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Quest to Become the Best: ROM 3 goals, Amsah vs Jman discussion?

JesiahTEG

Smash Master
Joined
Jan 30, 2007
Messages
4,126
Location
Rochester, NY
Link to original post: [drupal=3420]Forward 2.0- A Smash Journey[/drupal]



As most people know, I'm on a 2 month journey to learn more about Melee and help in my goal to become a top Melee pro.

It's my second day in Arizona, June 13th. Yesterday I arrived at 10::40 AM. Forward sent his friend Manny, or "Goop" to pick me up from the airport. Manny was very welcoming, showed me where an ATM was and also took me to a really good burger place, chuckbox to eat. Manny has been playing since 05 I believe, which I'm very glad for. I usually have heard of most players that have been playing since 05, but I hadn't heard of him, so it was nice to be able to meet someone who's been around for so long.

Arizona is beautiful. It's literally a desert. I mean, I knew it was a desert, but it's weird when you see cacti outside of everyone's home. We went to go pick up Forward for a brawl tourney, so we headed over to his place.

He was waiting outside when we got there. We slapped up, went into his place. His house is really nice. Hardwood floor, 3 bedroom, nice patio. I noticed he was playing Dragon Warrior VII, one of the longest Playstation RPG's of all time. Good taste, I thought to myself. I already pretty much knew Forward was going to be a lot like me. Both very dedicated to Smash, but we can handle ourselves in social situations a lot better than a lot of other Smashers. Also, we're both incredibly good looking, although unfortunately for him I edge him out by a little bit in that category. :-P

We went to the Brawl tournament and I immediately overflooded a toilet. Nice way to start my journey right? I sat down and played some Brawl to warm up for the tourney. Before the tourney began though, Taj showed up, along with TAI. I decided to play some friendlies with TAI.

TAI is surprisingly good. From playing him, I can tell he has an incredible amount of potential, and he's only 16. He's very fortunate to be able to play in a state that's so stacked with good players, and he does play with the good players a lot from what he tells me. It's also very impressive that he can play with these kids so much, and stay motivated. I'll explain in detail later, but getting ***** by a good player, at least for me, really damages one's pride, and sometimes makes it difficult to want to improve. I have a lot of respect for TAI. He's only 16 and he's very dedicated, and again, very good at Melee. He seems like a tier 5 player. I'll also explain my tier system later as well.

I played teams with Taj, Manny and TAI. We all took turns switching teams, and switching characters. These guys are a lot of fun to play with. It's hard for me to talk and play at the same time, but these guys just say the most random **** when they play. It makes the games really lighthearted and a lot more fun, so I want to work on my concentration skills haha.

I took a break to play 2 Brawl tourney matches. I played a luigi player who spammed roll and dodge. My timing in Brawl is a bit off, so I tried to punish it as best as I could. I won the first match, then he took me to Brinstar. At that point I was reminded that Brawl players will take their opponents to the gayest stages possible to decrease the amount of skill it takes to win as much as possible. I was winning by a lot, I was at 0% and my opponent was at like 100, last stock. I did a falling bair, and it like, went through every single little connecting piece of Brinstar, so I fell to my death and messed up my recovery. I lol'd in my head. I took him to Smashville, and won one stock. Then I was like, yeahhhh, this is why I don't play Brawl LOL. I played Forward and had a silly first match, where we both SD'd and he gimped me and it was really weird. We went to FD and he won a close match vs my Snake with MK. I'm pretty sure if I practiced Brawl for 2 weeks to a month I'd be back on top of my game, but I can't stand the mechanics. I was going to play the rest of my matches, but Axe showed up.

I had to play Axe in Melee, so I decided not to play Brawl for the rest of the day LOL. I always do that, I enter Brawl, the play a match and remember why I don't like the game, then I just go play Melee for the rest of the day.

Anyways, I played Axe's Pikachu for about a half hour, with Fox and Marth. It was truly unbelievable. I won't get into extreme details, but a few things really set his Pikachu apart from everyone else's...And not just other people's Pikachu's, but other players in general. First off, Axe figured out some very very creative and EFFECTIVE combos for characters that are generally thought very hard to be comboe'd, Marth specifically. In addition, he knows exactly how to fight against every character. If I try to Nair with Fox, he Dsmashes with Pika. If I try to full jump, he spaces full hop uair. He makes it feel like no matter what attack I choose, he'll just beat it. It's very impressive.

His edgeguarding is also unbelievable. He can get to the ledge from anywhere on the stage using quick attack tricks, and he uses his invincibility so well once he actually grabs the ledge. If you're off the ledge your dead. If you are near the edge camping it, he'll quick attack to the ledge and then then do a really fast waveland from ledge so he's invincible to **** you.

Taj's Mewtwo was also even more impressive IRL than in videos, which is hard to believe, I know. His use of Dtilt is the most impressive thing about his Mewtwo. I tried everything to beat it, and when I couldn't I brought it up in convo. I said, "If I can just beat your Dtilt I'd be doing so much better." He said, "You are beating it, I'm just adapting." So I started thinking, because I was unsure of what he said...But then it all made sense.

I started paying closer attention to the situation. When he came in and Dtilted, I would DD grab it, and it would work. But, the next time I tried to, he would WD in, and if I DD'd away, he'd WD again extra far and hit me with it anyways. So, it made it seem like I couldn't beat it, since I kept getting hit by it. But really, I wasn't noticing how much attention Taj was paying to the game.

It was truly unbelievable, to see someone adapt so incredibly fast to a situation. So fast, that it tricked me into thinking that nothing I was doing was working. It was working, but not for long. If I tried to jump over and Fair, he would WD backwards and grab me. Then I had a huge realization about Melee, and Melee pros: They pay attention to every situation, and they know how to beat EVERYTHING.

It's hard for me to outsmart a player when I don't know how to beat certain situations. In order to even get on their level, Axe and Taj, I need to first figure out how to beat everything they have. Even with that knowledge though, that information...Only at that point will I be able to begin to compete. Because then from there, it becomes a game of educated Rock, Paper, Scissors. I can only try to outsmart them once I have the proper knowledge to do so.

I also had the most demotivating Melee experience of my life, playing Axe's Falco. I lost for about 2 hours straight, or it least it felt that long. His Falco is unbelievable. You don't have room to breathe, every opening I have I have to maximize to the absolute fullest. His laser control is insane. His Falco combos me harder than any other Falco I've played. It felt like no matter what I did, he would just beat it, but then I refreshed myself and reminded myself that those were my emotions talking. So I just stayed focused, and just thought of strategies.

What was odd about the experience was not only was I very demotivated, but watching his expertise at the game, I was very inspired. It was a surreal experience to say the least.

I'll post more later, but I'm about to play with Forward for the first time. Wish me luck, smashers.

-JesiahTEG
 

highfive

Smash Lord
Joined
Mar 22, 2009
Messages
1,324
Location
Buhl, Idaho
Both very dedicated to Smash, but we can handle ourselves in social situations a lot better than a lot of other Smashers. Also, we're both incredibly good looking, although unfortunately for him I edge him out by a little bit in that category. :-P
Favorite part right here. It seems so stereotypical to say all smashers are nerdy and socially ********. In reality most smashers are the guys who save you when your car breaks down or perform for a really cool local band.

To get back to the blog I think your smash experience was pretty good. Lol at overflooding the toilet.
 

Tee ay eye

Smash Hero
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
5,635
Location
AZ
Jesse

spend next week at my house

you'll learn how to fight Pikachu LOL

btw, i know what you mean when you said your emotions were getting in the way

you seemed to be getting frustrated at random points of the day

i do it too sometimes, but i've learned to deal with it, which is kinda what you mentioned in your blog about me staying motivated. it's easy to say like "oh, that's so gay. i'm better than this person, or i should be going even/beating them, but i just don't know how to beat this tactic" or just something as simple as "WOW that's so stupid. this matchup is ********/my character sucks/that's unbeatable."

even if they ARE really really solid tactics with like, one solution out of a billion options, getting frustrated won't help you at all, especially in tournament. every time i get frustrated with the game, ask myself what would've happened if the same thing happened in tournament. in tournament, it's not always a matter of who's better, it's just who wins. and if they win, they win, and no amount of frustration will help you, and even if it somehow does, it's not a legitimate way of winning imo (making your opponent feel bad, which is probably the only way you could win using frustration).

just keep in mind that there are ways to overcome almost any tactic (and there's counters they can do to beat YOUR counters!), and it's also important to remind yourself that no amount of rationalization will help you win.

like, chances are, if you're rationalizing in an even/winning matchup, they're just either outplaying you, or you just lack the knowledge to beat what they're doing, and knowledge is a pretty important part of getting better.

and if you're rationalizing in a losing matchup, who cares? no amount of frustration or complaining will make a losing matchup even, and if you don't want to deal with that, play a better character or deal with the matchup.

these are the thoughts i think to avoid demoralization after countless hours of exclusively playing against two of the best low tier players in the world. it's one thing to get ***** for hours on end. it's another thing to get ***** by pikachu and mewtwo for hours on end.

it's pretty easy to get discouraged/embarassed, but just remember that it'll help you get better, and you're not going out like a little punk b*tch like everyone else :cool:

these thoughts also help me deal with axe's peach, ice climbers, and pretty much all of the other characters he can use (protip: don't get discouraged about losing to AXE's random characters. he really knows how to use literally every character in the game except for Pichu and Donkey Kong).

it's also easy to get frustrated when you're losing against someone's secondaries. just remember truly how GOOD your opponent is. you gotta have some of this

i'll wrap this post up by quoting some wise words from a true smash inspiration and legend.

No don't say ban puff or metaknight of pichu's taunt I say we ban B****ing because there is a way to deal with camping but not B****ing.
 

Jim Morrison

Smash Authority
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
15,287
Location
The Netherlands
Favorite part right here. It seems so stereotypical to say all smashers are nerdy and socially ********. In reality most smashers are the guys who save you when your car breaks down or perform for a really cool local band.

To get back to the blog I think your smash experience was pretty good. Lol at overflooding the toilet.
qftqftqft.
 

Tee ay eye

Smash Hero
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
5,635
Location
AZ
yeah so do i

mainly cuz i wanna know what a tier 5 player is.

it sounds offensive LOL
 

MattDotZeb

Smash Hero
Joined
Jan 4, 2006
Messages
6,122
Location
Quincy, MA
Jesse just wanna let you know when you get back the apartment I'm going to be better than you and your entire trip will have been for nothing.

That is all.
 

JesiahTEG

Smash Master
Joined
Jan 30, 2007
Messages
4,126
Location
Rochester, NY
06/14/10 Second Post

Last night was one of the greatest Smash moments of my life. I played with Forward for like, 5-6 hours. We played every matchup, and we played long enough for me to get completely warmed up so I was playing very well.

I lost most of the matches, but that's expected. I really spent a lot of time and effort trying to peer into the mind of the great Forward haha. I think some people really think of him like that, some sort of Smash god or something. While I do have an immense amount of respect for him, and the way he plays the game, I know he's still human in Smash. I can also tell he's pretty rusty, which is sad for me considering the fact that I lost most of the matches haha.

Forward has a very, very unique playstyle. He's not overly agressive, and he's not a campy little ***** either. Playing against Axe's Falco I felt very very locked down and suffocated. Playing against some other Falcos and/or Foxes, I find myself having to chase them down and if I mess up, I get comboed, which is very frustrating.

It seems like Forward takes every situation one at a time, so it feels like a very fast paced game of Chess. The worst part is, he's always a step ahead of you. I think I'd rather play a Falco who completely locks me down, because at that point, you can dismantle the strategy I feel. It seems very solid, and it feels like you can't move sometimes. But, it also reminds me of the game Jenga, if some of you have played that game.

It's a solid structure, or a solid strategy/playstyle. But, once you can get past the initial barriers of feeling locked down, I think you can slowly pick apart the playstyle, and eventually win consistently. And, keep in mind, in no way, shape or form am I saying that an agressive Falco is not good. It takes a VERY high level player to get to that point. The only person I've seen do that is Mang0 to Axe, in that one video at Pound 4 I believe. And I'm not dissing Axe at all, no way. So much respect for him. But, I think Mang0 felt very comfortable vs Axe's Falco, because he's at a high enough level to get past the walls of lasers and insane technical skill. Not to say Axe isn't smart, because he outsmarts me like, almost all of the time lol.

But I feel Forward's Falco, although rusty, has a more solid and sustained playstyle. It really feels like he's in your mind, it's a very odd feeling. Even M2K, who beats me worse than Forward...Playing M2K feels like playing a machine that always does the right thing at the right time. But, I don't feel hopeless playing him.

Picture a bunch of lines on a piece of paper, starting from the bottom and going to the top. Picture 15-20 lines. In smash, I guess those would represent someone's playstyle. Vs some players, even if they are better than me, I know it's just a matter of moving past each line, no matter how hard it seems. Even if it takes a long time, I know it's just a matter of overcoming obstacle per obstacle, etc.

Now, picture the same sheet of paper, with only 10 vertical lines. Now, picture 10 more lines running horizontally, criss crossing to create a checker formation. Now, picture 5 more lines diagonally, from top left to bottom right, and top right to bottom left. Now, picture a few squiggly lines randomly running through all of the previous lines. THAT is forward. Even if you pick something apart about his playstyle, it's just so solid, you're not going to shake him at all. You take one line out and it doesn't matter, because his base gameplay is just so solid. It's fascinating. No I'm not on drugs, it's just what I see in my head when I think about it.

I think what makes it so hard to play Forward is that, you feel like you have a chance. He's not smothering you with tech, and he's not always just outside of your range. You have a chance to outthink him, so every 5 seconds when a situation resets, you think to yourself, "Oh, I'll get him this time." But, he always wins the guessing game somehow. So, it seems like you have a chance, and you do...But, his chances are just so much better.

After a while, I decided to tell him what I was thinking, and have him give me some advice. The first thing he told me was to slow down my tech skill. He says I do a lot of unnecessary technical things, which I had NO idea I did. Like, I usually know all the problems I have in Melee, and it never occurred to me that that was a problem. I asked him what he meant specifically, and he pointed out even with Sheik, my edge cancel needle cancels. He said, he would have just got off the platform and walked over to his opponent.

In my head I thought, "But, if I'm getting to my opponent, what's the difference? If anything, one way I have some needles charged, and Sean's way I don't have needles." But, I recognize my inexperience compared to him, and decided to just listen and go with it.

I was so unbelievably amazed at how much of a difference it made. And the cool thing was, I knew he knew it would make a huge difference based on how he told me. Matches became much closer, and I stopped getting hit by so many unnecessary things I was getting hit by before. I didn't feel so controlled by lasers anymore. When he shielded now, I capitalized at least 20-25% more often than I was before. Edgeguarding was much easier, it just became clearer. All he told me to do was slow down my game, and it made such a big difference.

What was very interesting about the experience is that one of the things I am currently working on is speeding up my gameplay. The players outside of Rochester are so much faster, I'm trying to mentally speed up how fast I can react to certain things. But, at the same time, I had to slow down my movements. Speed up my mental awareness and my reaction, and slow down my movements. Very contradictory, but beautiful as well. This is what makes me love Melee so much. It's such an expression of how someone thinks, and it shows in their gameplay.

Forward can play every character very impressively. Samus, Falcon, all 4 top tiers, Jiggs, Peach. It's funny because as different as they all seem, they all play the same way, with traps and intelligent decisions in every situation.

At the end of the night, he must have been really tired, sandbagging, or just giving me a chance for the **** of it, but I started doing much better. I started winning much more, and it seemed as though I was winning more mindgames. However, based on how much he ***** me before, it seems almost unrealistic that I could have such a breakthrough in such a small amount of time, about 5-6 hours. It did boost my confidence though, so if he was sandbagging to make me feel better, thanks man LOL.

He also gave me some more advice that I tried to internalize. I asked him about 2 different situations. When my opponent is jumping around on platforms, and in the neutral position, trying to score the first hit.

He broke down the first question for me very clearly. He explained different skill levels of players, and what each skill level of each player would try to do on a platform. One would shield, one would jump up and down to avoid getting hit, one would rush to the ground as fast as possible, etc. See, my mindset in regards to platforms was SO one dimensional compared to this. I thought if you were on a platform you were in a bad position, so the best thing to do would be try to get off.

Forward explained what he was trying to do was mix up jumping and standing on the top platform to bait me to try and attack him, so he could get off and gain stage control while I was swinging at him. I was so throughly impressed by that, I just thought about it for a good 5 minutes. I know, most of you are probably reading this thinking, "Duh." But to me, that wasn't so obvious. The way he explained it opened up my eyes to a new level of Melee. Every situation has multiple options, and some optoins can be cultivated by smart players out of thin air. Even turning a seemingly bad situation into a mindgame that your opponent is just blind to.

I also thought, "If I was blind to that situation, what else am I missing?" I want to go back and watch as many videos as possible and try to look at Melee through this new mindset. I feel very refreshed after that experience.

The second question he also answered very well, but I'm not going to explain that because it would take a long itme, and he even had a hard time explaining it to me in person. He did it though. I admire his ability to express his thoughts very clearly, although he claims he has a hard time doing so.

All in all, so far, I'm having a great time playing with him. This is definitely the biggest learning experience of my life so far. I've learned very gradually throughout the years, but now I feel I'm learning exponentially. I still have so much work to do though, so I'm going to get to it. I'll write more soon.
 

TheGeneral

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Nov 3, 2006
Messages
347
Get'em Jesse! You should write a book about this, lol. Your narrative style gets me so hype for melee.
 

NightroGlycerine

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Dec 8, 2007
Messages
369
Location
Rochester, NY
Wow, Jesse. You take amazing notes.

One thing I'd like to mention is, you're probably used to outplaying your opponents based on sheer speed and reaction time. That's how it seems whenever we play, that you're just too fast and I'm too slow.

And sure, that's good, it beats all of us back home. It's how Ash's Pikachu beat Lt. Surge. But this sort of deep, on-the-spot thinking and questioning what is and isn't a good idea-- or not being locked into a dogmatic set of practiced, is going to improve your game most.

In chess, when you first start training and practicing and studying, you're given a set of rules and guidelines ("don't develop your Queen early," "avoid doubled pawns," "develop towards the center,") to follow so you don't make noob mistakes. Over time, you learn to pick apart the subtler and more intricate mistakes in your game, and recognize how and why they happen. That's when you're allowed to break your old guidelines, because sometimes doing so is the best possible option...

Smash, on the other hand, has bright colors.
 

TheManaLord

Smash Hero
Joined
Jun 4, 2006
Messages
6,283
Location
Upstate NY
man i wish i was with you on this

sorry i didnt get to say goodbye the other night, we really had to bail out it was getting too late. give me a call sometime

smoke any buds with those newly met smashers?

try to get me zelda secrets if you run into any zelda on the west coast
 

AXE 09

Smash Master
Joined
Dec 3, 2006
Messages
3,825
Location
Avondale, AZ
Dang man... It sounds like your skill level has boosted since yesterday. I love reading all of your posts and just thinking about what it's like. I seriously wish that I could do what you are doing right now Jesiah.

Forward is definitely one of the smartest smashers that I've ever had a conversation with. The way he thinks about things is so different from anything that I've ever thought, and it really blows my mind. I'm sure you already know how smart he is just from talking to him for even 5 minutes lol. Taj is also very smart; I love the way he explains everything. I wish you could meet Wobbles too, so you can see for yourself that he's not just a rage quitting jerk like everyone thinks. He's actually a pretty cool guy (weird sometimes but he's still awesome lol). I'm sorry that I'm not the best at giving advice or anything. I'm really horrible with that. It's hard for me to say anything that I want to =( lol. I really envy Forward and Taj for their abilities to talk the way that they do.

Can't wait to see you again man. If I don't see you tomorrow, I should see you on Thursday. And if somehow I don't see you Thursday, then sometime this weekend for sure lol.

Honestly... I think you're very fun to play, and you're a really cool person man. I hope we get to play a lot more before you have to leave. You are really inspiring me to want to do the same thing that you are doing right now (travelling the U.S. to play as many players as possible).
 

JesiahTEG

Smash Master
Joined
Jan 30, 2007
Messages
4,126
Location
Rochester, NY
Axe, I actually played Wobbles and met him 2 years ago, so yeah haha I know how cool he is. And how good he is at the game.
 

Minic

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Mar 15, 2010
Messages
91
Location
Rochester
man these posts are so interesting to read. Makes me want to go travel more and play other people outside rochester. But seriously, im really interested in this tier system of yours
 

darkoblivion12

Smash Lord
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
1,102
Location
Buffalo
man i wish i was with you on this

sorry i didnt get to say goodbye the other night, we really had to bail out it was getting too late. give me a call sometime

smoke any buds with those newly met smashers?

try to get me zelda secrets if you run into any zelda on the west coast
Dude, everyone in central Jersey plays zelda. I'm so ****ing sick of zelda dittos. Also, zelda secret tech=sex
 

Nø Ca$h

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
2,726
Location
Philadelphia PA
i understand about forwards style.. hes just so well rounded that there is so much to bypass.. u think u got him but his reaction time and intelligence just lead u into a trap..
 

dudutsai

Smash Lord
Joined
Nov 24, 2007
Messages
1,714
Location
Lincoln MA
Excellent read so far! As I read your journey, it really puts me into your shoes, and I feel improved just reading about how much you're learning!

Keep up the great note taking, I'll see you sometime!
 

da K.I.D.

Smash Hero
Joined
Aug 22, 2006
Messages
19,658
Location
Rochester, NY
I won the first match, then he took me to Brinstar. At that point I was reminded that Brawl players will take their opponents to the gayest stages possible to decrease the amount of skill it takes to win as much as possible.
remind me, how often did peach and puff players counterpick mute city when it was legal?

otherwise, fun/cool story. it just could have done without the backhand shot.

also, I also think MDZ is gonna give you the **** when you come back too, lol. just sayin.
 

Foy

Smash Champion
Joined
Feb 13, 2009
Messages
2,042
Location
Modesto at <3
also, I also think MDZ is gonna give you the **** when you come back too, lol. just sayin.
xD I talked to him last night about stuff and how we both look at the game.
I'm beasting him when he is back :p




****. this isn't Foy.
It's MattDotZeb.
 

S l o X

Smash Champion
Joined
Aug 17, 2009
Messages
2,838
Location
bridgeport, ct
tai is the smash prodigy

just saying

also i'm loving these blogs. I'm also interested in this tier system as I kind of have my own thing I just made from hearing about yours. Good luck on your journey. Any idea how long the total trip is gonna be?
 

JesiahTEG

Smash Master
Joined
Jan 30, 2007
Messages
4,126
Location
Rochester, NY
06/16/10- Third Post

2 days ago, on the 14th I believe, it was late at night and Forward had just gotten home from work. I asked him if he wanted to play, he said he had some friends coming over, so to wait for them to get there. I waited, and they showed up. Chris and Jacky. Both really cool guys. I made some mac and cheese while they were playing, and asked them if they had Smash tags. They didn't go on Smashboards they told me, but I told them that didn't matter anyways, a lot of people who don't go on Smashboards are really good. They looked pretty good with Mario and Samus at least. I told them I was very impressed for never having heard of them before.

I sat down to play and played some friendlies. Everything was going well, I wasn't even playing that bad. It wasn't my best, but I never play my best. Chris wanted to do a money match for a dollar, so I said ok. My Marth vs his Falcon on FD. I was really nervous I was going to be playing bad, since whenever there's any pressure on the line, my tech skill always magically vanishes, and I'm left looking like nothing more than a scrub who's trying to learn how to wavedash. Yeah, it's that bad.

To my surprise, I did pretty well. First match was a 3 stock. Second match was a 2 stock. Only one more match to go. Then, it happened. All of a sudden, I lost it. I knew immediately once he recovered to the stage, and I went to forward smash him and I just dashed the opposite way. I instantly knew that my tech skill was failing. I missed some wavedashes and L cancels, and the most annoying thing was that I couldn't dash. Like, if I try to dash away sometimes, either I'll just stand there or I'll slowly walk away. It's the most annoying thing in the world. I lost that match 1 stock.

I decided to switch to Fox for the next match, because sometimes even though my Marth is playing bad, my Fox can sometimes do well. LOL what a horrible mistake. I couldn't even drillshine. He was winning by one stock, and I got gentleman'd and I was so sick of getting gentleman'd over and over I just killed myself and then threw the match. I got 3 stocked.

At that point I knew I wasn't going to win. I could just feel it. To be honest, I wanted to just give him his money and quit, but I'm trying to work on my mindset so I decided to just play it out. I lost 1 stock.

And keep in mind, although I do feel I was playing one of the worst I've ever played in Melee, my opponent wasn't bad. He was doing very legit Falcon combos, his DI was incredible, and his recoveries were good too. I shook his hand and gave him a 5 dollar bill since a 1 dollar money match is just silly.

I got super, super upset and decided to go to my room. I've never really talked about this with anyone, but since I'm going on a 2 month trip I might as well. I have a serious problem when I play technically bad. Like, serious emotional problems. Instantly, I feel like I never want to play Smash again. And not in a pouty, "I'm being a little girl" kind of way. Like, when some people play bad they'll say, "I suck, what's the point of even playing." I'm not like that. For me, I think to myself, "If I play bad during the moments that it counts, what's going to happen when I get really really good, and go to a national tournament, and I'm in a huge match with hundreds of people watching? I'm going to play bad and lose and all of my time and hard work will have been for nothing." So, that's the first problem. It makes me not even want to play Melee anymore.

The next problem, and this is a big one, is that I feel like I don't deserve anything. If I'm doing terrible in something I've practiced so hard and long to be good at, I feel I don't deserve to play. Not only that, I don't deserve to hang out with people, I don't deserve to watch anime, or even play other games. The only thing I do is listen to music. I literally went to my room, and listened to music. The worst part about it was, my opponent came to my room and asked me if I wanted to come play smash. I said no over and over, but on the inside I truly did want to play. Really badly. I came on a trip to play Smash with everyone, but I can't allow myself, not when I'm playing bad. I feel like such a disgrace to the smash scene.

So, I laid in my room for the rest of the night, very upset and depressed. Also, Chris came in and told me he was Gamerguitarist7. It didn't really matter though, it's not like I judge by Smashboards names or anything.

So, all in all it was the first bad experience since I've been here. I hope this happens less in my Smash career.
 
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