This ballad begins in character select.
It was not meta I chose to perfect,
Or Falco, or Diddy, or Solid Snake,
All these frauds I decide to forsake ,
For I play a charcter with grabs like Haggar,
Tremble mortals, for the one I speak of is Olimar.
Veteran spacefarer of Hocotate Freight,
The good captain fearlessly charges into the fight,
Trailing behind him an army of much diversity,
Each one specialized to deal with any adversity.
A variety of colors: blue, yellow, purple, white and red.
To wantonly approach Olimar will quickly get you dead.
The match is on Smashville, the countdown begins.
Olimar lands his ship, and plucks out three friends.
He looks to his right, the opponent is clear.
Metaknight lands fiercely, but Oli does not fear.
The first move is made, from Meta a quick stab,
But Olimar shields strongly and quickly, a grab.
The captain now has the winged fiend in his grip,
The blue pikmin holding him begins to flip.
Pummeling the bat, it refuses to relent,
And the knight wonders from which hell this monster was sent,
Until the azure beast hears Olimar's direction over the sound,
And viciously tosses the masked menace off solid ground.
The bat, as it is wont, begins to glide back,
In it's brain a sly plan, an unexpected glide attack.
Quickly he flies, but is Olimar doomed to this fate?
Nay! The brilliant tactician has merely been bait!
Filling his lungs with a mighty breath,
Olimar lets lose a piercing whistle to avoid death.
The warrior from Warpstar is left awestruck,
and to Olimar's soldiers is but a sitting duck.
With one gesture skyward the purple giant arose,
He the favorite perhaps, dear to all Oli-bros.
And sent to the heavens with one mighty slam
the overpowered bat, and all began to jam.
But the knight came back, he had two stocks more,
And planned to take advantage of our hero's recovery, 'twas poor.
With transcendent priority strong in his edge,
The foul Meta began to drive Oli back to the ledge.
Despite many an fsmash and grab so well placed,
Soon the stage was to run out of space.
Our champion cornered, with nary an inch to spare,
Did something amazing, he did it with flair.
As quick in his mind as he was on his feet,
The stratagem he enacted was truly elite.
With an empty hop bait to draw his foe near
Olimar grabbed quickly while screaming," No fear!"
The shocked bat tornadoed but the yellow's grip was true,
The tactic was risky, but there is no try, only do.
Olimar quickly threw back the vile tyke
Then promptly jumped and nailed a white spike.
The knight subdued, his jaw dropped in awe,
No one could believe what they just saw.
Coming back off angelic platform the bat landed,
Only to be met by pikmin tost underhanded.
The barrage like a wall he could not pierce,
Olimar's army was loyal and fierce.
As the bat's percent rose, so too did his anger.
To this fortress how could he pose any danger?
The one stock hung like a bleak empty moon,
And the timer was clearly ending quite soon.
Faced with frustration, numbers, and overwhelming skill,
Led to Meta's rising sodium and wavering will.
An overwhelming difference like a bottomless pit,
L, R, A, Start, the conclusive rage quit.
The battle is over, the victor stands clear.
The good captain, loved by all most dear.
The music plays, while we salute the star,
Veteran spacefarer of Hocotate Freight, Captain Olimar.
-T