• Welcome to Smashboards, the world's largest Super Smash Brothers community! Over 250,000 Smash Bros. fans from around the world have come to discuss these great games in over 19 million posts!

    You are currently viewing our boards as a visitor. Click here to sign up right now and start on your path in the Smash community!
Janx_uwu

Janx_uwu

Writing Team
Smash Champion 18 From Faraway Avalon
Joined
Last seen
Viewing latest content
Messages
2,975
Reaction score
23,173
Points
665
Gender
Male
Pronouns
He/Him

Profile posts Latest activity Postings About

  • Janx_uwu
    A Sonic Robo Blast 2 platfighter got announced today. Currently in development, but man, am I excited. Also Bad Piggie will soon be a character, and yes you literally make a hard-to-control vehicle at the start of the level and try to finish said level with that same vehicle.
    Janx_uwu
    Been feelin' like I burned out
    Gotta put my head down for a while
    Keep a low profile
    Stop using my phone, but now
    Feels like I’ve stopped too long
    Too much time in pause, yeah
    Feels like I'm stuck in limbo
    Shouldn't have stopped at all
    Lost the ball, took a fall
    Gotta pick myself up again
    Gotta press restart, change it up
    Here we go again
    Restart in the middle of the day
    Don’t gotta wake up to try again, start it over
    Don't wait 'til the end of the week, month, or year
    Gotta press restart, change it up
    Here we go again
    Restart in the middle of the day
    Don't gotta wake up to try again, start it over
    Don't wait ‘til the end of the week, month, or year
    Been feelin' like it's too much
    Can't get out of bed now, I’m tired
    Been goin’ through my days numb
    Just gonna tap out for a while
    Feels like I fell too far
    Like I'll never catch up, yeah
    Feels like I’ll come in last
    Can't let myself stop too long
    Lose the ball, take a fall
    Gotta pick myself up again
    Give me a break
    Don't wanna explain myself again
    Don't make me hash it out once more
    Don’t make me hash it out once more
    Gotta press restart, change it up
    Here we go again
    Restart in the middle of the day
    Don't gotta wake up to try again, start it over
    Don't wait ‘til the end of the week, month, or year
    Gotta press restart, change it up
    Here we go again
    Restart in the middle of the day
    Don't gotta wake up to try again, start it over
    Don't wait ‘til the end of the week, month, or year
    Gotta press restart, change it up
    Here we go again
    Restart in the middle of the day
    Don't gotta wake up to try again, start it over
    Don't wait ‘til the end of the week, month, or year
    • Like
    Reactions: Linkmain-maybe and FazDude
    Jondolio
    Jondolio
    We're no strangers to love
    You know the rules and so do I
    A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
    You wouldn't get this from any other guy
    I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
    Gotta make you understand
    Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
    We've known each other for so long
    Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
    Inside we both know what's been going on
    We know the game and we're gonna play it
    And if you ask me how I'm feeling
    Don't tell me you're too blind to see
    Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
    Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
    Never gonna give, never gonna give
    (Give you up)
    We've known each other for so long
    Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
    Inside we both know what's been going on
    We know the game and we're gonna play it
    I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
    Gotta make you understand
    Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
    Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
    Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Wario Wario Wario
    Wario Wario Wario
    My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy. Let's see. I'm nine feet tall. I weigh 643 pounds, got a bit of a temper on me. Hey, you moved my stump! My passion level's very near the surface, I guess, not gonna lie. Anyhoo, what else, uh... I'm a wrecker. I wreck thing. Professionally. I'm gonna wreck it! I'm very good at what I do. Probably the best I know. The thing is, fixing is the name of the game. Literally, Fix-it Felix, Jr. Fix-It, Felix! I can fix it! So, yeah, naturally, The guy with the name Fix-It Felix is the good guy. He's nice enough as good guys go. Definitely fixes stuff really well. But, if you've got a magic hammer from your father, how hard can it be? If he was a regular contractor carpenter guy, I guarantee you, you would not be able to fix the damage that I do as quickly. And when Felix does a good job, he gets a medal. But are there medals for wrecking stuff really well? To that I say, "ha!" And, no, there aren't. Thirty years I've been doing this. And I've seen a lot of other games come and go. How sad. Think about those guys at Asteroids?. Boom! Gone. Centipede? Who knows where that guy is, you know? Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at. I'm very lucky. It's just, I gotta say, It becomes kinda hard to love your job... when no one else seems to like you for doing it. All clear! The arcade is closed! Shoryuken! Whoo! What a day! So, you want to head to Tapper's, Ken? If you're buying, buddy. Quitting time! I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way. If things were different after work. But it is what it is. Good job, everyone! Felix and the Nicelanders go hang out in their homes, which he's just fixed. And everyone, you know, they go to their homes, I go to mine, which happens to be a dump. And when I say "a dump". I don't mean like a shabby place. I mean an actual dump, where the garbage goes, and a bunch of bricks and smashed building parts. That's what I call home. I guess I can't bellyache too much. I got my bricks, I got my stump. It looks uncomfortable. It's actually fine. I'm good. But if I'm really honest with myself... I see Felix up there getting patted on the back, People are giving him pie and thanking him. And so happy to see him all the time. Sometimes I think... Man, it sure must be nice being the good guy. Nice share, Ralph. As fellow bad guys, we've all felt what you're feeling. And we've come to terms with it. Really? Right here. I am Zangief. I am bad guy. Hi, Zangief! Hi, Zangief. I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit bottom, I was crushing man's skull like sparrow egg between my thighs. And I think, "Why do you have to be so bad, Zangief?" "Why can't you be more like good guy?" Then I have moment of clarity. If Zangief is good guy, who'll crush man's skull like sparrow's egg between thighs? And I say, "Zangief, you are bad guy", "but this does not mean you are 'bad' guy." Right. I'm sorry. You lost me there. Zombie! Bad guy! Hi, zombie. Hi, zombie. Zangief saying labels not make you happy. Good! Bad! You must love you. Yeah! Inside here! Yes. Okay. All right, I get you. Watch out. It's dripping. Question, Ralph. We've been asking you to Bad-Anon for years now. And tonight you finally show up. Why is that? I don't know. I just felt like coming. I mean, I suppose it has something to do with the fact that... Well, today is the 30th anniversary of my game. Well, happy anniversary, Ralph. Thanks, Satan. It's Sateen, actually. Got it. But here's the thing. I don't want to be the bad guy anymore. You can't mess with the program, Ralph. You're not going turbo, are you? Turbo? No, I'm not going turbo! Come on, guys! Is it turbo to want a friend? Or a medal? Or a piece of pie every once in a while? Is it turbo to want more out of life? Yes! Ralph, Ralph, we get it. But we can't change who we are. And the sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be. Hey. One game at a time, Ralph. Now let's close out with the bad guy affirmation. I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me. Okay, gang, see you next week. Listen, I can't do snacks next week. Hang in there, Ralph. Hey, zombie, don't forget your hatchets. There you go. Step aside, sir. Random security check. Random my behind! You always stop me. I'm just a Surge Protector doing my job, sir. Name? Lara Croft. Name? Wreck-It Ralph! And where are you coming from? Pac-man. Did you bring any fruit with you? No! No. No fruit. Okay, then. Where are you heading? Fix-It Felix, Jr. Anything to declare? I hate you. I get that a lot. Proceed. Bad guy coming! If you leave your game, stay safe, stay alert, And whatever you do, don't die. Because if you die outside your own game, you don't regenerate. Ever. Game ove. Here you go, buddy. It's fresh. Straight from Pac-man's. Hang in there, guys. Name? "Happy 30th anniversary"? They're having a party without me. Pac-man? They invited pac-man? That cherry-chasing dot-muncher isn't even part of this game! Great party, Felix. Why, thank you, friend. Felix. You're needed on the dance floor! Whoo! Fix-It Felix! Whoo-whoo! Fix-It Felix! I'll bet that's Mario. Fashionably late, per the norm. I'll get it, Felix. It's Ralph! He'll wreck the party! Hide the stemware! Get rid of him, Felix. Oh, right. I'll go talk to him. Carry on, everyone. Ralph, can I help you? Hey, Felix. Just wanted to check on you. I saw a big expl*si*n or something go over the building there. Those were just fireworks. Fireworks. Okay. Phewf. Somebody's birthday, or... Well, it's more of an anniversary. The 30th anniversary of our game, actually. What? Is that today? I know! I'm such a dummy with dates. Anyway, congratulations. Thank you, Ralph. And to you, too. Hi. Just a heads-up, Felix. They're bringing out the cake in a few shakes. Hey, Glen. Ralph. Cake? Heard about this cake stuff. Never had it. No one ever seems to throw it out. So it never ends up in the dump. I never actually tasted it. I've always wanted to try cake. I don't suppose you'd like to come in and have a slice, would you? Hey-o, everybody! I'm okay. I'm okay. Fit as a fiddle. Now, you all know Ralph. Evening. Evening, Nell, Lucy, Don, Dana... Deanna. Big Gene! Why is he here? He's just here for a slice of cake. And I'm a big part of the game, technically speaking. Why are you here, Gene? Oh look! The cake! Well, I'll be dipped. You've really outdone yourself, Mary. Oh, and look! There's all of us at the top. Each apartment is everyone's favorite flavor. Norwood's is red velvet. Guilty! And lemon for Lucy, rum cake for Gene, And for Felix... Hey, Mary. Um... What's the flavor of that mud that I'm stuck in there? Chocolate. I've never been real fond of chocolate. Well, I did not know that. One other little thing. I hate to be picky, but this angry little guy here... My cake! ...might be a lot happier if you put him up here with everyone else. See that? Look at that smile. No, no. You see, Ralph, there's no room for you up here. What about this? We can make room. Here. We could take turns. Easy. How about we just eat the cake? Hang on. Felix needs to be on the roof. Because he's about to get his medal! Then how about we just take that medal. And give it to Ralph for once? Would that be the end of the world, Gene? Now you're just being ridiculous. Only good guys win medals, And you, sir, are no good guy. I could be a good guy if I wanted to, and I could win a medal! And when you do, come and talk to us. And then would you finally let me be on top of the cake with you guys? If you won a medal, We'd let you live up here in the penthouse! But it will never happen. Because you're just the bad guy who wrecks the building. No, I'm not. Yes, you are! No, I'm not! Yes, you are. All right, Gene. You know what? I'm gonna win a medal. I am gonna win a medal! The shiniest medal this place has ever seen! A medal that will be so good that it will make Felix's medals wet their pants! And good night! Thank you for the party. Is he serious? Oh please! Where's a bad guy going to win a medal? Of course he's not serious. I've never been more serious about anything in my life. That's why I came straight here, Tapper. You've never given me a bum steer. Now, come on. Where can a guy like me go and win a medal? I don't think such a game exists, Ralph. Come on. You know people. There's got to be... Tapper, I need a root beer. Coming! Hold that thought. Okay. As you were saying. I was saying, I can't spend another 30 years living alone in the garbage. I'm not going back without a medal. Well, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe somebody left a medal here. You're welcome to dig through the lost and found. Okay, let's see what we got here. Shoo! Shoo! Go on, get out of here. Mushroom? No. What is this? No. Come on, Zangief! Gross. What am I doing? Hey, excuse you! We are humanity's last hope. Our mission? Destroy all cy-bugs. We are humanity's last hope. You okay there, space cadet? We've only been plugged in a week. And every day it's, "Climb the building, then fight bugs." "Climb the building, fight more bugs!" Yeah, yeah. Right. Look. Easy on the overalls, spaceman. It's tough all over, all right? And all for what? A lousy medal? Medal? You win a medal? Yeah, medal of heroes. Ooh. Is it shiny? Pretty shiny. Ooh! And it says "Hero" on it? Uh-huh. And you say you win it by climbing a building? And fighting bugs! Right, bugs. Listen. Is there any chance I could go with you to your game and you know, maybe get one of those medals? Negatory. Does that mean maybe? No! Look, only the bravest and the best serve in our corps. Bug! We are humanity's last hope. Attention. The arcade will open in five minutes. Please report to your games. I can't feel my legs. What is all this stuff? Smells like ralph in here. Okay. All right. What was it called again? Hero's something. Duty. Hero's duty. There it is. Sorry, Q*bert. It's me, Ralph. Shh! The wall. Morning, kids. Come on in. Good to see you. Good to see you. You, too, little fella. Quarter alert! Quarter alert! This is not a drill. Ooh! Sweet golden medal! On a planet with no name, a top-secret experiment has gone horribly wrong. You are humanity's last hope. Rooting-tooting, ready for sh**ting! All right. Now listen up, because I'm only going to say this once. Fear is a four-letter word, ladies. If you want to go pee-pee in your big-boy slacks, keep it to yourself. It's make your mamas proud time! I love my mama! Heads up! First-person shooter, coming through! Ooh, robot! Boop, boop, boop. Game play in three, Two, one. We are humanity's last hope. Our mission? Destroy all cy-bugs. You ready, rookie? Let's find out. Sweet mother hubbard! No, no, no! Wait a second! Aah! Cy-bug, twelve o'clock. Take it, newbie. No, no! Wait, wait! Watch it, rookie! These monsters become what they eat. My g*n! Give me that back. sh**t the eggs before they hatch! No! Something's coming out of their bottom! - Gross! Markowski! Get back in formation! All right, ladies, The kitten whispers and tickle fights stop now. The entrance to the lab is straight ahead. I'll meet you guys inside! No! Sanctuary! Sanctuary! I thought this was going to be like Centipede! When did video games become so violent and scary? Please, get me out of here! Take her! Game over. What a rip-off! Get off me! It's game over. Stop it! Beacon up! Cease fire! Cease fire! Attention! Return to start position. Return to start position. Here, let me help you. Sorry about that. Yeah, you must be upset. Markowski. Who? Whoa! Yeah, me. I'm Markowski. What's the first rule of Hero's Duty? No cuts, no butts, no coconuts? Never interfere with the first-person shooter. Our job is to get the gamers to the top of that building. so they can get a medal, and that's it! So stick to the program, soldier! Right. Right. Aye, aye. Quarter alert! Quarter alert! All right, p*ssy willows. Back to start positions! Yeah, right. No way I'm going through that again. So that's where they keep the medal huh? New racers daily. Sweet! I got next game. Go away, kid! We're going to play all nine of today's racers! Yeah! Sorry. Where's the wrecking guy? Where's Ralph? He should be wrecking the building. Shh! Stick with the program. Fix-It, Felix! I can fix it! Ralph! Quarter alert! Game on! Do something, Felix! Just act natural. I'll fix it. Ralph! Ralph! What the... Ralph? Ralph! Oh my land! Where is he? Mr. Litwak! What's the trouble, sweetheart? The game's busted. I can fix it! I can fix it! Oh boy. Looks like the game's gone cuckoo, like my nana. Sorry, sweetie. Here's your quarter back. But what about the game? I'll have someone look at it tomorrow... But if he can't fix it, it might be time to put old Ralph and Felix out to pasture. Like my nana. Ladies and gentlemen, we're out of order. Sweet mercy! Without Ralph, we're doomed! They're going to pull our plug! Okay, everybody, calm down. Ralph probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tapper's again. See? There he is now. Why, it's Q*bert. What brings you here, neighbor? What's he saying, Felix? Stand by. My Q*bert-ese is a little rusty. Ralph's gone turbo! Ooh! Shiny. Attention! The arcade is now closed. Did you get a load of Markowski? Shut your chew holes. Cy-bug. Taste it! Slick tiddlywinking, pint-size. I'm Fix-It Felix, Jr., ma'am. From the game Fix-It Felix, Jr. Jiminey jaminey! Look at that high definition. Your face! It's amazing! Flattery don't charge these batteries, civilian. Now, state your business. I'm looking for my colleague, Wreck-It Ralph? Never heard of him. Well, Q*bert saw him come in here. Impossible. Nothing gets past me. That came from the tower. Nice eggs. Nice eggs! Okay. That was easy. Congratulations, soldier. It is my honor to bestow upon you The medal of heroes. Wow! No way! Ten-hut! Wow! History will long revere your courage and sacrifice. Well, thank you! You have etched in the rock of virtue. A legacy beyond compare. Thanks, guys. At ease! You are the universe's greatest hero. Oops! The living embodiment of all this corps represent. Bravery. Integrity. Grace under pressure. And above all, dignity. Escape pod activated. Get off my face! Incoming! Ralph! Cy-bug! A-ha! No! Sayonara, sucker! "Sugar rush"? No! This is that candy go-kart game over by the Whack-a-Mole. I gotta get out of here. Oh no! My medal! No, no, no, no, my medal! No, no, my medal! Hi, mister. Hello. Man, you scared me, kid. I nearly soiled myself. What's your name? Ralph. Wreck-It Ralph. You're not from here, are you? No, well, yeah. I mean, I mean not from right in this area. I'm just doing some work here. What kind of work? Some routine candy tree trimming. You probably want to stand back. In fact, this whole area is technically closed while we're trimming. Who's "we"? Candy tree department. Where is everybody else? It's just me today. So you just meant like the royal "we"? Yep. That's right. Hey, are you a hobo? No. I'm not a hobo, but I am busy. Okay? So you go home. What's that? Didn't hear you. Your breath is so bad it made my ears numb. Listen, I tried to be nice. I tried to be nice. You're mimicking me. You're mimicking me! Okay. Okay. That is rude, and this conversation is over. And this conversation is over. I wouldn't grab that branch if I were you. I'm from the candy tree department, so I know what... It's a double stripe. Double stripes break. Guh-doy! Why are your hands so freakishly big? I don't know. Why are you so freakishly annoying? Why are you so freakishly... Sweet mother of monkey milk! A gold coin! Don't even think about it. That is mine. Race you for it! Hey! I don't have to race for it because it's mine! Double stripe! Come back here! The winner! Give it back! Give it! Whoa! Double stripe. Thank you! Wait! Let me talk to you for one second. Okay. Here's the thing. I'm not from the candy tree department. Lying to a child. Shame on you, Ralph. But I wasn't lying about the medal. That is my medal! That's why I was climbing the tree. It's mine! It's precious to me. That thing is my ticket to a better life. Yeah, well, now it's my ticket. What the... See you, chump! Come back! I'll find you! I will find you! Double stripe! Nowhere to hide! Yeah, he banged around in here like some kind of hot shot, then he went barreling down into that sweet little game like a crazy person. "Sugar Rush" Cy-bugs would chew up that game faster than a chicken hawk in a coop of crippled roosters. What was that, now? What are you, thick? There was a cy-bug on that shuttle! Do you even know what a cy-bug is? I can't say that I do, ma'am. Cy-bugs are like a virus. They don't know they're in the game. All they know is eat, k*ll, multiply. Without a beacon to stop them, They'll consume Sugar Rush. But do you think they'll stop there? Yes! Wrong! Viruses do not stop! Once those cy-bugs finish off Sugar Rush, they'll invade every other game until this arcade is nothing but a smoking husk of forgotten dreams. Kohut! My cruiser. Jeepers. Is she always this intense? It's not her fault. She's programmed with the most tragic back-story ever. The one day she didn't do a perimeter check... Her wedding day. Wait, ma'am! I'm going with you. Like fun you are, short stack. You die outside your game, you don't regenerate. Well, neither do you, ma'am. And it is my job to fix what Ralph wrecks. And I cannot ask you to risk your life cleaning up his mess. No flex on this one, ma'am. I am coming along with you. Citizens of Sugar Rush... Just in time. All hail our rightful ruler, King Candy. Hello, my royal subjects! Ha-ha! Have some candy! Thank you for that stirring introduction, Sour Bill. And thank you to today's avatars. It was a wonderful day of racing. It was. But now the arcade is closed, so it's time to wipe the slate clean. And race to decide our new roster. The first nine racers across that finish line will represent Sugar Rush as tomorrow's avatars! Race! Race! Race! Yes. Okay, calm down. Listen! This event is pay-to-play. We all know this. The fee to compete is one gold coin from your previous winnings, if you've ever won, which I have. Let me go first! King Candy! Taffyta Muttonfudge! Stay sweet! Adorabeezle Winterpop! Gloyd Orangeboar! Little stealer! Wait till I catch that brat. Minty Zaki. Snowanna Rainbeau. Rancis Fluggerbutter. Jubileena Bing-Bing. Swizzle Malarkey. Candlehead. Sour Bill, who's that last one? Vanellope von Schweetz! Yippee! I'm in the race! Vanellope? The glitch! Now, now! Everything is all right! Security! Come here, kid! We're not going to hurt you, you little freak! Get back here! Slow down! Slow down a little bit. You! Give me back my medal right now! Oh boy! Go! What is that? Come on! Go! Roll! Careful! What are you doing? Come back here! I can't move! Now we got him! Oh good, the cops. She went that way! Hold still! Take that! What are you doing? Okay, folks. Calm down! Everything's all right. The monster's been caught! We'll repair all the damage. Don't worry. We will have our race before the arcade open. And I'm in it. Yes! There's no way that I am racing with a glitch. Rancis, Candlehead, come on. Sour Bill, that glitch cannot be allowed to race! And bring that thing to my castle. Guys! She took... O-re-o, oreee-o Sour Bill, de-taffify this monster so we can see what we're up against here. Kay. Milk my duds! It's Wreck-It Ralph? Yeah. Who are you, the guy that makes the donuts? Please. No. I'm King Candy! I see you're a fan of pink. Salmon. Salmon, that's obviously sal... What are you doing here? Look, your candiness, this is just a big misunderstanding. Just get me out of this cupcake, I'll get my medal, and I'll be out of your way. Your medal? Bad guys don't win medals. Well, this one did. I earned it over in Hero's Duty. You game-jumped? Ralph, you're not going turbo, are you? What? No, no. Because if you think you can come in here to my kingdom and take over my game, you've got another thing coming! Easy, your puffiness. It's not my fault one of your children of the candy corn stole my medal. "Children of the candy corn"? Who'd... The glitch! The coin she used to buy her way into the race. That was your medal? She did what? I need that back! Well, I'm afraid I can't help you. It's gone, you know. It's nothing but code now. It will stay that way until someone wins the cup at the end of the race. Maybe I'll have to have a little talk with the winner then. Is that a threat I smell? Beyond the halitosis you so obviously suffer from. Listen, nilly-wafer, I'm not leaving without my medal! Yes, you are. Wynchel, Duncan, get him out of that cupcake and on the first train back home. And if I ever see you here again, Wreck-It Ralph, I'll lock you in my fungeon. Fungeon? Fun dungeon, you know? It's a play on words. It's the... Never mind! Now I've got a glitch to deal with, thanks to you. Goodbye, Wreck-It Ralph! It hasn't been a pleasure. This thing is hard as a rock. I can see that. Get the tools. What tools? Quiet, you! What? No! Take it easy, big boy! Stay away from me! He's getting away! Quick! Call out the devil dogs. Chocolate. I hate chocolate! I gotta get my medal back. The pot goes to the winning racer! Hey, kids! Can I talk to you for a second? Hello, fellow racers! It's that little crumb snatcher. Candlehead, Taffyta, Rancis, you're looking well. Came by to check out the competition, huh? Well, here it is, the Lickity Split! Sheesh. Looks like she built it herself. I built it myself. Fastest pedal-power, west of the Whac-A-Mole. Check her out. Oh Vanellope, it's so... you. But you have to back out of the race. Yeah. Oh no, I don't, Because I paid my fee and I'm on the board... So, yeah, I'm definitely racing. Yeah, well, King Candy says glitches can't race. I'm not a glitch, Taffyta. I've just got pixslexia, okay? The rules are there for a reason, Vanellope. To protect us. Say I'm you. I'm in my weird little car and I'm driving. And I actually feel kind of cool for once. And then, all of a sudden, oh no. I'm glitching! Hey! See? You're an accident just waiting to happen. Oh no! I glitched, too! Uncool. Stop it! Stop! You're breaking it! Please! I just want to race like you guys. You will never be a racer because you're a glitch. And that's all you'll ever be! Hey! Leave her alone! Let's get out of here! Scram, you rotten little cavities! Before I throw you in the mud! What are you looking at? You're welcome, you rotten little thief. I'm not a thief! I just borrowed your stupid coin. I was going to give it back to you as soon as I won the race. It's not a coin. It is a medal. Coin, medal, whatever. Just go back to your own dumb game and win another one. I can't. I didn't win it in my game. I won it in Hero's Duty. Hero's Doodie? It's not that kind of duty. I bet you really got to watch where you step in a game called Hero's Doodie! What did you win the medal for, wiping? I hope you washed your hands after you handled that medal. Listen! One more, one more. Why did the hero flush the toilet? Say "why"? Why? Because it was his doodie! How dare you insult Hero's Duty? You little guttersnipe! I earned that medal. You better get it back for me toot-sweet, sister! Well, unless you've got a go-kart hidden in the fat folds of your neck, I can't help you! What a moron. Hey, genius! It's a jawbreaker. You're never going to break... Enjoy your little tantrum, diaper baby? Leave me alone. Look, you want that medal, right? And I want to race. So here's what I'm thinking. You help me get a new kart... A real kart... And I'll win the race and get you back your medal. You want me to help you? All you gotta do is break something for me. Come on. What do you say, friend? We are not friends. Come on, pal. You son of a g*n. Come on, buddy. Let's shake on it. Come on, chumbo. Ralph, my man. My main man. Hey! My arm's getting tired. Do we have a deal or not? You better win. Well, I'll say this much, they don't call your friend "Wreck-It" for nothing. There's the shuttle. Is he in there? Nope. Lucky for him. Otherwise I would have slapped his corpse. No cy-bug, either. Gotta find it before it lays its filthy eggs. It came this way, but the sugar particles in the atmosphere are jamming my sensor. Can't get a read on it. So what is it with this Wreck-It joker? Why did he go awol? I wish I knew, ma'am. He was acting all squirrelly last night... going on about cake and medals... But I never thought he'd go turbo. "Go turbo"? That's right, you guys just got plugged in. Well, back when the arcade first opened, TurboTime was by far the most popular game. And Turbo... Turbo-Tastic! - He loved the attention. - Turbo-Tastic! So, when Roadblasters got plugged in and stole Turbo's thunder... New game. All right! Boy, was he jealous. So jealous that he abandoned his game and tried to take over the new one. These are the greatest graphics I've ever seen! Turbo-tastic! Hey. Is that... That looks like Turbo. What's Turbo doing in this game? Aw, come on! Mr. Litwak! Turbo ended up putting both games and himself out of order, for good. Yes, the selfish man is like a mangy dog chasing a cautionary tale. I know, right? That's why I have to get Ralph home. Or the same thing's gonna happen to my game. What is this? "Nesquik-sand"? Quicksand? I'll hop out and grab you one of those vines. I can't hop. I'm hop-less. This is hopeless! We're going to drown here. Stop thrashing. Stop moving. You're making us sink faster. We're going to die! Get a hold of yourself! The vines. They're laffy taffy. They're attracted to whatever makes them laugh. Here, hit me again. That's not funny enough. Harder! Look, you're a nice guy. I can't... No, ma'am! The arcade is depending on us. Now do your duty. That's an ord... It's working! Hit me again. Ooh, your eye. I can fix it. Now... San Fran-tastic! Again! You mean business! Yikes on bikes! Wow! We're... k*ll*ing... Them! Comedy gold! All right, enough with the goo-goo eyes. We've got work to do. Let's go. We lost the cy-bug. Come on. We'll get a better view from the air. You think you can fix that shuttle? Can do. Shh! All right, do your thing, knuckles. Bust it open! What's this? You're a full-on criminal, aren't you? Hey, we shook on it. Thank you, jeeves. What is this place? Where are the karts? You gotta make one. What? No, no. Look, kid, bad idea. Trust me. I don't make things. I break things. Well, it looks like you're going to be stepping outside your comfort zone, then, gladys. Ooh, this is a good one! Welcome to the bakery! Let's bake a kart! What is this, another game? Yeah, well, it's a mini-game. You have one minute to win it. What? Come on, Ralph! Go! Mixing. Put the ingredients in the bowl. And throw away the trash. Hairbrush. No! Underpants. No, no! You're getting all the wrong stuff, kid. I'm trying! Let me up there. I'll do it. No. Yes. Gross. Milk. Yes, yes, yes. Batter up! Come on! No sleeping on the job! Baking! Pump up the heat and hold the perfect temperature. Ralph, a little help here? I'm on it. Yeah, no problem. Give me this thing here. Okay, good. Little more. Yeah, that's it! Hold it, hold it, hold it. Yes! Come on. Get up, Ralph! Fifteen seconds! Decorating! Wheels first. How many? Four, doy! Got it. Now frosting. A buttload of frosting! No problem. Time's up! Congratulations. You did it, and here's your kart! Look, kid... I tried to warn you. I can't make things. I just break... I love it. You do? I love it. I love it! I love it! I love it! Look, it's got a real engine! And look at these wheels. I love it! I finally have a real kart! Come on. A work of art like this must be signed. Cream puffs. This is Beard Papa. The glitch is in the bakery! Get me King Candy! What? You have teeth? I don't think I've ever seen you smile before. I'm not smiling. I was... I'm gassy, okay? Hold it right there, glitch! And Wreck-It Ralph? Start the kart! Start the kart! What are you waiting for? Come on. Let's go! I don't know how to drive a real kart. You don't what? Are you hurt, sire? No, he just glazed me. Get them! Gangway! Stop, in the name of the king! That's me! Get off the road! Head for Diet Cola Mountain! Drive into the wall! What? Right there, between the two sugar-free lollipops! Are you crazy? Just do it! Where did they go? They should have just turned. Find that glitch! Destroy that kart! She can't be allowed to race! So let me get this straight. You don't know how to drive. Well, no, not technically. I just thought that... What did you think? "I'll just magically win the race" "just because I really want to!" Look, wise guy. I know I'm a racer. I can feel it in my code. That's it! I'm never getting my medal back. What is the big whoop about that crummy medal anyway? The big whoop? Well, this may come as a shock to you, but in my game, I'm the bad guy and I live in the garbage. Cool. No. Not cool. Unhygienic and lonely and boring. And that crummy medal was going to change all that. I go home with that baby around my neck and I'll get a penthouse. Pies. Ice sculptures. Fireworks! It's grown-up stuff. You wouldn't understand. No, I get it! That's exactly what racing would do for me! Well, guess what? What? News flash! Neither one of us is getting what we want! What was that? "Diet Cola Hot Springs." "Watch out for falling Mentos." Yeah! Check it out. Look! Whoa! You gotta watch out for the splash. That stuff is broiling hot. Yeah, I got that. Thank you. What is this dump? I think it's some sort of unfinished bonus level. Yeah. It's pretty cool, huh? I found that secret opening, and now I live here. See? Look, look, look. Welcome to my home! I sleep in these candy wrappers. I bundle myself up like a little homeless lady. By yourself? With all this garbage around you? Well, yeah. I mean, everyone here says I'm just a mistake, and that I wasn't even supposed to exist. What do you expect? Listen, kid... I know it's none of my business, but why do you even stick around this game? You really don't know anything, do you? Glitches can't leave their games. It's one of the joys of being me. Hey, what are you doing? Come on! I know it's a dump, but it's all I got. If you're going to be a racer, you have to learn how to drive. And you can't do that without a track. Whoa! All right, now. Let's hustle up. We've got some driving to do. I'm going to learn to drive! I'm going to learn to drive! Wait. Do you know how to drive? Yeah! I mean, I haven't done it, but... Look, I flew a spaceship today, okay? You crashed it. Just get in. How hard can it be? Okay... Start it up. There we go. So there are some buttons on the floor. Pedals. Pedals. Right. Now, that's the go pedal. That I believe is the stopper. And this... Wait. What is this? That doesn't do anything. Ooh, what does this joystick do? Okay, good. Let's try that again. I've been looking for a driver who is qualified So if you think that you're the one step into my ride I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine Got a sunroof top and a gangster lead So if you feel it, let me know, know, know So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go Get you where you wanna go, if you know what I mean Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine 'Cause it's 0 to 60 in 3.5 Push pedal shift it. Baby, you got the keys That's good. Keep going! Shift it again! Now shut up and drive, drive, drive Shut up and drive, drive, drive I told you, racing's in my code! So if you feel it, let me know, know, know I got that medal in the bag! Hey, Ralphie, watch this! Get you where you wanna go, if you know what I mean Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine Whoo-hoo! 'Cause it's 0 to 60 in 3.5 Baby, you got the keys Look out! Whoa! Shut up and drive, drive, drive Hot cola! Now shut up and drive So how did I do? Um... Well, you almost blew up the whole mountain. Right, right. That's a good note. You got to get that glitch under control, kid. Okay, I will, I will. And then you think I got a chance? Um... Tiny. Yes, I'm going to win! I'm going to win! I'm going to win! Top shelf. Top shelf. Did you find her? Tell me you found her. You didn't? Go. Leave me. Up, up, down, down... Start! The code. It's the sweet lifeblood of the game. Where are you? Let's see... Stadium, no. Jumbotron. Ha-ha! There it is. The winner's cup. One of these things is not like the others... It's you! We're going to give you a nice new home. Success! Sour Bill, I'm going out. You're in charge of the castle until I get back.
    Your face is still red. You might want to hit it again with your hammer. Oh, that's not blunt force trauma, ma'am. That's just the honey glow in my cheeks. Okay. Ma'am, I just gotta tell you... You are one dynamite gal. Wow, you are one dynamite gal. One dynamite gal. Dynamite gal. Dynamite gal. Dynamite... Get out. All I said is you're a dynamite gal. I said get out! Jiminey jaminey. Yes? I'm Fix-It Felix, Jr., sir, from the game Fix-It Felix, Jr. Have you seen my friend Ralph? Wreck-It Ralph? Yes. Yes, that's him! Should have locked him up when we had the chance. Locked him up? I'm not making the same mistake with you. Hurry, hurry! Let's go. Time's a-wastin'. Come on, Ralph! This is it. This is really happening. I almost don't believe it. I mean, I have dreamt about it for so long, and now... And now... Now I think I'm going to puke, actually. I mean, I think I might puke. You know, like a "vurp." a what? Vomit and a burp together, And you can taste it, and it's just like rising up. This is so exciting! Yes, it is. It's exciting. Am I ready to be a real racer? Ralph, what if the gamers don't like me? Who doesn't love a brat with dirty hair? Come on. Those people are going to love you. You know why? Because you're a winner. I'm a winner. And you're adorable! I'm adorable! And everyone loves an adorable winner! Yeah! Okay, come on. Listen to me. If you get nervous, just keep telling yourself, "I must win Ralph's medal or his life will be ruined." And have fun. Got it? Got it. Whoa! Wait! Hold on! Where are you going? I forgot something! I'll be right back! Kids. Ralph! There you are. Hello! You! I come alone, unarmed. I've had enough of you, pillow pants! Please. Calm down! Please, look. Don't! I'm going to beat the filling out of you! You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you? Ha! You hit a guy with glasses. That's... Well played. What do you want, Candy? Listen, I just want to talk to you. I'm not interested in anything you have to say. But how about this? Are you interested in this? My medal. How did you... It doesn't matter. It's yours! Go ahead, take it. Whoa. All I ask is that you hear me out. About what? Ralph, do you know what the hardest part about being a king is? Doing what's right, no matter what. Get to the point. Point being, I need your help. Sad as it is, Vanellope cannot be allowed to race. Why are you people so against her? I'm not against her! I'm trying to protect her! If Vanellope wins that race, she'll be added to the race roster. Then gamers can choose her as their avatar. And when they see her glitching and twitching and just being herself, they'll think our game is broken. We'll be put out of order for good. All my subjects will be homeless. But there's one who cannot escape because she's a glitch. Help! Somebody, help! Help! And when the game's plug is pulled, No! she'll die with it. You don't know that will happen. The gamers could love her. And if they don't? I know it's tough, But heroes have to make the tough choices, don't they? She can't race, Ralph, but she won't listen to me. So can I count on you to talk a little sense into her? Very good. I'll give you two some time alone. I'm back! Did you miss me? Yeah... Can we talk for a second? Wait. First, kneel down. What? No, we really... Will you just do it? Okay. Now, close your eyes. Vanellope... Shush! Close them! Okay. Open them up. "To stinkbrain". Gee, thanks. Turn it over. I made it for you. Just in case we don't win. Not that I think there's even a remote chance we're not going to win. Thanks, kid. Listen... Now rise, my royal chump. I've got a date with destiny. Ralph, come on. Move your molasses. Um... I've been thinking. That's dangerous. Who cares about this stupid race anyway? Right? That's not very funny, Ralph. No, I'm serious, and it was really fun to build the car and everything... But maybe you shouldn't do it. Hello? Is Ralph in there? I'd like to speak to him, please. Look, what I'm saying is you can't be a racer. What? Why would you... Wait a minute. No! Where did you get this? Look, I'm going to be straight with you, kid. I've been talking to King Candy. King Candy? Yeah. You sold me out? No, I didn't... Listen. You don't understand. No, I understand plenty. Traitor! I'm not a traitor. Listen. You're a rat! And I don't need you, and I can win the race on my own. But I'm trying to save your skin, kid! Put me down! Let me go! No, you listen to me. Do you know what's gonna happen when the players see you glitching? They gonna think the game's broken. I don't care! You're a liar! No! You better care, because if your game goes out of order, you go down with the ship, little sister! I'm not listening to you! Get out of my way! I'm going to that race! No, you're not! Take me down from here, Ralph, right now! No. I'm doing this for your own good! Wait, wait, wait. No. No. No, no, no, no, no! Please, Ralph! No! Stop it! Stop it! No! You really are a bad guy. Hello? Anybody home? Felix? Mary? Well, you actually went and did it. Gene. Where is everybody? They're gone. After Felix went to find you and then didn't come back... everyone panicked and abandoned ship. But I'm here now. It's too late, Ralph. Litwak's pulling our plug in the morning. But never let it be said that I'm not a man of my word. The place is yours, Ralph. Enjoy. Gene, wait! Wait! Listen, this is not what I wanted! Well, what did you want, Ralph? I don't know. I just... I was just tired of living alone in the garbage. Well, now you can live alone in the penthouse. Hey, cough drop. Explain something to me. If Vanellope was never meant to exist, then why is her picture on the side of the game console? What's going on in this candy-coated heart of darkness? Nothing. Talk! No. I'll lick you. You wouldn't. Yeah? That's like sandpaper! Wonder how many licks it will take to get to your center? It'll take it to my grave! Fair enough. They call you Sour Bill for a reason. Had enough yet? Okay, okay. I'll talk, I'll talk! Vanellope was a racer until King Candy tried to delete her code! Tried to delete her code? So that's why she's a glitch! Why is he doing this to her? I don't know! Suit yourself. No, no, no! I swear I don't know! He literally locked up our memories. And I cannot remember! Nobody can! But I do know this. He'll do anything to keep her from racing. Because if she crosses the finish line, the game will reset and she won't be a glitch anymore! Where is she now? In the fungeon with Fix-It Felix. Felix? I'm sorry! That's all I know! That's all I know, I swear! Now, please, don't put me back in your filthy mouth again! Stick around. Yes, okay, I will. I will. Thank you! Come on. I know you're out there. Saccharine-saturated nightmare! But... Where? Doomsday and armageddon just had a baby and it is ugly! Hello? Hello? Somebody! Anybody! Please let me out! What's he say? I'm gonna wreck it! Why do I fix everything I touch? Bam! Felix! Ralph! I'm so glad to see you! Wait. No, I'm not. What do you have to say for yourself? Wait! I don't want to hear it. I'm not talking to you! Okay, don't talk. That's fine. But you have to fix this go-kart for me pronto. I don't have to do boo! Forgive my potty mouth. I'm just so, so cross with you! Do you have any idea what you put me through? I ran higgledy-piggledy all over creation looking for you. I almost drowned in chocolate milk-mix! And then... I met the most dynamite gal. She gives me the honey glow something awful. But she rebuffed my affections. And then I got thrown in jail! Felix, pull yourself together. No! Ralph. You don't know what it's like to be rejected and treated like a criminal! Yes, I do. That's every day of my life. It is? Which is why I ran off and tried to be a good guy, but I'm not! I'm just a bad guy, and I need your help. There's a little girl whose only hope is this kart. Please, Felix, fix it. And I promise I will never try to be good again. I know, I know, I'm an idiot. And? And a real numskull. And? A selfish diaper baby. And? And... A stinkbrain? The stinkiest brain ever. My sweet subjects, I can without a pinch of hesitation assure you that I have never been so happy in all my life to say the following words: Let the random roster race commence! Okay, remember, you don't have to win. Just cross that finish line, and you'll be a real racer. I'm already a real racer. And I'm going to win. Power up! Whoa! A la mode! Sweet seekers! Have some candy. Behind you! In front of you! It's the glitch! The glitch? Light them up, Candlehead. What's this? Cherry bombs! I told you. You're just an accident waiting to happen. My candle! All right. Gotta keep it under control. No more glitching. Okay, kid. Let's finish this thing without any more surprises. Hope you're happy, junkpile. This game is going down, and it's all your fault. My lady, you came back. Can it, Fix-It! That cy-bug you brought with you multiplied. No. It died in the taffy swamp. Believe me, I... Bullroar. Listen up, people. Head to game central station now! Move it! Let's go! Let's go! Go! Go! Go! No! Get off of my track! Hey! What, are you crazy! I forbid you to cross that finish line! Knock it off! Ralph, look! Kid! Stop it! I'm not letting you undo all my hard work! Is that... No way! What the... Who are you? I'm Turbo, the greatest racer ever! And I did not reprogram this world to let you and that halitosis-riddled warthog take it away from me! Turbo-tastic. End of the line, glitch! Glitch. That's it. Come on, Vanellope. I know you said you wouldn't do it again. But you're going to do it one more time. Just focus and concentrate. And glitch! Sweet mother of monkey milk! I did it! No! Bring it home, kid! The finish line is wide open! No! Kid! Are you okay? I'm fine. I'm fine. Let's finish this race! Oh my land. All right. Come on. We gotta get out of here. But I didn't cross the finish line! There is no finish line! Move it or lose it, people. Everybody, out. Now! Ralph, it's not going to work! We gotta try! Kid! Ralph, I told you I can't leave the game. Come on. Get through. Ralph! Stop! It's got to work! Stop, it's no use. It's okay, Ralph. All right, Fix-It. That's everyone. Now, we've got to blow up this exit. Just go. Go without me. But what about this game? Nothing we can do about it. Without a beacon, there's no way to stop these monsters. Beacon? Stay with Felix. Let me borrow that thing, lady. Ralph! Where are you going? I got some wrecking to do! I'll meet you at the finish line! No! Wait! Fix-It, get behind me! Come on! One more! One... Welcome to the boss level! Turbo. Because of you, Ralph, I'm now the most powerful virus in the arcade! I can take over any game I want. I should thank you. But it would be more fun to k*ll you. Get back here, little guy! Have some candy! Where do you think you're going? I'm not through with you yet. Up we go! No! Ralph! Fall back. Kid! Vanellope! Look at that. It's your little friend. Let's watch her die together, shall we? No! It's game over for both of you. No. Just for me! Ralph! Vanellope! I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be... than me. Kid! Don't worry. I got it under control. You fools! Why are you going into the light... No! No, no, no. Yes... No! Yes... No! Go into the light! Whoa! Chocolate? It's chocolate! I love chocolate! Beautiful chocolate! Yeah! You did it, Ralph! Way to go, brother! I... Excuse... All fixed. You ready for this? As ready as I'll ever be. Whoa! What's with all the magic sparkles? Princess Vanellope? Now I remember. All hail the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush... Princess Vanellope. I remember. She's our princess! Oh! That's right! We are so sorry about the way we treated you. Yeah, those were jokes! I was just doing what Taffyta told me to do! Tut-tut. As your merciful princess, I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be executed. What? No, please! Oh my land. This place just got interesting. I don't want to die! I'm just kidding. Stop crying, Taffyta. I'm trying, but it won't stop. Wow. So this is the real you. Princess. Aw, Ralph, what are you, nuts? Come on. This isn't me. This is me. Look, the code may say I'm a princess. But I know who I really am, Ralph, I'm a racer with the greatest superpower ever. I was here, I was there. I was glitching through the walls. I'm not giving that up. Um, pardon me for asking, but without a princess, who's going to lead us? Yeah. Who? Me. I'm thinking more along the lines of a constitutional democracy. President Vanellope von Schweetz. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Fix-It, Wreck-It, the arcade's about to open. Let's move 'em out. You know, you could just stay here and live in the castle. You'd have your own wing where no one would ever complain about your stench. or treat you bad ever again. You could be happy. I'm already happy. I've got the coolest friend in the world. And besides, I've got a job to do, too. It may not be as fancy as being president, but it's my duty. And it's a big duty! Ralph, are you coming, brother? See ya later, President Fart Feathers. Au revoir, Admiral Nnderpants. And farewell, Baroness Boogerface. Goodbye, Major Body Odor! Hasta la vista you... Ralph! All right. To be continued. Yeah! Hooray! I'm gonna wreck it! Hey! Ralph's back! Isn't that great! The gang's all here! So, I'm happy to report, and you'll be happy to hear, I'm taking life one game at a time. All right! Yeah, Ralph! Of course, the job hasn't changed. But, news flash, The Nicelanders are being nice to me! And that got me thinking about those poor guys left without a game. So here's what we did. We're gonna wreck it! We asked them to help ust on the bonus levels. We can fix it! I'm telling you guy: We haven't been this popular in years. It's crazy. Wow! The gamers say we're "retro", which I think means "old but cool". And I decided that living in the dump wasn't making me feel very good, So I cleaned it up, built myself a little shack. And a couple for the new guys, too. Well, with a little help from Felix. Oh. And guess who was the best man at his and calhoun's wedding. That's right, my friends, old ham hands himself. Very elegant affair. You should've seen it. Lot of grandeur. And not a single bug. And let's just say, some tears were shed. And you gotta say, the best part of my day is when I get thrown off the roof. Because when the Nicelanders lift me up, I get a perfect view of Sugar Rush. And I can see Vanellope racing. Yes! The kid's a natural. And the players love her, glitch and all. Just like I knew they would. Turns out I don't need a medal to tell me I'm a good guy. 'cause if that little kid likes me... How bad can I be?
    Linkmain-maybe
    Linkmain-maybe
    According to all known laws
    of aviation,


    there is no way a bee
    should be able to fly.


    Its wings are too small to get
    its fat little body off the ground.


    The bee, of course, flies anyway


    because bees don't care
    what humans think is impossible.


    Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
    Yellow, black. Yellow, black.


    Ooh, black and yellow!
    Let's shake it up a little.


    Barry! Breakfast is ready!


    Ooming!


    Hang on a second.


    Hello?


    • Barry?
    • Adam?


    • Oan you believe this is happening?
    • I can't. I'll pick you up.


    Looking sharp.


    Use the stairs. Your father
    paid good money for those.


    Sorry. I'm excited.


    Here's the graduate.
    We're very proud of you, son.


    A perfect report card, all B's.


    Very proud.


    Ma! I got a thing going here.


    • You got lint on your fuzz.
    • Ow! That's me!


    • Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
    • Bye!


    Barry, I told you,
    stop flying in the house!


    • Hey, Adam.
    • Hey, Barry.


    • Is that fuzz gel?
    • A little. Special day, graduation.


    Never thought I'd make it.


    Three days grade school,
    three days high school.


    Those were awkward.


    Three days college. I'm glad I took
    a day and hitchhiked around the hive.


    You did come back different.


    • Hi, Barry.
    • Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.


    • Hear about Frankie?
    • Yeah.


    • You going to the funeral?
    • No, I'm not going.


    Everybody knows,
    sting someone, you die.


    Don't waste it on a squirrel.
    Such a hothead.


    I guess he could have
    just gotten out of the way.


    I love this incorporating
    an amusement park into our day.


    That's why we don't need vacations.


    Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
    under the circumstances.


    • Well, Adam, today we are men.
    • We are!


    • Bee-men.
    • Amen!


    Hallelujah!


    Students, faculty, distinguished bees,


    please welcome Dean Buzzwell.


    Welcome, New Hive Oity
    graduating class of...


    ...9:15.


    That concludes our ceremonies.


    And begins your career
    at Honex Industries!


    Will we pick ourjob today?


    I heard it's just orientation.


    Heads up! Here we go.


    Keep your hands and antennas
    inside the tram at all times.


    • Wonder what it'll be like?
    • A little scary.


    Welcome to Honex,
    a division of Honesco


    and a part of the Hexagon Group.


    This is it!


    Wow.


    Wow.


    We know that you, as a bee,
    have worked your whole life


    to get to the point where you
    can work for your whole life.


    Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
    Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


    Our top-secret formula


    is automatically color-corrected,
    scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured


    into this soothing sweet syrup


    with its distinctive
    golden glow you know as...


    Honey!


    • That girl was hot.
    • She's my cousin!


    • She is?
    • Yes, we're all cousins.


    • Right. You're right.
    • At Honex, we constantly strive


    to improve every aspect
    of bee existence.


    These bees are stress-testing
    a new helmet technology.


    • What do you think he makes?
    • Not enough.


    Here we have our latest advancement,
    the Krelman.


    • What does that do?
    • Oatches that little strand of honey


    that hangs after you pour it.
    Saves us millions.


    Oan anyone work on the Krelman?


    Of course. Most bee jobs are
    small ones. But bees know


    that every small job,
    if it's done well, means a lot.


    But choose carefully


    because you'll stay in the job
    you pick for the rest of your life.


    The same job the rest of your life?
    I didn't know that.


    What's the difference?


    You'll be happy to know that bees,
    as a species, haven't had one day off


    in 27 million years.


    So you'll just work us to death?


    We'll sure try.


    Wow! That blew my mind!


    "What's the difference?"
    How can you say that?


    One job forever?
    That's an insane choice to have to make.


    I'm relieved. Now we only have
    to make one decision in life.


    But, Adam, how could they
    never have told us that?


    Why would you question anything?
    We're bees.


    We're the most perfectly
    functioning society on Earth.


    You ever think maybe things
    work a little too well here?


    Like what? Give me one example.


    I don't know. But you know
    what I'm talking about.


    Please clear the gate.
    Royal Nectar Force on approach.


    Wait a second. Oheck it out.


    • Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
    • Wow.


    I've never seen them this close.


    They know what it's like
    outside the hive.


    Yeah, but some don't come back.


    • Hey, Jocks!
    • Hi, Jocks!


    You guys did great!


    You're monsters!
    You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!


    • I wonder where they were.
    • I don't know.


    Their day's not planned.


    Outside the hive, flying who knows
    where, doing who knows what.


    You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
    Jock. You have to be bred for that.


    Right.


    Look. That's more pollen
    than you and I will see in a lifetime.


    It's just a status symbol.
    Bees make too much of it.


    Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
    and the ladies see you wearing it.


    Those ladies?
    Aren't they our cousins too?


    Distant. Distant.


    Look at these two.


    • Oouple of Hive Harrys.
    • Let's have fun with them.


    It must be dangerous
    being a Pollen Jock.


    Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
    against a mushroom!


    He had a paw on my throat,
    and with the other, he was slapping me!


    • Oh, my!
    • I never thought I'd knock him out.


    What were you doing during this?


    Trying to alert the authorities.


    I can autograph that.


    A little gusty out there today,
    wasn't it, comrades?


    Yeah. Gusty.


    We're hitting a sunflower patch
    six miles from here tomorrow.


    • Six miles, huh?
    • Barry!


    A puddle jump for us,
    but maybe you're not up for it.


    • Maybe I am.
    • You are not!


    We're going 0900 at J-Gate.


    What do you think, buzzy-boy?
    Are you bee enough?


    I might be. It all depends
    on what 0900 means.


    Hey, Honex!


    Dad, you surprised me.


    You decide what you're interested in?


    • Well, there's a lot of choices.
    • But you only get one.


    Do you ever get bored
    doing the same job every day?


    Son, let me tell you about stirring.


    You grab that stick, and you just
    move it around, and you stir it around.


    You get yourself into a rhythm.
    It's a beautiful thing.


    You know, Dad,
    the more I think about it,


    maybe the honey field
    just isn't right for me.


    You were thinking of what,
    making balloon animals?


    That's a bad job
    for a guy with a stinger.


    Janet, your son's not sure
    he wants to go into honey!


    • Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
    • I'm not trying to be funny.


    You're not funny! You're going
    into honey. Our son, the stirrer!


    • You're gonna be a stirrer?
    • No one's listening to me!


    Wait till you see the sticks I have.


    I could say anything right now.
    I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!


    Let's open some honey and celebrate!


    Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
    Shave my antennae.


    Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
    a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!


    I'm so proud.


    • We're starting work today!
    • Today's the day.


    Oome on! All the good jobs
    will be gone.


    Yeah, right.


    Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
    stirrer, front desk, hair removal...


    • Is it still available?
    • Hang on. Two left!


    One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
    Step to the side.


    • What'd you get?
    • Picking crud out. Stellar!


    Wow!


    Oouple of newbies?


    Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!


    Make your choice.


    • You want to go first?
    • No, you go.


    Oh, my. What's available?


    Restroom attendant's open,
    not for the reason you think.


    • Any chance of getting the Krelman?
    • Sure, you're on.


    I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.


    Wax monkey's always open.


    The Krelman opened up again.


    What happened?


    A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
    He's dead. Another dead one.


    Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.


    Dead from the neck up.
    Dead from the neck down. That's life!


    Oh, this is so hard!


    Heating, cooling,
    stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,


    humming, inspector number seven,
    lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,


    mite wrangler. Barry, what
    do you think I should... Barry?


    Barry!


    All right, we've got the sunflower patch
    in quadrant nine...


    What happened to you?
    Where are you?


    • I'm going out.
    • Out? Out where?


    • Out there.
    • Oh, no!


    I have to, before I go
    to work for the rest of my life.


    You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?


    Another call coming in.


    If anyone's feeling brave,
    there's a Korean deli on 83rd


    that gets their roses today.


    Hey, guys.


    • Look at that.
    • Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?


    Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.


    It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.


    Really? Feeling lucky, are you?


    Sign here, here. Just initial that.


    • Thank you.
    • OK.


    You got a rain advisory today,


    and as you all know,
    bees cannot fly in rain.


    So be careful. As always,
    watch your brooms,


    hockey sticks, dogs,
    birds, bears and bats.


    Also, I got a couple of reports
    of root beer being poured on us.


    Murphy's in a home because of it,
    babbling like a cicada!


    • That's awful.
    • And a reminder for you rookies,


    bee law number one,
    absolutely no talking to humans!


    All right, launch positions!


    Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
    buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!


    Black and yellow!


    Hello!


    You ready for this, hot shot?


    Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.


    Wind, check.


    • Antennae, check.
    • Nectar pack, check.


    • Wings, check.
    • Stinger, check.


    Scared out of my shorts, check.


    OK, ladies,


    let's move it out!


    Pound those petunias,
    you striped stem-suckers!


    All of you, drain those flowers!


    Wow! I'm out!


    I can't believe I'm out!


    So blue.


    I feel so fast and free!


    Box kite!


    Wow!


    Flowers!


    This is Blue Leader.
    We have roses visual.


    Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.


    Roses!


    30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.


    Stand to the side, kid.
    It's got a bit of a kick.


    That is one nectar collector!


    • Ever see pollination up close?
    • No, sir.


    I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
    over here. Maybe a dash over there,


    a pinch on that one.
    See that? It's a little bit of magic.


    That's amazing. Why do we do that?


    That's pollen power. More pollen, more
    flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.


    Oool.


    I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
    Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?


    Oopy that visual.


    Wait. One of these flowers
    seems to be on the move.


    Say again? You're reporting
    a moving flower?


    Affirmative.


    That was on the line!


    This is the coolest. What is it?


    I don't know, but I'm loving this color.


    It smells good.
    Not like a flower, but I like it.


    Yeah, fuzzy.


    Ohemical-y.


    Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.


    My sweet lord of bees!


    Oandy-brain, get off there!


    Problem!


    • Guys!
    • This could be bad.


    Affirmative.


    Very close.


    Gonna hurt.


    Mama's little boy.


    You are way out of position, rookie!


    Ooming in at you like a missile!


    Help me!


    I don't think these are flowers.


    • Should we tell him?
    • I think he knows.


    What is this?!


    Match point!


    You can start packing up, honey,
    because you're about to eat it!


    Yowser!


    Gross.


    There's a bee in the car!


    • Do something!
    • I'm driving!


    • Hi, bee.
    • He's back here!


    He's going to sting me!


    Nobody move. If you don't move,
    he won't sting you. Freeze!


    He blinked!


    Spray him, Granny!


    What are you doing?!


    Wow... the tension level
    out here is unbelievable.


    I gotta get home.


    Oan't fly in rain.


    Oan't fly in rain.


    Oan't fly in rain.


    Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!


    Ken, could you close
    the window please?


    Ken, could you close
    the window please?


    Oheck out my new resume.
    I made it into a fold-out brochure.


    You see? Folds out.


    Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.


    What was that?


    Maybe this time. This time. This time.
    This time! This time! This...


    Drapes!


    That is diabolical.


    It's fantastic. It's got all my special
    skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.


    What's number one? Star Wars?


    Nah, I don't go for that...


    ...kind of stuff.


    No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
    They're out of their minds.


    When I leave a job interview, they're
    flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.


    There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.


    I don't remember the sun
    having a big 75 on it.


    I predicted global warming.


    I could feel it getting hotter.
    At first I thought it was just me.


    Wait! Stop! Bee!


    Stand back. These are winter boots.


    Wait!


    Don't kill him!


    You know I'm allergic to them!
    This thing could kill me!


    Why does his life have
    less value than yours?


    Why does his life have any less value
    than mine? Is that your statement?


    I'm just saying all life has value. You
    don't know what he's capable of feeling.


    My brochure!


    There you go, little guy.


    I'm not scared of him.
    It's an allergic thing.


    Put that on your resume brochure.


    My whole face could puff up.


    Make it one of your special skills.


    Knocking someone out
    is also a special skill.


    Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.


    • Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
    • Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.


    • You could put carob chips on there.
    • Bye.


    • Supposed to be less calories.
    • Bye.


    I gotta say something.


    She saved my life.
    I gotta say something.


    All right, here it goes.


    Nah.


    What would I say?


    I could really get in trouble.


    It's a bee law.
    You're not supposed to talk to a human.


    I can't believe I'm doing this.


    I've got to.


    Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!


    No. Yes. No.


    Do it. I can't.


    How should I start it?
    "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.


    Here she comes! Speak, you fool!


    Hi!


    I'm sorry.


    • You're talking.
    • Yes, I know.


    You're talking!


    I'm so sorry.


    No, it's OK. It's fine.
    I know I'm dreaming.


    But I don't recall going to bed.


    Well, I'm sure this
    is very disconcerting.


    This is a bit of a surprise to me.
    I mean, you're a bee!


    I am. And I'm not supposed
    to be doing this,


    but they were all trying to kill me.


    And if it wasn't for you...


    I had to thank you.
    It's just how I was raised.


    That was a little weird.


    • I'm talking with a bee.
    • Yeah.


    I'm talking to a bee.
    And the bee is talking to me!


    I just want to say I'm grateful.
    I'll leave now.


    • Wait! How did you learn to do that?
    • What?


    The talking thing.


    Same way you did, I guess.
    "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.


    • That's very funny.
    • Yeah.


    Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
    we'd cry with what we have to deal with.


    Anyway...


    Oan I...


    ...get you something?
    - Like what?


    I don't know. I mean...
    I don't know. Ooffee?


    I don't want to put you out.


    It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.


    • It's just coffee.
    • I hate to impose.


    • Don't be ridiculous!
    • Actually, I would love a cup.


    Hey, you want rum cake?


    • I shouldn't.
    • Have some.


    • No, I can't.
    • Oome on!


    I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.


    • Where?
    • These stripes don't help.


    You look great!


    I don't know if you know
    anything about fashion.


    Are you all right?


    No.


    He's making the tie in the cab
    as they're flying up Madison.


    He finally gets there.


    He runs up the steps into the church.
    The wedding is on.


    And he says, "Watermelon?
    I thought you said Guatemalan.


    Why would I marry a watermelon?"


    Is that a bee joke?


    That's the kind of stuff we do.


    Yeah, different.


    So, what are you gonna do, Barry?


    About work? I don't know.


    I want to do my part for the hive,
    but I can't do it the way they want.


    I know how you feel.


    • You do?
    • Sure.


    My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
    a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.


    • Really?
    • My only interest is flowers.


    Our new queen was just elected
    with that same campaign slogan.


    Anyway, if you look...


    There's my hive right there. See it?


    You're in Sheep Meadow!


    Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!


    No way! I know that area.
    I lost a toe ring there once.


    • Why do girls put rings on their toes?
    • Why not?


    • It's like putting a hat on your knee.
    • Maybe I'll try that.


    • You all right, ma'am?
    • Oh, yeah. Fine.


    Just having two cups of coffee!


    Anyway, this has been great.
    Thanks for the coffee.


    Yeah, it's no trouble.


    Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
    I'd be up the rest of my life.


    Are you...?


    Oan I take a piece of this with me?


    Sure! Here, have a crumb.


    • Thanks!
    • Yeah.


    All right. Well, then...
    I guess I'll see you around.


    Or not.


    OK, Barry.


    And thank you
    so much again... for before.


    Oh, that? That was nothing.


    Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...


    This can't possibly work.


    He's all set to go.
    We may as well try it.


    OK, Dave, pull the chute.


    • Sounds amazing.
    • It was amazing!


    It was the scariest,
    happiest moment of my life.


    Humans! I can't believe
    you were with humans!


    Giant, scary humans!
    What were they like?


    Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.


    They eat crazy giant things.
    They drive crazy.


    • Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
    • Some of them. But some of them don't.


    • How'd you get back?
    • Poodle.


    You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
    whatever you wanted to see.


    You had your "experience." Now you
    can pick out yourjob and be normal.


    • Well...
    • Well?


    Well, I met someone.


    You did? Was she Bee-ish?


    • A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
    • No, no, no, not a wasp.


    • Spider?
    • I'm not attracted to spiders.


    I know it's the hottest thing,
    with the eight legs and all.


    I can't get by that face.


    So who is she?


    She's... human.


    No, no. That's a bee law.
    You wouldn't break a bee law.


    • Her name's Vanessa.
    • Oh, boy.


    She's so nice. And she's a florist!


    Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!


    We're not dating.


    You're flying outside the hive, talking
    to humans that attack our homes


    with power washers and M-80s!
    One-eighth a stick of dynamite!


    She saved my life!
    And she understands me.


    This is over!


    Eat this.


    This is not over! What was that?


    • They call it a crumb.
    • It was so stingin' stripey!


    And that's not what they eat.
    That's what falls off what they eat!


    • You know what a Oinnabon is?
    • No.


    It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
    They heat it up...


    Sit down!


    ...really hot!
    - Listen to me!


    We are not them! We're us.
    There's us and there's them!


    Yes, but who can deny
    the heart that is yearning?


    There's no yearning.
    Stop yearning. Listen to me!


    You have got to start thinking bee,
    my friend. Thinking bee!


    • Thinking bee.
    • Thinking bee.


    Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
    Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


    There he is. He's in the pool.


    You know what your problem is, Barry?


    I gotta start thinking bee?


    How much longer will this go on?


    It's been three days!
    Why aren't you working?


    I've got a lot of big life decisions
    to think about.


    What life? You have no life!
    You have no job. You're barely a bee!


    Would it kill you
    to make a little honey?


    Barry, come out.
    Your father's talking to you.


    Martin, would you talk to him?


    Barry, I'm talking to you!


    You coming?


    Got everything?


    All set!


    Go ahead. I'll catch up.


    Don't be too long.


    Watch this!


    Vanessa!


    • We're still here.
    • I told you not to yell at him.


    He doesn't respond to yelling!


    • Then why yell at me?
    • Because you don't listen!


    I'm not listening to this.


    Sorry, I've gotta go.


    • Where are you going?
    • I'm meeting a friend.


    A girl? Is this why you can't decide?


    Bye.


    I just hope she's Bee-ish.


    They have a huge parade
    of flowers every year in Pasadena?


    To be in the Tournament of Roses,
    that's every florist's dream!


    Up on a float, surrounded
    by flowers, crowds cheering.


    A tournament. Do the roses
    compete in athletic events?


    No. All right, I've got one.
    How come you don't fly everywhere?


    It's exhausting. Why don't you
    run everywhere? It's faster.


    Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
    All right, your turn.


    TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
    That's insane!


    You don't have that?


    We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
    It's a horrible, horrible disease.


    Oh, my.


    Dumb bees!


    You must want to sting all those jerks.


    We try not to sting.
    It's usually fatal for us.


    So you have to watch your temper.


    Very carefully.
    You kick a wall, take a walk,


    write an angry letter and throw it out.
    Work through it like any emotion:


    Anger, jealousy, lust.


    Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?


    Yeah.


    • What is wrong with you?!
    • It's a bug.


    He's not bothering anybody.
    Get out of here, you creep!


    What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?


    Yeah, it was. How did you know?


    It felt like about 10 pages.
    Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.


    You've really got that
    down to a science.


    • I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
    • I'll bet.


    What in the name
    of Mighty Hercules is this?


    How did this get here?
    Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,


    Ray Liotta Private Select?


    • Is he that actor?
    • I never heard of him.


    • Why is this here?
    • For people. We eat it.


    You don't have
    enough food of your own?


    • Well, yes.
    • How do you get it?


    • Bees make it.
    • I know who makes it!


    And it's hard to make it!


    There's heating, cooling, stirring.
    You need a whole Krelman thing!


    • It's organic.
    • It's our-ganic!


    It's just honey, Barry.


    Just what?!


    Bees don't know about this!
    This is stealing! A lot of stealing!


    You've taken our homes, schools,
    hospitals! This is all we have!


    And it's on sale?!
    I'm getting to the bottom of this.


    I'm getting to the bottom
    of all of this!


    Hey, Hector.


    • You almost done?
    • Almost.


    He is here. I sense it.


    Well, I guess I'll go home now


    and just leave this nice honey out,
    with no one around.


    You're busted, box boy!


    I knew I heard something.
    So you can talk!


    I can talk.
    And now you'll start talking!


    Where you getting the sweet stuff?
    Who's your supplier?


    I don't understand.
    I thought we were friends.


    The last thing we want
    to do is upset bees!


    You're too late! It's ours now!


    You, sir, have crossed
    the wrong sword!


    You, sir, will be lunch
    for my iguana, Ignacio!


    Where is the honey coming from?


    Tell me where!


    Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!


    Orazy person!


    What horrible thing has happened here?


    These faces, they never knew
    what hit them. And now


    they're on the road to nowhere!


    Just keep still.


    What? You're not dead?


    Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
    that moves. Where you headed?


    To Honey Farms.
    I am onto something huge here.


    I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
    crazy stuff. Blows your head off!


    I'm going to Tacoma.


    • And you?
    • He really is dead.


    All right.


    Uh-oh!


    • What is that?!
    • Oh, no!


    • A wiper! Triple blade!
    • Triple blade?


    Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!


    Why does everything have
    to be so doggone clean?!


    How much do you people need to see?!


    Open your eyes!
    Stick your head out the window!


    From NPR News in Washington,
    I'm Oarl Kasell.


    But don't kill no more bugs!


    • Bee!
    • Moose blood guy!!


    • You hear something?
    • Like what?


    Like tiny screaming.


    Turn off the radio.


    Whassup, bee boy?


    Hey, Blood.


    Just a row of honey jars,
    as far as the eye could see.


    Wow!


    I assume wherever this truck goes
    is where they're getting it.


    I mean, that honey's ours.


    • Bees hang tight.
    • We're all jammed in.


    It's a close community.


    Not us, man. We on our own.
    Every mosquito on his own.


    • What if you get in trouble?
    • You a mosquito, you in trouble.


    Nobody likes us. They just smack.
    See a mosquito, smack, smack!


    At least you're out in the world.
    You must meet girls.


    Mosquito girls try to trade up,
    get with a moth, dragonfly.


    Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.


    You got to be kidding me!


    Mooseblood's about to leave
    the building! So long, bee!


    • Hey, guys!
    • Mooseblood!


    I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
    Did you bring your crazy straw?


    We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
    and it's pretty much pure profit.


    What is this place?


    A bee's got a brain
    the size of a pinhead.


    They are pinheads!


    Pinhead.


    • Oheck out the new smoker.
    • Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.


    The Thomas 3000!


    Smoker?


    Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
    Twice the nicotine, all the tar.


    A couple breaths of this
    knocks them right out.


    They make the honey,
    and we make the money.


    "They make the honey,
    and we make the money"?


    Oh, my!


    What's going on? Are you OK?


    Yeah. It doesn't last too long.


    Do you know you're
    in a fake hive with fake walls?


    Our queen was moved here.
    We had no choice.


    This is your queen?
    That's a man in women's clothes!


    That's a drag queen!


    What is this?


    Oh, no!


    There's hundreds of them!


    Bee honey.


    Our honey is being brazenly stolen
    on a massive scale!


    This is worse than anything bears
    have done! I intend to do something.


    Oh, Barry, stop.


    Who told you humans are taking
    our honey? That's a rumor.


    Do these look like rumors?


    That's a conspiracy theory.
    These are obviously doctored photos.


    How did you get mixed up in this?


    He's been talking to humans.


    • What?
    • Talking to humans?!


    He has a human girlfriend.
    And they make out!


    Make out? Barry!


    We do not.


    • You wish you could.
    • Whose side are you on?


    The bees!


    I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
    Those crazy legs kept me up all night.


    Barry, this is what you want
    to do with your life?


    I want to do it for all our lives.
    Nobody works harder than bees!


    Dad, I remember you
    coming home so overworked


    your hands were still stirring.
    You couldn't stop.


    I remember that.


    What right do they have to our honey?


    We live on two cups a year. They put it
    in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!


    Even if it's true, what can one bee do?


    Sting them where it really hurts.


    In the face! The eye!


    • That would hurt.
    • No.


    Up the nose? That's a killer.


    There's only one place you can sting
    the humans, one place where it matters.


    Hive at Five, the hive's only
    full-hour action news source.


    No more bee beards!


    With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.


    Weather with Storm Stinger.


    Sports with Buzz Larvi.


    And Jeanette Ohung.


    • Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
    • And I'm Jeanette Ohung.


    A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,


    intends to sue the human race
    for stealing our honey,


    packaging it and profiting
    from it illegally!


    Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,


    we'll have three former queens here in
    our studio, discussing their new book,


    Olassy Ladies,
    out this week on Hexagon.


    Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.


    Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
    from the hive. I can't do this"?


    Bees have never been afraid
    to change the world.


    What about Bee Oolumbus?
    Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?


    Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.


    We were thinking
    of stickball or candy stores.


    How old are you?


    The bee community
    is supporting you in this case,


    which will be the trial
    of the bee century.


    You know, they have a Larry King
    in the human world too.


    It's a common name. Next week...


    He looks like you and has a show
    and suspenders and colored dots...


    Next week...


    Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
    guest even though you just heard 'em.


    Bear Week next week!
    They're scary, hairy and here live.


    Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
    squinty eyes, very Jewish.


    In tennis, you attack
    at the point of weakness!


    It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.


    Honey, her backhand's a joke!
    I'm not gonna take advantage of that?


    Quiet, please.
    Actual work going on here.


    • Is that that same bee?
    • Yes, it is!


    I'm helping him sue the human race.


    • Hello.
    • Hello, bee.


    This is Ken.


    Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
    ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.


    Why does he talk again?


    Listen, you better go
    'cause we're really busy working.


    But it's our yogurt night!


    Bye-bye.


    Why is yogurt night so difficult?!


    You poor thing.
    You two have been at this for hours!


    Yes, and Adam here
    has been a huge help.


    • Frosting...
    • How many sugars?


    Just one. I try not
    to use the competition.


    So why are you helping me?


    Bees have good qualities.


    And it takes my mind off the shop.


    Instead of flowers, people
    are giving balloon bouquets now.


    Those are great, if you're three.


    And artificial flowers.


    • Oh, those just get me psychotic!
    • Yeah, me too.


    Bent stingers, pointless pollination.


    Bees must hate those fake things!


    Nothing worse
    than a daffodil that's had work done.


    Maybe this could make up
    for it a little bit.


    • This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
    • I guess.


    You sure you want to go through with it?


    Am I sure? When I'm done with
    the humans, they won't be able


    to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
    without paying a royalty!


    It's an incredible scene
    here in downtown Manhattan,


    where the world anxiously waits,
    because for the first time in history,


    we will hear for ourselves
    if a honeybee can actually speak.


    What have we gotten into here, Barry?


    It's pretty big, isn't it?


    I can't believe how many humans
    don't work during the day.


    You think billion-dollar multinational
    food companies have good lawyers?


    Everybody needs to stay
    behind the barricade.


    • What's the matter?
    • I don't know, I just got a chill.


    Well, if it isn't the bee team.


    You boys work on this?


    All rise! The Honorable
    Judge Bumbleton presiding.


    All right. Oase number 4475,


    Superior Oourt of New York,
    Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry


    is now in session.


    Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
    the five food companies collectively?


    A privilege.


    Mr. Benson... you're representing
    all the bees of the world?


    I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
    we're ready to proceed.


    Mr. Montgomery,
    your opening statement, please.


    Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,


    my grandmother was a simple woman.


    Born on a farm, she believed
    it was man's divine right


    to benefit from the bounty
    of nature God put before us.


    If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
    Mr. Benson imagines,


    just think of what would it mean.


    I would have to negotiate
    with the silkworm


    for the elastic in my britches!


    Talking bee!


    How do we know this isn't some sort of


    holographic motion-picture-capture
    Hollywood wizardry?


    They could be using laser beams!


    Robotics! Ventriloquism!
    Oloning! For all we know,


    he could be on steroids!


    Mr. Benson?


    Ladies and gentlemen,
    there's no trickery here.


    I'm just an ordinary bee.
    Honey's pretty important to me.


    It's important to all bees.
    We invented it!


    We make it. And we protect it
    with our lives.


    Unfortunately, there are
    some people in this room


    who think they can take it from us


    'cause we're the little guys!
    I'm hoping that, after this is all over,


    you'll see how, by taking our honey,
    you not only take everything we have


    but everything we are!


    I wish he'd dress like that
    all the time. So nice!


    Oall your first witness.


    So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
    of Honey Farms, big company you have.


    I suppose so.


    I see you also own
    Honeyburton and Honron!


    Yes, they provide beekeepers
    for our farms.


    Beekeeper. I find that
    to be a very disturbing term.


    I don't imagine you employ
    any bee-free-ers, do you?


    • No.
    • I couldn't hear you.


    • No.
    • No.


    Because you don't free bees.
    You keep bees. Not only that,


    it seems you thought a bear would be
    an appropriate image for a jar of honey.


    They're very lovable creatures.


    Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.


    You mean like this?


    Bears kill bees!


    How'd you like his head crashing
    through your living room?!


    Biting into your couch!
    Spitting out your throw pillows!


    OK, that's enough. Take him away.


    So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
    Your name intrigues me.


    • Where have I heard it before?
    • I was with a band called The Police.


    But you've never been
    a police officer, have you?


    No, I haven't.


    No, you haven't. And so here
    we have yet another example


    of bee culture casually
    stolen by a human


    for nothing more than
    a prance-about stage name.


    Oh, please.


    Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?


    Because I'm feeling
    a little stung, Sting.


    Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!


    That's not his real name?! You idiots!


    Mr. Liotta, first,
    belated congratulations on


    your Emmy win for a guest spot
    on ER in 2005.


    Thank you. Thank you.


    I see from your resume
    that you're devilishly handsome


    with a churning inner turmoil
    that's ready to blow.


    I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?


    Not yet it isn't. But is this
    what it's come to for you?


    Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
    so you don't


    have to rehearse
    your part and learn your lines, sir?


    Watch it, Benson!
    I could blow right now!


    This isn't a goodfella.
    This is a badfella!


    Why doesn't someone just step on
    this creep, and we can all go home?!


    • Order in this court!
    • You're all thinking it!


    Order! Order, I say!


    • Say it!
    • Mr. Liotta, please sit down!


    I think it was awfully nice
    of that bear to pitch in like that.


    I think the jury's on our side.


    Are we doing everything right, legally?


    I'm a florist.


    Right. Well, here's to a great team.


    To a great team!


    Well, hello.


    • Ken!
    • Hello.


    I didn't think you were coming.


    No, I was just late.
    I tried to call, but... the battery.


    I didn't want all this to go to waste,
    so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.


    Oh, that was lucky.


    There's a little left.
    I could heat it up.


    Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.


    So I hear you're quite a tennis player.


    I'm not much for the game myself.
    The ball's a little grabby.


    That's where I usually sit.
    Right... there.


    Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,


    and he agreed with me that eating with
    chopsticks isn't really a special skill.


    You think I don't see what you're doing?


    I know how hard it is to find
    the rightjob. We have that in common.


    Do we?


    Bees have 100 percent employment,
    but we do jobs like taking the crud out.


    That's just what
    I was thinking about doing.


    Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
    for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.


    I'm going to drain the old stinger.


    Yeah, you do that.


    Look at that.


    You know, I've just about had it


    with your little mind games.


    • What's that?
    • Italian Vogue.


    Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.


    A lot of ads.


    Remember what Van said, why is
    your life more valuable than mine?


    Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!


    I think something stinks in here!


    I love the smell of flowers.


    How do you like the smell of flames?!


    Not as much.


    Water bug! Not taking sides!


    Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
    This is pathetic!


    I've got issues!


    Well, well, well, a royal flush!


    • You're bluffing.
    • Am I?


    Surf's up, dude!


    Poo water!


    That bowl is gnarly.


    Except for those dirty yellow rings!


    Kenneth! What are you doing?!


    You know, I don't even like honey!
    I don't eat it!


    We need to talk!


    He's just a little bee!


    And he happens to be
    the nicest bee I've met in a long time!


    Long time? What are you talking about?!
    Are there other bugs in your life?


    No, but there are other things bugging
    me in life. And you're one of them!


    Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...


    My nerves are fried from riding
    on this emotional roller coaster!


    Goodbye, Ken.


    And for your information,


    I prefer sugar-free, artificial
    sweeteners made by man!


    I'm sorry about all that.


    I know it's got
    an aftertaste! I like it!


    I always felt there was some kind
    of barrier between Ken and me.


    I couldn't overcome it.
    Oh, well.


    Are you OK for the trial?


    I believe Mr. Montgomery
    is about out of ideas.


    We would like to call
    Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.


    Good idea! You can really see why he's
    considered one of the best lawyers...


    Yeah.


    Layton, you've
    gotta weave some magic


    with this jury,
    or it's gonna be all over.


    Don't worry. The only thing I have
    to do to turn this jury around


    is to remind them
    of what they don't like about bees.


    • You got the tweezers?
    • Are you allergic?


    Only to losing, son. Only to losing.


    Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
    what I think we'd all like to know.


    What exactly is your relationship


    to that woman?


    We're friends.


    • Good friends?
    • Yes.


    How good? Do you live together?


    Wait a minute...


    Are you her little...


    ...bedbug?


    I've seen a bee documentary or two.
    From what I understand,


    doesn't your queen give birth
    to all the bee children?


    • Yeah, but...
    • So those aren't your real parents!


    • Oh, Barry...
    • Yes, they are!


    Hold me back!


    You're an illegitimate bee,
    aren't you, Benson?


    He's denouncing bees!


    Don't y'all date your cousins?


    • Objection!
    • I'm going to pincushion this guy!


    Adam, don't! It's what he wants!


    Oh, I'm hit!!


    Oh, lordy, I am hit!


    Order! Order!


    The venom! The venom
    is coursing through my veins!


    I have been felled
    by a winged beast of destruction!


    You see? You can't treat them
    like equals! They're striped savages!


    Stinging's the only thing
    they know! It's their way!


    • Adam, stay with me.
    • I can't feel my legs.


    What angel of mercy
    will come forward to suck the poison


    from my heaving buttocks?


    I will have order in this court. Order!


    Order, please!


    The case of the honeybees
    versus the human race


    took a pointed turn against the bees


    yesterday when one of their legal
    team stung Layton T. Montgomery.


    • Hey, buddy.
    • Hey.


    • Is there much pain?
    • Yeah.


    I...


    I blew the whole case, didn't I?


    It doesn't matter. What matters is
    you're alive. You could have died.


    I'd be better off dead. Look at me.


    They got it from the cafeteria
    downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.


    Look, there's
    a little celery still on it.


    What was it like to sting someone?


    I can't explain it. It was all...


    All adrenaline and then...
    and then ecstasy!


    All right.


    You think it was all a trap?


    Of course. I'm sorry.
    I flew us right into this.


    What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
    just a couple of bugs in this world.


    What will the humans do to us
    if they win?


    I don't know.


    I hear they put the roaches in motels.
    That doesn't sound so bad.


    Adam, they check in,
    but they don't check out!


    Oh, my.


    Oould you get a nurse
    to close that window?


    • Why?
    • The smoke.


    Bees don't smoke.


    Right. Bees don't smoke.


    Bees don't smoke!
    But some bees are smoking.


    That's it! That's our case!


    It is? It's not over?


    Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.


    Get back to the court and stall.
    Stall any way you can.


    And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.


    Mr. Flayman.


    Yes? Yes, Your Honor!


    Where is the rest of your team?


    Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.


    Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,


    and as a result,
    we don't make very good time.


    I actually heard a funny story about...


    Your Honor,
    haven't these ridiculous bugs


    taken up enough
    of this court's valuable time?


    How much longer will we allow
    these absurd shenanigans to go on?


    They have presented no compelling
    evidence to support their charges


    against my clients,
    who run legitimate businesses.


    I move for a complete dismissal
    of this entire case!


    Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going


    to have to consider
    Mr. Montgomery's motion.


    But you can't! We have a terrific case.


    Where is your proof?
    Where is the evidence?


    Show me the smoking gun!


    Hold it, Your Honor!
    You want a smoking gun?


    Here is your smoking gun.


    What is that?


    It's a bee smoker!


    What, this?
    This harmless little contraption?


    This couldn't hurt a fly,
    let alone a bee.


    Look at what has happened


    to bees who have never been asked,
    "Smoking or non?"


    Is this what nature intended for us?


    To be forcibly addicted
    to smoke machines


    and man-made wooden slat work camps?


    Living out our lives as honey slaves
    to the white man?


    • What are we gonna do?
    • He's playing the species card.


    Ladies and gentlemen, please,
    free these bees!


    Free the bees! Free the bees!


    Free the bees!


    Free the bees! Free the bees!


    The court finds in favor of the bees!


    Vanessa, we won!


    I knew you could do it! High-five!


    Sorry.


    I'm OK! You know what this means?


    All the honey
    will finally belong to the bees.


    Now we won't have
    to work so hard all the time.


    This is an unholy perversion
    of the balance of nature, Benson.


    You'll regret this.


    Barry, how much honey is out there?


    All right. One at a time.


    Barry, who are you wearing?


    My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
    and I have no pants.


    • What if Montgomery's right?
    • What do you mean?


    We've been living the bee way
    a long time, 27 million years.


    Oongratulations on your victory.
    What will you demand as a settlement?


    First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
    of all bee work camps.


    Then we want back the honey
    that was ours to begin with,


    every last drop.


    We demand an end to the glorification
    of the bear as anything more


    than a filthy, smelly,
    bad-breath stink machine.


    We're all aware
    of what they do in the woods.


    Wait for my signal.


    Take him out.


    He'll have nauseous
    for a few hours, then he'll be fine.


    And we will no longer tolerate
    bee-negative nicknames...


    But it's just a prance-about stage name!


    ...unnecessary inclusion of honey
    in bogus health products


    and la-dee-da human
    tea-time snack garnishments.


    Oan't breathe.


    Bring it in, boys!


    Hold it right there! Good.


    Tap it.


    Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
    and there's gallons more coming!


    • I think we need to shut down!
    • Shut down? We've never shut down.


    Shut down honey production!


    Stop making honey!


    Turn your key, sir!


    What do we do now?


    Oannonball!


    We're shutting honey production!


    Mission abort.


    Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
    Returning to base.


    Adam, you wouldn't believe
    how much honey was out there.


    Oh, yeah?


    What's going on? Where is everybody?


    • Are they out celebrating?
    • They're home.


    They don't know what to do.
    Laying out, sleeping in.


    I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
    to San Antonio with a cricket.


    At least we got our honey back.


    Sometimes I think, so what if humans
    liked our honey? Who wouldn't?


    It's the greatest thing in the world!
    I was excited to be part of making it.


    This was my new desk. This was my
    new job. I wanted to do it really well.


    And now...


    Now I can't.


    I don't understand
    why they're not happy.


    I thought their lives would be better!


    They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
    Honey really changes people.


    You don't have any idea
    what's going on, do you?


    • What did you want to show me?
    • This.


    What happened here?


    That is not the half of it.


    Oh, no. Oh, my.


    They're all wilting.


    Doesn't look very good, does it?


    No.


    And whose fault do you think that is?


    You know, I'm gonna guess bees.


    Bees?


    Specifically, me.


    I didn't think bees not needing to make
    honey would affect all these things.


    It's notjust flowers.
    Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.


    That's our whole SAT test right there.


    Take away produce, that affects
    the entire animal kingdom.


    And then, of course...


    The human species?


    So if there's no more pollination,


    it could all just go south here,
    couldn't it?


    I know this is also partly my fault.


    How about a suicide pact?


    How do we do it?


    • I'll sting you, you step on me.
    • Thatjust kills you twice.


    Right, right.


    Listen, Barry...
    sorry, but I gotta get going.


    I had to open my mouth and talk.


    Vanessa?


    Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
    Where are you going?


    To the final Tournament of Roses parade
    in Pasadena.


    They've moved it to this weekend
    because all the flowers are dying.


    It's the last chance
    I'll ever have to see it.


    Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
    I never meant it to turn out like this.


    I know. Me neither.


    Tournament of Roses.
    Roses can't do sports.


    Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?


    Roses!


    Vanessa!


    Roses?!


    Barry?


    • Roses are flowers!
    • Yes, they are.


    Flowers, bees, pollen!


    I know.
    That's why this is the last parade.


    Maybe not.
    Oould you ask him to slow down?


    Oould you slow down?


    Barry!


    OK, I made a huge mistake.
    This is a total disaster, all my fault.


    Yes, it kind of is.


    I've ruined the planet.
    I wanted to help you


    with the flower shop.
    I've made it worse.


    Actually, it's completely closed down.


    I thought maybe you were remodeling.


    But I have another idea, and it's
    greater than my previous ideas combined.


    I don't want to hear it!


    All right, they have the roses,
    the roses have the pollen.


    I know every bee, plant
    and flower bud in this park.


    All we gotta do is get what they've got
    back here with what we've got.


    • Bees.
    • Park.


    • Pollen!
    • Flowers.


    • Repollination!
    • Across the nation!


    Tournament of Roses,
    Pasadena, Oalifornia.


    They've got nothing
    but flowers, floats and cotton candy.


    Security will be tight.


    I have an idea.


    Vanessa Bloome, FTD.


    Official floral business. It's real.


    Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.


    Thank you. It was a gift.


    Once inside,
    we just pick the right float.


    How about The Princess and the Pea?


    I could be the princess,
    and you could be the pea!


    Yes, I got it.


    • Where should I sit?
    • What are you?


    • I believe I'm the pea.
    • The pea?


    It goes under the mattresses.


    • Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
    • I'm getting the marshal.


    You do that!
    This whole parade is a fiasco!


    Let's see what this baby'll do.


    Hey, what are you doing?!


    Then all we do
    is blend in with traffic...


    ...without arousing suspicion.


    Once at the airport,
    there's no stopping us.


    Stop! Security.


    • You and your insect pack your float?
    • Yes.


    Has it been
    in your possession the entire time?


    Would you remove your shoes?


    • Remove your stinger.
    • It's part of me.


    I know. Just having some fun.
    Enjoy your flight.


    Then if we're lucky, we'll have
    just enough pollen to do the job.


    Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
    have just enough pollen to do the job!


    I think this is gonna work.


    It's got to work.


    Attention, passengers,
    this is Oaptain Scott.


    We have a bit of bad weather
    in New York.


    It looks like we'll experience
    a couple hours delay.


    Barry, these are cut flowers
    with no water. They'll never make it.


    I gotta get up there
    and talk to them.


    Be careful.


    Oan I get help
    with the Sky Mall magazine?


    I'd like to order the talking
    inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.


    Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.


    • What'd you say, Hal?
    • Nothing.


    Bee!


    Don't freak out! My entire species...


    What are you doing?


    • Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
    • Who's an attorney?


    Don't move.


    Oh, Barry.


    Good afternoon, passengers.
    This is your captain.


    Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
    please report to the cockpit?


    And please hurry!


    What happened here?


    There was a DustBuster,
    a toupee, a life raft exploded.


    One's bald, one's in a boat,
    they're both unconscious!


    • Is that another bee joke?
    • No!


    No one's flying the plane!


    This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
    What's your status?


    This is Vanessa Bloome.
    I'm a florist from New York.


    Where's the pilot?


    He's unconscious,
    and so is the copilot.


    Not good. Does anyone onboard
    have flight experience?


    As a matter of fact, there is.


    • Who's that?
    • Barry Benson.


    From the honey trial?! Oh, great.


    Vanessa, this is nothing more
    than a big metal bee.


    It's got giant wings, huge engines.


    I can't fly a plane.


    • Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
    • Yes.


    How hard could it be?


    Wait, Barry!
    We're headed into some lightning.


    This is Bob Bumble. We have some
    late-breaking news from JFK Airport,


    where a suspenseful scene
    is developing.


    Barry Benson,
    fresh from his legal victory...


    That's Barry!


    ...is attempting to land a plane,
    loaded with people, flowers


    and an incapacitated flight crew.


    Flowers?!


    We have a storm in the area
    and two individuals at the controls


    with absolutely no flight experience.


    Just a minute.
    There's a bee on that plane.


    I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
    and his no-account compadres.


    They've done enough damage.


    But isn't he your only hope?


    Technically, a bee
    shouldn't be able to fly at all.


    Their wings are too small...


    Haven't we heard this a million times?


    "The surface area of the wings
    and body mass make no sense."


    • Get this on the air!
    • Got it.


    • Stand by.
    • We're going live.


    The way we work may be a mystery to you.


    Making honey takes a lot of bees
    doing a lot of small jobs.


    But let me tell you about a small job.


    If you do it well,
    it makes a big difference.


    More than we realized.
    To us, to everyone.


    That's why I want to get bees
    back to working together.


    That's the bee way!
    We're not made of Jell-O.


    We get behind a fellow.


    • Black and yellow!
    • Hello!


    Left, right, down, hover.


    • Hover?
    • Forget hover.


    This isn't so hard.
    Beep-beep! Beep-beep!


    Barry, what happened?!


    Wait, I think we were
    on autopilot the whole time.


    • That may have been helping me.
    • And now we're not!


    So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.


    All of you, let's get
    behind this fellow! Move it out!


    Move out!


    Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
    you copy me with the wings of the plane!


    Don't have to yell.


    I'm not yelling!
    We're in a lot of trouble.


    It's very hard to concentrate
    with that panicky tone in your voice!


    It's not a tone. I'm panicking!


    I can't do this!


    Vanessa, pull yourself together.
    You have to snap out of it!


    You snap out of it.


    You snap out of it.


    • You snap out of it!
    • You snap out of it!


    • You snap out of it!
    • You snap out of it!


    • You snap out of it!
    • You snap out of it!


    • Hold it!
    • Why? Oome on, it's my turn.


    How is the plane flying?


    I don't know.


    Hello?


    Benson, got any flowers
    for a happy occasion in there?


    The Pollen Jocks!


    They do get behind a fellow.


    • Black and yellow.
    • Hello.


    All right, let's drop this tin can
    on the blacktop.


    Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?


    No, nothing. It's all cloudy.


    Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.


    • Thinking bee.
    • Thinking bee.


    Thinking bee!
    Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


    Wait a minute.
    I think I'm feeling something.


    • What?
    • I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.


    Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.


    Bring the nose down.


    Thinking bee!
    Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


    • What in the world is on the tarmac?
    • Get some lights on that!


    Thinking bee!
    Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


    • Vanessa, aim for the flower.
    • OK.


    Out the engines. We're going in
    on bee power. Ready, boys?


    Affirmative!


    Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.


    Land on that flower!


    Ready? Full reverse!


    Spin it around!


    • Not that flower! The other one!
    • Which one?


    • That flower.
    • I'm aiming at the flower!


    That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
    I mean the giant pulsating flower


    made of millions of bees!


    Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.


    Rotate around it.


    • This is insane, Barry!
    • This's the only way I know how to fly.


    Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
    flying in an insect-like pattern?


    Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
    Smell it. Full reverse!


    Just drop it. Be a part of it.


    Aim for the center!


    Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!


    Oome on, already.


    Barry, we did it!
    You taught me how to fly!


    • Yes. No high-five!
    • Right.


    Barry, it worked!
    Did you see the giant flower?


    What giant flower? Where? Of course
    I saw the flower! That was genius!


    • Thank you.
    • But we're not done yet.


    Listen, everyone!


    This runway is covered
    with the last pollen


    from the last flowers
    available anywhere on Earth.


    That means this is our last chance.


    We're the only ones who make honey,
    pollinate flowers and dress like this.


    If we're gonna survive as a species,
    this is our moment! What do you say?


    Are we going to be bees, orjust
    Museum of Natural History keychains?


    We're bees!


    Keychain!


    Then follow me! Except Keychain.


    Hold on, Barry. Here.


    You've earned this.


    Yeah!


    I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
    fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.


    Oh, yeah.


    That's our Barry.


    Mom! The bees are back!


    If anybody needs
    to make a call, now's the time.


    I got a feeling we'll be
    working late tonight!


    Here's your change. Have a great
    afternoon! Oan I help who's next?


    Would you like some honey with that?
    It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.


    Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
    And I don't see a nickel!


    Sometimes I just feel
    like a piece of meat!


    I had no idea.


    Barry, I'm sorry.
    Have you got a moment?


    Would you excuse me?
    My mosquito associate will help you.


    Sorry I'm late.


    He's a lawyer too?


    I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
    All I needed was a briefcase.


    Have a great afternoon!


    Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
    and I can't get them anywhere.


    No problem, Vannie.
    Just leave it to me.


    You're a lifesaver, Barry.
    Oan I help who's next?


    All right, scramble, jocks!
    It's time to fly.


    Thank you, Barry!


    That bee is living my life!


    Let it go, Kenny.


    • When will this nightmare end?!
    • Let it all go.


    • Beautiful day to fly.
    • Sure is.


    Between you and me,
    I was dying to get out of that office.


    You have got
    to start thinking bee, my friend.


    • Thinking bee!
    • Me?


    Hold it. Let's just stop
    for a second. Hold it.


    I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
    Oan we stop here?


    I'm not making a major life decision
    during a production number!


    All right. Take ten, everybody.
    Wrap it up, guys.


    I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
    Janx_uwu
    smashboards.com

    Smashboards Creates Sonic: The Champions! (Action Figure submissions!)

    Sonic's tested the waters of fighting games before, what with his 3D arena fighter as well as his...2D arena fighter? Nevertheless, we're going to create a platform fighter themed around the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise. Nothing is off the table as long as it comes from that series. [/SPOILER]...
    smashboards.com smashboards.com
    gotta go pretty quick
    Janx_uwu
    hey guys! it’s the totally real Champion of Hyrule, here to tell you that today is THURSDAY!! Yep, definitely Thursday! This is most certainly not a smaller part of a large-scale mission to gaslight the public into thinking Friday is Thursday, of course not, that would be crazy!!
    Don’t look at my name btw
    Janx_uwu
    Not a shill or anything, but the Super Mario Smash Bros thread is really good, like this is probably the most fun I've had in a creation thread since the (pre-DJ Octavio) Infinite thread.
    nothing against octavio, i think he'd be a fun character, that's just about when the thread got less fun.
    Janx_uwu
    After watching The Cuphead Show, I decided to go back and watch the TGA trailer for Delicious Last Course that I missed out on, and I'm really excited to see they have a boss battle that's medieval/chess themed. I just like medieval stuff a lot, I guess.
    Also, it's awesome to see that the Cuphead team puts just as much effort into their game's trailers than the game itself, if not more so.
    Janx_uwu
    Paramount just updated the Sonic Movie 2 poster to feature Colleen O’ Shaughnessey and Tika Sumpter, which is pretty neat. I wasn’t upset that they weren’t featured at first (since that’s not really how movie poster credits work-actor popularity takes priority over character importance usually), but it’s awesome to see their inclusion due to fan demand. The future of the Sonic Cinematic Universe looks quite bright.
    Janx_uwu
    We've reached a new era of Smashboards profile post meta.
    Janx_uwu

    (in whale noises) "No, Archie, don't turn me into an edgy antagonist capable of speaking perfect English-"
    Janx_uwu
    Got a new chromebook for school which is epic. Runs WAY better than my old one, it can actually load up Google Docs without making me wait three minutes to type anything with minimal lag.
    Also I got half-accepted into a somewhat prestigious summer camp for the arts, specifically the Creative Writing course in my case. Couple more things to submit/attend and I'll know if I'm in within a couple months.
    Also also, my birth mother's mom died, and my dad only found out by complete accident since no one from my mother's side ever told him. Like c'mon man I knew our family was weird but that's kinda ridiculous. Sad that my grandma's gone, but not super emotional about it since the last time I saw her I was eight or nine.
    Also also also, think I might go to church this Sunday. My head is constantly go-go-go these days and I can't think of anything that would help that other than some spirituality. It's a long weekend for me so no better time for that kinda thing.
    Janx_uwu
    Was at the bookstore the other day, picked up a book about gay conversion therapy and the Church that looked interesting. But after reading the inside cover I genuinely couldn't tell if it was for or against gay conversion therapy, and at that point I just put it back on the shelf.
    Got Brave New World, Fangirl and Last Man Standing instead, all of which are pretty good so far.
    Janx_uwu
    Dear God the new avatars in Switch Sports look awful, like why the heck are they not just using Mii’s
    Janx_uwu
    Janx_uwu
    "hmm today I am going to rejoin the Smash Infinite threa-"
    Janx_uwu
    Ranking every SmashBoards theme:
    1. Malachite
    2. Classic
    3. PM
    4. Smashboards
    5. Sapphire
    6. Onyx
    7. Ruby
    8. Cobalt
    9. Sugilite
    10. Amethyst
    11. Emerald
    12. Garnet
    13. Light

    Notes:
    SmashBoards Light makes me want to commit war crimes.
    Onyx is really cool and muted, but on the downside every link looks like you're hovering over it.
    PM would've been 2 or 1 if it didn't have the Ult characters on the top. Adding in Knuckles would've confirmed it as #1.
    Most of the ones I don't like are either too bright or too dim.
    Classic can be a bit ugly but of all the themes it causes the least lag on my computer.
    Janx_uwu
    Got an online school day tomorrow, might use my extra time to catch up on Jujitsu Kaizen, make a formal ranking of every SmashBoards theme, or both.
  • Loading…
  • Loading…
  • Loading…
Top Bottom