Children and Religion

[Overload]

I'm sure many of you were forced to follow a religion such as myself. When you're little you don't think about much but as you get older you may start to realize you don't believe in that religion anymore. I had to go to church and ccd for years. For the last three years I was against it. I ended up getting out of confirmation because I just refused. People say "Oh you can't get married in a church." So? Who says you have to get married in a church? My question for everyone is do you think it is right to bring children believing in a certain religion and then not letting them decide for themselves if they want to continue following that religion until they are adults and move out? Do you even think it is right to raise children in a certain religion at all? Personally I don't really agree with starting a kid in a religion before they can even think for themselves. I believe the parent should at least wait till they are a little older, not when they are a baby. I also believe parents should definitely allow their kids to break away from the religion if they present a valid enough reason for wanting to do so. In my case I was forced to go to ccd and I didn't enjoy it at all. Now my mother is making my sister go and I don't really like that. What are all of your opinions on all of this?

 

[urdailywater]

I think Children should go. They're small, they don't know right from wrong yet. Church teaches this to children. Elementary school doesn't teach it much. The only source is your parents, even then it isn't enough since kids prefer to do their "own" thing sometimes. I don't see many kids hang out with their parents or lot.

Let the morals sink in, and later let them decide whether God decides their life or not.

edit: I might have worded this wrong.. but Sunday School does teach morals, not just Biblical stories. It's also a way for them to make friends, even in High School you see your friends through Church.

I'll definetly take my children to church, for reasons that I'm Christian, and that I'd like them to get out of the house instead of staying secluded (assuming that technology will start doing this to more and more children in the future.. I'll definetly not keep them secluded though.. but if it's their choice then I can understand it. I grew up the same way after I left my family..)

Sorry if I'm trying to sound to selfish, like I'd never let my child make a choice.. but I can't leave him home alone while I go to church.. I'll try and rephrase it tomorrow after school when I'm not so tired. =/

 

[IWontGetOverTheDam]

I think it's the parent's job to tell kids what is right and wrong, not that of a church. A religious gathering would only put bias towards its own beliefs into the situation.

 

[Hive]

I think parents can teach their kids religion if they want... since its hard to draw the line on what is acceptable to teach a kid or not since it basically just comes down to a matter of opinion and social norms...
However, if a kid doesn't want to follow that religion they shouldn't be forced to. It is their choice to make, it doesn't harm anyone either way, so parents shouldn't interfere...
i think parents/gov. get confused a lot on ethics... ppl should be less concerned about finding what is right or wrong in every action and more concerned about protecting the ability to choose as much as possible ...as long as it doesn't reasonably hurt anyone elses existence or ability to choose I don't think we need to define as much what to do in a situation......

 

[Oracle]

Parents should teach their kids religion because it explains things easily, but have to be explained more in depth later.

 

[Jam Stunna]

You can't expect a parent not to force their beliefs and values on their children, as that's part of being a parent. I'm definitely going to share my belief with my son that God sucks, and if I was a religious person you can bet I'd be extolling the glories of Jesus Christ.

What a child wants is irrelevant. If you truly believe that your immortal soul is dependent upon following the tenets of religion, you'd be a fool not to impart that onto your kids.

 

[Crimson King]

I decided some time ago, since I was forced into religion, to teach my kids the big religions (Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Zoroastrianism, etc) and not reveal my lack of faith until later. I'd rather they understand and choose on their own than me choose for them.

 

[Overload]

You can't expect a parent not to force their beliefs and values on their children, as that's part of being a parent. I'm definitely going to share my belief with my son that God sucks, and if I was a religious person you can bet I'd be extolling the glories of Jesus Christ.

What a child wants is irrelevant. If you truly believe that your immortal soul is dependent upon following the tenets of religion, you'd be a fool not to impart that onto your kids.

You bring up a good point. I just wish people could say to themselves "I accept the possibility that my religion might not be correct. I shouldn't force my child to believe in something if he/she doesn't want to. I should let my child make that decision." Of course this doesn't really happen now does it.

 

[aeghrur]

Of course parents will force their religion upon them. It's their belief, and if they truly believe they're saving their kids from suffering and pain by teaching them a religion, they will. I personally don't know what I'll do. Lol, I'd rather just let them be and teach them logic and music first. xD They can choose their own religion, although my bias for atheism/agnosticism would probably influence them. =/

 

[Jam Stunna]

You bring up a good point. I just wish people could say to themselves "I accept the possibility that my religion might not be correct. I shouldn't force my child to believe in something if he/she doesn't want to. I should let my child make that decision." Of course this doesn't really happen now does it.

I will agree that there comes a time when you do have to let them choose for themselves, but that doesn't come until much later in their lives.

 

[Overload]

See I don't know if I agree with you Jam Stunna. Some kids might end up sticking with the religion you brought them up as because it has been embedded into their heads from such a young age. If you let them decide when they can actually think for themselves, and give them a broad spectrum of information, I'm sure it would be a little easier on them. All I know is if I have kids I'm not going to bring them up as anything. If they want to follow a religion later on then they can do so. I will only share my beliefs if they ask what they are.

 

[illinialex24]

I never was forced to and I found my own way. I've read a fair amount of the Old Testament and I really don't believe in it.

 

[SkylerOcon]

I'd rather introduce my children to all kinds of religions. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Atheism, and pretty much anything else. Let them decide for themselves.

 

[zrky]

Crimson King and Skyler have a great point, I was taught to believe in God and what not but then I started to realize that most of the stuff in the Bible has good sayings that can be used for many different situations but the stories about Jesus healing blindness with mud is just bologna. The only reason I ever went to church is because I used to ask my parents to go but then i got tired and just said "screw this I have better things to do" and since i always believed in evolution as did my parents religion is never a problem.

The only hting is how would you show your kids all the ideas of these religions, would you ask for them to practice that religion for a certain amount of time and move on, how would you accomplish this?

 

[5ive]

Raising a child in a religion differs from each view point. If you are a religious person, most likely, you will want your children to grow up with a similar up bringing. This, of course, can be said the other way around. If you grew up with religion, but resented the fact that you were forced to praise something you do not believe in, you would obviously not force your child into religion.

Personally, I think one should just follow in what they believe in. That will be what is best for their child. I, myself was brought up in a religious household, and grew up going to church every week. I didn't know how serious religion was, but it did teach me right from wrong. As I grew up, I learned to love Jesus, even if I didn't exactly know who he was. The older I got, the more I learned the true meaning of Christianity, and learned to love Jesus and God for all the miracles they have provided me (Family, Food, Belongings).

In my honest opinion, Religion is a good way to bring up a child. The spirit of Christmas and Thanksgiving (to mention a few) have a vibe which makes everyone feel happy, and most of all loved. Even the mentality of knowing I am on this planet for a reason, and once I die, I will not just rot in the ground, assures me that life is not a waste.

Without growing up with God, I think I would be less of a person than I am now.

OFFTOPIC:

I started to realize that most of the stuff in the Bible has good sayings that can be used for many different situations but the stories about Jesus healing blindness with mud is just bologna.

Remember, the Bible is not only a book of history; it is a book of morals, or contextual entirety.
The Bible has a lot of facts. There was a Jesus. There was a Moses. There IS a God, but most of these stories were made of Hebrews who wanted explanations for things that happened miraculously.

Infact, this is how the Catholic's think (I am one).

For example,
In The Book of Revelation, it talks about a Great Apocalypse which will come upon the land, and kill everything on Earth.

Will that really happen? Probably not.
Well, if you take it literally, maybe you might think that,
But try thinking about it contextually.

During that time, The Hebrews were enslaved by the Romans. The Romans commonly killed or tortured people who believed in God. Overall, Hebrews were oppressed.

In retaliation, the Hebrews prayed to God that they would receive justice, and little signs from God, they would take.
Soon, John (the writer of Revelation), depicted the end of the Earth itself, which sought 4 horsemen (which coincidentally were described similarly to Horse Riding Roman Cavaliers.) These 4 horsemen represented 4 things, one representing death.

The "end of the World", was also cleverly written by John to represent the Hebrews being killed by the Romans.
Because this was a big possibility (Remember, this happened in Egypt during the Old Testament), they tried their best to scare the Romans off from doing this. This ended in them basically implying, "If you kill us, the world will end, and only Christians will be saved."

It was basically a threat.
This is not only my opinion, this is how Theologists and Religious scholars perceive the story to be.

 

[Xsyven]

I'm not very religious at all anymore, but I'm glad I was while growing up. Kept me out of trouble. I figure that discovering your own morals, and how you want to live your own life is one of the biggest parts of growing up.

 

[mc4]

I personally think that it is good for children to attend church. It's the one place where people can learn the best morals and establish a foundation for the rest of their lives. There are many scholars and credible people that recognize the bible and its incredibly practical knowledge even though it was completed 2000 years ago or so. I don't think it should be considered "brainwashing" because anything could be considered "brainwashing". Raising a child as an atheist could be considered "brainwashing" if that were the case. It takes logic and reasoning to believe in and understand the bible, just like it takes logic and reasoning to try to refute it. As far as being force to continue to go is a bit tricky. If you believe in the bible and what it says it states that children should be taught from infancy the bible and what it teaches. It also teaches that children should be obedient to their parents so as long as what your parent requests doesn't interfere with what God's word teaches. Obviously when you get to a certain age you take full responsibility for yourself and your actions. Some parents may think that age is 18, others may think it's when you leave their house. If a child is past a certain age and can explain reasonably and logically why they don't believe they should go then I don't see why the child should be forced. If the child is old enough to work etc show responsibility then no they shouldn't be forced. We all have freewill and if God wanted to force us to do something he wouldn't need our parents to do it for him. The choice is ultimately up to the person. Parents are responsible for raising children but after a certain age (whatever that age may be) we all take full responsibility for ourselves and our actions. So should a 10 yearold be forced so to go to church? Absolutely he or she isn't experienced enough, or old enough to take full responsibility for him or herself and it is the parents responsibility to raise the child. Should a 17 18 etc be forced? No they are old enough to decide for themselves what they want to do with their life... (and we will naturally experience the consequences of that decision whether positive or negative.)

 

[Proverbs]

You can't expect a parent not to force their beliefs and values on their children, as that's part of being a parent. I'm definitely going to share my belief with my son that God sucks, and if I was a religious person you can bet I'd be extolling the glories of Jesus Christ.

What a child wants is irrelevant. If you truly believe that your immortal soul is dependent upon following the tenets of religion, you'd be a fool not to impart that onto your kids.

QFT. We're on complete opposite sides on the issue of faith, but I can't deny you're exactly right. Parents teach their kids what they think is right. That's the duty of a parent. I'm not going to teach my kid what I think is right but what I know is right. I would be a fool if I didn't.

You bring up a good point. I just wish people could say to themselves "I accept the possibility that my religion might not be correct. I shouldn't force my child to believe in something if he/she doesn't want to. I should let my child make that decision." Of course this doesn't really happen now does it.

I don't think things work like that. As a Christian I have no doubt in my mind that Jesus is Lord and my Savior. The doubts I've had in the past have been wiped away by the research I've done. I've read nearly the entire Bible (working on it) and have read numerous extrabiblical sources concerning evidence in defense of Christ and what Christianity is all about to be convinced that there is no way that Jesus is not Lord. I've also read books about other philosophies and have researched into some other religions. None seem to be able to hold up against Christianity.

Because of that I'm not going to falter. I will not teach my son or daughter about what I think is right but what I know is right. When they're of age and they choose not to accept Jesus as Lord--then I'll let them make their own decision. An integral part of Christianity is making your own choice. You need to be fully devoted to God, not be forced to go to church.

My parents waited for me to make my own decision. At times they were impatient, I'm sure. Anyone would be frustrated with the son I was. But I found my own faith in my own time.

I get what you're saying Overload. You wish that your parents gave you more of a choice. I get that, I understand. But you can't blame your mom for bringing you up in what she believed was the truth.

 

[Mith_]

I was forced to believe in Christianity, although I wasn't irritated that I had to go to church a lot. I started to get sick of going to church because I felt like I had to go. Religion is a choice not a law. But I decided to get serious about it because I had to go anyways. Turns out it was for the better.

You bring up a good point. I just wish people could say to themselves "I accept the possibility that my religion might not be correct. I shouldn't force my child to believe in something if he/she doesn't want to. I should let my child make that decision." Of course this doesn't really happen now does it.

Why would you do that?
If you dedicate your life to a religion, I'm sure you would do it knowing that it was correct, otherwise you wouldn't do it then?

If you are [insert religion] and you believe [insert beliefs], why wouldn't you want that for your child?

 

[LordoftheMorning]

On that note, it's impossible to not indoctrinate your child in some way, unless of course you make it a point to remain neutral on all issues at all times (possible?). Your parents want whats best for you, and they think that what's best for you is to save your soul and have you embrace Christianity. Similarly, if your parents were atheists, your parents will try to convince you that the idea of God is ridiculous because they don't want to see you trapped in unnecessary quandaries or whatever problems we're supposed to have.

 

[DtJ Jungle]

It's pretty much consensus here that people believe that it's ok if their child is taught about morals through religion, as long as it's for the morals only, and that X religion's word isn't absolute truth. Sometimes it's easier to teach your kids through stories than just explaining the situation to them, because they cannot see what they did is wrong, or why what you are saying is right.

 

[Darxmarth23]

I say that believe what you want.

If you are of a religion and it doesn't seem right to you then you don't have to stick with it.

But be sure you are making the right choice.

I am someone who has stuck to my religion. I believe 100% of all of its points, teachings, and aspects to be true and i am proud.

 

[arrowhead]

i'd do nothing until my kid reaches his teen years. if he's an atheist, then lucky me. if he's a theist, i'll try to crush it out of him.

 

[aeghrur]

Lol, telling stories. I'd rather not lie to my child on most topics that can be explained. I wouldn't want them fed full of religion just because they couldn't understand some answers to the questions. Instead, I'd just use the old socratic method. Question it out of them. This way, I won't teach them religion or to follow God, but neither will I have to deprive them of belief either. Truthfully, I would HATE trying to argue against my own kids about the issue of religions, especially since you can't take it away from someone. It's also very hard to change them once they have been taught that. That's why I think I'd rather not teach them the Bible or stories from them they will believe to be real. I won't kill their ideas of God and his existence either though.

 

[illinialex24]

i'd do nothing until my kid reaches his teen years. if he's an atheist, then lucky me. if he's a theist, i'll try to crush it out of him.

Why. Anyone is allowed to their personal views. I try to stop anyone who tries to attack people based on faith arguments, and that sounds what you are doing. I don't mind debating with science, but trying to prove someone is wrong based on your faith or whatever is very wrong.

 

[Firus]

Honestly, I don't know what I'd do as a parent. The way my parents ended up doing it worked out fine for me, albeit I'm not sure if that's just because I'm...me. They brought me up going to church, and eventually we just...stopped going. I'm still not sure why. If I had stayed in it past when I did, (I was about 9 or 10 when I stopped going) it's ultimately possible my faith would be stronger than it is. I may have actually grasped the ideals and everything better and been more brainwashed -- not to say religion is being brainwashed, but being brought up on something and learning to never question it is. So far, I've found myself Agnostic. Basically, I was left to make my own decision, even though my parents never said it outright.

I'd like to say that I'll be a parent who will leave his kids to do what they wish, and that's what I want to do. But I wouldn't say that's what I'll do for sure -- it's easier said than done, I'm sure.

One thing I do know, though; I am NOT going to be one of those elitist parents who disowns their child for believing what they want, or for marrying someone outside their religion. Seriously, I hear of that crap and I want to punch the parent(s) in the face.

 

[IDK]

They are most impressionable while young, and will accept the values even if not the complete belief in the religion. This is why some parents allow their kids to stray from the religion, after a time. You may not realize that the values were instilled in you, but you were taught that murder, stealing, etc... is bad.

However, it SHOULD be left to the parents. People who do not care as much about the child as their parents will do all they can to make them a lifetime member of the religion. They will manipulate their impressionable minds.

I believe that the main point of religion is just to teach people what is right and what is wrong. I think you can follow it without believing in the god(s) of it, or every story they tell.

 

[illinialex24]

They are most impressionable while young, and will accept the values even if not the complete belief in the religion. This is why some parents allow their kids to stray from the religion, after a time. You may not realize that the values were instilled in you, but you were taught that murder, stealing, etc... is bad.

However, it SHOULD be left to the parents. People who do not care as much about the child as their parents will do all they can to make them a lifetime member of the religion. They will manipulate their impressionable minds.

I believe that the main point of religion is just to teach people what is right and what is wrong. I think you can follow it without believing in the god(s) of it, or every story they tell.

Yeah, I think you should bring them to church a few times but not that much as well as the possibility of other religions, so they are open to all. Most religions have similar basic values, and it should be the persons own choice to see what they choose.

 

[Reaver197]

Hmm, this is something I have been mulling over a bit myself. Personally, I was brought up by a fairly religious father, who took me to church every Sunday, but never forced me to accept it or believe in it (or scare me into it). He just sort of made sure I knew it was there and tried to talk to me about it sometimes (which I usually found extremely awkward because it made me realize that my father believed some things that went against the very things I learned in school).

Personally, how I would approach the education of a child, as a parent, would be to try and sculpt their general mindset and attitude, and try to keep explicit rules and beliefs to a minimum. I would try to teach a child to be inquisitive, always question or double-check what people say, though be expedient and conscientious about it. Don't disregard other people's ideas right away or off-hand, give it some consideration, test it, critique it, then determine whether or not it's right or true. Be courteous and respectful, always trying to do what you would want others to do to you. Always test your ideas against reality and against other proven evidence, and be ready to drop it if it does not stand up or if new evidence comes along that contradicts it. Always be ready to learn and revise. There are never really any absolutes, there are always exceptions to the rule, but understand why there are exceptions and for what reasons.

Once they've gotten a good intellectual framework to work with, I'll let themselves fill in the specific knowledge, only adding my own if it's of the utmost importance or they ask for it. I believe it's important for a child's emotional and intellectual growth to give them intellectual freedom and let them find things out for themselves.

As for specifically about religion, they'll undoubtedly have to learn about Christianity and all the major religions, as their influence on human affairs and history is considerable. But to raise them as either specifically being for or against, I'm not really quite sure. I would hate to precondition and bias them with a certain belief without them fully understanding it or wanting it. Yet, on the other hand, I'm teaching them to keep themselves in check by what reason and evidence allows, and thus religion would probably be precluded to them.

At the same time, I on one hand loathe telling other people on specifically how they can and can't raise their own children, but on the other hand, the future stability of the world and their childrens' lives depend upon the beliefs of those that they'll grow up with and come in contact with. If some parents are teaching their kids something that would undermine not only their safety, intellectual freedom, and stability, but also everyone else, then it would seem that necessity should step in and prevent the parents from doing so as to provide a better future for their child and everyone else. It's a tough thought.

However, I am certain that teaching a child that if they don't believe in a religion that they'll be consigned forever to ****ation and torture is completely immoral, if not abuse of a child. It capitalizes on their fear rather than teaching them and letting actually truly think and consider it.

But, yeah, this is something to thought upon more and considered through the years.

 

[zrky]

So far, I've found myself Agnostic. Basically, I was left to make my own decision, even though my parents never said it outright.

I'd like to say that I'll be a parent who will leave his kids to do what they wish, and that's what I want to do. But I wouldn't say that's what I'll do for sure -- it's easier said than done, I'm sure.

One thing I do know, though; I am NOT going to be one of those elitist parents who disowns their child for believing what they want, or for marrying someone outside their religion. Seriously, I hear of that crap and I want to punch the parent(s) in the face.

Same, I really don't know how I will end up acting with children i say and think many things but never have or will be able to do them. I have never heard of a parent disowning a child for not believing the same way.

In my opinion, religion was and is a way to explain all the events that happen in our world. The non Christian Muslim or Jewish religions seem to have better ideas. They have many gods for different reasons, really having one omnipotent god is just senseless. I really wouldn't care if my kids believed in creation or God, as long as they don't tell me im going to hell for not believing in Him, and I wouldn't care if they became Satanists, as long as they don't commit stupid incidents im fine with what they (will) believe.

 

[RDK]

Considering the atrocious childhood (now that I look back on it) and horrible teen years that I suffered due to differing beliefs between myself and my parents, it's never something that I would ever want my children to go through.

If anything, I'd make sure that they stay as far away from religion as possible, teach them about logic and rationality as much as possible, and let them ultimately choose. That's the best anyone can hope for.

One thing I won't do is force them into any sort of philosophical viewpoint. Even if they turned out to be Christians (which would probably kill me), the least I could do is respect it in light of what happened to me.

 

[illinialex24]

Considering the atrocious childhood (now that I look back on it) and horrible teen years that I suffered due to differing beliefs between myself and my parents, it's never something that I would ever want my children to go through.

If anything, I'd make sure that they stay as far away from religion as possible, teach them about logic and rationality as much as possible, and let them ultimately choose. That's the best anyone can hope for.

One thing I won't do is force them into any sort of philosophical viewpoint. Even if they turned out to be Christians (which would probably kill me), the least I could do is respect it in light of what happened to me.

At least you would be willing to respect them, because although your views are different, the people who I find are the most morally justified are those who don't try to force their beliefs upon others. That I believe is the true test, do you try to force others to believe what you do. You can argue based on reason, but forcing someone to change their opinion based on faith is a crime.

 

[Vlade]

Ultimately it is up to the child as to whether or not they would want to believe in a religion. Their decision should be respected no matter what the outcome is. There are many great morals and lessons to be learnt in church that are essential for growing up and experiencing life to the fullest extent, so it is great if the child wants to attend. But if the child does not want to go, it should not be forced upon him/her. When I was a child I had attended church a few times, and thought it was quite nice, although it wouldn't be something I would like to do very regularly. So of course, the child may wish to attend church on an irregular basis if they desire.

 

[Overload]

It seems this thread is split between let your kids choose/bring them up in religion then let them choose. If you are going to let them choose later on then why choose for them in the beginning(if you are part of the second group)? Sure church can teach morals, but children can learn them from plenty of places. Parents being the main one. There are also teachers, and certain children's books.

 

[Mewter]

Easily, my choice would just be to let them know a bit about every religion and show them everything. It would just be like a "You're off on your own, pal" philosophy. There's no use indoctrinating children before they're ready to think for themselves. No, unclouded and self-formulated thinking is the best way to go.
Morals can come from anywhere(mostly parents, though).

 

[Pr0phetic]

Honestly i'd let them choose, but i coouldn't help but be a little forceful about tryign to bring them to my beliefs. I have no problem with them choosing however, my wifey is Hindu.

 

[~ Gheb ~]

My parents let me choose when I was ~3 yo I think. I said..."nah I don't wanna", so now I'm "without religion" ever since (idk the english word for it o_0). It barely matters for the child I think, since it probably doesn't care/know about it as much as we do.

Jam Stunna brought up a good point though: As parents it is impossible not to influence children.

 

[Mith_]

I find that forcing things just doesn't work. When they become an adult they will just end up not wanting to do what they were forced to do as a child, especially if it was undesirable.

Spoiler

this goes along with more than just religion

 

[Zero Beat]

I plan on teaching my children the planets. And then once they grasp that concept real well, we'll move on to moons, and then the sunnnnn..And then the planets, moons, and sun together making the solar system...Then he/she shall learn what the Oort cloud is. Star constellations! Star Nurseries! Galaxies! The universe! Multi-universes!

 

[smaci92]

forcing a religion on your child just doesn't work...but I think you can teach them the religion you were taught as they grow up. then they can choose to follow it or not when they are older...