste, but it'd also suck if they added a character created by an ex-PMDT without actually taking mechanical cues from PM.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 3, 2022

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 3, 2022

TikTok Hercules will either be the objective best or objective worst LA remake. No inbetween.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 3, 2022

"Hmm, this game is low profile; really old; and has a weird concept, I wonder how much it'd cost to get the license to make a new-goddammit it's owned by the Godzilla guys" - me, 5 minutes ago, researching 'Mecarobot Golf'

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 3, 2022

The environments in Sonic Frontiers look really bad - not in the sense of "bad Sonic environments" or "realistic games = bad", but moreso just bad. The "real world" is too barren and the cyberspace levels are too cluttered. I'm 99.9% sure it's an intentional juxtaposition but that still doesn't excuse looking hideous IMO. I can appreciate the environments of games like 06 and Shadow despite not thinking they suit a rubberhose-inspired furry with a monoeye, but these wouldn't work even with a character design suited for them.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 3, 2022

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 2, 2022

I've finally played Fractured Furry Tales, and TBH people seriously exaggerate how bad it is - it's not good by any means, but it's also one of the stronger Bubsy offerings. Bubsy controls better in it than CEOTFK, but out-of-nowhere enemies are a bigger problem than in it too. Though, if Bubsy was slower, like a Mega Man X sort of heavy feel, possibly with a projectile or some other attack that isn't his standard bop, I would be willing to call it a good or at least decent game - the game's level layouts seem well fit for that sort of physics.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 2, 2022

VB Wario Land is so good that IMO it alone gives the Virtual Boy a better game library than the N64 and GBC.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 2, 2022

The dark and edgy tone of Sparks of Hope REALLY puts me off. I'm sure it's a great game but I can't look past the damn neon-haired sword Rabbid and tragic Rabbid backstories.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 2, 2022

I feel like a NASB "story mode" should be structured like Slap City's - basically Melee adventure, but every character has their own route and dialogue, you can save, and the mode teaches you their mechanics.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 2, 2022

I like how this Smash Bros. website is the only place where you can call Smash Bros. a dumpster fire of a game series and not get crucified.

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 2, 2022

There was a problem fetching the tweet

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 1, 2022

90s cartoon writers, vegans, film casting agencies, and bodybuilders fighting over who can be more fatphobic

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 1, 2022

Pirahna Plant is a great regular character pick, but a horrible substitute for a "special surprise character".

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 1, 2022

oh my god is sakurai actually defending $60 price tags

Wario Wario Wario · Nov 1, 2022

"Nostalgia pandering is so stupid! Make something original!"
Brother in Christ you just called Super Smash Bros. Ultimate the "objective greatest game of all time"

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 31, 2022

Imagine how epic it'd be if Chuck E. Cheese and FNaF joined Drifting Dimensions at the same time

Also, funnily enough, I was planning Chuck E. as my submission for the "solo wheels" job

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 31, 2022

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 30, 2022

deepest voice in human history AMAZON MUSIC ONE TAKE FEATURING FORTNITE

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 30, 2022

If Sylvester and Tweety were in Multiversus, I feel they should be more hit & run fighters than the zoners Tom & Jerry are - with the player being able to make Tweety fly away from Sylvester, and then have Sylvester track him down either when he is cornered or a foe is zoning around Tweety as a teleport-style move.

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 30, 2022

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 29, 2022

Game journalism websites will publish opinion pieces titled "How white supremacy paved the roots for gaming tribalism" then immediately publish an article titled "INFERIOR MARIO TENNIS IMPOSTER SHREK BADMINTON PLAYER COUNT DWINDLES TO 20 IN A MONTH"

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 29, 2022

I wonder what it's like to be someone used to GameFAQs/Smash Twitter/any popular Smash discord or subreddit/e.t.c. and visit Smashboards to immediately be greeted by me posting about how Smash should reveal every character in the span of 7 seconds or Smash 64 was the only Smash game with a good aesthetic. There's definetly a wider overton window here than any other Smash community I know of.

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 29, 2022

Smash gives every single individual character the marketing budget of a blockbuster movie and people somehow can't figure out why fans get extremely mad over specific choices.

(Yes, I am aware that vehemont Smash roster discourse dates back to Brawl - that's my point really, that they made no attempt to quell such discourse when it began to pop up, not that they didn't magically predict such discourse would exist)

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 29, 2022

I wish I came up with the pun "Agri Video Game Nerd" when the Nintendo Direct farming meme went around.

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 29, 2022

Jake Kaufman's pre-Shovel Knight gamography reads like a mid-2010s era "Bee Shrek Test in the House" meme

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 29, 2022

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 28, 2022

just found out colgate lasagna was a (likely) hoax so i edited real teeth onto garfield for nothing

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 28, 2022

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 28, 2022

While I don't want either, I'd much prefer a Chip N' Dale-esque "hey look, Mario just said damn and beat up Cloud!" Smash movie over one that takes itself even 10% as seriously as SSE did.

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 28, 2022

I'm honestly not all too comfortable with one of Batman's tracks in DriDim being a mental hospital, but it is an iconic locale and the track that was voted in, so I guess I should respect that.

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 28, 2022

i have been clickbaited

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 28, 2022

So, apparently SSBU's offline input delay is partially due to the lighting system?

Great, more reasons to hate the desaturated look.

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 28, 2022

Gamers calling Pitfall and Space Invaders "Atari games", Final Fantasy 7 and Crash Bandicoot "Sony games", and Banjo-Kazooie and Mega Man "Nintendo games".

Gamers when grandma calls the Xbox "a Game Boy".

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 27, 2022

I don't get why people see "making a platform fighter better than Smash" as some unthinkable Hurculean trial, even from a casual "characters are characters" perspective.

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 27, 2022

Just got 5 blue jays, 6 jackdaws, 3 ravens, 2 magpies, 2 rooks, and a single chough.

(I'll be fine though, I've had worse common colds.)

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 27, 2022

Of all my arguments for Microsoft buying Rare being a net positive over a Nintendo buyout - Nintendo's unfamiliarity with online being ill fit with SoT and KI, the possibility of a DK/Banjo-game-making sweatshop, Rare Replay vs. 3D All-Stars, Tropical Freeze not existing. NoJ's disinterest in Conker, so on - I think the most effective one is be that we would've gotten Donkey Kong Coconut Crackers and the gigachad known as Mr. Pants would've remained a phased-out website mascot.

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 27, 2022

thinking about when kids wb made a cute "pikachu friendship playlist!" to promote detective pikachu and opened it with ryan reynolds' wacky comedy skit about neglecting his family as method acting

Wario Wario Wario · Oct 27, 2022

I had a dream where I was invited to a United Nations Discord server between all the world leaders, and Joe Biden was spaming this GIF in the #memes channel to piss off Ankhundzada.

Wario Wario Wario

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