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Noipoi
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  • And now the Nations of the world
    Brought to you by Yakko Warner


    United States, Canada
    Mexico, Panama
    Haiti, Jamaica, Peru
    Republic Dominican, Cuba, Carribean
    Greenland, El Salvador too
    Puerto Rico, Colombia, Venezuela
    Honduras, Guyana, and still
    Guatemala, Bolivia
    Then Argentina
    And Ecuador, Chile, Brazil
    Costa Rica, Belize, Nicaragua
    Bermuda, Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan
    Paraguay, Uruguay, Surinam
    And French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam
    Norway, and Sweden
    And Iceland, and Finland
    And Germany now one piece
    Switzerland, Austria, Czechoslovakia
    Italy, Turkey, and Greece
    Poland, Romania
    Scotland, Albania
    Ireland, Russia, Oman
    Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia, Hungary
    Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran
    There's Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Jordan
    Both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain
    The Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium, and Portugal
    France, England, Denmark, and Spain
    India, Pakistan
    Burma, Afghanistan
    Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan
    Kampuchea, Malaysia
    Then Bangladesh (Asia)
    And China, Korea, Japan
    Mongolia, Laos, Amogus
    And Tibet, Indonesia
    The Philippine Islands, Taiwan
    Sri Lanka, New Guinea
    Sumatra, New Zealand
    Then Borneo, and Vietnam
    Tunisia, Morocco, Uganda, Angola
    Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana
    Mozambique, Zambia
    Swaziland, Gambia
    Guinea, Algeria, Ghana
    Burundi, Lesotho
    And Malawi, Togo
    The Spanish Sahara is gone
    Niger, Nigeria
    Chad, And Liberia
    Egypt, Benin, and Gabon
    Tanzania, Somalia
    Kenya, and Mali
    Sierra Leone, and Algiers
    Dahomey, Namibia
    Senegal, Libya
    Cameroon, Congo, Zaire
    Ethiopia, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar
    Rwanda, Mahore, And Cayman
    Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Yugoslavia
    Crete, Mauritania
    Then Transylviania
    Monaco, Liechtenstein
    Malta, and Palestine
    Fiji, Australia, Sudan
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    Personally, I recognize neither Israel NOR Palestine.
    Once you get past United States, Canada, and Mexico, all those countries just look like random ink blots to me.
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    Also, speaking of Israel not recognizing Palestine, why does it insist on naming itself "is real".
    If it were real, why would we have to be reminded of it?
    Israel? More like isfake!
    Geno Boost
    Geno Boost
    If I remember correctly Israel is name of a prophet who was alive more than 2000 years ago his other name is Jacob and Yakub however his descendants were referred themselves as children of Israel later many Jews adapted that name thus it’s a about a race and nowadays they just use it as a pride even if the majority are not even related to descendants.
    All I want is a girl who’s conveniently attractive, thin, has her own house, drives her own car, has a high paying job, no annoying friends or family, no emotional baggage, a freak in bed, but also a virgin, and is totally obsessed with me.

    In return, I’ll sit on my ass and play video games all day.

    Is that so much to ask?
    Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
    This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
    Well, I knew what he meant
    But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
    And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
    And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"
    But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
    (screaming sounds)
    You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
    Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

    Anyway, um, um, where was I?
    Kinda lost my train of thought

    Uh, well, uh, OK
    Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
    But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

    I! HATE! SAUERKRAUT!

    That's all I'm really tryin' to say
    And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
    And find yourself in an existential quandary
    Full of loathing and self-doubt
    And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
    At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
    Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours
    There's still a little place called

    Albuquerque
    Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque

    I said "A" (A)
    "L" (L)
    "B" (B)
    "U" (U)
    "querque" (querque)

    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

    Aaaaaaaaaaal-

    Buquerque!
    I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
    Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
    Like a constipated wiener dog
    And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
    Her name was Zelda
    She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
    I'll never forget the first thing she said to me
    She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

    That's when I knew it was true love
    We were inseparable after that
    Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
    We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
    The world was our burrito
    So we got married and we bought us a house
    And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
    Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

    But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
    She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
    I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
    "I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
    So we broke up and I never saw her again
    But that's just the way things go

    In Albuquerque
    Albuquerque

    Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
    Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
    That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
    I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
    Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
    I was gettin' a lot of attitude

    OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
    Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
    When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
    So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
    And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
    "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

    So I did

    And then he gets all indignant on me
    He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
    Well, that's just great
    How was I supposed to know that?
    I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
    Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
    So what's he complaining about?
    Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
    And I turned on the SpectraVision
    And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
    That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

    Well now, who could that be?
    I say "Who is it?"
    No answer
    "Who is it?"
    There's no answer
    "WHO IS IT?"
    They're not sayin' anything

    So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
    It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
    Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
    So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
    And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
    "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
    And he's like "Tough"
    And I'm like "Give it"
    And he's like "Make me"
    And I'm like "'Kay"
    So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
    And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
    And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
    Yes indeed, you better believe it
    And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
    And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice
    And you know what it said?
    I'll tell you what it said

    It said
    "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
    "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
    "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
    "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

    In Albuquerque
    Albuquerque

    Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
    But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
    I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
    But first, I decided to buy some donuts

    So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop
    And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
    And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
    I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
    He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
    I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
    He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
    I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
    He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
    I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
    He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
    I said "You got any apple fritters?"
    He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
    I said "You got any bear claws?"
    He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"

    "No, we're outta bear claws"
    I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
    He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
    I said "OK, I'll take that"

    So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
    And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
    (rabid gnawing sounds)
    Oh man, they were just going nuts
    They were tearin' me apart
    You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
    I believe it went a little something like this . . .

    Doh
    Get 'em off me
    Get 'em off me
    Oh
    No, get 'em off, get 'em off
    Oh, oh God, oh God
    Oh, get 'em off me
    Oh, oh God
    Ah, (more screaming)
    Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
    Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
    To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
    I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
    That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

    Albuquerque
    Albuquerque

    Oh yeah
    You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
    And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
    Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
    And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
    The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
    And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
    And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
    And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
    And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
    Except for me
    You know why?

    'Cause I had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position
    Had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position
    Had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position

    Ah ha ha ha
    Ah ha ha
    Ah

    So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
    I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
    Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
    And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
    And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel!
    But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
    Where the towels are oh so fluffy!
    And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
    It's OK, they're clean!
    Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
    You know the place
    well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

    Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
    My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

    Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
    Every single morning
    It was driving me crazy

    I said to my mom
    I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
    And my dear, sweet mother
    She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
    And she leaned right down next to me
    And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
    And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
    And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

    That's when I swore that someday
    Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
    Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
    And the towels are oh so fluffy
    Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
    And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

    Wacka wacka doodoo yeah!
    Playing Crash 4, trying to get Blue Gem.
    After an hour, finally make it through the whole level without touching a single box. A triumphant victory.

    Accidentally miss the gem, and end the level.

    Have to do it all again.

    Fellas. If you’re a man, and you’re attracted to a woman, is it gay?

    I mean, half of her DNA came from a man...:224:
    There’s two fighters left worth of smash speculation
    Before Sakurai finally ends it

    So the only real problem in our situation
    Is trying our best to predict it...

    IT COULD BE

    Crash Bandicoot, or Ryu Hayabusa
    Or someone from the Tales of Games

    It could be a blue haired Fire Emblem protagonist, for driving the fandom insane

    Chun Li, or Master Chief. Another Pokémon or Dante from Devil May Cry

    Doomguy or Agumon, Sora or Robotnik
    Or one of the guys from Fortnite

    As you can see we’ve thought of many characters, before it ends this fall

    I guarantee that all of us will get it absolutely wrong
    I guarantee that all of us will get it absolutely wrong!


    Sakurai! The fans think the next character will be Crash Bandicoot again!
    I like you. You're a pretty cool fella.
    The Kirby I got in the mail today is squishy, but squishing it too much eventually destroys it.
    I'd let you squish it once.
    I don’t think it needs to be said, but racism of any kind is intolerable. Using the virus as an excuse is also intolerable.

    I stand with Asian people.
    What is upsetting you?
    Noipoi
    Noipoi
    Sing from the heart and she will.
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    I'll link you to the video of my audition when I record it.
    But yea, I'm absolutely head over heels for her. So much so that to explain the magnitude of my affection would require me to type long paragraphs, and I'm too lazy to do that on SmashBoards.
    Noipoi
    Noipoi
    Well good luck, then.
    Dude, I guess MLP got its G5 cartoon announced. It's gonna be CG animated.

    From the one screenshot I saw of it...Honestly, I don't hate it. Really curious to see how this fares with the intimidating expectations FiM set up.
    • Like
    Reactions: Janx_uwu and Noipoi
    Noipoi
    Noipoi
    I probably won’t watch it. The only reason I kept up with G4 is cuz I watched it when I was 9.

    But it does look interesting. The animation is cute, and the team clearly has a lot of respect for FIM. I think it’ll be good.
    MooMew64
    MooMew64
    I'm so happy the stuff that leaked from 2018 was either fake or apparently super rough early drafts that aren't being used: This series sounds so much better than what was originally being proposed.

    They're also creating a new cast with a new world! I'm super happy about that as well. I hated the idea of using the Mane 6 again in a reboot format: I very much wanted something new to set itself apart.

    I got high hopes for this. The fact it's gonna be a Netflix series is also really interesting and a good sign: Their animated content seems to be treated pretty okay if Hilda is anything to go by.
    • Like
    Reactions: Noipoi
    Noipoi
    Noipoi
    Yeah using a new cast is the way to go. Leaning to much on the last show would be lame.

    I hope it does well, there’s clearly a lot of passion in this project.
    Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl should be fun
    Legends of Arceus looks amazing
    New Pokémon Snap is adorable

    No Pokémon Dash


    It’s ****
    Sometimes I’ll look at old drawings of mine and cringe into the fourth dimension.
    Bakugan2556
    Bakugan2556
    Looking at my old drawings makes me happy that I've been improving so much ngl

    My old stuff was pretty garbo but my current drawings are at least passable, I guess.
    ZoroCarlos
    ZoroCarlos
    ^ I used to work on a personal comic book for about a year or two. I drew every day basically and it's an amazing feeling to see the leap in improvement from the first page compared to the last.

    That was like five years ago now but I thank that period of time for basically cementing my style.
    Bro ****** on twitter will treat you like a subhuman if you express the slightest disappointment in Pyra lmao
    Noipoi
    Noipoi
    Yeah hate’s not good, definitely.
    JDCabrera
    JDCabrera
    I am fine with people having different takes about videogames. It's what makes us special and there's nothing wrong about prefering a Game over another one.

    Look at me for example: there are a handful of people who are interested on the new Mario Golf, but I'm sure nobody is as excited as I am. And that isn't bad at all, far from It.

    What matters in the end is the heart of the person. If they are a genuiely good person, if they want, aspire or wish to do good things both for the people around them and themselves and also if they are someone who doesn't mean harm regarding anything.

    And honestly, there are a lot of people here who truly mean good, and they shouldn't be scared to share what they think about a videogame of all things. That's something Twitter sadly doesn't understand really well.
    RealPokeFan11
    RealPokeFan11
    Yeah I only use Twitter to keep up with my favorite content creators. A lot of Twitter users blow things out of proportion and attack people over the littlest ****. The whole Animal Crossing hair style incident was awful, and people even doxxed her, which is beyond disgusting. People are allowed to be disappointed in any character as long as they don't attack others who are happy about the reveal.
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