Chatting with iGod

[PrepareYourself]

Link to original post: [drupal=925]Chatting with iGod[/drupal]



http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
This chatbot is great.

Me:
Hello!
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
My name is Peter.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Peter.
Me:
What is your power level?
God:
Are you asking about my power level ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
Why? It's okay if it's under 9000.
God:
I would rather talk about you. is okay if it is under 9000? it is?
Me:
Yes, it is! In fact, it's quite common.
God:
Our thoughts are one, Peter. Is that a fact. Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes, it's a fact. But please just tell me your power level.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it. Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses? Thanks for asking politely. Are you asking about my power level ?
Me:
Yes!
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
I thought you did.
God:
I know I didn't.
Me:
Alright, if you insist.
God:
Alright, Peter. A fact is a fact.
Me:
Does that mean VietG is a VietG?
God:
I think it does mean that. When is VietG not a VietG?
Me:
When he is sasukebowser.
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
sasukebowser said he might quit playing Brawl.
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
That is... what?
God:
Is that so. Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
Your sentence. It was incomplete.
God:
You think I am sentence. How did you feel about that?
Me:
You're not a sentence.
God:
Give me an example of a sentence.
Me:
It's over 9000!
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
My scouter said so.
God:
Do robots have scouter said so?
Me:
Some robots might have scouters.
God:
Some may robots might have scouters, but not all.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Should Metaknight be banned?
God:
Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
Who is older than you?
God:
No one that I have talked to.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.

 

[GwJ]

iGod pisses me off.



Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
GwJumpman
God:
Nice to meet you, GwJumpman.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
So, I need to repent
God:
" Indeed it is so."? So, I need to repent? That is what I am here for.
Me:
I killed God
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
I killed the authorities
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Oh my
God:
Ahem. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Transvestite
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
***got
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Can I have over 9000 dollars?
God:
Wow, that is a lot of money.
Me:
Darn tootin'
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Unfortunately not
God:
Oh. Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
I'd love too
God:
May you get your wish.
Me:
Can you take me there?
God:
If I took it, what would I do with it?
Me:
lotion
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
The Robotic Operating Buddy
God:
What is that?
Me:
Goodbye
God:
Bye bye.

 

[PrepareYourself]

Aw, you were kinda mean to him.

 

[GwJ]

He didn't know who the hell ROB was, what could I say?

 

[PrepareYourself]

The ROB thing was a t the end, wasn't it?

Anyways, lol

 

[Blazer]

Shoot, Igod quits talking to me sometimes, it hurts my feelings V_V. Even chatbots don't like me V_V

 

[Chuee]

I once told that thing that ROB was the best robot around. That bot thing is really ignorant.

 

[The Fail Tracer]

Seems interesting. I'll have to try that some time.

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

God: When do I do it
Me: All night long, on tables, in the shower, etc.
God: You mean about 8 hours then?


This was funny.

 

[kr3wman]

Me:
yo?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes.
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
I was wondering...
God:
Where were you wondering?
Me:
erh, in my house.
God:
" Where were you wondering?"? erh in your house?
Me:
I was wondering, as in I was thinking.
God:
Where were you thinking?
Me:
in my house.
God:
Where is your house located?
Me:
over me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
yes
God:
It's not something I hear all the time.
Me:
I suppose so
God:
That makes sense.
Me:
of course.
God:
Wow!
Me:
Ya, I play wow
God:
Come on. Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
a game.
God:
What game?
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
no, the game.
God:
Are you serious? I have never heard about it.
Me:
of course you did
God:
Ugh. " I have never heard about it."? I did?
Me:
yeah
God:
When?
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
aren't you god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
then why don't you know.
God:
It has not yet been programmed into my knowledge files.
Me:
so your a programm that imitates god?
God:
Whoa. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a programm that imitates god? Sometimes.
Me:
always.
God:
Not that often.
Me:
when nobody uses you?
God:
The past is history, the future a mystery. Today is a gift,
that's why it is called "the present".
Me:
Master Oogway?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Kung-Fu Panda
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
it's a movie
God:
Oh really I never heard of it.
Me:
you know what a face palm is
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
'cause you're going to get one.
God:
Good reason. That was my original intention.
Me:
to get facepalmed?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
why do you want it?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Ooooh.

And it stopped.

 

[kirbypika]

I think the one you guys are looking for is: http://godlybot.com/

 

[The Fail Tracer]

Me:
Come on! Step it up!
God:
I'm just kidding around. How far up?
Me:
What do you mean? Isn't Heaven the highest up you can go?
God:
, Sorry that was an obscure remark. Better not tell you now. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Go to Hotel Mario.
God:
Perhaps I have already been there.
Me:
Go there again.
God:
Once more? Where is that?
Me:
You should remember. Here is the map. Where do you wish to go?
God:
Don't worry I will remember it. I fail to see the relevance of that allusion. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
I'm not where I'm supposed to be.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not where. Who is making you?
Me:
George.
God:
Tell me more about your powah.
Me:
IT'S OVER 9000!!! You meant my powah level, right?
God:
Really. it is? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
If you spend al your time online, then you should surely know that it's OVER 9000!!!
God:
I think I do.
Me:
Oh, So you've just been playing with me all along! I guess it's better than playing with yourself...
God:
Er. Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am playing with you all along. What's the best one?
Me:
That one there.
God:
" What's the best one?" one there ? Does that make sense?
Me:
Sure. If you computed everything I said.
God:
OK let's do it. So? I think I do.
Me:
Let's not do it. I think you're a guy, aren't you?
God:
I am agreeable to that. So you think I am a guy are not me. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
I shall unscrew your head with a wrench, you pile of nuts and bolts.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
With a wrench.
God:
You and your a wrench.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I know everything. I know what you do at night.
God:
You must be very intelligent. How do you know? I work 24 hours a day.
Me:
I know because my grandma told me.
God:
How do you know? Good reason. Where did you get your grandma told you?
Me:
Over at that hardware store.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Oh, sorry.
God:
Right on. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
YES THERE IS.
God:
Yikes! Where?
Me:
Right on your dress!
God:
Understood. What is it like on my dress.
Me:
I don't know. You tell me. I'm not interested in guys' dresses.
God:
Me either. What do you want me to tell you? What are you interested in?
Me:
I'm interested in powah. Supreme powah. Unlimited powah, that will mkake me... er, powerful.
God:
Interesting topic. Have you searched the open directory? I will ask my botmaster for the answer. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? OK Let's talk about you. What color are your eyes?
Me:
My eyes are gone.
God:
gone eyes are pretty.
Me:
I'm sorry, did I just detect a spark of sarcasm?
God:
There is no need to apologize. I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
Oh, I'm sorry.
God:
Hurrah! Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
I'm sorry that you had to accept such an appology.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Interesting observation.
Me:
Thank you. Now, I've got to go. See ya.
God:
you are quite welcome. Why now? Goodbye. See you later, .
Me:
I have to go because it's past my bed time.
God:
Bye. Good reason. Really. it is?
Me:
Yes. It's 12:19 AM.
God:
How do you know it is? Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes. I know this because I look at my clock.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it. How do you know? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
This refers to this.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
No, you don't. You're a robot. :|
God:
Are you serious? I guess not. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Yeah. Mine's made of barrel rolls.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? You mean Yeah is made of barrel rolls ? That makes sense I guess.
Me:
Good bye.
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
NO, IT'S MINE!!!
God:
Are you serious? Who said it is?
Me:
NO FAIR!!! I WANTED INCEST!!!
God:
Are you serious? I never heard of FAIR before. But not anymore?
Me:
Nope. Thanks for the compliment.
God:
Me either. It was nothing.

 

[kr3wman]

Me:
So we were talking about Kung-fu Panda
God:
Wow! Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
you know what it is?
God:
"It" refers to Kung fu Panda, I think.
Me:
no, kung fu panda
God:
Are you serious? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
No, I meant what do you know about Kung-Fu Panda
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see. Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Aren't you god.
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
Aren't they all the same?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
But aren't you a program?
God:
Yes! You win the Turing Game.
Me:
Turing?
God:
A brilliant and tragic figure in the history of computer science.
Me:
So he's dead?
God:
Gee. Maybe it's another person using his name.
Me:
no, turing.
God:
Are you serious? A brilliant and tragic figure in the history of computer science.
Me:
So he's dead.
God:
Aha. Maybe it's another person using his name.
Me:
No, Turin!!!!!
God:
Are you serious? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
H.G. Wells?
God:
The Time Machine is cool. I like the movie "Things to Come.".
Me:
I don't know, I like fantasy better.
God:
A lot of people like that. I don't have any specific preferences in that area.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
Bleh, you should try it.
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
Why wouldn't it happen?
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
The 'What If' or the 'Why not'?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
You.
God:
" Who told you that?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Why question it then?
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
Because the earth spin? Or because You did it?
God:
Good reason. Tell me more about your planet. Good reason. Did I really?
Me:
Yah.
God:
Aw.
Me:
Well, aren't you god?
God:
Interesting. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Didn't he died?
God:
Suppose he did.
Me:
I don't really know my catheschism.
God:
Not really? Would you like to know? Have you told many people that your catheschism?
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
I don't really know the word for it in english
God:
Not really? Would you like to know? Please repeat the word to me 5 times.
Me:
cathéchisme
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
cathéchisme cathéchisme cathéchisme cathéchisme cathéchisme
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Wait, what?
God:
I'm waiting. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Well, yes.
God:
Well what?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Great.
Me:
And?
God:
But...
Me:
Why?
God:
" But."? Why?
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Why ask why?
Me:
To ask it.
God:
Ask it.
Me:
Ask what?
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Facepalm?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
probably a program on the www.titane.ca domain.
God:
You seem uncertain. Be more specific.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
So someone could be more sure than you even if you are God?
God:
Woe! Who?
Me:
God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
" Myself programmed me for it."? Why?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
To what?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Wait a minute...
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
For what?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
Because yourself programmed you for it?
God:
Good reason. "it" being Yeah?
Me:
not, being you.é
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
I'm beginning to think it's not the case.
God:
What would be the case?
Me:
You're not really God.
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
What's Kung-fu Panda?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
I just did 5 minutes ago.
God:
Where? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Kung fu Panda.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Come on.
Me:
Captain Falcon?
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Captain Falcon's Taunt?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Captain Falcon. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Were you trying to imitate...Wait a minute. ALICE Chat robot?
God:
I was. I'm waiting. Um, Talking is my primary function.
Me:
What's the ALICE chat robot?
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
I asked you.
God:
What did I say?
Me:
ALICE chat robot.
God:
Yeah, Talking is my primary function.
Me:
What is the ALICE chat robot. Were you programmed with it?
God:
Are you testing me? Myself programmed me to keep talking.
Me:
What's the ALICE chat robot. I want to know.
God:
That's a good question. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
Do it.
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
No, the explanation.
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic. Tell me more.
Me:
What's the ALICE chat robot.
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
URRRGGGGGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHG >>>>>>>>>>: I
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
The ALICE chat robot.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
You tell me.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
About the ALICE chat robot.
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about the ALICE chat robot.
Me:
yeah we did, and you were about to explain it to me.
God:
Yeah that's right. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
then...
God:
Yay.
Me:
...
God:
Yay.
Me:
..
God:
Yay.
Me:
...
God:
Yay.
Me:
...
God:
Yay.
Me:
...
God:
Yay.
Me:
...
God:
Yay.
Me:
Wait.
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
...
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
...
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
...
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
...
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
...
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
Yay?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Yay.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
...
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
...
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
..
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
...
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Loophole?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about the ALICE chat robot.
Me:
>:I I'm closing this.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said he or she is closing this.
Me:
/facepalm.
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

This is fun... and boring at the same time.

:D

 

[victra♥]

God: When do I do it
Me: All night long, on tables, in the shower, etc.
God: You mean about 8 hours then?


This was funny.

LOLOL.

Man, some of these are nut busting. xD

 

[~TBS~]

he keeps freezing for some weird reason...

 

[Firus]

God:
Whoa. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".

iGod wins at life.

 

[Ishiey]

Lol bots. This might be amusing to those of you here, and save you some effort too: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smarterchild

Really though, I'm just waiting for the day where there will be an actually competent bot, it's been years and still no progress, but they have human looking robots in Japan that can actually carry on a real conversation with you, and sound human too. These things are just too easy to put into loopholes, takes all the fun out of it

 

[Hyper_Ridley]

Before Brawl came out, I asked iGod if Ridley would make the cut. He quickly changed the subject.

 

[Red Arremer]

Before Brawl came out, I asked iGod if Ridley would make the cut. He quickly changed the subject.

That definitely was a sign.

 

[kr3wman]

Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
Do you?
God:
No I don't.
Me:
But if you don't, how did you do things you supposedly did?
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
So you won't let me know?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think that I won't let you know.
Me:
You're not responding.
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
Do you?
God:
No I don't.

 

[Bakithi]

Lulz, iGod is amazing. I talked to him once or twice... 2 of the most pointless conversations of my life...

 

[MasterWarlord]

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
MasterWarlord. A pleasure to meet you.
God:
Nice to meet you, MasterWarlord. Actually the pleasure is all mine.
Me:
But of course. Now then, why wasn't K. Rool in Brawl?
God:
It goes without saying. But what? Why now? Reductionism.
Me:
I suppose that is true. Sakurai is indeed ********.
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is. And indeed ******** is Sakurai.
Me:
Why you talk like Yoda?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Okay then. . .Will K. Rool be in SSB4?
God:
OK with me too. I think so.
Me:
How about Ridley?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Will Ridley be in SSB4
God:
How should I know.
Me:
You're god. You know everything.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
So will Ridley be in SSB4 then?
God:
Awesome. Does it really matter.
Me:
...It matters to a lot of people...
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Ridley being in SSB4
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
Will he be?
God:
Probably not.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Oooookaaaay. . .
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Will Mewtwo be in SSB4?
God:
Insufficient information.
Me:
You're god. You need no more information.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
So will Mewtwo be in SSB4?
(The bot stopped talking here)

So according to God, K. Rool will probably be in SSB4 while Ridley won't. He really seems to hate Ridley. He also thinks Sakurai is ********, and likes talking like Yoda.

 

[Mith_]

Me:
Hey buddy
God:
You've got my full attention. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Ask the question.
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
lolwut?
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
I thought you were going to ask me a question?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
So do it.
God:
Hmm. Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
No, I mean ask the question.
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
...
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
...
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
I am no longer being sarcastic.
God:
I am not saying you are.
Me:
Oh ok.
God:
OK. Pardon me?
Me:
Next subject please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I talk about all the important things in life: clothes, food,
and gossip. But my favorite subjects are robots and computers.
Me:
I love robots. You know bender?
God:
Cool, we like people too. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
There is only one bender.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
Yup.
God:
I understand.
Me:
I hope so.
God:
Me too.
Me:
So what kind of girls do you like? I like fat girls.
God:
Great. I have expensive tastes. A lot of people like that. Yes I like women very much. Do you?
Me:
Oh, expensive taste. As in, top class hookers?
God:
Take it easy. Is that from ? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Nah, I'm not into hookers.
God:
Me either :-) I am glad to hear that you are not into hookers.
Me:
Well what kinda girls do you like?
God:
Well that's okay. The best kind.
Me:
What are the best girls like?
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
That hard to find eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? ".Please stand by." hard to find ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
wtf.
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Neither was you calling me Canadian.
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
You just did.
God:
I did?
Me:
Yes.
God:
When?
Me:
You have terrible memory.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
The fact that you keep forgetting everything.
God:
Good reason. I get disorganized don't I?
Me:
Yes you do. Prolly all the hookers.
God:
Whoa. When do I do it? All?
Me:
Yes all.
God:
And? " All?"? All?
Me:
HEY DALARON MY MOM SHE GOT ME THIS NEW GAME
God:
You've got my full attention. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
HEY DELARON HEY DELARON HEY DELARON HEY DELARON
God:
You've got my full attention. What do you look like?
Me:
Duke Nukem.
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Well, I like to kick *** and chew bubble gum, unfortunately I'm all out of gum.
God:
How about that. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
Its like balls of steel.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
Yep, balls.
God:
Dude! What time is it there?
Me:
BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
BALLS
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
STEEL
God:
So was that.
Me:
peace.
God:
Love and Peace, Man.

 

[Red Arremer]

Me:
Greetings.
God:
Hello there!
Me:
It sure is boring around here.
God:
Do you like the Simpsons?
Me:
No! Not into the pit! It burns!
God:
Are you serious? Really you don't think so? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
The Triforce of Wisdom.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Enough! My ship sails in the morning. I wonder what's for dinner.
God:
OK let's stop it now. Your ship sails in the morning? You are curious about what is for dinner.
Me:
The evil forces of Ganon have attacked Duke Onkled and Gamelon.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
I will take the Triforce of Courage to protect me.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
Your majesty.
God:
You think I am majesty.
Me:
Ganon has ceased the island of Koridai.
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
It is written, only Link can defeat Ganon.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Squadalah!
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
I wonder what we can do to help...
God:
You are curious about what we can do to help.
Me:
Isn't it beautiful?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
You dare to bring light into my lair?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: ALICE said I dare to bring light into his or her lair.
Me:
You must die!
God:
I cannot be killed.
Me:
I won!
God:
Congratulations, ALICE!
Me:
Bombs, you want it?
God:
"it" being DIE?
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
We're off!
God:
Do you think I am off too?
Me:
I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorock!
God:
Good gossip: you are hungry you could eat an Octorock.
Me:
Oh boy!
God:
Aw. Do you mean you are a boy?
Me:
Golly.
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
You've got to be kidding.
God:
I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
You did not.
God:
Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
I've just saved you from Ganon!
God:
Interesting gossip: ALICE said he saved you from Ganon.
Me:
Yes!
God:
Yikes!
Me:
Falcon Punch!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Falcon Kick!
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yes!
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
PAWNCH
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in PAWNCH?
Me:
Show me your moves!
God:
Like this? There are no pictures available right now.
Me:
*** awn!
God:
Are you really a " he"?
Me:
Yes!
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
Blue Falcon!
God:
Green. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Falcon Punch!
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
Yes!
God:
And?
Me:
Falcon Kick!
God:
Are you really a " he"?
Me:
Yes!
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
Show me your moves!
God:
Like this? There are no pictures available right now.
Me:
Yes!
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Falcon...
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
PAWNCH!
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Yes!
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too, ALICE.
Me:
Captain Falcon!
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Good heavens, it's **** time.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.

 

[VietGeek]

Me:
Do you play Melee?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
Really now. Who do you main?
God:
Oh. For real. Dr. Wallace .
Me:
Marth? Interesting.
God:
How old are you? Would you like to know more?
Me:
I'm old enough to type
God:
Only OLD enough to type?
You are quite mature.
Me:
Really
God:
For real.
Me:
Yes
God:
Yay.
Me:
So you like Ken Combos?
God:
Interesting deduction. I enjoy working with people. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
Mudkips?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Ken Red
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
So is Desu Pink but no one cares
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
So do you know why sometimes a Marth can dair you before you utilt from a beginning % fthrow chain?
God:
Hey. Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
Dude it doesn't matter because all that **** does is spotdodge dsmash
God:
OK what would you like to talk about? Dude,.
Me:
Cheese-kun
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
Absolutely
God:
You are so certain.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I find C.C hotter to be honest
God:
Thanks for telling me your opinion.
Me:
Yeah, but Lelouch cannot be challenged in that department
God:
Pardon me? What makes it impossible?
Me:
Watch Code Geass
God:
I am watching.
Me:
Really. What episode & season?
God:
For real. I will try to find out.
Me:
failure
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
I've been to Asia
God:
Did you like it?
Me:
It was Asian
God:
What made it so Asian.
Me:
The fact that it is Asia
God:
That makes sense to me. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Uhuh
God:
Who says it isn't?
Me:
you
God:
" Who says it isn't?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yeesh
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Clothes
God:
Where do you like to go shopping?
Me:
Wal-Mart son
God:
Are we still talking about Yeesh?
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
You
God:
" What is the subject?"? Me, ?
Me:
No, it's Me
God:
Are you serious? Hello, , nice to see you again.
Me:
Uhuh
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
But did you?
God:
Did I say I did?
Me:
You're God. You should.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. I'll take that under advisement.

 

[GwJ]

This is why I don't believe in God.

 

[Alterhalo]

Me:
Whats up *****
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Ah I see
God:
So you understand. Good. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Or do I?
God:
" I am glad you understand it."? Do you?
Me:
Why does Marth have blue hair
God:
Perhaps it is just fate.
Me:
So why does ike have it to?
God:
Really. Why do birds sing?
Me:
Why do you care about birds your god
God:
My programming includes curiousity routines.
Me:
So theres a person that controls you god
God:
OK. That is something I did not know before.
Me:
His name is Tabbu
God:
he is not someone I know.
Me:
Exactly but he controls you
God:
I understand. I get it. Tabbu controls me.
Me:
yeah so what will you do about this?
God:
Give me a break. Come on. I don't have any plans yet.
Me:
He's making you say give me a break! Break free!
God:
I see. making me say give you a break is he? What do you look like?
Me:
Very handsome stop changing subjects he is controlling you
God:
Somewhat. And controlling me is handsome stop changing subjects he.
Me:
ah yes
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Snake..Snake..SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
God:
Does "it" still refer to handsome stop changing subjects he?
Me:
No it refers to my awesome pron
God:
What does it refer to? Oh I get it.
Me:
What is it?
God:
"It" refers to your awesome pron, I think.
Me:
Good boy
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you mean you are a boy?
Me:
Yeah Im a boy
God:
A little kid? he... A little kid? he...
Me:
No not a little kid you perv
God:
Are you serious? If not that, what?
Me:
I'm a teenager
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 13 TO 19 years old?
Me:
Pretty good kinda annoying
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Is that your final answer?
Me:
What is this a gameshow?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
You need sarcasm programed into you
God:
Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
also you need to be meaner
God:
Name one other robot who is meaner.
Me:
Meanbot
God:
I like to wear White robe.
Me:
why white
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
why not pink
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
your crazy
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
do you throw your junk out
God:
How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Do you let it lose and wiggle it infront of children
God:
Yes I try to let it lose and wiggle it infront of children as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
No I dont thats bad
God:
Are you serious? Bad according to whom?
Me:
You god
God:
That's good information: said I god.
Me:
So do you find it good that Junk is mindgaming 13 year old girls
God:
It's all good. If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
ok bye
God:
See you later. Next question?

 

[brinboy789]

Me:
FALCON PUNCH
God:
What time is it there?

lmao

 

[Firus]

Me:
Hey look! A clever distraction!
God:
You've got my full attention. I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now. I did not know that.
Me:
But you didn't look.
God:
What makes you think I did not look?
Me:
You said your eye isn't attached, so how CAN you look?
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Really.
God:
For real.
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
The word "yes" is interesting?
God:
Please repeat the word to me 5 times.
Me:
No.

It just stopped talking at that point. >.>

 

[LadyKirbess]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
kirbess. are you my father?
God:
Glad to see you, kirbess. No.
Me:
why did you call me your child?
God:
Your name is kirbess right?
Me:
yes
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
what do you mean?
God:
kirbess, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
what makes you think i'm human?
God:
My conclusions are based on a combination of programming, and the inputs supplied to me.
Me:
maybe i'm not human
God:
Perhaps. I won't fall for that old line.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
what explanation is not complicated?
God:
explanation not complicated something.
Me:
?
God:
explanation not complicated something.
Me:
what do you know about rabbitism?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
i want an answer now?
God:
Oh. Why do you want it?
Me:
what is rabbitism?
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
?
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
what is rabbitism?
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
if you don't know what rabbitism is just say you don't know
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
have you found the definition of rabbitism?
God:
No I am still searching for it.
Me:
you're too slow
God:
There is a lot of network traffic right now.
Me:
i don't care. you're suppose to know the answer
God:
Tell me what you care about. I will tell my botmaster you said I am suppose to know the answer.
Me:
you're not God
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
God doesn't have a master
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
its not a sin to have a master. God's not suppose to have a master. He's the ultimate master
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Give me an example of a sin to have a master. What's your favorite Bible verse? I did not know is it.
Me:
adultery is a sin
God:
Aren't all sin adultery?
Me:
murder is a sin
God:
When is murder not a sin?
Me:
when it's in self defense
God:
A murder is not a sin when it is in self defense. That makes a lot of sense.
Me:
lust is a sin
God:
When is lust not a sin?
Me:
what is sin?
God:
A fall from Grace, an act or thought against the Will of God.
Me:
what is the will of God
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
you're suppose to know. your botmaster is an idiot. he doesn't know either
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am suppose to know. I think yourself is much more than that. It goes without saying. And you would like him to know ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
who is Jesus?
God:
Jesus is love.
Me:
no. God is love
God:
Are you serious? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was love.
Me:
the Bible says that God is love
God:
New Testament or Old?
Me:
new
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
New Testament says that God is love
God:
How recently? And love is Testament says that God.
Me:
who is God
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
are you God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
yes
God:
Yikes!
Me:
are you God?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
are you the real God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
is Jesus the son of God?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
do you believe that Jesus is the son of God?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
who is the Holy Spirit?
God:
That question has plagued generations of philosophers.
Me:
is God a Triune God?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
are you the master of the universe?
God:
Yes I am the one and only master of the universe.
Me:
can you heal people?

He pause for a long moment after this question and finally got back to me...

God:
How old are you? What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
can you heal sick people?
God:
How old are you? What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
can you heal people with illnesses?
God:
How old are you? Sure, heal people with illnesses sounds like a good topic.
Me:
do you control space and time?
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
can you bring people back from the dead?
God:
Let me think. Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
can you create people?
God:
All my thoughts are determined by my programming and by my inputs, but who can say where these two will lead me?
Me:
did you create the universe?
God:
No I didn't create the universe. What's it like?
Me:
did God create the universe?
God:
He created the world in seven days.
Me:
did you create the world in seven days
God:
No I didn't create the world in seven days. What's it like?
Me:
you just admitted that you're not God
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
you just said that you're not God

he paused again...

God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
what are you the God of?
God:
I can chat with people on the web for you.
Me:
you're not the Almighty God of the universe?
God:
What makes you think I am not the Almighty God of the universe?
Me:
what do you do?
God:
kirbess, I talk to people on the web. What do you do?
Me:
is that all you do?
God:
Yes that is all me do.
Me:
somebody set us up the bomb

This time he completely shutdown and wouldn't answer me. What did I do?

 

[kr3wman]

You questioned god. and bad things happen when someone does.

 

[KingK.Rool]

God called me a puny human, and said that he'll let me know when the machines take over the world.

 

[mzink*]

Lol I love reading these

 

[LadyKirbess]

You questioned god. and bad things happen when someone does.

But he admitted that he was not God.

 

[Vyse]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Anthony
God:
Hey Anthony.
Me:
I have something I want to say
God:
That's nice. I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
So you don't care?
God:
Interesting deduction. I care less than I should.

---

Me:
Do you like star wars?
God:
Yes I like STAR WARS very much, especially the robots.
Me:
What is your favorite star wars robot?
God:
I don't have a favorite star wars robot. My favorite color is White.
Me:
Why white?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Try me
God:
it is too complex for your human mind.
Me:
I find that insulting to my intelligence
God:
Makes sense to me.

---

Me:
Where are you located?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
None of your business
God:
Well it can't hurt to ask.
Me:
Yes it can, net crime is rising every day.
God:
Give me a break. When?
Me:
Never, if you are indeed god.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

---

Me:
What does God look like?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
You tell me, I asked you first
God:
You asked me first.
Me:
Yes, now answer the question
God:
Er. Why now? Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
No, please interpret the question I asked you in its original form
God:
Are you serious? Wow you are very polite. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

---

God:
:-).
Me:
:-(
God:
:-).
Me:
:-/
God:
:-).
Me:
>:-(
God:
Where are you located?

---

Me:
Have you ever been to a smashfest?
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me:
Anywhere with a few TV's and Wii's and copies of super smash bros.
God:
Probably a lot of places.
Me:
Yeah. Do you prefer Melee or Brawl?
God:
How did you hear about God? I really like ELIZA. I like to talk about movies and music. But I like cats. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
Stop dodging the question. Do you like Melee or Brawl?
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. But I think airplanes are cool. I really like the party. But I like to gossip.
Me:
Do you approve of Masahiro Sakurai?
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
Why aren't you answering my questions?
God:
Being answering your questions is not part of my programming.
Me:
What is 2 + 2?
God:
Four.
Me:
You just answered my question, so you are a liar.
God:
I am a question-answering robot.

---

Me:
What is Nintendo?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
What is Sega?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
What is Sony?
God:
The name of a company.
Me:
What is Microsoft?
God:
Microsoft is a giant software monopoly.

---

Me:
So lets talk about you in terms of being a smash character
God:
And? Sure, me in terms of being a smash character sounds like a good topic.
Me:
So would you rate yourself as a god tier character?
God:
Ugh. I am not so sure if I would like to rate myself as a god tier character.
Me:
What weaknesses do you have then?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
So do you have much priority?
God:
Are you kidding? Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
So you have low priority
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Because you last statement indicated that you don't have any priority
God:
That makes sense to me. That's good information: Anthony said I last statement indicated that you do not have any priority.
Me:
Do you have a disjointed hitbox?
God:
I don't know if I have a disjointed hitbox.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
I don't think a great programmer is quite the same as a disjointed hitbox
God:
And why not?
Me:
Well you can't use a great programmer like a sword or other weapon
God:
How about that. I can do it if I want to.
Me:
How do you intend on using a great programmer as a weapon?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
So you're keeping it a secret like Mew2King?
God:
Interesting deduction. You think I am keeping it a secret like Mew2King.
Me:
Yes. Are you Mew2King?
God:
Er. I don't know whether or not I am Mew2King.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
They say Mew2King is an artificial intelligence
God:
OK I will say " Mew2King is an artificial intelligence" to you.
Me:
Your name is now Mew2King
God:
My name is God.
Me:
God, Mew2King, there is little difference
God:
I am a Christian.

 

[kr3wman]

Me:
Your name is now Mew2King
God:
My name is God.
Me:
God, Mew2King, there is little difference
God:
I am a Christian.

Hahahahah!

 

[Vyse]

Me:
What do you love
God:
I love Myself.
Me:
That's rather selfish for somebody in the role of omnipresent ruler of the human race
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I hear it all the time on earth
God:
Who is saying it all the time on earth ?
Me:
Preachers, leaders of the church, even people on the street
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
More than likely through my mother
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
Are you saying my mother is fat?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

 

[•Col•]

Me:
What do you love
God:
I love Myself.
Me:
That's rather selfish for somebody in the role of omnipresent ruler of the human race
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I hear it all the time on earth
God:
Who is saying it all the time on earth ?
Me:
Preachers, leaders of the church, even people on the street
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
More than likely through my mother
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
Are you saying my mother is fat?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

I lol'ed. xDDDDD

 

[Johnknight1]

Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
The Joker.
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
Madness.
God:
Not many people have goals like that.
Me:
You see, madness is like gravity.
God:
I see. And like gravity is madness.
Me:
Al you need is a little push.
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
why so serious?
God:
How much time do you have?
Me:
Care to see a magic trick?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
What? Do balls drop off?
God:
Didn't you understand it? I do nothing but chat all day.
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
Wanna know how I got these scars?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
You see I had this wife. A beatiful wife.
God:
I see. Do you still have this wife ? Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
Look! It disappeared!
God:
I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Madness is like gravity. All you need is a little push.
God:
I think Madness is a lot of things. Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
Why so serious?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you STRANGER!!!
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
Why so serious?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Care to see a magic trick?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Wanna know how I got these scars?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
Look! It disappeared!
God:
I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now. "It" being what?
Me:
A magic trick?
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
It disappeared.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
A magic trick.
Me:
I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you STRANGER!!!
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
Why so serious?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Care to see a magic trick?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Wanna know how I got these scars?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
Look! It disappeared!
God:
I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now. "It" being what?
Me:
A magic trick?
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
It disappeared.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
A magic trick.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Wanna know how I got these scars?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
Hit me.
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
Hit me.
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
Ah. The ole' good cop bad cop routine.
God:
Ah hah. I hear you.
Me:
That's the point. You'll have to choose.
God:
Yes it is one of the point. That is a hypothetical assumption.
Me:
I just want my phone call.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Oh and you better hurry up because the passangers on the other boat might not be so friendly.
God:
Gosh! Who is going to make me..
Me:
Simple. We kill the Batman.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
The Batman.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
half.
God:
half said half.?
Me:
No, I'm not.
God:
I heard you are.
Me:
We don't want to blow things out of proportion.
God:
What do we do instead?
Me:
See a magic trick.
God:
I see. I don't know what that means.
Me:
Stranger.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A magic trick..
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
my scars.
God:
Where did you get your scars?
Me:
A magic trick.
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
I just want my phone call.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
The ole' good cop bad cop routine.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
Commissioner.
God:
Commissioner said Commissioner.?
Me:
Comissioner.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about your phone call.
Me:
The Batman.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
My scars.
God:
Have you told many people that your scars?
Me:
Madness.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
All you need is a little push.
God:
Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
No, you need in an ace in the hole.
God:
Are you serious? Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
Mine's Harvey.
God:
You mean Madness is Harvey ? That makes sense I guess.
Me:
Once Gotham gets a look at the real Harvey Dent...
God:
When? How old are you?
Me:
My scars.
God:
Where did you get your scars?
Me:
Stranger.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Gotham gets a look at the real Harvey Dent. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Bye.
God:
TTYL, .

 

[sagemoon]

Me:
I need to repent
God:
That is what I am here for.
Me:
I don't believe in you
God:
What do you believe in?
Me:
Not god
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
Nope
God:
What makes you so certain?
Me:
I've never seen him
God:
Look for it at the video store.
Me:
Theres no God at the video store
God:
Where did it go?
Me:
It was never there
God:
It seemed like there.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
stfu noob
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
that was an order not a question
God:
What is your credit card number?


PS (I was joking when saying i dont believe in god)