OK, let's settle this once and for all: which super-powered animal team 80s cartoon had the best theme song? I can't decide between Avenger Penguins and Street Sharks
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Rise of the TMNT was a victim caught in the crossfire of unnecessary Thundercats Roar and TTG hate, change my mind.
Seriously though, comedy reboots are not the enemy, this is:
The Crash 4 redesigns are growing on me, but I still prefer the N. Sane Trilogy designs. Anything's better than tattoo'd Crash and square Coco though.
I love this ad because it begins off genuinely serious and harrowing, then it's like "nah, it wasn't her mother or anything, it was just Crash Bandicoot. Don't pirate our games" - but like, the ad's score makes it seem like it's a big twist, and it's worse that Lara Croft died than what you were expecting.
This fake box art from 2008 predicted modern day memes
In all honesty though, modern memes are basically the same as a child coming up with video game ideas.
Nintendo needs to make Nintenhamsters for sole purpose of getting a hamster cage as a Smash stage. There is no thing more perfectly fit for a platform fighter stage.
When playing retro games with save states, extra lives are good because funny number goes kaching.
If Alex Kidd DX could start off as a fangame and get licensed as an official, paid product, then surely they could do the same for Sonic Studio. That game's quality and understanding of the source material matches even Mania.
The Kencineroar trailer is strange - a martial artist fights a boxer, then a wrestler comes in uninvited? what rules are they playing by?
NES emulation on Wii had such an unnerving vibe to it.
I'd love to have Coin Mode and Single Button Mode back.
Sorry Bonus Mode.
When I was growing up I always thought the Rayman 2 box art looked way too dramatic
Then I discovered what it looks like in the US.
Jesus Christ graphic designers, it's just Rayman, not a god damn Lord of the Rings X Matrix crossover.
You know how KFC opened a gaming Twitch channel? I had a dream where KFC opened a bank, and my parents were forcing me to start my debit card with KFC.
The Poison Mushroom could easily be changed to the Mini-Mushroom and made into a power-up instead of a power-down.
The Sans costume makes a decent outfit for a Kumatora Mii.
Funky Kong is a weird case when it comes to Smash because you could extremely easily work out an original moveset for him with surface level knowledge alone, but he just makes more sense as an echo fighter.
The ads for Struggling on NintendoLife are genuinely making me a little queasy - I have a high gross out tolerance and I'd have no problem with it on the side of an article, but maybe that's not the best game to give a giant banner ad...
I never got the significance to Waluigi being made to be a tennis partner. Most Mario characters were created for really insignificant reasons - Luigi was a palette swap they just so happened to give a name as opposed to "Mario (II)"; Yoshi was pretty much just a power-up, and Diddy was even less significant: a life bar.
If Nintendo need a tennis partner for Pauline, Stanley would be the best candidate. Cranky could work too, but that'd raise a lot of questions that benefit nobody to answer - except Kotaku since they'd get a lot of clicks.
Pimp my ride.
I'm sure there was a Donkey Kong game where Funky had an invisible surf board, but I can't find it no matter how hard I try.
Legalise the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated custom stage for competitive play
I wouldn't be opposed to Fall Guy in Smash.
Doomguy probably has the award for "most names for a single video game character in a single region" - like, there's Doomguy, Doom Marine, Doom Slayer, and just Slayer.
The most unnecessary video game in history is probably Twisted Metal: Small Brawl. It's a game with a genius idea on paper, make a kid-friendly version of the T-rated Twisted Metal featuring toy cars - but the thing is: Small Brawl was ALSO rated T, therefore eliminating any need for it to exist in the first place.
LJN, Blast, Outright Games, the spirit of terrible shovelware never goes - and there's something strangely comforting in that.
If Angry Birds was made today the enemies would be green crows.
Just because a game can have a story mode, doesn't mean it should have a story mode. World of Light is the best proof of this you can get.
When they made Chicken Run, they gave all the chickens neck-wear as to hide the seams in their metal skeletons.
I guess that makes it the first Western hen tie movie.
Me: "No Straight Roads has the ugliest character designs I've ever seen!"
Also me: Gawks over Motherboard from Cyberchase as "character design goals"
The Sonic spirit choices really confuse me. Why don't Classic, Rookie and Zavok have spirits? Why isn't Tails a Legend class? Why doesn't Gamma enhance to a Flicky spirit? If Gamma has a spirit why can't Tikal?
Imagine people in 10 years trying to understand all the fan art they find on Google Images of Incineroar beating up the Grinch.
Since Matt Groening draws Itchy and Scratchy in the same style as The Simpsons themselves, does that mean that Itchy and Scratchy is just a series of televised snuff films, not cartoons?
If Donkey Kong was a donkey, would he be called Gorilla A-actually, I'm not sure if I can say that with SmashBoards' profanity filter.
Normalise run buttons in 3D platformers.
What if Crash got in Smash, and got the Ike treatment for his alts?
It seems the trick to putting a memorable Pokemon newcomer in Smash is to choose one literally nobody cares about. Everyone loves Jigglypuff and Incineroar in Smash, but nobody talks about Greninja and Lucario, who are fan favourites within the Pokemon fandom. You know what Henry Ford didn't say, but his impostor still had a point about "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would've said faster horses." - or in this case they would've said Gardevoir.
If the Game Boy NSO leak is true, this could be the way Mole Mania becomes recognised as the Nintendo classic it is.
I can dream, can't I?
Yoshi is Mabowser.
I'm starting to get a reputation around here as "the Space Invaders guy", which is a title I'll happily accept. Sure, I'd prefer to be "the Muddy Mole guy" or "the Jill Dozer guy", but "the Space Invaders guy" is still a very honourable title. -
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