There was no point in making a thread for this, so here, people.
How to be a Samus Main
1. Samus is the only character worthy of playing.
2. When you lose to someone, it's because you're playing a low-tier character. Be sure to tell that person this so next time, they'll shut up instead of brag. Who brags about beating a low-tier anyway?
3. You were sent on a mission by the Galactic Federation. Be sure to pick up your prize money when you return.
4. If you win, it's because your opponent either doesn't know the match-up against Samus, or he or she sucks. Brag to all your friends about how you beat your opponent with a low-tier. You get bonus points if it was a top- or high-tier.
5. Meta Knight is gay, and everyone who plays him is gay. Every Samus main needs to infiltrate SWF and AiB to drive out Meta Knight.
6. Everytime someone says "Always the Samus mains," tell that person, "Don't you mean, 'Always the Pit mains'?"
7. In a Samus ditto, it does matter who wins, because in every Samus ditto, you are the real Samus, and the other Samus' are Dark Samus or SA-X. The weight of the galaxy is on your bulky shoulders, so be sure to beat them!
8. Listen to what Tudor says, watch what Xyro77 does, and go into rage mode like Rohins.
9. The more you realize Samus is bad***, the more bad*** you'll realize Samus is.
10. Wi-Fi proves nothing.
11. Tell your opponent who you've beaten prior to brawling with him or her, that way, your opponent will become fearful of you.
12. Learn the Chozo language.
13.
Samus is the best. Everyone else sucks.
14. Use your X-Ray Visor to see what number 13 says.
15. The color of your powered armorsuit doesn't matter. Samus isn't picky about the color of her armor, just as long it adds more defense and gives her suit unique abilities.
16. Samus is top-tier. People just don't realize it yet.
17. Every Samus main needs to write in their Log Book on why they main Samus. If you dream about Samus, you're a lucky guy. Tell us about your dream.
18. Samus Aran is the most beautiful and important girl in your life.
19. Running off and z-airing and using Homing Missiles isn't camping. It's spacing.
20. Work for yourself and help no other Samus main, unless it's to drive out Meta Knight.