so i went through my posts cause i thought i answered that already, but i realized i never really did, and since i'm mad at solo queue cause of jerk ***es and dumb *****es (yay league lmao), i'll answer you
it's just not fun for me anymore, i can't find any fun in playing it, it's just not there. i thought going to the EC would help, and it did, but it also made me realize just screw it. playing friendlies with darkdragoon was the most fun i had with smash in sooooooooooo many months (except my IC's vs connor's falco on flatzone, that **** was serious and sooooooo much fun). the tournies just made me super mad after my loses.
well, vs jman i was disappointed in such a simple mistake, not really angry. after losing to tec0, i just wanted to chuck my control across the room as hard as i could. not his fault at all (well maybe cause he played sheik, what a *****!!!) (<3), but i was just disappointed with myself knowing there was no reason for the game to go like that. i've never had that type of anger problems. it's not abnormal to get mad after a loss, especially if you feel you were playing bad, but for the first 4+ years i was playing, never ever felt like throwing my control. recently (like ever since pound 5) i've been getting more and more mad after most every loss. i've never wanted to through my controller, but it just started to be a thought i had. i knew something was wrong when i was getting to that point.
so that tourney kinda sucked for fun after being that mad. after that is when i played dark dragoon and had the most fun i've had in such a long time. then i went to the mass tourney.... and that was just a trainwreck. me and darc had a lot of fun in teams (ergo us going to team at apex) but singles was just a mess. i just couldn't play up to the standard i had for myself (not having my controller cause i left it in NY sucked but even still). after that tourney i was even more mad then before, but at the same time just dead. i went outside and walked around for like 5+ min in the cold dark night just thinking about stuff. i just knew something was wrong. i enjoy the people, and i enjoy the competition, but just something wasn't right.
so i go home with mafia and stay with him for a couple days. i try playing melee with him and well..... it just didn't go well. i felt nothing. i couldn't try. i could not force myself to try to beat him and lost many matches (maybe he could tell you what it was like). ever since then, i have never wanted to play melee once. zhu has forced me to a couple times, and it's just not fun. it's more painful than anything (granted playing zhu is a chore regardless but it's never been just unfun).
and that's where i am now. i love the community, wish i could hang with most everyone on a regular basis, but just can't find the fun in the smash part of it. debating if i wanna enter apex singles. i know i'm going to be rusty and i'm sure i could make it far (not as far as i can and get mad etc), but will it be fun/worth it??
*if you read anything this is the i guess simplest explination*
i really stopped practicing last school year (so about a year ago). i had the drive to practice tech skill/learn a spacie at the beginning of the year, but eventually that died and i just pracited peach stuff. then slowly lost interest in that. then pound happened and i had drive for like 2 days after, then stopped caring again. then i found league of legends over spring break (late march/early april) and that filled the void that was missing from smash. i feel the competition with that game, the drive, and i got to play with friends mostly so it's fun. since then, i only smashed at tournies, did poorly, got mad cause i'm competitive but was out of practice. slowly lost interest, then the above happened, and now i'm here.
i guess the super tl;dr is i found a new game, but everything started long before i even played league
this is like long and disorganized cause i talked to mango and kept checking facebook lol but whatever. hopefully this answers questions
god knows why i even took the time to write all this out. i guess just cause people keep asking, and i tell them basically this. now it's all in one place