KneeOfJustice99

i have a problem
someone dropped the ****ing ship of theseus on my yard and i'm trying to put it on ebay
do i list it as "new" or "used"

it's so funny to me that people are like "nooo we need immense gravitational force to create time dilation" when a lot of people have a time dilation device in their home already. it's called a washing machine. have you ever put a washing machine on a ten minute wash and come back twenty minutes later and it's still not done? yeah.

whether this implies that washing machines inherently cause time dilation in themselves due to possessing black holes within (to suck away all the dirt, of course) or that they induce time dilation through some yet-unseen method is up to you. i'm not a washingmachineologist. yet

me waking up in the middle of the night to discover that my bedroom has in fact been replaced with a 36,000 square foot factory floor (my house turned into a werehouse overnight)

Why did people wait this long to tell me that EA licensed a ton of their music to different TV broadcasters and producers in the 2000s, resulting in Command & Conquer music turning up in Top Gear

only one week left until we only have one moon again
i hope she doesn't get lonely up there

I'm told it's quite common for slasher villains to be real perfectionists. They're all about the execution, you see.

...I'll see myself out.

is it not insane to anyone else that like the single biggest video game ever is literally two entirely seperate games stapled together that don't even have functional parity and have a laundry list of asanine differences to the point where two people can own copies of the same game that aren't even remotely compatible but they are for all intents and purposes marketed as the exact same game albeit running on completely seperate codebases

that feels absolutely wild to me

if you were immediately teleported to like 2007 or something what would you do
i would post a reddit ama stating that i am from 2024 just for ****s and giggles just to see what people ask and how they respond lol hopefully it wouldn't mess with time too much

hospital fundraising idea (only works in america):

1. become an ambulance driver
2. drive into someone (important: make sure they're still alive)
3. take them to hospital for the injuries they now have
4. charge them thousands of dollars for the service
5. if they sue just guilt trip them by explaining how vital you are to the community
6. rinse and repeat as needed (or get more ambulances involved)

i might have singlehandedly found a way to subsidise the entire medicine industry

concept; demakes but for movies. oh wow you like the cgi or whatever in the new spider-man film? cool, we're making a demake that randomly reuses footage from different 70s-era spidey films while all being filmed with either period-accurate practical effects or hand-drawn stuff to the point where no way home looks like a tokusatsu. all of the same cast and locations and whatnot but we film on 35mm film reels and for some inexplicable reason all of the technology like phones is period-accurate to the mid-70s while the cars in the street are still modern.

this will unironically be disney's big new strat in the 2030s

kinda wild to think that with the whole mogai movement back on tumblr, and a lot of the blogs for it being closed, abandoned, or nuked from the platform entirely, there is a genuinely likely possibility that there are "lost media genders"

it's honestly still kinda wild to me that when m2 was making the reprint archives on the 3ds they looked at power drift and thought "wow the bonus stages where you can race an f-14 tomcat are fun, let's essentially completely retool the game into sega all stars before sega all stars" and then just replaced all of the characters and music tracks with other sega stuff because why not. on top of already making the game more suitable for the stereoscopic 3d display the 3ds used. wild.

i also can't get over how funny of a pick a dralinflore was

number of multiversus characters who have officially endorsed a presidential candidate in the 2024 presidential election; one (and counting)

one thing i think would be really cool would be some kinda crossover game with a single video game company but all the characters are in designs inspired by lil rubber keshi gomu gures in appearance and mostly inspired by their older art overall.

idk. a part of me would love to go for that sort of "toyetic" style in a handheld smash title compared to the larger scale "big event" on a home console (which i still think was a hella missed opportunity for sm4sh honestly!!) but also you could totally do cool things with it just as some kind of gashapon rpg, a silly character-based puzzle game akin to something like heroes of sokoban, or even just an extended shenmue gashapon thing where you can look at the lil goobers by awkwardly moving your hand around in a 3d space. and like sure the new 2d zelda titles have a doll-like look but you could probably totally do something silly and fun with this kinda thing. i'm not even sure what

yes this may have been inspired by my recent discovery of literally hundreds of keshi figures that were 3d scanned and uploaded to archive.org recently but look at the funny doll man he's so precious

halloweezer

can't wait for the inevitable 2024 exodus of literally every long-form video essayist from youtube because nintendo music app means nintendo have a justification to go absolutely nuclear on copyright enforcement of their music resulting in able sisters singlehandedly obliterating an entire genre of content on the platform

fun fact; in wii play's tanks (or "wii tanks"), the layouts for each arena actually change based on whether your wii is set to 4:3 or 16:9. this is your reminder that wii tanks is peak game design

the british government has approached the good people of the united kingdom for suggestions on how to go about saving our nhs and amongst a vast number of suggestions including "build hs2 so we can get to hospitals quicker", "run a wetherspoons in every hospital" and "replace ambulance sirens with healthy eating advice" we also have this gem



unfortunately, the health secretary (the right honourable member for ilford north) has personally denied that he'll be doing this to save our nhs and considers the suggestion "silly". i think this is a clear sign he is against sick people

Random 2am musing; ask your teachers to get lava lamps.

Might sound like a really random tidbit, but lava lamps are actually great as a form of visual stimulation for neurodiverse people, especially when talking about education. I guess it's no secret that a ton of people here are autistic; but insisting on maintaining flawless eye contact during a lesson over the course of literal hours sounds like it'd be hell for anyone.

Inb4 "but then people won't focus on the teacher!!", people would just find themselves staring at something else (like the ceiling or a computer screen across the room) anyway, so actually just getting a lava lamp for that specific reason helps students appear more focused to external observers or whatever. Plus, again, there's a difference between "listening to someone" and "looking like you're listening to someone". (A difference that seems to be lost on people for some reason.)

Plus, lava lamps are pretty cool for setting a less clinical mood. Let's be real, if you had a teacher that would go and set up a lava lamp in every classroom they teach in, they'd be the Cool Teacher™, right?

life update: my younger siblings have entirely managed to cover the back of my bedroom door in obscene quantities of hand soap. this means war.

i know social media is slowly in the process of swirling around the proverbial drain but like it's genuinely mindmelting to get sent something from one of those slop accounts from a friend and it's going on about how they just came across this guy pouring milk on himself in the subway that they just recorded today and it's footage from the ****ing eric andre show from like eight years ago

Happy Earth, Wind and Fire Day!

...Did you remember?

One thing I think doesn't get discussed about Mario enough is actually the role he served (that is, within Nintendo) throughout the early 80s, and a little less toward the end of the decade. A lot of people think of the various appearances of his in retroactively-"canon" games like the Donkey Kong games, Wrecking Crew, and a couple of Game & Watch titles, plus games like Golf, Alleyway and Punch-Out!!, as little more than cameos; but I think it goes a little further than that.

The idea of Mario as an "everyman" has always been popular, but I think that specifically led to him being a really good blank slate of sorts to just... slot into any role you needed. Happen to need someone to referee your boxing match, to pilot your strange Arkanoid-esque spaceship, to light and detonate bombs, to fend off eggplants in a demolition site, or to play golf with? Mario can just be sort of... slotted into those roles.

It's interesting, because I feel like that almost gives him a feeling loosely akin to characters featured in "rubberhose" animation of the 20s up to about the 40s - malleable beyond just a couple of iconic elements, and capable of being changed and altered as needed to slot into different roles. After all, so long as he's got his iconic moustache and hat, it's Mario! And, obviously, Luigi's an easy enough Player 2 to slot in too.

Over time - especially following the success of Super Mario Bros. - it's as though Mario himself was a little more cemented into a specific role, and by the time we get to Super Mario Bros. 3, we're seeing the end of what people think of as "cameos" mostly because Mario and his world really have a quite distinct identity of their own. That being said... it's interesting to look back at a time like this and think about what it might mean for the concept of a "videogame mascot".

Not sure why I felt like sharing this. It just feels like a neat (albeit underdiscussed!) little element of Mario's characterisation from his early years, which... a small part of me thinks could maybe be well-suited with other characters. Like I mentioned, I think Mario's world (and his sheer popularity, at this point) really don't suit him well to the everyman role of a "stock" character in any kind of setting you might need, but it's still a neat part of his history.

I have Ultra Primate Sphere on the brain again. Help.

Really random game design tidbit, but I think one of the most underdiscussed elements of genuinely brilliant and intuitive game design in the entire series is something featured in almost all of the games as something most people would describe as pretty much iconic to the franchise, despite probably not consciously thinking about it unless pointed out.


The "spinning intro" that the SMB games use to introduce their stages are actually one of the best design elements in the entire series because they actually fulfil several really useful functions in terms of game design... such as;

• At its best, it shows at a glance what the stage looks like - giving a view of particular "lines", obstacles, or hazards to consider before even playing the game (which might be difficult to see when the camera moves behind your monkey.)
  • This is especially useful when you consider the series' arcade roots! Within mere seconds, you can have a good understanding of the stage and its hazards without having to be walked through it.
• It also implies very clearly that the stage is "seperate" to the background, implying and reinforcing the control scheme of the game even before you engage in the very first tutorial level.
• And, beyond that, it immediately gives you the implication of no "hidden information", which immediately showcases to the player at little more than a glance that this game is a pure test of skill (and cements that with reinforcement.)

Obviously there's some stages that don't work great with this kind of thing; SMB2's Switch Inferno level is, beyond just being awful from a design and gameplay standpoint, really not helped with this, and I think the stylised choice of how Banana Mania did this entire showcase (like picrel!) by darkening the screen and putting giant words over the stages really didn't help the concept.

Idk, I think it's interesting to be able to look more critically at things you usually wouldn't notice, and occasionally peeling back the layers of decisions that seem so basic can lend a neat little glance at the developers' intentions.

tl;dr i like it when the primate sphere do spinny

there is a small, chaotic part of me that wants to deliberately add a red cross to something like a medkit in a game i end up working on, purely so i can add "removed geneva convention violation" in the patchnotes

I sometimes find myself "uncovering" little tidbits about something I already found cool, and it just sends me down a strange little spiral of conceptualising some of the potential behind it. A good example of this is the concept of DS Download Play - I've spoken about it here before now, but I've always found it to be one of the most fascinating (and underdiscussed!) little parts of Nintendo's history.

But... I didn't know before today (or at least, forgot) that it was also used as a method of showcasing demos with the use of specialised DS kiosks. The idea behind that was to allow you to bring your DS to a game store, and then check out the demos on your own hardware, without having to use a dedicated system that the store itself would upkeep (beyond the kiosk.) That's so damn cool.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I'm genuinely kind of shocked that the Download Play concept hasn't been explored more, especially in the smartphone market. (Maybe there's some sort of patent preventing it?) After all, a lot of the initial limitations that existed for Download Play really aren't that much of an issue nowadays - such as the DS only having 4MB of RAM compared to a lot of modern Android devices having 8GB - and, more prominently, the (relative) issue of ubiquity.

Then again, with a lot of smaller-scale handhelds like the Playdate or some of the Retroid-adjacents fairly recently coming to prominence, it springs to mind as a potential avenue for exploration in those kinds of markets.

shoutout to puzzle games with jungle/dnb inspired soundtracks. rare, but very much appreciated

did you know doki doki literature club was marketed as super mario literature club 2 in us markets? for more information, google "bloody mary" three times at 3am

shoutout to the super monkey ball skyboxes for being really cool and like. not exactly "abstract" but still really weird. kind of unfitting for an actual game's world of some kind but really fitting for the gameplay and the general feel and all coming together to just give everything a strange sensation of "right" that doesn't quite work. idk. it's neat.



really liking this one (clock tower factory from smb2). whole ass medieval city in the background. why? idk. just move your monkey around. lol

I found MartianSnake 's challenge pretty interesting, but decided to take it up to eleven with a 102-spot wheel to pick from. Here's the wheel, if you want it. My results ended up being... Data East, Sun Corporation, and Taito. With that in mind;


I tried to get a decent variety of characters from all kinds of sources and genres (with some minor choices like having a dedicated fighting game character in each one), but the nature of these companies meant a lot of my choices trended to the older side of things.

sicko mode or mo bamba?

In hindsight, probably the funniest thing about watching footage from The Jeremy Kyle Show nowadays isn't actually the content of the show, but actually the fact that Jeremy entirely unironically does the Hannibal Buress bit of awkwardly hovering around the set after bringing his guests in

There's never enough chairs after he's brought his guests in (and better yet, they keep changing the number of chairs as needed, but still never bring enough for him to be sat down too), so after bringing in the second guest to spice things up, he sort of just shambles around the set, sometimes sitting down on the steps going up to his stage, and occasionally shuffling up the stairs to hide amongst the audience like a bored child

I have to imagine it was intended as making Kyle seem "seperate" to the guests as a "mediator" (or, more likely, a class signifier), but looking at older episodes nowadays as cameramen try and scramble to zoom in or out or pivot to wherever he's wandered off to at any given moment is pretty funny

Funnier than the working class being exploited for television at least

you ever have that thing where it's late at night and you remember a mistake you made

i am now thinking about that time several years ago when i attempted to cook an omelette but forgot to omelette the eggs so i just ended up with like eight fried eggs and the kitchen was literally uninhabitable for days because the air was like 80% egg

they should totally bring back the subgenre of games in which you're a sphere or ball of some kind and need to get around while taking into account your momentum. apparently people call it "marble games" but some of them aren't really marbles (such as a monkey ball or a kirby.)

super metroid ball when? nintendo are cowards

If you've ever felt self-conscious about procrastinating, don't worry about it too much. The Eiffel Tower was supposed to be taken down about 130 years ago and France still haven't gotten around to it.

imagine being an avant-garde slovenian rock and roll artist in the 1980s with reasonable success, only to become wildly popular in the 2010s because i eat, jon, it's what i do like that must be wild

Did you know? It's possible to stack your Mario & Wario cartridge on top of the cartridge for Mario the Plumber 3 in order to play a combined experience with extra content, Mario the Plumber 3 and Wario!

Additionally, did you know that George Michael composed some of the music for Mario the Plumber 3, including the tracks used in Festival Day World, Lava Pit World, and Landing Pad World? It's for this reason that those tracks were replaced in the Mario Origins collection.

it's kinda wild to me to think that nuclear reactors, probably one of the most complicated machines we've ever built, are in essence steam engines. like it's almost like it kind of comes full circle in a weird way, in that steam engines were one of the earliest forays into industrialisation we ever did and yet it's still with us. idk. it's pretty cool.

squidward when he is suddenly shocked by an event taking place in front of him

by the way, speaking of ryu, did you know it's (canonically) his 60th birthday today?
happy birthday ryu from streets