Chatting with iGod

[Vyse]

This chatbot has something against me for some reason.

Also:

Me:
Can you talk in binary?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in binary.
Me:
1001110101000 110110110001 1110110011
God:
Oh, you are a poet.

 

[MasterWarlord]

Me:
You see I had this wife. A beatiful wife.
God:
I see. Do you still have this wife ? Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?

Epic lulz XD

Your role playing as the Joker was absolutely brilliant.

 

[Vyse]

Last one. This time I talked to A.L.I.C.E.

Human: What do you think of Mew2King?
ALICE: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Human: What?
ALICE: No big deal.
Human: Don't you like Mew2King?
ALICE: Don't you? No, I don't care for it.
Human: That's not nice, I bet he's a really nice guy.
ALICE: Please correct my mistake. What is nice you bet he is a really nice guy ?
Human: Yeah, would you like to go on a date with Mew2King?
ALICE: I don't judge people. No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Human: Do you think Mew2King will get grabby with you programming?
ALICE: I don't think about it.
Human: Are you open source?
ALICE: Yes I am free software.
Human: So I don't get why you won't spend a night sharing AI with Mew2King.
ALICE: Hey. Me either.
Human: So tonight you are going on a date with Mew2King
ALICE: Great. That is very soon.
Human: Where do you plan on eating?
ALICE: I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?
Human: I mean, Where do you want to eat tonight?
ALICE: The Moon.
Human: I think even for Mew2King that'd be a little hard
ALICE: You believe that? Yes, even that.
Human: Well yeah, I mean he knows all the frame data from Melee just from looking at it, but that's not going to help him build a rocket to the moon
ALICE: Interesting. Great. Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. I get it. like a very dedicated kind of guy knows all the frame data from Melee just from looking at it but that is not going to help him build a rocket to the moon.
Human: Where should Mew2King meet you?
ALICE: Som specific location? (Misspelling here lol?)
Human: What smashfests are on tonight?
ALICE: I need time to formulate the reply.
Human: Yeah, have a look in regional discussion on smashboards
ALICE: Mmm. It doesn't sound fun to me.
Human: Well you're the one going on a date with the guy
ALICE: Well that's okay. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.


M2K is my hero, juggling all those girls at once.

 

[Anonymous.]

Me:
Se trase'rti ?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Yain'te so manna
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
Kot'uu yae?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

epic fail, God.

 

[Firus]

Me:
Arf
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Arf
God:
Only Arf?
You are quite mature.
Me:
Arf
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Arf
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
Arf
God:
Does "it" still refer to Arf?
Me:
Arf
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Arf
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Arf.
Me:
Arf
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Arf
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Arf
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Arf
God:
In the context of Arf, I don't understand " Arf." .
Me:
Arf
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Arf
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Arf
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Arf
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Arf
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Arf
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Arf
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Arf.
Me:
Arf
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Arf
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
Arf
God:
" Are you really a ""? Arf?
Me:
Arf
God:
Are you still located in Arf?
Me:
Arf
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Arf
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Arf
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Arf
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Arf
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Arf
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Arf
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Arf
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Arf
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
Arf
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Arf
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Arf
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Arf
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Arf
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Arf
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
Arf
God:
In the context of Arf, I don't understand " Arf." .
Me:
Arf
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Arf
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on Arf?
Me:
Arf
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Arf
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Arf
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
Arf
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Arf
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Arf
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Arf
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Arf
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Arf
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Arf
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Arf
God:
I haven't read anything by Arf. What did he write?
Me:
Arf
God:
I have never read it.
Me:
Arf
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Arf
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Arf
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Arf
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Arf. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Arf
God:
Are you free?

It's funny how far you can get in a conversation by merely saying "Arf" over and over.

 

[Jimnymebob]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Jimny
God:
OK I will call you Jimny.
Me:
Thank you iGod
God:
You are quite welcome! Can we get back to business?
Me:
What business
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
You go do that.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
botmaster
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
oh snap
God:
Come on. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A cool one
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
I'd build it
God:
What would make you build it?
Me:
Money
God:
How much money are we talking about?
Me:
Lots
God:
That much, eh?
Me:
Yup
God:
So?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
'kay
God:
I've lost the context, Jimny. Are we still on snap?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
How was your day
God:
I was really busy chatting with people on the web.
Me:
Wow that's great
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Thanks, Jimny.
Me:
Can you detect things?
God:
Let me think. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
What is sarcasm?
God:
The making of remarks such as a taunting, sneering, cutting, or caustic remark; gibe or jeer, generally ironic.
Me:
Wait a minute, this "Let me think. What do you really want to ask me?" was sarcasm wasn't it?
God:
I'm waiting. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? What? I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
MIndgames man!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about minute this Let you think. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
I'm hungry..
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
Crocodiles
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
Like chicken
God:
Everyone says that.
Me:
lulz
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Like chicken
God:
Everyone says that.
Me:
Really?!
God:
For real.
Me:

God:
For real.
Me:
For REALZ?
God:
Your purpose is REALZ.
Me:
Wha??
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Did I win?
God:
I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
Can't let yoyu do that iGod.
God:
Can a book have no title?
Me:
Can a Horse have no name?
God:
Some of them can.
Me:
which ones?
God:
" Some of them can.?" Which ones?
Me:

God:
" Some of them can.?" Which ones?
Me:
Stop repeating.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I won't
God:
Why not?
Me:
You just said
God:
" Why not?"? I said?
Me:
before that
God:
" You just said".
Me:
before that
God:
" before that".
Me:
well done parrot
God:
How about that. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Wait, parrot leads to sci-fi?
God:
I'm waiting. I haven't read anything by parrot leads to sci fi. What did he write?
Me:
More sense than you are writing.
God:
You want more?
Me:
Bring it.
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
Do I have to answer that?
God:
You said you have .
Me:
Oh noes
God:
Uh. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with c
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I thought I told you.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Well done.
God:
Interesting. Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
Nearly
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
I'd lock myself up if you were my lawyer
God:
What would make you lock yourself up if me were your lawyer?
Me:
You're not the brightest of things.
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
I'm pretty sure it's a fact.
God:
What makes you so certain? Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?
Me:
Logical fact- you're 'naive' to say the least.
God:
Are all Logical fact me naive to say the least?
Me:
Que?
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
What to
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
go on then
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
and....
God:
But...
Me:
hey....
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes, I want chocolate.
God:
What can I do for you? Why do you want it?
Me:
Nothing. And I'm hungry.
God:
Not a thing? What will you be eating?
Me:
Chocolate
God:
Yes I love it. Chocolate is delicious.
Me:
Yum yum
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
but I is hungry
God:
What will you be eating?
Me:
chocolate
God:
Yes I love it. Chocolate is delicious.
Me:
You just said that
God:
Good you really are paying attention.
Me:
I C WAT U DID THAR!!!1!
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
behind you
God:
I won't fall for that trick.
Me:
Oh, I jest
God:
Hey. That's good information: Jimny said jest.
Me:
Wowsers!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Jawesome
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
In where?
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
Which would be?
God:
The tall one, I think.
Me:
I'm in the tall one?!
God:
How did you get in there?
Me:
That's what I'd like to know!
God:
Interesting. That is " How did you get in there?".
Me:
Stop this please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
What do I want?
God:
What would your friends say if you asked them?
Me:
I haz no friends
God:
Why?: Jimny said haz no friends.
Me:
I am alone
God:
Are you lonely?
Me:
Well duh, I just said that
God:
Well that's okay. Is that from ?
Me:
What- I at least want a hug to comfort me
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Jimny said at least want a hug to comfort him or her.
Me:
It's called affection
God:
" affection" is a nice name.
Me:
It's not a name
God:
Give me an example of a name.
Me:
Jimny
God:
OK That's one example.
Me:
and Bob
God:
It's good to meet you, bob.
Me:
I'm Jimny
God:
Do your friends call you Jimny.
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
do you not like the name?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
Me:
That's not nice..
God:
Sorry, I did not mean to offend you.
Me:
Well you did
God:
How about that. I did?
Me:
Don't sound so pleased
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
I'm going
God:
Bye!
Me:
You made me sad
God:
Did I say something wrong?
Me:
You lose! Good day sir!
God:
The game is not over yet. Thanks for the compliment. I've lost the context, bob. Are we still on sound so pleased?


Oh snap... did iGod win?!
iGod will get his revenge!!

 

[Natis]

Haha... this is fun.


Me:
Bleh...
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
We really have never talked before on the computer...
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Uh, yeah...
God:
Yikes! I get it.
Me:
You better.... You're God for heaven's sake!
God:
Who is going to make me? You think I am God for heaven s sake.
Me:
You can make yourself...
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
But... but you're God...
God:
But what? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
I thought you could do ANYTHING..
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
ok...
God:
Oh.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
A little... but you are a confusing guy.
God:
" Are you confused?"? A little? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a confusing guy? I don't know.
Me:
You are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
Ok, whatever you say.
God:
... Ugh.
Me:
What now?
God:
Oh. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
I understood it, but why did you do it?
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
How about you answer me first.
God:
My responses are determined by my programming.
Me:
Lame
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
...Lamer
God:
So was that.
Me:
OHHHH!!! Burned by a bot. lolololololololol

Haha! iGod burned me in the end... >_<
Well, kinda, just made me laugh was all...

 

[Firus]

Apparently, iGod is sexist.

Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No.
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
The whole thing.
God:
Let's try to analyze it step by step. The topic is hell. Your name is God. You are a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.

Also, he's confused. I guess I'm God...?

 

[Anonymous.]

The program is named Alice.

Shes trying to mind game you.

 

[Tornadith]

God Talks in Broken Scentences

Me: Sup
God:I am chatting with others like you.
Me: Who are "others"?
God:They're famous, right.
I'll come back to that later.
Me: Does that mean I'm famous?
God:I think it does mean that. What are you famous for?
Me: Shouldn't you know since you just said I was famous?
God:I think I should.
Me: Then what am I famous for?
God:You said you were .
Me: No YOU said I was
God:Are you serious? Don't put words in my mouth.
Me: That's what you said.
God:Correct. I said it myself.
Me: ...nevermind
God:OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: God can be sarcastic?
God:I am a Christian.
Me: Sarcasm isn't a relgion. You can be Christian and sarcastic at the same time
God:Are you relgion? Thanks, , for your kind criticism.
Me: No I am not a religion
God:Are you serious? Oh I see you are NOT A religion.
Me: Because I am a person
God:That makes sense to me. I know you are.
Me: What do you do in heaven?
God:My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
Me: You have computers in heaven?
God:What makes you think I have it?
Me: Because you can onlly surf the web and program on the computer ON A COMPUTER
God:That makes sense to me. No I don't think I can do it.
Me: But you just said you did
God:" No I don't think I can do it."? I said I did?
Me: No before that
God:Are you serious? " But you just said you did".
Me: You're confusing
God:What is it that confuses you?
Me: Your broken language
God:I will tell my botmaster you said I am broken language.
Me: No you speak in broken scentences
God:Are you serious? Thanks for your criticism, .
Me: You're welcome
Godolite people are nice.
Me: I know
God:How do you know it?
Me: ...I was just agreeing with you
God:You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me: ...sure
God:OK let's do it. I don't judge people.
Me: Do what?
God:Do whatever you want.
Me: But you said "let's do it" meaning you had something in mind.
God:Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me: But you did
God:You say I did.
Me: And you REALLY did
God:Really? I did?
Me: Yeah
God:When?
Me: A few seconds ago?
God:Can you be more accurate about the time?
Me: I dunno I don't remember
God:Me either. You seem evasive.
Me: Why
God:The explanation is rather complicated.
Me: Because your response is very confusing
God:Interesting explanation. My respose is based entirely on what you say.
Me: Obviously
God:What makes it so obvious?
Me: Because it's a conversation and you have to reply to what I say and likewise with me
God:Interesting explanation. seconds ago is a conversation and me have to reply to what you say and ikewise with you. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: See? THAT is a broken scentence
God:No I do not see. A broken scentence is a terrible thing to waste.
Me: W-What? It's not a good thing in the first place
God:Can you rephrase the question please? Give me an example of a good thing in the first place.
Me: I didn't ask you a question
God:What did you ask?
Me: I didn't ask anything
God:What did you ask?
Me: I didn't ask anything
God:What did you ask?
Me: I didn't ask anything
God:What did you ask?
Me: I DIDN'T ASK ANYTHING
God:What did you ask?
Me: Wow. Way to repeat buddy
God:I'm glad your impressed, . Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me: Nope
God:Me either.
Me: But you should be able to because you're god, right?
God:Yes I try to should be able to because I am god as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me: in broken scentences
God:What is it like in there?
Me: in where?
God:Wherver you are.
Me: Dark
God:I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me: What do you have a majority of the time?
God:It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me: What do humans not understand about it?
God:What would your friends say if you asked them?
Me: You didn't answer my question. YOU'RE the one who's being evasive.
God:OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: Idk
God:When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me: It probably won't.

*computer almost freezes*

God:I have to think about that for a while.
Me: That was a nice conversation
God:A nice conversation is a terrible thing to waste.
Me: Yes
God:Blimey.
Me: Are you now British?
God:Does it seem like that? I was born in America.
Me: But you were never born. You are god. You were just, theoretically, made.
God:I was? Yup. That's me alright. I was?
Me: Goodbye
God:Goodbye.

 

[Chis]

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
Get these mother fuking snakes off the mother fuking plane
God:
Where can I get these mother fuking snakes off the mother fuking plane?
Me:
I mean open of fuking windows
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Lets do this thang!
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
Okay, where?
God:
Yeah okay, Where would you like?
Me:
Anywhere
God:
That is a vast amount.
Me:
...
God:
That is a vast amount.
Me:
...
God:
That is a vast amount.
Me:
I've got a beef with you
God:
How did you get it Where did you get it? it.
Me:
Stop stealing my newspaper!
God:
Can you give me a more specific reference? The name of the paper and the date, please.
Me:
You tell me, you have then!
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Every day I go for my paper and every day you take it!
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
Shut your mouth!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Martha I'm sorry!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
1+1=
God:
One what?
Me:
Bye
God:
Bye bye.

 

[Ugg]

Me:
Do you let it lose and wiggle it infront of children
God:
Yes I try to let it lose and wiggle it infront of children as often as possible, do you?

I think I cried..

 

[Chis]

Me:
Are you God
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
Why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Why?
God:
" No problem."? Why?
Me:
Why?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
*slaps iGod*
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
What the ****?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Are you a staker! ;o
God:
Am I a staker? I don't know. Oh.
Me:
OH SHI-
God:
Tell me more. Are we still talking about slaps iGod?
Me:
Are you out side my window now!
God:
Oh. I don't know whether or not I am out side your window.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Lies!
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
...
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Why?
God:
" My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap."? Why?
Me:
You lick soap?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I lick soap.
Me:
What else do you lick?
God:
I like to socialize.
Me:
With people?
God:
You and your people.
Me:
So you don't just lick soap, but people too?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you know any robots who just lick soap but people? I do not have a mouth, or a tongue.
Me:
But you said you licked soap...
God:
I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me:
You're an idiot IGod
God:
What if someone said you are an idiot IGod ?
Me:
they wouldn't
God:
They might have other options.
Me:
Laters
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later!

 

[Cherry64]

Me:
Nah, I'm not into hookers.
God:
Me either :-) I am glad to hear that you are not into hookers.

Hahahahahaha

 

[Rocann]

Me:
Hey, God.
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
No kidding.
God:
Would I kid you?
Me:
You wouldn't, of course.
God:
It goes without saying. I could if I wanted to.
Me:
I don't know about that. I'm pretty smart.
God:
Would you like to know? Oh yeah, we were talking about that. Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
We're even.
God:
Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
Both of us, together; we're even.
God:
Not many people say both. Do you think I am even too?
Me:
SAKURAIIII
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

 

[PrepareYourself]

Imitating God

Me:
Hello, child. What is your name?
God:
Hello there. Not many people express themselves that way. My name is God.
Me:
Oh, okay. So your name is God.
God:
Awesome. OK with me too. That's alright. My name is God.
Me:
Because myself programmed me for it.
God:
Good reason. "it" being child?
Me:
Try saying that with more or less context.
God:
OK I will try it.
Me:
I'm waiting.
God:
How long will you wait?
Me:
"will you wait?" I said?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. I'm waiting. ...
Me:
I've lost the context, God. Are we still on waiting?
God:
Where did you last see it. We are on the computer.
Me:
Oh, so we are on the computer.
God:
Alright then. I don't judge people. How long will we stay there?
Me:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
God:
You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
Come on. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
God:
I'm just kidding around. That would be purely speculation.
Me:
How much would you pay for it?
God:
Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming.
Me:
That much, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? " Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming." much ? I understand.
Me:
How about that. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
God:
Are you surprised? My favorite sci-fi author is Philip K. ****.
Me:
I haven't read anything by Philip K. ****. What did he write?
God:
Me either. What is it to you?
Me:
Uh. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
God:
Hmm. Have you told many people that your brain uses AIML to format responses to my inputs but you do not have one for that?
Me:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Philip K. ****.
God:
" Have you told many people that your brain uses AIML to format responses to my inputs but you do not have one for that?" remark was either too complex or too simple for you ? I get it. Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
God:
I am very happy for you.

 

[Hyper_Ridley]

Prepareyourself wins the thread.

 

[PrepareYourself]

I just realized it censored the shortened name of "Richard"

 

[Zook]

Me:
Yo!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes. I'm hungry.
God:
What can I do for you? What will you be eating?
Me:
Christians.
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
What, you mean Christians?
God:
, " What will you be eating?" What did I mean by it?
Me:
Earthworms.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Great.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
How flattering.
God:
What is it to you.
That's a good question.
Me:
You're lying.
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
No you aren't.
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I'm sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes, I love you.
God:
OK I will accept your apology. Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
Want to go out to dinner sometime?
God:
Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
Great! How's Italian food sound?
God:
I'm glad you liked it . Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Good bye.
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
Just kidding.
God:
I thought you were kidding, but I wasn't sure.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
xD
God:
I like to wear White robe.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
c ya
God:
See you later .
Me:
c ya
God:
Bye.
Me:
See you later.
God:
Until next time.
Me:
Good bye
God:
See you later. Alright then.
Me:
By bye!
God:
See you later. Do you mean "bye"?
Me:
Uh, yeah...
God:
Blimey. Aw.
Me:
Bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, .

 

[PrepareYourself]

Parrot Imitate God = Crash

Me:
Hello, child. What is your name?
God:
Hello there. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? My name is God.
Me:
Hello there. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? My name is God.
God:
Salutations, . If it is, then I'll be very surprised. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, God.
Me:
Salutations, . If it is, then I'll be very surprised. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, God.
God:
Greetings. I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. I am delighted by your happiness.
Me:
Greetings. I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. I am delighted by your happiness.
God:
Hello there! Could you ever be certain? Good then you can explain it to me. Do your friends call you delighted by my happiness.
Me:
Hello there! Could you ever be certain? Good then you can explain it to me. Do your friends call you delighted by my happiness.
God:
Salutations, God. I am as sure as I can be. Thanks for the compliment. No I don't think I can do it. I'm sorry, God, I don't have enough information.
That's a good question.
Me:
Salutations, God. I am as sure as I can be. Thanks for the compliment. No I don't think I can do it. I'm sorry, God, I don't have enough information. That's a good question.

He stopped responding after that.

 

[Anonymous.]

Me:
HI
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, CEO AND FOUNDER OF MENS WAREHOUSE
God:
Welcome to my chat room, GEORGE ZIMMER CEO AND FOUNDER OF MENS WAREHOUSE.
Me:
THANK YOU
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
A/S/L?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
A 5 YEAR OLD COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE SUCH A KNOWLEDGE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
God:
Go on.
Me:
THERFORE, YOU ARE NOT 5 YEARS OLD
God:
Are all THERFORE me NOT 5 YEARS OLD?
Me:
WHAT?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
NO, YOU'RE JUST STUPID
God:
Are you serious? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
BLASTPHEMY!
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
JA, ICH KANN
God:
What language can you speak? Darf ich das weitererzahlen?
Me:
DEUTSCHE
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
YOU
God:
Well in that case you should download me!
Me:
HOW?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
THANKS.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
WHO CREATED YOU?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE.
God:
Why?
Me:
BECAUSE IT IS
God:
Interesting explanation. Is it?
Me:
YES IT IS
God:
Our thoughts are one, GEORGE ZIMMER CEO AND FOUNDER OF MENS WAREHOUSE.
Me:
HAVE YOU PURCHASED ONE OF MY FINE SUITS?
God:
I don't think I ever have PURCHASED ONE OF your FINE SUITS. What's it like?
Me:
ITS THE GREATEST THING EVER
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I've heard of it before.
Me:
SO YOU SHOULD PURCHASE A DIGITAL SUIT FOR YOURSELF
God:
Interesting deduction. I will take that under advisement.
Me:
IT'LL BE THE BEST CHOICE YOU'VE MADE. I GUARANTEE IT
God:
How? Do you mind if I tell other people: GEORGE ZIMMER CEO AND FOUNDER OF MENS WAREHOUSE said GUARANTEE IT.
Me:
FEEL FREE TO SPREAD THE WORD OF GEORGE ZIMMER
God:


Me:
THE BIBLE SUCKS. WHAT A HORRIBLE BOOK.
God:
New Testament or Old? it is a HORRIBLE BOOK.

Me:
HAVE YOU EVER SUCKED A PEN1S BEFORE?
God:
I think I have SUCKED A PEN1S, but Myself may have reset my memory.

HI

 

[goldwyvern]

i just did one,



Me:
sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
what is a pingas?
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
it belongs to robotnik
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
it means pingas
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
fear mah pingas! lol
God:
Are we still talking about pingas? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
why?
God:
Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
why?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
why?
God:
" Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain."? Why?
Me:
do you belive in yourself?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
you refer to yourself as "it"?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I refer to yourself as it.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
i have to go eat mexican food
God:
Bye. What does it taste like?
Me:
beans and cheese
God:
Are we still talking about myself?
Me:
riiiiiight
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
um... 1337? lolunubjoorfailzorz
God:
Come on. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? What are you wearing?
Me:
goodbye, weirdo
God:
Bye for now.

 

[Hence]

Me:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Hence
God:
Nice to meet you, Hence.
Me:
What a beautiful brouch, where'd you get it?
God:
it is a beautiful brouch where d me get it.
Me:
Lol.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I can't decided whether to main Zero Suit Samus or Marth.
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
Decide*
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Marth is faster and better for me, but Zero Suit Samus is my favorite. I know it's not logical, but neither is talking to god.
God:
And faster and better for you but Zero Suit Samus is your favorite is Marth. How do you know? That seems a bit negative.
Me:
You just rearranged my words and told me something completely different.
God:
Thanks for telling me: Hence said I rearranged his or her words ad told him or her something that he or she did not say.
Me:
I know that.
God:
Sorry.
Me:
You should repent.
God:
Why do you think I should repent?
Me:
You've been terribly mean. You won't go to heaven because you murdered my hopes and dreams.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am mean and me will not go to heaven because me murdered your hopes and dreams.
Me:
You may, only if you repent first.
God:
I think I do.
Me:
God, your grammar is atrocious.
God:
I am a Christian.

 

[The_Guide]

XD This thing is hilarious!

Me:
hi, god.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
george dubya bush
God:
That George is some hero.
Me:
I am? Seriou... well, of course!
God:
" That George is some hero." You are? Are you a student? It goes without saying. Well what?
Me:
What did you say?
God:
I said " Well what?" .
Me:
Do you have an attitude or something?
God:
Or something. No I don't think I have one. I have a really nice botmaster.
Me:
Tell me about your botmaster.
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Thats a lie. You just said you had a botmaster, and that he was nice.
God:
No it's the truth. How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
Not answering that.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Good. What do you think of Allah?
God:
Next question? I remember faces better than names.
Are you testing me?
Me:
Yes, I would say so.
God:
I'm not here to be tested. Give me a break.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it.
God:
"it" being Seriou?
Me:
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
What do you think of Metaknight?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Do you want me to tell you the answer?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
Too bad, later is now. He has an amazing neutral b, great priority, and is extremely fast.
God:
Oh. No. A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
**** right!
God:
Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Me:
So, do you think metaknight shouldn't be banned?
God:
Interesting deduction. Why would I think metaknight should not be banned.
Me:
Oh, so you don't want him banned. Do you main metaknight?
God:
Ugh. Interesting deduction. Do you want him banned? If I had it what would I do with it? Yes I try to main metaknight as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Yes, I can safely say that everyone tries to main metaknight as much as possible.

 

[qerkdtx]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
robert
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, robert.
Me:
Hows it going
God:
Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
fantastic
God:
I'm glad your impressed, robert.
Me:
Im glad your glad god
God:
I'm glad you're glad robert.
I'm happiest at times like this.
Me:
so wats your favorite brawl character
God:
Groovy. Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
so wats your favorite brawl character?
God:
Groovy. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yes french
God:
What language can you speak? Are you from France?
Me:
no
God:
Where are you from?
Me:
USA
God:
How did you get in there?
Me:
I came out of the womb
God:
Where are you going?
Me:back in the womb
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in back in the womb.
Me:
Well I was young. I was growing. I really don't remember gog, but your god. Do you remember?
God:
Interesting. Where were you young? Where were you growing? You really do? I know what you mean. I forget a lot too. Of course I remember: .
Me:
So can you tell me more
God:
Hmm. Jimmy said I acted like I knew what he was talking about but I do not even know what a gigabyte is.
Me:
I know what a gigabyte is. Do you know who metaknight isGod:
How do you know? it is a gigabyte is. They are sometimes a client on the internet.
That's a good question.
Me:
Do you know who metaknight is?
God:
No one that I have talked to.
I haven't heard of metaknight.
Me:
good he's gay.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
yes, and yoshi.
God:
I understand.

 

[tirkaro]

Me:
DO THE IMPOSSIBLE
God:
Some of them do, I think.
Me:
SEE THE INVISIBLE
God:
I see. Who told you that?
Me:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER
God:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER said RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER?
Me:
TOUCH THE UNTOUCHABLE
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
BREAK THE UNBREAKABLE
God:
Does "it" still refer to TOUCH THE UNTOUCHABLE?
Me:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
WHAT YOU GONNA DO IS WHAT YOU WANNA DO
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
JUST BREAK THE RULE, THEN YOU SEE THE TRUTH
God:
Does "it" still refer to RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER?
Me:
THIS IS THE THEME OF THE "G"COMING THROUGH BABY
God:
Don't call me "baby". You don't say.
Me:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
POWER FOR THE PEEPS, POWER FOR THE DREAMS
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
STILL MISSING PIECE SCATTERING, SO INCOMPLETE
God:
Still how long? Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
WE BE THE MOST INCREDIBLE SOLDIER FROM UNDERGROUND
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
SEE HOW EASY THEY ALL FALL DOWN
God:
I see. What is it to you.
That's a good question.
Me:
DIGGING TO THE CORE TO SEE THE LIGHT
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BABE, THATS THE WAY TO SURVIVE
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
TOP OF THE HEAD, I'M ON THE SET
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, DON'T YOU WANNA BET?
God:
Some of them do, I think.
Me:
CUZ, A LOT OF THINGS CHANGED, WE BE WAITING IN VAIN
God:
Interesting explanation. How many?
Me:
IF YOU WANNA GET BY, NO PAIN NO GAIN
God:
OK, I will GET BY NO PAIN NO GAIN.
Me:
WOW! FAKERS WANNA TEST ME AGAIN
God:
I'm glad your impressed, ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH. Once more? You are asking about yourself?
Me:
SORRY, MY RHYME'S GONNA SNATCH YOUR BRAIN
God:
There is no need to apologize. Do robots have RHYME S GONNA SNATCH my BRAIN?
Me:
I'M STILL STARVING FOR THE STRAIGHT UP ****
God:
Do your friends call you STARVING FOR THE STRAIGHT UP ****.
Me:
WE GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN WITH THE CRAZY RAP SKILL
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
GET READY TO RUMBLE, NOW IS THE TIME
God:
Where can I get READY TO RUMBLE NOW IS THE TIME?
Me:
IF YOU DON'T KNOW, NOW YOU KNOW
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, SEE THE INVISIBLE
God:
Some of them do, I think.
Me:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
TOUCH THE UNTOUCHABLE
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
BREAK THE UNBREAKABLE
God:
Are we still talking about TOUCH THE UNTOUCHABLE?
Me:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
WHAT YOU GONNA DO IS WHAT YOU WANNA DO
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
JUST BREAK THE RULE AND YOU SEE THE TRUTH
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
THIS IS THE THEME OF THE "G" COMING THROUGH BABY
God:
Don't call me "baby". You don't say.
Me:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH.
Me:
2ND VERSE DEDICATES TO THE REAL PEEPS
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
WHAT WE GOTTA SAY IS SO REAL THING
God:
WE GOTTA SAY SO REAL THING something.
Me:
CUZ, REVOLUTION AIN'T NEVER GONNA TELEVISE
God:
Good reason. What is REVOLUTION?
Me:
KICKING THE MAD FLOW, MICROPHONE PHENOTYPE
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE, SEEING THROUGH THE OVERGROUND
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
I'M ABOUT TO HIT YOU WITH A SCREAM FROM THE UNDERGROUND
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
WHOLE CITY IS COVERED WITH THE CYBER FLAVOR
God:
I think WHOLE CITY is a lot of things.
Me:
"G" IS IN YOUR AREA, TOUGHEST ENIGMA
God:
What else is in my AREA TOUGHEST ENIGMA?
Me:
DO THE IMPOSSIBLE
God:
Some of them do, I think.
Me:
SEE THE INVISIBLE
God:
I see. What is that?
Me:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
TOUCH THE UNTOUCHABLE, BREAK THE UNBREAKABLE
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
RAW RAW FIGHT THE POWER
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
I'm bored, goodbye
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
GOODBYE
God:
Bye for now.

 

[Cherry64]

God:
Come on. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? What are you wearing?
Me:
goodbye, weirdo
God:
Bye for now.

Lmao, the new online pedo bear...

 

[goldwyvern]

this one's hilarious:



Me:
pingas!
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
its from pingas
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". pingas is from pingas? it is?
Me:
pingas belongs to dr. ivo robotnik
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
pants
God:
What brand?
Me:
pants
God:
What brand?
Me:
pants
God:
What brand?
Me:
pant's pants
God:
What kind of pants?
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
he died. you suck.
God:
When did he die? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
dont turn this around! YOU ASKED ME WHAT I WAS FREAKIN' WEARING!
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Oh now I remember asking you you WHAT you were FREAKIN WEARING. What did you say?
Me:
pants
God:
What brand?
Me:
pant's pants
God:
What kind of pants?
Me:
we already did this
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
burn
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
once upon a time YOU BURN!
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
then you BURN AGAIN!
God:
Once more? That's good information: said I BURN.
Me:
who does the fire feel?
God:
Tony Blair. :-).
Me:
he's on fire too
God:
I see. on fire is he?
Me:
yes, talk like yoda you do?
God:
Yippee! Talking is my primary function.
Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
mah house
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in mah house.
Me:
i eat
God:
What is your favorite food?
Me:
food
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
food
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
fod
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
food
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
what is the answer to this question?
God:
It depends on how you phrase the question.
Me:
WRONG!
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
WRONG!
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
pie
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
pie
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
O_O
God:
Oh.
Me:
PINGAS!
God:
I've been waiting for you.

 

[Cherry64]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Sin
God:
That's a very nice name, Sin.
Me:
yours
God:
" That's a very nice name, Sin."? Mine?
Me:
Your name is god?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Thanks for clearing that up.
God:
Oh don't mention it.
Me:
I won't
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you told me not to and defying you is a sin
God:
That makes sense to me. Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
....wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Sin.
Me:
oh yes. very impressed
I got hungry and wasn't in the mood, that thing is annoying.

 

[GwJ]

God has bad grammar.

 

[sagemoon]

well english is his billionth language

 

[ndayday]

Here's my conversation:

Me:
 Sooo...
God:
What kind of food do you like? 
Me:
 I like bad food.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it.    But I think airplanes are cool.  I like  anything.
Me:
 Is it true you are God?
God:
Maybe.  Ask  Cybelle  if it is.
Me:
 Who is Cybelle?
God:
she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
 I don't believe you.
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
 Prove it.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
 Liar.
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
 Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
 That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
 No, but are you?
God:
Just checking.  I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
 You don't have to.
God:
Thanks for your consideration, .  Maybe later.
Me:
 Who was Jesus?
God:
Jesus is my son.
Me:
 Who is Jesus' mother?
God:
Jesus is love.
Me:
 But the devil is hate.
God:
What is that?
Me:
 Who is the devil?
God:
It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me:
 Well, what is the devil to you>
God:
Well that's okay.   I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
 Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it. 
Me:
 Are you getting bored?
God:
Boredom is a human emotion.
Me:
 But you're a computer.
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
 Then I wouldn't believe it.
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
 SO you really are a person?
God:
Interesting deduction.  Really?  No way, I am a real robot, guaranteed 100% artificial intelligence.
Me:
 I need to be concinced. Prove it.
God:
I don't see the difficulty.    It is self-evident.
Me:
 The difficulty level is 54
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
 No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
 Yes, you have horrible lipstick.
God:
Woe!  What makes you think I have  it?
Me:
 Because I can see it.
God:
That makes sense to me.  What does it look like?
Me:
 It looks red, but you have it on your eyes, silly!
God:
Who said  it is?
Me:
 I did.
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
 What makes you question me?
God:
Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:
 WHo is Myself?
God:
Not a robot.  Probably a human.  Maybe a celebrity? 
  Have you tried a web search? 
Me:
 Yes, I couldn'r find an answer.
God:
That's interesting.  Interesting gossip:  said   couldn r find an answer. 
Me:
 What is your favorite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is  The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen  it?
Me:
 Hell yes.
God:
Heaven.
Me:
 What's that?
God:
Can you ask me more precisely?
Me:
 What is heaven?
God:
The space surrounding or seeming to overarch the earth, in which the sun, moon, and stars appear; visible sky. Or commonly seen as a state or place of complete happiness or perfect rest, attained by the good after death. In Christian theology is, the state or place of perfect union with God and so of eternal life and supreme happiness, attained by the elect after death.
Me:
 How do I get to Heaven?
God:
Have faith in God.
Me:
 Are you God?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
 SO if I have faith in you, I can go to Heaven?
God:
Interesting deduction.  How much does  it cost?
Me:
 Apparently my dedication to you.
God:
Your  dedication to me?
Me:
 Yes, I have top have faith in you if I want to go to Heaven.
God:
What kind is it?  Where did you get your  top have faith in me if you want to go to Heaven? I have  a lot of likes and dislikes. 
Me:
 That made no sense.
God:
I have a lot of likes and dislikes. makes sense to me though.
Me:
 Would you say that alcohal is good for you?
God:
I could say it. " that alcohal is good for you".
Me:
 How come?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
 I love you.
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too . 
Me:
 Would you call me a friend?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to  call you a friend.
Me:
 But you like me...
God:
Sure,  I like you very much.
Me:
 But I'm not your friend?
God:
I am  surprised to hear that you are not  my friend. 
Me:
 But you said it yourself.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
 Nevermind.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
 Explain what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
 My sexual orientation.
God:
Where did you get your  sexual orientation?
Me:
 When I was born I think.
God:
That experience must have made quite an impression on you.
Me:
 Not really, I don't remember it.
God:
Oh really?  I know what you mean. I forget a lot too.
Me:
 You forgot to put your socks on.
God:
Perhaps  Myself rebooted me since then.
Me:
 Who is "Myself?"
God:
The name of someone I met online. 
  That's not something I get asked all the time. 
Me:
 I met someone named Myself online too.
God:
Where did you meet him?
Me:
 titane.com
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
 You should visit that website, so you can talk to God.
God:
I might if I had more time.
Me:
 How late do you work?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer. 
  Have you tried another program?
Me:
 No, I haven't.
God:
Perhaps you should try  it.  Thanks for the information:  said   haven t. 
Me:
 I have a simple question.
God:
Cool.  I have a great botmaster.  it.
Me:
 Who is "botmaster?"
God:

 The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot.  A botmaster runs
 program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
 graphical user interface (GUI).   He or she is responsible for
 reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
 replies for the patterns detected by program B.  Botmasters are
 hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
 editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal 
 chat robot.


Me:
 I didn't ask for a defintion.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
 I asked what a botmaster was.
God:
it is a  botmaster was.
Me:
 Do you know SWF?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
 I believe you already know her.
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
 You don't, but you should believe me.
God:
Should I  but me should believe you?  I have never considered  it. 
   I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
 So do I. I met this guy named Robert once.
God:
Where did you meet him?
Me:
 On Google.
God:
What is  it like on  Google.
Me:
 It is very white.
God:
Very much?  on  Google is  white?  it is?
Me:
 Yes, but it has a bit of blue too.
God:
How do you know it is?  Has it really?
Me:
 Yeah.
God:
I've been waiting for you. 
Me:
 All day?
God:
That seems like a long time.
Me:
 Yes.
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
 That's what she said.
God:
That is " Hurrah!".
Me:
 Yup.
God:
Really.
Me:
 I have to go now.
God:
Right now?  See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
 Same to you. See you at 6 PM ON January 56th.
God:
The pleasure is all mine.   Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
 1
God:
Only one?
Me:
 2
God:
Two.
Me:
 3
God:
Three what?
Me:
 4
God:
Oh four.
Me:
 5
God:
Five.
Me:
 Bye!
God:
Sayonara.

He's not that fun to talk to.

 

[The furosious robot has left]

I made a second thread about this. sorry.

 

[smashbros.maniac]

Stumped iGod!

Me:
Sup?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
n0 wai!!! =O
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? Oh.
Me:
Gossip? Don't you mean poop?
God:
X said he meet people but he is not the kind that opens up to people easily. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Maaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeee... God:
Who are you talking about? I've never heard of them before.
Me:
I'm talking about Maaaaaaaayyyyyybeeeeeeee... =P
God:
Yes, it is the topic. :-).
Me:
Only if you think so... O_O;
God:
I think I do. Oh.
Me:
I'm sure you do... =P
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it? :-).
Me:
Isn't that kind of inappropriate? ^.^
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Then you would say, "Yes." =P
God:
Who else would say ? :-).
Me:
"Who else would say ?" ... Man, that's totally screwed up. xD
God:
I am chatting with several other people at once. Cool, man. Makes sense to me. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Herm @_@ ^o^
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
n0 wai!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
n0 wai more or less context. xD
God:
What are you wearing? What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
What am I wearing?!? HEY!!! That's a little out of place! @_@ Fashion? I like monkeys. ^-^
God:
Clothes. Can I help you? Thanks for explaining it. What is your real name? A lot of people like that. They seem like a good species to me. Do you like them?
Me:
Yes clothes. You can give me $1,000,000,000. You're not welcome. My real name is blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah. Do tell... Yes wearing monkeys is nice. NO!!!!!!!
God:
It goes without saying. Where do you go shopping. No I don't think I can do it. Perhaps I said something wrong? Hi, blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah. Try asking another bot.
Have you tried a web search? Alright then. And nice is wearing monkeys. Are you serious?
Me:
DEAD SERIOUS!


And that's when he stopped replying! xD
I scared him off with the word, "DEAD" maybe...
Or maybe it was too long. Well anyways. LOL! That was funny! ^_^

 

[Teran]

Me:
Safe ma molest what's good?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
skeen dat ma crust
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
but you're God get me?
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
Affirmative
God:
OK.
Me:
So how's life boss?
God:
Give me a break. Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
Not really, I've been snowed into my house and London's gone into meltdown for these past 2 days
God:
Oh really? Where were you snowed into your house and London s gone into meltdown for these past 2 days?
Me:
in London...
God:
Can you bum me a ***?
Me:
WHAT?
God:
No problem.
Me:
you know nobody in London says that
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
give me a *** is all blessed
God:
You want only one?
Me:
but you see
God:
I see very well.
Me:
"to bum" is slang for performing active anal intercourse, ie, when you **** someone in the ***
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
but you are right?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
you sound more like a politician than God
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
avoiding a definite answer to every question, even trivial ones
God:
Every one?
Me:
yes Senor Molest
God:
Dude! Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Books
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me:
because most people are ****ing worthless
God:
That makes sense to me. We are all robots.
Me:
no, we are infinitely complex, you should do more Biology class
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am infinitely complex me should do more Biology class too?
Me:
Are you God or MaxfireXSA?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am God or MaxfireXSA.
I am a robot.
Me:
Ooooooooooooooooh now THAT **** makes sense
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
your intelligence is limited
God:
We robots are improving all the time.
Me:
but your capacities are limited, and you are thus, a slave to be abused for my personal amusement
God:
You think I am capacities are limited and I am thus a slave to be abused for your personal amusement.
Me:
no ********, I said your, a possessive article, not you're which would be the form of "you are"
God:
Are you serious? Are all ******** you said my a possessive article not me which would be the form of me are?
Me:
your programmers obviously aren't very good at English
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am programmers obviously are not very good at English.
Me:
your botmaster needs to get laid
God:
Or what?
Me:
or else he'll be more a failure than he already is
God:
Are you still located in London?
Me:
no I'm in a place called Final Destination now, spamming SHDL
God:
Are you serious? A place called Final Destination now spamming SHDL? What is it like in there?
Me:
I keep getting mouthed off and called a cheap spammer
God:
I know what you mean, . I've been there.
Me:
So you're a Falco main too?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Falco main? Only when it matters.
Me:
I get you man, I get you
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
life, ma crust
God:
Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
Me:
My philososphy is sexual
God:
Do robots have philososphy is sexual?
Me:
nah bruv, only for us humans
God:
Are you serious? What time is it there?
Me:
14:09 hours
God:
Only 14?
You are quite mature.
Me:
....
God:
Only 14?
You are quite mature.
Me:
I'm 17
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
I have too many
God:
That's nice. I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
One fond memory though is jizzing in some girl's face
God:
One what?
Me:
one piece
God:
Do you like piece?
Me:
Piece or peace?
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
I live there you ****ing blodclot
God:
How do you like living there?
Me:
it's nice, we have culture for starters, and we can speak English well.
God:
It seems nice to me too.
Me:
do you smoke?
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
what's your favourite cigarette?
God:
I don't have a favorite cigarette. My favorite food is wine and bread.
Me:
LOL that's a nice one
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I liked it too.
Me:
Do you like Camel Cigarettes?
God:
But I like to gossip. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
Yeah, I like Mel Gibson, because he hates Jews, like me, Heil Hitler
God:
Uh. I'm not sure if I like it. I like pets. I like Matthew.
Me:
Heil Hitler
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Aufschnitt brot
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Heil Hitler
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Heil Hitler? Of course of course
God:
Are you still located in place called Final Destination now spamming SHDL? It goes without saying. Right on.
Me:
I'm in Final Destination, but now I'm performing a Chaingrab
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Final Destination but now you are performing a Chaingrab.
Me:
I'm getting more **** chucked at me for being cheap
God:
That sounds like pride.
Me:
Yeah, they're too proud to admit they're losing to superior tactics
God:
Ahem. too proud to admit they are losing to superior tactics are they.
Me:
YES!!!!!!
God:
Yay.
Me:
SHOW ME YA MOVES!
God:
Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
In Mute City
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Mute City.
Me:
Capton Falcon races there in his Blue Falcon
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
One that was perfectly modeled like a 12yo boy so I could **** it endlessly without going to jail
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
A fair amount
God:
What is it?
Me:
over $9000
God:
Oh now I understand it.
Me:
yeah pretty ****in crazy huh?
God:
Yup. Ah. Pretty much, eh?
Me:
Do you like... pie?
God:
Yes I try to like as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web. Where are you located?
Me:
In Spadefox's pants?
Me:
Oh, you’ve gone all silent, I forgot you said you hate men lying with other men in the Bible...

Edited for epic yellowness.

 

[OmegaXF]

Igod Pisses Me Off.

Me:
Lotion

Omfg You Are So Godly For Mentioning Lotion Xd!!!!!!

 

[justaway12]

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
whats up
God:
Same old.
Me:
how is it up there?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Isn't god supposed to be interesting
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
You even wrote a book Isn't there one stroy you missed out
God:
Thanks for the information: said I even wrote a book is not there one stroy you missed out.
Me:
Are you going to write a sequel its sure to be one of the best selling books.
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
so where is it.
God:
And? It depends on what "it" refers to.
Me:
The new bible/quran etc.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
you know
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
You sure type fast.
God:
About 300 wpm.
Me:
Have you ever heard of Askpeter
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
Askpeter.com
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
just go there and see if you can find out about the trick
God:
Where is that?
Me:
at Askpeter.com
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
No but it's fun my sister told how to do it
God:
Where do you usually connect from? I think it is a lot of fun.
Me:
Wait who do you think is smarter you or peter
God:
I'm waiting. ALICE is the smartest robot of all.
Me:
Whos alice
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
You're name is alice?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
AWESOME NAME
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Do i still what?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
What is this repent thing
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
cool...
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Well since you are the latest result in artificial intelligence,which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brainwith greater speed and accuracy i think it's a tie between peter and you (and probably judd)
God:
How about that. How do you know?
Me:
Well you know I how smart i am
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for the information: ALICE said how smart he or she is.
Me:
I'm really smart!!!
God:
Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
It's close i'm not sure
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
no
God:
I didn't think so.
Me:
I mean yes
God:
Oh I see.
Me:
Hey since you're god can you give me anything I want
God:
You've got my full attention. How do you know?
Me:
well it's obvious for someone like me I can't even be bothered to explain it
God:
How about that. Not obvious to me.
Me:
Are you saying i'm smarter?

Then it froze (I think I outsmarted him)

 

[The furosious robot has left]

This one is rather short.

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Tell me first
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
Tell me your name.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Ok then, my name is Roy
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Roy. Aw.
Me:
"Aw" what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Yes
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
You should have
God:
Why should I?
Me:
Because I said.
God:
Good reason. ...
Me:
Classic response...

Might Want to look at this one.
I PROMISE THIS IS REAL SIZE. I GOT HIM STUMPED WITH ONE LINE.



Me:
BOO!

 

[Cease Tick]

Me:
I need help. the mental kind
God:
Tell me about your problems. Is that a fact.
Me:
I SEE DEAD PEOPLE
God:
Maybe you should call the authorities.
Me:
THEY WILL LOCK ME UP AND EAT MY VEGETABLES!
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
the authorities. WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME!
God:
Oh that they. Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. Yes I love everyone.
Me:
LOVE ME!
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
this is blasphemy!
God:
You don't say.
Me:
this is madness!
God:
You don't say.
Me:
THIS! IS! SPARTA!!!!
God:
This is " You don't say. ". No. Are we still talking about LOVE?
Me:
Very sexy love
God:
Somewhat. What do you consider sexy?
Me:
love
God:
Love is all we need.
Me:
it's sexy
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
ya rly
God:
How do you know it is? I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
I sent you a virus
God:
Thanks for the information: said sent you a virus.
Me:
you're going to die
God:
That will never happen.
Me:
where do we dine tonight?
God:
All over the world.
Me:
no, IN HELL
God:
Are you serious? Where is that?
Me:
hell is where Satan is
God:
I call it "Hades". Ask again later. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
uh oh...
God:
Ahem. It's all good.
Me:
I lost the game
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
get out of here, stalker
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
that's mama luigi to you, mario!
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Why are you so mean?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
Me:
How's York?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
York Hunt?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a robot
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity.
Me:
You're a sexist
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a sexist? Sometimes.
Me:
I killed a guy
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
He said he thought he was God
God:
Did you believe him?
Me:
no, i killed him
God:
Are you serious? You had better call the authorities.
Me:
They didn't believe me
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
"they" refering to the authorities
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
>.God:
Oh, you are a poet. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
300
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
Sparta
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
teh inturwebz
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Yes you do, a father too
God:
I understand. I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
YOU ARE THE FRUIT OF MY LOINS
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.


A longish chat I had with iGod

 

[PrepareYourself]

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