I know I'm not likely to find someone I really like in school, but I still feel like a jerk friendzoning people because of my uncertainty. It not ****ing necessary, just because I'm insecure and tentative, someone that really likes me has to pay the price. It's so unfair, that I can barely look in the mirror anymore. I don't know who I am. I feel estranged from my identity.
I'm sorry to use "pathetic" to describe myself, but it's all I could think of. I gain all of my joy from entertaining others, and being a genial optimist for other people. I don't even hold grudges anymore. But when it comes to myself, I... I just don't know.
As for the girls, I figured that much, but I still want to give everyone a fair chance. Though, at the same time, I don't give anyone a chance at all. I haven't been in a relationship since the eighth grade, and after I broke up with her, after everything I said about us, I promised myself I would never let myself do such a thing ever again. I became bashful, and talked to little more than my circle of friends; this is when I got into the internet more. I like meeting people online, the only thing that hinders me is anonymity/not really knowing people. It can be a good and bad thing, as I can talk a lot more about potentially anything if I'm anonymous, whereas it's be detrimental when looking for a date.
![Applejack :applejack: :applejack:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/applejack.png)