Best Friends

[Livvers]

You're adorable. How old are you? It's a bad idea because when there is a problem with your lover there is also a problem with your best friend. I'd bet there are stuff you can't tell him, but I'd need to know your age before I can make an argument for it.

I don't see how age has anything to do with that. At all.

Also, my fiance is my best friend, or else I wouldn't be marrying him. There is literally nothing I can't tell him. There are still things I haven't told my non-dating best friend.

If there's a problem with your lover/best friend, then you can either fix it or get a new one. Just because you consider your lover your *~*~best~*~* friend doesn't mean you don't have other good friends.

Also X1 is correct. Dark greens are 18+ and usually 20+. If they aren't, they at least act like they are.

 

[Merkuri]

^^ Geez, like I said women always seem to think their lover is their best friend It's actually something I've never heard a guy say.

Maybe I should have asked women in a relationship not to post in this thread, lol

 

[Dodongo]

You are pathetic.

 

[Jim Morrison]

^^ Geez, like I said women always seem to think their lover is their best friend It's actually something I've never heard a guy say.

Maybe I should have asked women in a relationship not to post in this thread, lol

Lover and best friends are 2 seperate things, but when your lover is your best friend as well, it's your partner.

And that's mostly how it should be.

 

[Merkuri]

You are pathetic.

I am pathetic because I offended you?

You are dumb.

 

[Dodongo]

No, because you are sexist. That's real objective of you.

 

[Merkuri]

Lover and best friends are 2 seperate things, but when your lover is your best friend as well, it's your partner.

And that's mostly how it should be.

My point is that many women fail to make the distinction between best friend and lover, they lack objectivity when it comes to relationships.

No, because you are sexist. That's real objective of you.

I'm not being sexist so much as I am making an observation. I'm not saying all women suffer from this problem, it's just the overwhelming majority of the ones I've met. Furthermore I have never seen a guy suffer from this problem.

 

[Livvers]

Ok. I'll make a distinction. Lover can be someone whom you have no real ties to emotionally and can be based only on a physical level. That's not a relationship.

A relationship will not work without complete trust of each other, and complete friendship. For you to think any differently shows you have never been in a real relationship. Or a relationship that will not last.

People with your deluded view of what belongs in a relationship is why our divorce rate is so high, particularly among young people. When lust and sex is gone, then what's left?

Having lived with the same person for 4 years probably gives me more credibility on this subject than you. Derp de der. But I'm a woman so I guess I dunno what I'm talking about.

Also: LOLOLOL =) Kawaii's got it. And Dongo, you are my love and my light

 

[DTP]

It's posts like the one above mine that make me long for a swf version of facebooks "like" button.

*Applauds*

 

[Crimson King]

I think my generalization was objective.

Also I think it's just a bad idea to have your lover and your best friend be one and the same. Who do you talk to the stuff you can't tell your lover about? Hell I don't even think you can be best friends with your lover.

If there are serious things you can't tell your "lover," then your relationship is doomed because you aren't going into it open. I have tons more I wouldn't tell my closest friends that I'd tell my "lover" just because she's proven her loyalty and earned my trust. Your comments are completely loltastic.

 

[Luigitoilet]

^^ Geez, like I said women always seem to think their lover is their best friend It's actually something I've never heard a guy say.

Maybe I should have asked women in a relationship not to post in this thread, lol

look at this guy

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Man womens sure aer DUMB LOL

They culdn't EVER understand uz supr smart men LOL



Isn't that right, Slaws?!

 

[Merkuri]

If there are serious things you can't tell your "lover," then your relationship is doomed because you aren't going into it open. I have tons more I wouldn't tell my closest friends that I'd tell my "lover" just because she's proven her loyalty and earned my trust. Your comments are completely loltastic.

Lol dumb. Obviously the things you can't tell your lover are things pertaining to the relationship. C'mon dude, think a little.

Man womens sure aer DUMB LOL

They culdn't EVER understand uz supr smart men LOL



Isn't that right, Slaws?!

I wouldn't go as far as to call them dumb, but they're often very senseless and the consistently think with their emotions instead of reason. It's very annoying actually.

Ok. I'll make a distinction. Lover can be someone whom you have no real ties to emotionally and can be based only on a physical level. That's not a relationship.

A relationship will not work without complete trust of each other, and complete friendship. For you to think any differently shows you have never been in a real relationship. Or a relationship that will not last.

People with your deluded view of what belongs in a relationship is why our divorce rate is so high, particularly among young people. When lust and sex is gone, then what's left?

Having lived with the same person for 4 years probably gives me more credibility on this subject than you. Derp de der. But I'm a woman so I guess I dunno what I'm talking about.

Also: LOLOLOL =) Kawaii's got it. And Dongo, you are my love and my light

I used the term lover to be inclusive of boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, and wife. Perhaps the term spouse would have been ore appropriate, but I was only referring to someone who you are in fact in a relationship with.

Your post seemed smart at first but after further review it has no substance. I never said anything about not trusting or not being friends with your partner; don't distort my argument. You didn't mention anything about being best friends with your spouse, you instead attack my character. All you have done is created a Strawman and Ad Hommeniem argument, whcih isn't a valid argument at all. I'm disappointed but you're a woman, so meh.

I'll say this again, my point is that woman are consistently unobjective when it comes to relationship and often deluded into believing that their best friend is also their lover, they fail to draw a distinction between the two and that annoys me.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Because things that are different are wrong.

 

[Crimson King]

Lol dumb. Obviously the things you can't tell your lover are things pertaining to the relationship. C'mon dude, think a little.

Are you still in high school? If I have a problem with the relationship, or she does, then we talk to each other about it. Keeping it secret let's doubts and problems cultivate, and they eventually end.

What do I know, I've just been in a long-term relationship for years.

 

[Luigitoilet]

Merkuri, please stop while you are behind. It's really embarassing.

 

[PD4FR]

Lol dumb. Obviously the things you can't tell your lover are things pertaining to the relationship. C'mon dude, think a little.

If you can't easily be open with your lover and tell them things, then the relationship is most likely going to crumble away.

CK, you're still a mod, but you're just not in the Senate, right?

 

[Crimson King]

I'm one of the few exceptions since I was an ex-admin.

Why?

 

[PD4FR]

I'm one of the few exceptions since I was an ex-admin.

Why?

Oh, I was just curious. I knew you were a mod, so the little postbit that usually means unmod caught my eye. Then I saw it say "Team-expired Senator", and I had never seen that before.

Thanks for informing me, though.

 

[Airgemini]

I was just wondering what was everyone thought about Best Friends? What separates them from other friends? What makes a good best friend? What does it take ruin these friendships, and what does it to take to keep these friendships strong?

I like my best friends. Two of my best friends I've known literally since I was born and the other since he was born. They're brother and sister but I consider myself to be related to them and I'm pretty sure they consider me almost like a brother in someway since we've literally grown up together since birth and still hang out. Our friendship is strong, we share many memories, and I'm grateful for it. I feel as though it's a somewhat rare special relationship. My other best friend that I met freshman year is 3rd but I can still tell her almost anything. Which, to me, separates friends and best friends. For me, what ruins friendships is scheduling. I make friends one year, but then the next if I don't have any classes with them, they tend to fade. Facebook is also a common foe with friend drama. It makes it hard to reconnect with them because you're so lost on what's going on with them that you don't really know where to start. I mean, they're still my friends, but they're friends that've came and gone. This incident happened to one of my middle school best friends. We've like, never had any classes. But still, I consider her above most of my "normal friends". To keep a friendship strong it requires a connection and dedication imo. Oh, and of course trust.

 

[Teran]

He's not a mod, he's part of the dev team now.

 

[Pikaville]

The development team I am very interested in joining.

 

[JPOBS]

i just wanted to drop in and say that "a best friend is someone you'd treat like family" is a very poor definition of a best friend.

family is nothing but blodd relation. The notion that everyone "loves" their family, and thus best friends you "love" should be considered family, is quite rediculous imo.

for most people, there is a high correlation between members of family, and being loved, however, being family is NOT a mandatory requirement for loving someone, or vice versa.

So, being a "best friend" is way more complex than "someone you would treat like family" and i think people who say that havent really thought all that strongly about it.

edit: on another note, while i dont completely agree with merkuri's argument, he does have a point in that women are in fact generally more irrational than men. It stems from a variety of evolutionary factors, as well as environmental pressures and stuff. theres like...studies and stuff of it. Im not sure how that relates to the misconception that their lover=their best friend, but there you go.

 

[X1-12]

Just curious...are you completely serious? Can you really tell that much from people based on there name color? I mean aside from what they do on the world smash forums? Because I have to say the generally speaking generalizations are bad and I am skeptical with out empirical data .

Seriously can you back up with what you say with data? That would be inserting with data.

Its just a trend I've noticed, Lime green (premie) often = under 18 too, adults generally have better things to spend their money on.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

I'm 18 and bought premium, are you implying that I'm not an adult? Or that I'm not smart enough to find "better things" to spend my money on?!


but not really mad.

 

[Merkuri]

Are you still in high school? If I have a problem with the relationship, or she does, then we talk to each other about it. Keeping it secret let's doubts and problems cultivate, and they eventually end.

What do I know, I've just been in a long-term relationship for years.

That works in some relationships, and in others it doesn't work. The fact that you've spent so much time in a long term relationship instead of dating a lot of people actually means you like insight into this topic. Your experiences are more limited to your long term girlfriend than they are to women as a whole

I watched this today and it's good example of what I'm talking about http://www.vh1.com/video/vh1-tough-love-2/full-episodes/daddy-issues-hd/1627622/playlist.jhtml, watch from 38 minutes onwards. There is nothing rational about her behavior.

Merkuri, please stop while you are behind. It's really embarassing.

If you don't actually have anything to contribute to this thread then I would appreciate it if you didn't post at all. Instead of saying I'm wrong, why don't you try pointing out the flaws in my argument? I find people like you to be funny because I'm soooooooo confident that you would do an awful at making a sensible criticism of what I'm saying.

General statement: I'm going to ask everyone to try and remain on topic. Please stop asking about who is a mod and who is not. Also I'm not sure this women are dumb argument is getting us anywhere. People are just defending women and forgetting the context of the argument. To those of you who were on topic I'll respond to later. I'm happy to see people posting about experiences about best friends again.

 

[PD4FR]

General statement: I'm going to ask everyone to try and remain on topic. Please stop asking about who is a mod and who is not.

My whole post wasn't dedicated to asking CK a question about a postbit, you know. I also made a statement relative to the discussion, so check your facts before you tell me to stay on topic.

Oh, and my other comment was a reply to a former admin, if that's the one you're referring to.

I can't load that video right now, but I recognize the name of a Reality TV show, which makes me doubt its credibility in this topic.

 

[X1-12]

I'm 18 and bought premium, are you implying that I'm not an adult? Or that I'm not smart enough to find "better things" to spend my money on?!


but not really mad.

Your name isn't lime green though so it doesn't count

 

[DtJ Jungle]

Every BRoomer (dark green name + Grimer postbit) is at least 18.

Though I'm pretty sure most of us are in our twenties.

If I remember correctly.

Marshy's like 15.

Your argument is invalid

 

[Osco316]

Marshy's like 15.

Your argument is invalid

you're on thin ice as it is, bud

 

[Merkuri]

I like my best friends. Two of my best friends I've known literally since I was born and the other since he was born. They're brother and sister but I consider myself to be related to them and I'm pretty sure they consider me almost like a brother in someway since we've literally grown up together since birth and still hang out. Our friendship is strong, we share many memories, and I'm grateful for it. I feel as though it's a somewhat rare special relationship. My other best friend that I met freshman year is 3rd but I can still tell her almost anything. Which, to me, separates friends and best friends. For me, what ruins friendships is scheduling. I make friends one year, but then the next if I don't have any classes with them, they tend to fade. Facebook is also a common foe with friend drama. It makes it hard to reconnect with them because you're so lost on what's going on with them that you don't really know where to start. I mean, they're still my friends, but they're friends that've came and gone. This incident happened to one of my middle school best friends. We've like, never had any classes. But still, I consider her above most of my "normal friends". To keep a friendship strong it requires a connection and dedication imo. Oh, and of course trust.

I like this post. I do agree that to keep a strong friendship requires dedication. It usually helps if you two share common interests so you can bump into each other fairly often. This year is the first time I've actually made an effort to invite my friends out to any meetings or events that I'm attending and I find it works.

i just wanted to drop in and say that "a best friend is someone you'd treat like family" is a very poor definition of a best friend.

family is nothing but blodd relation. The notion that everyone "loves" their family, and thus best friends you "love" should be considered family, is quite rediculous imo.

for most people, there is a high correlation between members of family, and being loved, however, being family is NOT a mandatory requirement for loving someone, or vice versa.

So, being a "best friend" is way more complex than "someone you would treat like family" and i think people who say that havent really thought all that strongly about it.

edit: on another note, while i dont completely agree with merkuri's argument, he does have a point in that women are in fact generally more irrational than men. It stems from a variety of evolutionary factors, as well as environmental pressures and stuff. theres like...studies and stuff of it. Im not sure how that relates to the misconception that their lover=their best friend, but there you go.

I usually disagree with this guy, but this is the most sensible post I've seen from him in a long time. I do not love my family, if I weren't dependent on my family then I would trade their lives for my closer friends without hesitation. And moreover I think it's because I don't love my family why I treasure my best friends so much, I have more love to give cuz I don't give any to my family; does anyone else find that they love their friends too much because they don't love their family?

 

[Mini Mic]

I have more love to give cuz I don't give any to my family; does anyone else find that they love their friends too much because they don't love their family?

Wait, people in this thread are arguing with this guy as if he's capable of rational though?

 

[Merkuri]

Wait, people in this thread are arguing with this guy as if he's capable of rational though?

What? You make it sound like I'm not capable of loving. I love my friends, and some of the other people I'm close with dearly.

Also I'm not sure why I'm spilling guts to people I don't know but, when I said family I meant my nuclear family. I love my some of my cousins quite a bit.

 

[Lythium]

I'm starting to realize that whenever this guy posts, I make this face:

ಠ_ಠ

 

[Merkuri]

^ Lol anyways lets stop talking about me and stick to the topic of this thread.

I don't really have anything to add but does anyone have an observation about their best friend or their relationship with their best friend that they'd like to talk about?

 

[Mini Mic]

No, I meant the idea that you have x amount of love and that by not loving your family there is a greater percentage of your total love stock available for friends is stupid.

 

[TigerWoods]

I'm starting to realize that whenever this guy posts, I make this face:

ಠ_ಠ

Except when I post... then you make this face:

:3c


Anyway my lover is my best friend. It's another guy too go figure!

Since were both guys we must obviously have the objectivity to distinguish between friend and lover.

 

[Merkuri]

No, I meant the idea that you have x amount of love and that by not loving your family there is a greater percentage of your total love stock available for friends is stupid.

It actually makes perfect sense to me. Human being are social creatures, we are designed to love. If you don't love family of course you're going to love others more. Geez, I mean how many studies are their on children who lack a parental figure and seek out that love elsewhere? I think you're the one being stupid.

Except when I post... then you make this face:

:3c


Anyway my lover is my best friend. It's another guy too go figure!

Since were both guys we must obviously have the objectivity to distinguish between friend and lover.

Haha, this sounds bigoted; but gay men and women aren't too far apart emotionally.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

You're right, it does sound bigoted! How odd!

 

[Crimson King]

Haha, this sounds bigoted; but gay men and women aren't too far apart emotionally.

That's like saying "I'm not racist but [insert racist comment.]" Just because you prepare the listener doesn't make your comment less bigoted.