Hi! Huge sword-hater here. I think they're all ******* and should go play soul calibuer or however the **** you spell that horrible game title. I actuially have a distaste for weapons in general unless your character naturally creates them.
They do seem to take up a quarter of the roster though so that's where it probably comes from.
Oh also forgot
. So that's 14.
As far as this quote.... There are a whopping TWENTY-THREE characters with swords. That's more characters than most fighting games total and is ONE-THIRD of the roster, PLUS THEY HAVE DISJOINTED HITBOXES AND ARE OVERALL TOO EASY TO PLAY AND BE DECENT WITH. M<y brother picked up Ultimate on release and beat myself with Chrom more than 50% of the time and I've been playing this game since the 64 days. So **** swords. I also hate anime and think its for losers. On top of all of that, they seem to have a bro-ish attitude and a too-cool-for-school archetype which draws the most douchey players to main them (There are some exceptions)
P.S. I also think the Pokemon are overall too good. If you put them and the swords together, it's LITERALLY HALF THE GAME. I like diversity. Fight me.
1. Elf Marth (Link) Actually not that annoying. Got huge buffs in this game though and can oppress the **** out of you with bombs and edgeguard. Really didn't need these buffs imho, since disjoints are already OP, but mayube I got a soft-spot for Link. Also kills craaaaazy early.
2. Puffball Marth (Kirby) Don't even pretend his up b is not abused and isn't a sword. So is his FS.
3. Goddess Marth (Zelda) On a technicality, yes, she has an attack that uses a sword. But I would still like to be clear the devs LOVE swords.
4. Marth (Marth) Tipper mechanic, real fast, decent recovery, not overtly easy to master, but still too easy to play imo
5. Girl Marth (Lucina) Everything above only even EASIER.
6. Young Elf Marth (Young Link) Pretty damn annoying. Fast, multiple projectiles like Big Daddy Link and only downside is not as many kill confirms. The one and only sword character I MIGHT try one day if ever I see less than 100 online a day and isn't sick of him.
7. Gerudo Marth (Ganondorf) Literally the most buffed character ever. Kills at like 45% with his upsmash, so dumb, can't escape his grab, so unnecessary what was done to him.
8. Fiery Marth (Roy) Arguably the best swordsman, has decent recovery and reflect, very versatile, no too much in the downside department. Oh yeah, of course not, he's got a sword.
9. Hipster Marth (Chrom) So a buttload of them online during launch until I literally got so sick of crushing them one after the other I changed my tag to "ChromBlows". I think he is far and away the fastest and most noob friendly with an abominable and easily gimpable recovery, but now that I hardly see people playing him online, I don't get to laugh as much. Oh well. Chrom blows.
10. Puff Knight Marth (Meta Knight) Boy was he ever nerfed. Maybe the one sword character I can't say is that noob friendly or good OR I even mind fighting. He may have some hidden tech yet, but it doesn't seem that way. Probably gets drunk with Bayo on the weekends.
11. Angel Marth (Pit) I don't care what you say, those are ****ing swords! The most annoying thing about him is that side b that out-prioritizes EVERY GODDAMN MOVE. So stupid. Great recovery, but I don't seem him mained locally at all.
12. Evil Angel Marth (Dark Pit) I know the slight differences between him and his melanin defficient protege, but I fight both the same way. Same.
13. Ogre Marth (Ike) A good Ike can really make you put your tongue in the blender. He out-prioritizes ALOT but is a little balanced in his slow frame data and speed. That up b though is sooooo goddamn oppressive.
14. Cartoon Elf Marth (Toon Link) Not represented much, does more damage and has good projectiles too, Honestly I feel the Links are most balanced, but I may be biased.
15. Frog Marth (Greninja) A reaaallly scary character in the skilled pro's hands. Otherwise, they usually get stomped online. Good ledgeguarding and projectiles. The teleport has to be watched out for.
16. Surfer Marth (Shulk) High skill ceiling here. Can be a total pain if mastered or a joke. He's close to Link in balance, the only move I hate is (like many characters) his side b. Too much knockback.
17. Spends way too much time on his hair and not learning English Marth (Cloud) I despise everything about him. Literally every other match I play against someone online is a Cloud main, and the only way I can guarantee a win is to use G&W, bc he destroys Cloud by eating blade beam and vomiting oil in his face and then inevitably ledgetrapping Cloud to his ultimate doom. BUT... I do not believe he was nerfed at all. Even though his limit only lasts 15 secs, he gets it back so fast it doesn't matter. His moves are all too strong, he's too fast, he takes priority on almost all his tilts and smash attacks and he HAS A ****ING PROJECTILE. Not OP at all. Ya ok. Totally nerfed.
18. Dragon Marth (Corrin) Pretty well-rounded but really weak if you stay above her. Just seems overall worse in terms of sword options.
19. Self-Identifying Marth (Mii Swordfighter) Has a really good confirm and some custom options, not relied on by the meta very heavily at the moment,,, But might be good later, who knows?
20.-28. PokeMarths (Pikachu, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Mewtwo, Squirtle, Ivysaur, Charizard, Lucario, Incineroar) I dare anyone here to tell me every single one of these aren't a ****ing nuisance as well. I'm not going into details on each, but why isn't there ONE BAD POKEMON??? Just ONE???
Even though this is mostly a joke rant, my biggest gripe with ultimate is its lack of diversity. If you removed swords and non-humans, this is who is left:
Mario
Luigi
Peach/Daisy
Ness/Lucas
Captain Falcon
Wario
Snake (named after an animal though lol)
Villager
Little Mac
Robin
Ryu/Ken
Simon/Richter
Only 12 characters out of 76 are human and don't use swords. WTF.
P.S. I'm not counting echoes like Peach/Daisy Ryu/Ken and Ness/Lucas twice, but I listed them. Somethings WRONG people.
EDIT: Now that I think about it, SNAKE ISN'T HUMAN!!!! There you have it, there are OFFICIALLY ELEVEN CHARACTERS who are human/don't use swords. THAT'S EFFED UP PAPA SAKURAI