Man.
Why is it outside outside of a few of you guys here and my best friend IRL it's so ****ing hard to be friends with anyone else? I'm so tired of some things. Feels like I have to beg the world to like me.
It does my head in.
I wouldn't give yourself a hard time. The continuous pursuit of validation from others, at least when I was growing up, was one of the sources of my pain and despair. Fitting in to be loved, where they've never had my back to begin with, was miserable for me. Reflecting on being called a future suspect for hardly socializing, low impulse control from being violent toward nuisances, or a sociopathic/psychopathic child was a bit hurtful.
Mainstream concepts or appeasing to the majority, isn't what it's cracked up to be. I find that living a rebel life, especially the on-going attacks and incrimination of my LGBTQ community in specific continents/countries, I'm not missing anything from them, personally.
Regardless of who you are and how much you go out of your way to help most people locally, it speaks volumes of how most of the world will treat you, and the optimism of being treated as you want to be treated won't be in your favor. I had to learn this the hard way, which is okay to accept.