Best Friends

[Sosuke]

The most important thing to me is my friendships. It is true that I do not have very many friends. I have found this to be the best way. Having many friends always seemed like a crazy idea to me. How can you be expected to give time to yourself and many friends without burning yourself out? My theory has a major flaw in it, which I am only just discovering. What happens when you discover that the few friends you have are people with whom you no longer have anything in common? This year (2010) has been a rather strange one for me. I have noticed my desires, wants, and wishes are shifting and changing. They no longer match what they have been for so many years before. This shifting is starting to cause cracks to appear in my friendships and creating a void between them and me. Have you ever experienced this and how did you get through it? The most striking thing that has happened is how I feel and view my friends. As cruel as this may appear, I am finding my friendships unfulfilling, uninspiring, unchallenging and boring. They are terribly stale. Is this normal and just something that comes and goes?



Turkish Boredom:
After spending the last two weeks in Turkey with three friends, it has seriously brought my feelings about my friendships to the centre of my thoughts. Very often, I was bored rigid with their company. They were happy to sit, read, eat, drink, sleep and read some more. I was craving stimulating conversation and exploring the area of Turkey we were staying in. How was I supposed to compete with Stephen King, James Herbert and J.R.R. Tolkien? Trust me, I tried but in the end, I was fed up with trying to start conversations. It was clear that out of the four of us I was the odd one. I desired conversation and interaction and they preferred solitude and to disappear into three different worlds of fiction. For me, the real world is far more interesting. The best time of the holiday for me was when I was alone and exploring the parts of Avsallar that are not frequented by Europeans. I discovered a very private and quiet Turkish village up in the mountains. I would love to have shared that with a friend - I was apparently on holiday with three people who hold the title of friend but the shops, drinking, pool and books were far more appealing than exploration, or my company. Am I reading into this all wrong or is it actually I that is the problem?


Facebook Coma:
When I returned to England, I discovered that my mental state did not change. When I logged onto Facebook I felt suddenly depressed just reading over what I missed over the two weeks I was away. It was clear that all I had missed was how drunk most "friends" had managed to get, what they had eaten, who they had had sex with, who had trashed who and what was happening on X Factor. I swear I felt a coma setting in. It was clear I had missed nothing. Can you relate or are we on very different pages? The only "friends" on Facebook that lifted my spirits were those who spoke of real issues, which added up to a couple of people. I have sat back and wondered if I have just grown into a bit of a snob but I think that is unfair because I cannot help what I find dull and boring. I simply cannot get all excited about getting drunk, eating like a pig or what is happening on X Factor. I certainly get nothing out of reading about sexual conquests. Does this make me a snob? I so hope you answer no to that question. Perhaps I am sad but I am more interested in what is happening to my friends on a far more personal level and yes, politics, world affairs, debates and current events do excite me a great deal more. When a friend wrote me about her son and another about his challenges in moving I was thrilled because that is what I crave in my friendships.


Death of Friendship:
I never enjoy ending a friendship because I love the person or we would not be friends in the first place. My problem is that I am beating myself up over the real motives behind my change of feelings. Why do I no longer find such trivial stuff that interesting and why do I crave more meaningful and "real" issues? Why do I instantly switch off and grow bored when I read or hear about sexual encounters, X Factor or how much drink a person has consumed in a very short space of time? Why do I look upon these people as tragic and sad and think they need to grow up and get a life? Is there a solution to this? Is it simply a case of I am changing and drifting away from my present friends or is there something else going on that I have overlooked? Is this something that has already happened to you? If so, how did you deal with it? Must I really take the drastic step of ending the friendships that no longer give me anything? The other fear is that I will simply end up being a lonely person because I will never find friends to whom I can relate. Clearly, the risk with this thought is that I settle for second or third best and remain unfulfilled, unchallenged, uninspired and very unhappy, which cannot be good. Whatever the solution or whatever happens it is clear that I am changing and my desires have shifted. I will never be able to get excited about sexual conquests, X Factor, Kylie, Madonna or how much drink a person has damaged their body with. Going out to gay bars and nightclubs will never excite me or interest me and I will always appear homophobic because of my alternative views. I guess I have to make some tough decisions or just accept the change and differences and see if I can make it all work. If you have been through this or are going through this I would be so happy to hear what you have to say and how you dealt with it.

 

[July]

Haha, this sounds bigoted; but gay men and women aren't too far apart emotionally.

Hmm, do you have any experience to support this claim? (that definitely comes across as bigoted)

It seems to me that you base your "objective" point of view on what limited experience you have or that you have observed, and thus draw vast generalizations like "women lack objectivity when it comes to relationships" and "gay men and women aren't too far apart emotionally." I assure you that you will meet men who say their significant other is their best friend, and gay men who are very emotionally different from women you know, it seems you just haven't yet. And you choose to ignore the input of women in relationships on here because they "lack objectivity", when really you just don't want them to challenge your point of view.

It seems like if you have so many opinions contrary to your own, even if you don't accept them you should at least respect the validity of what they say because they have different and possibly more vast experiences than you. After all, isn't the purpose of this thread to understand what other people think about best friends, not to just reinforce what you already hold true and dismiss everything else?

 

[Luigitoilet]

Hmm, do you have any experience to support this claim? (that definitely comes across as bigoted)

It seems to me that you base your "objective" point of view on what limited experience you have or that you have observed, and thus draw vast generalizations like "women lack objectivity when it comes to relationships" and "gay men and women aren't too far apart emotionally." I assure you that you will meet men who say their significant other is their best friend, and gay men who are very emotionally different from women you know, it seems you just haven't yet. And you choose to ignore the input of women in relationships on here because they "lack objectivity", when really you just don't want them to challenge your point of view.

It seems like if you have so many opinions contrary to your own, even if you don't accept them you should at least respect the validity of what they say because they have different and possibly more vast experiences than you. After all, isn't the purpose of this thread to understand what other people think about best friends, not to just reinforce what you already hold true and dismiss everything else?

Well said!

 

[Merkuri]

If anyone wants to continue this talk about women and gay people then let's do it over pms please, and not in this thread. I don't have the time to make a long response to anyone today so give me until tomorrow to refute things, or to respond to thoughtful on topic posts in this thread.

 

[DTP]

Hmm, do you have any experience to support this claim? (that definitely comes across as bigoted)

It seems to me that you base your "objective" point of view on what limited experience you have or that you have observed, and thus draw vast generalizations like "women lack objectivity when it comes to relationships" and "gay men and women aren't too far apart emotionally." I assure you that you will meet men who say their significant other is their best friend, and gay men who are very emotionally different from women you know, it seems you just haven't yet. And you choose to ignore the input of women in relationships on here because they "lack objectivity", when really you just don't want them to challenge your point of view.

It seems like if you have so many opinions contrary to your own, even if you don't accept them you should at least respect the validity of what they say because they have different and possibly more vast experiences than you. After all, isn't the purpose of this thread to understand what other people think about best friends, not to just reinforce what you already hold true and dismiss everything else?

Well said!

Oh wow I agree. I love this post Aiclia. You worded it perfectly <3

 

[Mota]

Good stuff Sauce.

I feel I'm slowly getting to that stage too with the ending of high school, there are few I really consider friends

 

[TigerWoods]

Haha, this sounds bigoted; but gay men and women aren't too far apart emotionally.

You got me there. I watch "The Good Wife" nightly and I cry over sad romantic movies. I'm also a part-time fasion designer and hair dresser. I will die of AIDS. The saddest part was I was turned gay by playin with too many barbie dolls as a kid...



Seriously man, I'd totally hate to detract from the subject but I really need to say this.Don't stereotype... ever. You WILL piss people off.


I play lacrosse. I hate shopping. I enjoy lifting. I can't watch any "women's shows" without promptly regurgitating afterwards. I love wrestling. I hate rainbows. I don't talk with a lisp. I am not effeminate nor am I intersted in guys who are effeminate. I am even mistaken for being straight in public...

....and despite all this, I am 100% gay.
​

You should learn more about the world and others before you make generalizations. You have every right to an opinion, but don't be surprised when people shoot down something faulty that you say when you try to pass it as fact.

The most important thing to me is my friendships. It is true that I do not have very many friends. I have found this to be the best way. Having many friends always seemed like a crazy idea to me. How can you be expected to give time to yourself and many friends without burning yourself out? My theory has a major flaw in it, which I am only just discovering. What happens when you discover that the few friends you have are people with whom you no longer have anything in common? This year (2010) has been a rather strange one for me. I have noticed my desires, wants, and wishes are shifting and changing. They no longer match what they have been for so many years before. This shifting is starting to cause cracks to appear in my friendships and creating a void between them and me. Have you ever experienced this and how did you get through it? The most striking thing that has happened is how I feel and view my friends. As cruel as this may appear, I am finding my friendships unfulfilling, uninspiring, unchallenging and boring. They are terribly stale. Is this normal and just something that comes and goes?



Turkish Boredom:
After spending the last two weeks in Turkey with three friends, it has seriously brought my feelings about my friendships to the centre of my thoughts. Very often, I was bored rigid with their company. They were happy to sit, read, eat, drink, sleep and read some more. I was craving stimulating conversation and exploring the area of Turkey we were staying in. How was I supposed to compete with Stephen King, James Herbert and J.R.R. Tolkien? Trust me, I tried but in the end, I was fed up with trying to start conversations. It was clear that out of the four of us I was the odd one. I desired conversation and interaction and they preferred solitude and to disappear into three different worlds of fiction. For me, the real world is far more interesting. The best time of the holiday for me was when I was alone and exploring the parts of Avsallar that are not frequented by Europeans. I discovered a very private and quiet Turkish village up in the mountains. I would love to have shared that with a friend - I was apparently on holiday with three people who hold the title of friend but the shops, drinking, pool and books were far more appealing than exploration, or my company. Am I reading into this all wrong or is it actually I that is the problem?


Facebook Coma:
When I returned to England, I discovered that my mental state did not change. When I logged onto Facebook I felt suddenly depressed just reading over what I missed over the two weeks I was away. It was clear that all I had missed was how drunk most "friends" had managed to get, what they had eaten, who they had had sex with, who had trashed who and what was happening on X Factor. I swear I felt a coma setting in. It was clear I had missed nothing. Can you relate or are we on very different pages? The only "friends" on Facebook that lifted my spirits were those who spoke of real issues, which added up to a couple of people. I have sat back and wondered if I have just grown into a bit of a snob but I think that is unfair because I cannot help what I find dull and boring. I simply cannot get all excited about getting drunk, eating like a pig or what is happening on X Factor. I certainly get nothing out of reading about sexual conquests. Does this make me a snob? I so hope you answer no to that question. Perhaps I am sad but I am more interested in what is happening to my friends on a far more personal level and yes, politics, world affairs, debates and current events do excite me a great deal more. When a friend wrote me about her son and another about his challenges in moving I was thrilled because that is what I crave in my friendships.


Death of Friendship:
I never enjoy ending a friendship because I love the person or we would not be friends in the first place. My problem is that I am beating myself up over the real motives behind my change of feelings. Why do I no longer find such trivial stuff that interesting and why do I crave more meaningful and "real" issues? Why do I instantly switch off and grow bored when I read or hear about sexual encounters, X Factor or how much drink a person has consumed in a very short space of time? Why do I look upon these people as tragic and sad and think they need to grow up and get a life? Is there a solution to this? Is it simply a case of I am changing and drifting away from my present friends or is there something else going on that I have overlooked? Is this something that has already happened to you? If so, how did you deal with it? Must I really take the drastic step of ending the friendships that no longer give me anything? The other fear is that I will simply end up being a lonely person because I will never find friends to whom I can relate. Clearly, the risk with this thought is that I settle for second or third best and remain unfulfilled, unchallenged, uninspired and very unhappy, which cannot be good. Whatever the solution or whatever happens it is clear that I am changing and my desires have shifted. I will never be able to get excited about sexual conquests, X Factor, Kylie, Madonna or how much drink a person has damaged their body with. Going out to gay bars and nightclubs will never excite me or interest me and I will always appear homophobic because of my alternative views. I guess I have to make some tough decisions or just accept the change and differences and see if I can make it all work. If you have been through this or are going through this I would be so happy to hear what you have to say and how you dealt with it.

I actually feel you there. I used to think I had tons of friends, but then I realized all of them weren't anything more than my acquaintences. They aren't concerned with the important things in life and moments with them are usually fleeting. I even lost interest in some of the people I considered to be my best friends in highschool.

Though I felt depressed at realizing this at first, I became a bit happier. I realized I had a about 7 people in my life, spread around the world, that truly cared about me and would stick with me through thick and thin. These are the 7 people I couldn't imagine ever not talking to again.

It's true... quality of friends > quantity!

EDIT: By notice of glyph... Touche sauce... touche

Nonetheless I still have my point

 

[Merkuri]

That's like saying "I'm not racist but [insert racist comment.]" Just because you prepare the listener doesn't make your comment less bigoted.

Actually some comments seem racist when they really aren't. It's like saying in California Hispanics are responsible for more crime per capita than any other race, this sounds racist right? But it also happens to be a statistical fact. I really hate when people bring their sensitivities in the argument, please don't do that(yes I'm speaking to everyone), it's just annoying.

The most important thing to me is my friendships. It is true that I do not have very many friends. I have found this to be the best way. Having many friends always seemed like a crazy idea to me. How can you be expected to give time to yourself and many friends without burning yourself out? My theory has a major flaw in it, which I am only just discovering. What happens when you discover that the few friends you have are people with whom you no longer have anything in common? This year (2010) has been a rather strange one for me. I have noticed my desires, wants, and wishes are shifting and changing. They no longer match what they have been for so many years before. This shifting is starting to cause cracks to appear in my friendships and creating a void between them and me. Have you ever experienced this and how did you get through it? The most striking thing that has happened is how I feel and view my friends. As cruel as this may appear, I am finding my friendships unfulfilling, uninspiring, unchallenging and boring. They are terribly stale. Is this normal and just something that comes and goes?



Turkish Boredom:
After spending the last two weeks in Turkey with three friends, it has seriously brought my feelings about my friendships to the centre of my thoughts. Very often, I was bored rigid with their company. They were happy to sit, read, eat, drink, sleep and read some more. I was craving stimulating conversation and exploring the area of Turkey we were staying in. How was I supposed to compete with Stephen King, James Herbert and J.R.R. Tolkien? Trust me, I tried but in the end, I was fed up with trying to start conversations. It was clear that out of the four of us I was the odd one. I desired conversation and interaction and they preferred solitude and to disappear into three different worlds of fiction. For me, the real world is far more interesting. The best time of the holiday for me was when I was alone and exploring the parts of Avsallar that are not frequented by Europeans. I discovered a very private and quiet Turkish village up in the mountains. I would love to have shared that with a friend - I was apparently on holiday with three people who hold the title of friend but the shops, drinking, pool and books were far more appealing than exploration, or my company. Am I reading into this all wrong or is it actually I that is the problem?


Facebook Coma:
When I returned to England, I discovered that my mental state did not change. When I logged onto Facebook I felt suddenly depressed just reading over what I missed over the two weeks I was away. It was clear that all I had missed was how drunk most "friends" had managed to get, what they had eaten, who they had had sex with, who had trashed who and what was happening on X Factor. I swear I felt a coma setting in. It was clear I had missed nothing. Can you relate or are we on very different pages? The only "friends" on Facebook that lifted my spirits were those who spoke of real issues, which added up to a couple of people. I have sat back and wondered if I have just grown into a bit of a snob but I think that is unfair because I cannot help what I find dull and boring. I simply cannot get all excited about getting drunk, eating like a pig or what is happening on X Factor. I certainly get nothing out of reading about sexual conquests. Does this make me a snob? I so hope you answer no to that question. Perhaps I am sad but I am more interested in what is happening to my friends on a far more personal level and yes, politics, world affairs, debates and current events do excite me a great deal more. When a friend wrote me about her son and another about his challenges in moving I was thrilled because that is what I crave in my friendships.


Death of Friendship:
I never enjoy ending a friendship because I love the person or we would not be friends in the first place. My problem is that I am beating myself up over the real motives behind my change of feelings. Why do I no longer find such trivial stuff that interesting and why do I crave more meaningful and "real" issues? Why do I instantly switch off and grow bored when I read or hear about sexual encounters, X Factor or how much drink a person has consumed in a very short space of time? Why do I look upon these people as tragic and sad and think they need to grow up and get a life? Is there a solution to this? Is it simply a case of I am changing and drifting away from my present friends or is there something else going on that I have overlooked? Is this something that has already happened to you? If so, how did you deal with it? Must I really take the drastic step of ending the friendships that no longer give me anything? The other fear is that I will simply end up being a lonely person because I will never find friends to whom I can relate. Clearly, the risk with this thought is that I settle for second or third best and remain unfulfilled, unchallenged, uninspired and very unhappy, which cannot be good. Whatever the solution or whatever happens it is clear that I am changing and my desires have shifted. I will never be able to get excited about sexual conquests, X Factor, Kylie, Madonna or how much drink a person has damaged their body with. Going out to gay bars and nightclubs will never excite me or interest me and I will always appear homophobic because of my alternative views. I guess I have to make some tough decisions or just accept the change and differences and see if I can make it all work. If you have been through this or are going through this I would be so happy to hear what you have to say and how you dealt with it.

Awesome post bro. As you've probably guessed, the reason why you no longer find those things interesting is because you're maturing, very few adults find how others have much others have gotten drunk and what's happening on X factor to be thrilling. Don't blame yourself over that, and I totally get not wanting to break friendships. I've lost some very important friends and I regret not doing things to save those friendships now, so I try harder to holder on to the friendships I still have, so I think I can relate to what you're going through.

What's important here though is you distinguish between the friends you hold on to because there is a still a friendship their and the friendships you hold on to simply because you still fond of that given person. If there is still a valid friendship there then hold on to it, but don't try to maintain an imaginary friendship with someone, who you've already grown apart from, share nothing in common with and longer enjoy his/her company. What is that going to lead to? You continuing to pretend to be friends with someone who you still fond of but no longer like(like their character traits, their persona, etc)? It can be tough to swallow but their really is no pointy doing that. Also you don't really have to break your friendships with them, just hang out with less and seek new friends, you'll eventually grow apart and make new friends.

But here is something important to keep in mind, to avoid making this mistake in the future, don't just become friends with someone because the opportunity presents itself. And by friend here I mean someone you're willing to get close to and not just some associate who you're familiar enough with to borrow a book or something. Choose your friends wisely, try to find people who are engaging and of common interests or you'll just find yourself back where you started. I chose to make few friends and I'm happy for it because the friends I do make are awesome and I enjoy the company of everyone of them. Making new good friends isn't hard, and I'm telling you that from experience.

I'll respond to everyone else tonight.

 

[TigerWoods]

Actually some comments seem racist when they really aren't. It's like saying in California Hispanics are responsible for more crime per capita than any other race, this sounds racist right? But it also happens to be a statistical fact. I really hate when people bring their sensitivities in the argument, please don't do that(yes I'm speaking to everyone), it's just annoying.

So then, support your claim that women lack objectivity and gay men are emotionally like women with appropriate evidence.

By the way, I'm not being sensitive... I just find posts by people who lack the objectivity to see the world from another person's point of view to be quite hysterical. I also hate when someone makes a sweeping generalization and tries to pass it off as fact. If you have an opinon, then say it's your opinion. If you have a fact, back it up with evidence.

 

[DtJ Jungle]

SosK spits some truths. He should write a blog, or use Xanga or something.

 

[Fried Ice Cream]

I feel like I have already read what SosK posted somewhere else :|.

 

[TigerWoods]

I feel like I have already read what SosK posted somewhere else :|.

+rep you. You are very perceptive XD.

Check the teal edit on my response to him

 

[Merkuri]

So then, support your claim that women lack objectivity and gay men are emotionally like women with appropriate evidence.

By the way, I'm not being sensitive... I just find posts by people who lack the objectivity to see the world from another person's point of view to be quite hysterical. I also hate when someone makes a sweeping generalization and tries to pass it off as fact. If you have an opinon, then say it's your opinion. If you have a fact, back it up with evidence.

Lol, I'm not sure how to interpret posts like this. I was never trying to pass of the notion that gay males are more emotional than straight males as a fact, I was passing it off as common knowledge. I understand that people within a certain group hate being stereotyped, and try to pass off all of stereotypes associated with their group as false, but it gets to the point where you just become stupid. It's like you saying that the average gay male isn't more flamboyant than the average straight male, WTF? I understand everyone hates prejudice but when people argue things like that they are just being stupid, and I find it annoying. Also that sensitivities comment wasn't direct at you.

On topic: So you remember that girl I was so crazy about because I thought she'd make the perfect new best friend for me? After getting know her a bit more, I realize that she can be quite insensitive. I like it when my friends are a genuine, but she's s a bit too much. When I'm complaining about something it'd be really cool if she could try to alleviate my stress instead of saying things like ''well life isn't fair''.

Also she is one of those people who won't help you out even her closest friends if she disagrees with what they are doing on principle(and she disagrees with a lot of things). For example if I had an exfriend's red gameboy, and I wanted to trade with her blue gameboy so that the ex-friend wouldn't recognize the gameboy if he saw me with it, she wouldn't do that for me simply because she thinks I should give the gameboy back. If our roles were reversed I'd do it for her without hesitation. It just annoys me, because the good qualities she lacks, my other close friends have, but I don't see my other close friends that much while I see her all the time. It's like I just can't find that perfect best friend

 

[Teran]

Haha, this sounds bigoted; but gay men and women aren't too far apart emotionally.

What makes me lol is how big a bunch of pansies guys are when they've got a girl. So yeah, I guess being able to lead your partner around on a leash is a common trait.

High five SWF skanks.

 

[Pikaville]

I'm not even sure Merkuri is from the same planet as us anymore.

 

[Luigitoilet]

why isn't there a "bigot" infraction button :<

 

[deepseadiva]

I was never trying to pass of the notion that gay males are more emotional than straight males as a fact, I was passing it off as common knowledge.

Wooooooooow

 

[Pikaville]

I know it's painful to read.....

 

[TigerWoods]

I was never trying to pass of the notion that gay males are more emotional than straight males as a fact, I was passing it off as common knowledge.

^ So much fail hahahahahaha



I dare say most of the gay people I meet are fitness trainers/collegiate athletes.

The MAJORITY of gay people aren't like the small percentage of flamboyant gays. Heck I know plenty more straight men that are more feminine than gay people I know. Meet some gay people.

 

[Crimson King]

Someone should give the thread starter the ol' one-two. (few will remember this Matt reference)

 

[TigerWoods]

Honestly I like this thread. The concept of it anyway; it's a place to discuss friendships!

The thread starter has lost his touch though... hahaha.

 

[JPOBS]

to sosk's post:

i think you're placing a lot of emphasis on unnecessary distictions between what is "important" in life.

the one sentence which really stood out to me is "why do i look on these people as tragic and sad"
You're implying that certain interests are intrinsically of lesser value than other interests.
You basically group things like sexual conquests, drinking etc, as some sort of inferior interests to your own, as if there is some objective and true way to determine which things in life matter more than others (which there isnt)

and to everyone who responded with something along the lines of "indeed, you're maturing, you have the correct morals"....you're all dumb :/

Anyway, in closing, I'd like to say that Sosk, you're different interests may be unique but there are certainly people who you may meet who share them, but your current friends do not. Keep searching and you will find. Otherwise, dont pretend that things you are interested in are intrinsically of greater worth than other peoples interests.

 

[Lythium]

lol, i'm not sure how to interpret posts like this. I was never trying to pass of the notion that gay males are more emotional than straight males as a fact, i was passing it off as common knowledge.

ಠ_ ಠ

 

[DTP]

lol Merkuri is a decent troll

 

[Luigitoilet]

to sosk's post:

i think you're placing a lot of emphasis on unnecessary distictions between what is "important" in life.

the one sentence which really stood out to me is "why do i look on these people as tragic and sad"
You're implying that certain interests are intrinsically of lesser value than other interests.
You basically group things like sexual conquests, drinking etc, as some sort of inferior interests to your own, as if there is some objective and true way to determine which things in life matter more than others (which there isnt)

and to everyone who responded with something along the lines of "indeed, you're maturing, you have the correct morals"....you're all dumb :/

Anyway, in closing, I'd like to say that Sosk, you're different interests may be unique but there are certainly people who you may meet who share them, but your current friends do not. Keep searching and you will find. Otherwise, dont pretend that things you are interested in are intrinsically of greater worth than other peoples interests.

I agree. I can't judge ANYONE for their lifestyle choices, and honestly nobody is in a position to do that.

 

[Rici]

Someone should give the thread starter the ol' one-two. (few will remember this Matt reference)

DAMMIT, I know what you are talking about but I totally forgot the saying.

I MUST FIND IT!

 

[Merkuri]

^ So much fail hahahahahaha



I dare say most of the gay people I meet are fitness trainers/collegiate athletes.

The MAJORITY of gay people aren't like the small percentage of flamboyant gays. Heck I know plenty more straight men that are more feminine than gay people I know. Meet some gay people.

Lol you're dumb. Tell me are you saying that on average gay males aren't more flamboyant than straight men? I notice you cleverly dodged the question.

I find it funny everyone in this thread is defending gay people and trying to single me out and yet they would all agree(assuming they're not ******** of course) that on average gay men are more flamboyant than straight men. Geez people, at least try to be consistent with your logic.

And yeah this is a a great thread, but enough of this gay talk already. I already did my spectacular debate on the problems with homosexuality in the something bothering you thread, I'm really not interested in doing it again.

 

[PD4FR]

Lol you're dumb. Tell me are you saying that on average gay males aren't more flamboyant than straight men? I notice you cleverly dodged the question.

I find it funny everyone in this thread is defending gay people and trying to single me out and yet they would all agree(assuming they're not ******** of course) that on average gay men are more flamboyant than straight men. Geez people, at least try to be consistent with your logic.

And yeah this is a a great thread, but enough of this gay talk already. I already did my spectacular debate on the problems with homosexuality in the something bothering you thread, I'm really not interested in doing it again.

You can't just call us "********" and then expect us to leave you alone about the matter, now, can you?

Besides, how would you know how the "average gay male" acts? It looks to me like you are stereotyping groups of people. For the record, that is not a good thing.

 

[Merkuri]

You can't just call us "********" and then expect us to leave you alone about the matter, now, can you?

Besides, how would you know how the "average gay male" acts? It looks to me like you are stereotyping groups of people. For the record, that is not a good thing.

Still can't answer the question eh?

Edit: And I'm not actually stereotyping. It's common knowledge that gaymen are typically more flamboyant than straight men. Lol and it's almost common knowledge that on average gay men speak in a higher pitch than straight men lmao

 

[PD4FR]

Still can't answer the question eh?

Edit: And I'm not actually stereotyping. It's common knowledge that gaymen are typically more flamboyant than straight men. Lol and it's almost common knowledge that on average gay men speak in a higher pitch than straight men lmao

First off, I didn't really notice the question, so I'll look back for it in a second.

Also, I'd love to see your sources. Personal experience doesn't count, by the way.

Edit - Is the question you're talking about when you asked us if we thought gays were more flamboyant or not?

I'm pretty sure it's impossible to say, because:

1. Where would you even get this data? If you're only basing it off of people you know, then that doesn't count.
2. Not all gay people admit they're gay, so you can't even include them in your analysis of gay behavior.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

You're throwing "common knowledge" around a lot, but I don't get the impression that you grasp what common knowledge is.

When was the last time you heard a political candidate cite "common knowledge" in a debate? A while? Ever? That's because its a bad idea. All that phrase entails is that something has been said so many times that its become an accepted truth. It used to be common knowledge that the Earth was flat, and I thought it was common knowledge that Rosa Parks was sitting at the front of the bus.

Turns out the world is round, and Rosa Parks was sitting in the middle of the bus (front of the "colored section", but still an interesting note for someone who had been simply told the front of the bus since childhood).


To summarize, pretty much all of your arguments are making you come across as someone who is very bigoted and probably not very cool.

EDIT: How can something be almost common knowledge? Besides, pitch of a voice has nothing to do with sexuality.

 

[Merkuri]

First off, I wasn't here for the question, so I'll look back for it in a second.

Also, I'd love to see your sources. Personal experience doesn't count, by the way.

Edit - Is the question you're talking about when you asked us if we thought gays were more flamboyant or not?

I'm pretty sure it's impossible to say, because:

1. Where would you even get this data? If you're only basing it off of people you know, then that doesn't count.
2. Not all gay people admit they're gay, so you can't even include them in your analysis of gay behavior.

Wow! I cannot believe you responded to me a second time without answering my question. Your intent here is obvious. I won't even bother asking you a third time

edit: I originally answered your questions, but somehow I feel insulted answering your questions when you blatantly ignore mine.

On topic: While we're on this topic, that girl who I want to be best friends with was originally best friends with a gay person, it turns out that she is spending less time with him so she can get closer to me. My question here is: is stealing someone else's best friend morally wrong? It wasn't really intentional on my part.

 

[PD4FR]

You can not just use "common sense" as proof for gay males being more flamboyant. Common sense has been proven wrong many times in history.

Besides, I did answer your question. I said it can't be answered; therefore, you didn't get a yes or no, but you did get an answer from me.

As for your question, I think it's only wrong if you're doing it to purposely hurt the friend that's being left out.
You didn't do anything wrong: people change friends all the time.

 

[Merkuri]

double post. whoops.

 

[Merkuri]

You're throwing "common knowledge" around a lot, but I don't get the impression that you grasp what common knowledge is.

When was the last time you heard a political candidate cite "common knowledge" in a debate? A while? Thats because its a bad idea. All that phrase entails is that something has been said so many times that its become an accepted truth. It used to be common knowledge that the Earth was flat, and I thought it was common knowledge that Rosa Parks was sitting at the front of the bus.

Turns out the world is round, and Rosa Parks was sitting in the middle of the bus (front of the "colored section", but still an interesting note for someone who had been simply told the front of the bus since childhood).


To summarize, pretty much all of your arguments are making you come across as someone who is very bigoted and probably not very cool.

Politicians don't use common knowledge in debates because common knowledge has no place in politics. Geographers(I'm a geography major) actually cite common knowledge a lot. A common one being China has approximately 1 billion more people than America, it could very well be false, but for the sake of most arguments the distinction hardly matters.

Even you chose not to answer my question. On average are gay men more flamboyant than straight men? And on average do gay men speak in higher pitches than straight men.

Common knowledge is not fact, in fact I actually made a distinction between the two earlier, so I your Rosa parks and earth is round analogy doesn't apply to me.

The reason why think the lot of you are being dumb, is because I'm not saying all gay men are flamboyant and emotional. I'm saying a lot of them are, there is a very big difference between a generalization and an absolution. You guys are so blinded by your own sensitive opinions that you can't see this. Logically there is nothing bigoted about what I have said.

You can not just use "common sense" as proof for gay males being more flamboyant. Common sense has been proven wrong many times in history.

Besides, I did answer your question. I said it can't be answered; therefore, you didn't get a yes or no, but you did get an answer from me.

As for your question, I think it's only wrong if you're doing it to purposely hurt the friend that's being left out.
You didn't do anything wrong: people change friends all the time.

smh I didn't try to prove anything. I cited common knowledge. Go back and read pages dude.

In the absence of all other evidence it's stupid to say common sense is invalid. If I jump into a shark infested water chances are I'm gonna get hurt. It is possible that there is a chemical in the water which prevents the sharks from detecting me, it is possible that these sharks are sick and therefore can't swim far enough to bite me. Since there is absolutely no
evidence suggesting that our common sense is wrong, then I ask what makes our common sense weightless in this argument?

Also forget about proving anything. What does your common sense tell you? Are gay men typically more flamboyant than straight men? Do gay men typically speak in a higher pitch than straigh men?

 

[PD4FR]

The reason why think the lot of you are being dumb, is because I'm not saying all gay men are flamboyant and emotional. I'm saying a lot of them are, there is a very big difference between a generalization and an absolution. You guys are so blinded by your own sensitive opinions that you can't see this. Logically there is nothing bigoted about what I have said.

I never said that you said all gay men are flamboyant. I just said it's stereotypical of you to call the average man flamboyant and high-pitched.

Oh, and up until now I didn't see your "high-pitched" question. My answer is the same on this one, too: you would have to stereotype to say answer this, unless God magically told us who every gay man in the world was and if they speak with high voices. Therefore, this can't be answered without stereotyping.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

 

[Luigitoilet]

Politicians don't use common knowledge in debates because common knowledge has no place in politics. Geographers(I'm a geography major) actually cite common knowledge a lot. A common one being China has approximately 1 billion more people than America, it could very well be false, but for the sake of most arguments the distinction hardly matters.

Even you chose not to answer my question. On average are gay men more flamboyant than straight men? And on average do gay men speak in higher pitches than straight men.

Common knowledge is not fact, in fact I actually made a distinction between the two earlier, so I your Rosa parks and earth is round analogy doesn't apply to me.

The reason why think the lot of you are being dumb, is because I'm not saying all gay men are flamboyant and emotional. I'm saying a lot of them are, there is a very big difference between a generalization and an absolution. You guys are so blinded by your own sensitive opinions that you can't see this. Logically there is nothing bigoted about what I have said.

In general, black people tend to be thieves and drug addicts.

Not a bigot, but Jewish people tend to be a lot more greedy and money-pinching than non-Jews. This is just common knowledge.

In general, women tend to be stupid-

oh wait, you actually said that last one already.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Double ninja'd! Oh well.

Oh so because its okay in geography, you can apply it to a debate on people too! Besides, politics never have to do with things that involve gay people!

And see that whole population argument you have there, that's not common sense. That's based off of censuses and other means of gauging large numbers of people. You know, science and the likes.

And I didn't answer your question? I'm so very sorry! I'll do so right now!

"On average, are gay men more flamboyant than straight men?"

Hang on, I'm off to survey every gay man alive right now.

...

Okay back, turns out they all said its impossible to get a figure on that because you HAVE NO WAY TO TELL. For every flamboyant gay out there, there could be two seemingly regular guys who don't even show that they're gay.

Same thing to the second question.

And I'd love to hear how my argument doesn't apply to you because you made a distinction earlier. With detail, please.

 

[Luigitoilet]

I've never seen a person completely demolish their own thread so thoroughly. It's entertaining, but unfortunate because this was a good thread before Merk brought his biases into it.

 

[Merkuri]

I never said that you said all gay men are flamboyant. I just said it's stereotypical of you to call the average man flamboyant and high-pitched.

Oh, and up until now I didn't see your "high-pitched" question. My answer is the same on this one, too: you would have to stereotype to say answer this, unless God magically told us who every gay man in the world was and if they speak with high voices. Therefore, this can't be answered without stereotyping.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

Right, but again I wasn't saying that gay men are flamboyant and high pitched, I'm saying that on average gay men are more flamboyant and high pitched than straight men. And I'm amazed you still haven't deduced this.

Do you see how you've been dumb up until now?

I think I'll just incorporate my responses to other people in this post, instead of continuing to make new posts. And don't worry about the thread, after we're pass this dumb discussion things will be back to normal. I actually kind of like this now.

In general, black people tend to be thieves and drug addicts.

Not a bigot, but Jewish people tend to be a lot more greedy and money-pinching than non-Jews. This is just common knowledge.

In general, women tend to be stupid-

oh wait, you actually said that last one already.

*gives applause* you actually made a point instead of just piggy backing off of what someone else said or making a one liner. I didn't know you had it in you.

You first statement would not had been biggoted had you compared them to white people, especially in an urbanized city like New York city(are you starting to get the difference now?)

That Jewish stereotype is a just a cultural trait that has remained since past society, in this past you could have made such an argument. Not so much anymore.

And what makes it not bigoted is that I'm not making a claim that everyone in this group are a certain way, I'm just making a claim that they are more this way than people in other groups. Another good example would be People in New York City aren't as wealthy as people in New Orleans aren't as wealthy as people in San Fransico, does it apply to everyone in the two groups? No? Does it apply to the majority? As far as any sensible person is concerned, yeah.[/QUOTE]