I've been binging Super Mario 35 before it goes away.
It makes me feel better consistently being in the top 5 and getting several #1's.
It makes me feel good at something, so it keeps the depression at bay in the short term, but the existential sadnesses like loneliness, not being married, knowing that my success is all inherited, and that without that, I'd be homeless, as well as the general pain from Autism/Asperger's still squeezes at my heart.
And I mean that almost literally. I know that there's nothing actually pressing against my chest, throat, and stomach, but I feel literal, physical pain in those areas.
A broken toy can be sent back to the factory to be fixed, but a broken person cannot. It pains me to know that I am stuck in my body and that I don't get a reshuffle. This body I was born in is the body I will die in. I will never know the feelings of being normal, being loved by my parents, or just not having to fight and beg to be loved.
These feelings can be dormant, but never eradicated.