• Welcome to Smashboards, the world's largest Super Smash Brothers community! Over 250,000 Smash Bros. fans from around the world have come to discuss these great games in over 19 million posts!

    You are currently viewing our boards as a visitor. Click here to sign up right now and start on your path in the Smash community!

Why Gay Pride Sucks

Joined
Mar 17, 2009
Messages
6,345
Location
New York, NY
3DS FC
5429-7210-5657
Link to original post: [drupal=3463]Why Gay Pride Sucks[/drupal]


Once upon a time, I awoke to find myself attracted to men. It actually wasn’t anything like that, but that version of the story is a lot simpler than the real one, which is very complicated. Perhaps unusually, I’m not really able to pinpoint the exact moment I knew I was attracted to guys. It was very early on in my childhood, though, because I cannot remember a time when I didn’t know it.

As such, it is safe to say that I grew up being a homosexual. I never had the sudden realization, the shock, the denial, or any of that. It was pretty clear to me, and I was okay with it for the most part. I’m a pretty private person, so I never invited the attention that is associated with coming out. I dated girls who asked me out, sometimes, because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but not to attempt to hide anything.

When I made the decision to avoid coming out until I was in college, it was largely because I didn’t really want any undeserved, extra attention. There would be people (idiots, mostly) who hailed me as some brave hero, and there would also be those (also idiots, but more mainstream idiots) who thought I was some crusader against Christ, or whatever. There would also be my family, who would make attempts to “talk about it” or ask me questions about when I knew, who I’d been with, why I didn’t tell them, and other really absurd questions that I simply didn’t feel like answering. However, I also knew that they asked these things out of love; they thought, “hey, I should probably take interest in this subject, because being gay is a Really Big Deal.”

It isn’t necessarily that I was ashamed of being gay; it was more that for some reason, it has been decided that being gay is a Really Big Deal when I have never really understood why it is a Really Big Deal. I am proud of who I am and everything (OK, most things) about myself, which includes my attraction to men, but also my favorite foods, my talents and skills, my hobbies and interests, and my friends and family. I am proud of these things and who I am today.

However, I am not proud of the gay community or what it stands for. Members of the gay “community” largely treat each other as objects. They segregate themselves, socializing mostly among only other gay people. They think that being homosexual is about more than a sexual or emotional attraction to the same sex; to much of the homosexual community, it is their identity, their life. And that identity is flamboyant acts amounting only to a need for attention; the culture is one of over-the-top glam, no-strings sex, clubbing, partying, and drugs.

Gay pride is different from Gay Pride. Gay pride is about being proud of being yourself all the time; Gay Pride is about parades and parties for one weekend out of the year. Gay pride is about education, tolerance, and self-esteem; Gay Pride is about bombastic displays and in-your-face announcements.

Gay Pride is never going to make a difference. We’re here and we’re queer, but so what? If you want for people to begin to respect us, it’s time to grow up. If you really want equal rights, get educated and get involved and quit partying on the beach. Gay Pride Weekend should be about political activism and public education, not rainbows, thongs, and poppers.

For two days, the public eye was wasted on the gay community. We could have done so much more.
 

Nø Ca$h

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
2,726
Location
Philadelphia PA
my thoughts exactly. Gay Pride is stupid. im gay, idgaf what other ppl think. im not gonna be flamboyant and throw it in ppls faces. when i came out nobody believed me because i didnt act, walk, or talk, gay. i just say "i can act however the fvck i want to".

the Gay Pride image is degrading, and imo, it's the reason people use the terms "thats so gay" or "no homo". it's counter productive in trying to be treated equally.
 

X1-12

Smash Champion
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
2,022
Location
Southampton, UK
I'm not proud to be straight in the same way I'm not proud that I'm male, or a human, or have brown hair. Its just one of those things.

Same should be said for gays.
 

MattDotZeb

Smash Hero
Joined
Jan 4, 2006
Messages
6,122
Location
Quincy, MA
Meh.

If you're gay, you're gay.
If you're straight, you're straight.

That's that. No real difference. People have their own attractions.

It's just... whatever. I don't see why people think it's any bit of a big deal at all.
 

ook

Smash Lord
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
1,635
Location
Vernon Hills, Illinois
Well... I think back in the day before the whole Gay Pride thing started, it was a much bigger deal to be gay. Everyone was really secretive and underground about it. So they had to start being loud and proud to become part of the mainstream culture.
And they succeeded - look at the above few posts. Most people really didn't used to accept gayness like that.



Nowadays the parades and stuff are more just tradition, and celebration.
 

INSANE CARZY GUY

Banned via Warnings
Joined
May 14, 2008
Messages
6,915
Location
Indianapolis
Again why the F*** do people really care about being gay? Really when I was little a lot of teaher thought I was a queer because I chased the other boys and licked one more than once, i'm not gay I was just nuts back then heck I liked the floor to see how it tasted. WTF 1/2 grade that was the end of licking floors for me and other people I geuss. WTF?

but really it's like hateing this one color of this one idea that's a lot like your idea because they both want peace and then killing everyone with this other idea of wanting peace and freedom.

however if 2 gays are rainbow gays and teasing each other in the open I think it's safe to say it's a bit far.

I really don't care is ________ is gay I don't ask because it DOESN'T matter.
 

Mota

"The snake, knowing itself, strikes swiftly"
Joined
Jul 19, 2008
Messages
4,063
Location
Australia | Melb
the Gay Pride image is degrading, and imo, it's the reason people use the terms "thats so gay" or "no homo". it's counter productive in trying to be treated equally.
The gay pride parades with the over-the-top flamboyancy, dancing semi naked in tight bright clothing seems counter-productive.
The majority of the gay community are nothing like that and imo would rather not be associated with it.
There are homosexuals that are 'normal' to the point you wouldn't even suspect them of being gay. Yet if someone was to ask me what I associated with the word 'gay'...
The media is a large factor in fuelling that stereotype.
 

#HBC | Acrostic

♖♘♗♔♕♗♘♖
Joined
Jan 31, 2010
Messages
2,452
Thank you. The original thread post, thank you so much.

Edited on: On another forum board, a bunch of high school kids discovered that they were gay and have been making social threads for gay hook-ups. The sub-culture that these kids follow is to basically talk about Chris Colfer from Glee and to bring up new releases of Lady Gaga songs. Pushing the idea that they are supporting a commercialized stereotype results in a ban as one of the administrators is gay and takes such accusations as a personal insult. I'm just glad that this high school demographic came after Queer Eye for the Straight Guy lost popularity. To reiterate, thank you for writing this thread and posing a rational response to the Gay Pride festivities.

It's not so much a subjective sexual bias that I dislike certain gay communities. It is the fact that I have introverted tendencies and fail to understand the gaudy flamboyant nature that stereotypes gay culture as well as the fact that certain individuals support that as the social status quo.
 

Ganonsburg

Smash Lord
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,083
I'm glad to see that there are people like you. I for one do not approve of homosexuality, but it doesn't mean I directly hate or dislike people who are homosexual. Most of the people that are gay who I know are into Gay Pride, PDA (people of all persuasions are into PDA, which I dislike. Your love for someone is your business, not the world's), and getting mad at everyone who isn't gay when someone says that they don't like homosexuality.

I do, however, know one or two gay people who haven't shoved it in my face, and I have been able to be comfortable around them. If being gay is who you are, you probably deserve to be looked down upon. If it is a part of who you are, like X1-12 said, then people may disagree with it, but they will still be able to respect you.

It's like political beliefs. If you choose to define yourself by one issue, people most likely won't like you. If you identify yourself with multiple, or no specific one, people will be able to ignore the one or two things they don't agree with and respect the overall picture. It also works the other way. If you are unable to see the overall picture of someone, and only focus on one part of the person, then you have a problem and that is when I personally would define someone as racist/sexist/homophobic (a term that's thrown around way too much and out of context)/etc.

Maybe I posted too much about this, but I definitely agree with you. If a group of people feels like they are being denied something, then they need to work for it rather than whine for it. Not only will that group get what they initially wanted, but more likely than not they'll also get the respect of the other groups as opposed to the hate of the other groups.

:034:
 
Joined
Mar 17, 2009
Messages
6,345
Location
New York, NY
3DS FC
5429-7210-5657
If you are uncomfortable around gay people because they are into men, that is an issue of homophobia. If you are uncomfortable around flamboyant over-the-top men in pink tutus, that's probably not a good thing either, but I can understand why you'd feel that way.

I'm not really uncomfortable around any type of person, but I do think that this weekend (when all eyes were on the gay community) should have been about something other than letting everyone know that we've chosen to label ourselves something and behave a certain way. It should have been about advancing the case for civil rights in an intelligent way and not about shaking our collective *****.
 

Red Arremer

Smash Legend
Joined
Nov 27, 2005
Messages
11,437
Location
Vienna
Originally, gay parades actually were about civil rights, but they have become a showcase of the most flamboyant the gay community has.

I'm totally open about being gay, and I don't feel that this is something special or needs to be specifically underlined; it should be accepted as normal, just like saying you prefer wearing black sweaters, like lasagna or listen to Finnish metal bands.

I agree that these over the top princesses are partly damaging the image of the homosexuals, however, they are definitely not the main cause. There's still hatred and loathe for people who are "different" in some way, not only sexuality, but also religion, nationality, political opinions, lifestyle, clothing style, whatever. The fear of "other" people was always there and will most likely linger around humanity for a long time.

Currently being homosexual is "being different", and the gay parading is putting weight onto this perception. It should become "being normal" instead.
 

DTP

L o s t - in reality~
Joined
Jun 14, 2008
Messages
8,125
I really don't care what other gay guys do. They can hold all the silly, pointless parades they want to.

But when people start associating me with something that I'm clearly not, then I'll start having issues.

I don't need to go to a gay parade to feel accepted and comfortable with the way I am.
It's not that I want nothing to do with the gay community, it's just that I don't want to feel like I HAVE to be involved in all these flashy, homosexual self-esteem boosters.

Currently being homosexual is "being different", and the gay parading is putting weight onto this perception. It should become "being normal" instead.
I definitely agree with this statement here. They further a stereotype that , I'm assuming, the majority of homosexuals don't want. But at the same time, many people aren't really capable of looking past all of that.
We can PARTLY blame gay parades for all of the generalizations that people come up with, but it's also caused be peoples blatant ignorance.

Of course I'm not saying everyone makes these generalizations and is ignorant, but there's definitely people who still do, and that's what I think needs to change first.

Unfortunately it never will completely. Humans will be Humans after all.
Just saying.



 

황미영

Smash Champion
Joined
Nov 16, 2006
Messages
2,025
Location
대한민국
Oh wow I never knew that. I thought the parades were more about awareness. I have no problems with people with different sexual preferences. I'm friends with them, and they don't treat me any different. O;
 

ranmaru

Smash Legend
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
13,297
Switch FC
SW-0654 7794 0698
exactly wtf being gay is just like having a thing for fat chicks lol
LOL. I have a thing for asian girls. xD Anyways, I also was a little surprised when you said you were gay. You are right, you didn't act like it at all xD.

Like srs, I thought you were joking. xD But I just waited for you to deliver the punch line and it never came. xD So I assumed you weren't joking.

And I knew nothing of the parades either. But I guess, we all should remember that everyone one of us, Gay or not, has good and evil in them... lol if that has anything to do with the parades, oh well. : D
 

Ganonsburg

Smash Lord
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,083
If you are uncomfortable around gay people because they are into men, that is an issue of homophobia. If you are uncomfortable around flamboyant over-the-top men in pink tutus, that's probably not a good thing either, but I can understand why you'd feel that way.

I'm not really uncomfortable around any type of person, but I do think that this weekend (when all eyes were on the gay community) should have been about something other than letting everyone know that we've chosen to label ourselves something and behave a certain way. It should have been about advancing the case for civil rights in an intelligent way and not about shaking our collective *****.
Sorry, when I said, "I have been able to be comfortable around," I meant that I could interact with them as human beings without worrying about them getting all in my face. As I mentioned, most of the gays I know of in my community are the kind to flaunt it and cause an uproar when you don't like it.

But I agree that being uncomfortable because you're afraid of them for their homosexuality is homophobia, which I don't necessarily think is a bad thing. Being afraid of the unknown is a good way for our minds to protect us from a potential danger. But once we know that there is no danger, there's really no reason to be afraid anymore.

Basically, there's a lot more to be said to defend both the homophobes and the gays and the people who just plain don't care, but I'm losing interest now. As a general rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This applies to everyone equally. So good on you for your choices in your life, and for taking the time to think.

:034:
 

-_skinny_-

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Nov 29, 2009
Messages
120
Location
Final Des
3DS FC
3668-9841-7290
theres nothing wrong with identifying yourself as gay, in fact i encourage it. i as a straight man dont give a **** if your gay as long as you dont act like a flamboyant "in your face" kind of gay. its not a big deal so dont make it. that being said one of my friends is gay and we still check chicks out lol. its more of a game for him, but its weird cuz i never see him checking guys out, at least not infront of his guy friends. hes probably the coolest person ive ever met and it ddnt phase me at all when he came out to me, mostly cuz he ddnt make a big deal about it
 

July

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Jun 1, 2010
Messages
142
Location
Philadelphia, PA
I've honestly never seen many people in my area who are gay and would be considered "flamboyant", but maybe that's because I live in the Bible Belt and being homosexual is still a REALLY Big Deal here. But I do have friends who are gay and express themselves in completely different ways, and I really love that about them. One of my friends very much agrees that Gay Pride is detrimental rather than beneficial to the gay community, which is great for him.

However for my best friend, accepting that he is gay has been a harder experience. The happiest I've seen him in a while was after returning from a Gay Pride event, he said that he actually felt like it was okay to be himself and he wasn't being judged. Again, maybe this is because living in the Bible Belt he's been called names just for the way he walks and talks, but the Pride event so much to him I think it must be helpful to other people in finding peace with themselves as well.

LOL. I have a thing for asian girls. xD
LOL I didn't know that ;P
 

ranmaru

Smash Legend
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
13,297
Switch FC
SW-0654 7794 0698
Haha you know now. ;P Well I guess anyone light skin hehe. :3

I don't like dark dark girls... Tho there are exceptions. I only remember ONE xD. I'm not being racist haha.

But sorry back ontopic.

Flamboyancy is ok I guess. It's koo, people like to show who they are, its ok.
 

Teran

Through Fire, Justice is Served
Super Moderator
Premium
BRoomer
Joined
Oct 23, 2008
Messages
37,167
Location
Beastector HQ
3DS FC
3540-0079-4988
I'm just opposed to the concept of pride in many cases.

Basically, I hate people being proud of just being a certain way, something they didn't actually achieve.

I mean wtf is that?
 

El Nino

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
Messages
1,289
Location
Ground zero, 1945
If you feel no pride, then I suspect that you have never been fully oppressed for your sexual orientation. And if that's the case, then I suspect that this is a result of those who came before you, those who were not so fortunate, and those who had to struggle for the recognition that you are freely given. And I suppose I could call this something of a triumph on their part.

It is sad, however, that few people know the history behind it. Because many of those who were there, back in the day, are still alive, and I wonder how they feel about the new generation taking the fruits of their labor while being completely oblivious to the struggle that brought us to this point.

I wonder.

I wonder, also, whether the LGBT community in the US and the industrialized Western world is as isolated as much of the mainstream US can be at times, and I wonder if they've chosen to ignore situations in other parts of the world, in other societies, in places where people still risk death, torture, social isolation and imprisonment for an aspect of themselves that the ruling elite refuses to condone.

I wonder because the fight's not over yet. Not by a long shot.

But a part of me was expecting a reaction like this from someone, just after pride day.
 

Shorts

Zef Side
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
Messages
9,609
3DS FC
3136-6583-3704
Umm, thanks for your opinion.

"Gay pride wont help anything"
Tell that to everyone who believed in equality both male vs female and colored vs white.

Your dumb, And have a nice day :)

This is coming from a gay himself
 
Joined
Mar 17, 2009
Messages
6,345
Location
New York, NY
3DS FC
5429-7210-5657
Umm, thanks for your opinion.

"Gay pride wont help anything"
Tell that to everyone who believed in equality both male vs female and colored vs white.

Your dumb, And have a nice day :)

This is coming from a gay himself
You are making the profound mistake of associating homosexuality with all of this nonsense that the homosexual community wants to tar and feather our image with. I am gay. I am proud of it, or as proud of it as I am of anything else.

In short, you have failed to see the point.
 

Firus

You know what? I am good.
BRoomer
Joined
Apr 7, 2008
Messages
7,681
NNID
OctagonalWalnut
3DS FC
0619-4291-4974
"Gay pride wont help anything"
Tell that to everyone who believed in equality both male vs female and colored vs white.
Uh...it's odd that you used quotation marks around that statement because it actually was never used in the blog.

Also, did you actually read the blog? You seem to be a typical case of someone who is offended by something and, rather than taking the time to READ what you think is insulting and offensive, you decide to read one line or so that fits what you thought it was about and nothing else, therefore missing what it was actually about.

He says that "Gay Pride" is not going to make a difference because, at this point, it's just a way for gays to be flamboyant about their sexuality, really accomplishing nothing aside from attracting attention.

There's a difference between having pride in something, being loud about it, and trying to be accepted, and merely partying and attracting attention.

It's like comparing some sort of teen protest to "Spring Break".

Your dumb
Says the person who just used the wrong "your". Irony is just so amazing sometimes, isn't it?

Also, calling someone "dumb" is absolutely useless. It doesn't contribute anything except potentially start an insult war, which will get everybody absolutely nowhere.

This is coming from a gay himself
The OP is actually gay, too, as you would know if you actually read the blog.
 

El Nino

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
Messages
1,289
Location
Ground zero, 1945
He says that "Gay Pride" is not going to make a difference because, at this point, it's just a way for gays to be flamboyant about their sexuality, really accomplishing nothing aside from attracting attention.
I just want to mention that flamboyancy was always a reaction against "the closet." And while it may seem that US society is more open to alternative lifestyles, "the closet" is still a reality for a lot of people.

In short, some people may be "over it." They are the lucky ones. A lot of others still have to deal with it. And one person can't tell another when they should be "over" something. Life doesn't work that way.

Edit:
The OP is actually gay, too, as you would know if you actually read the blog.
I think at least half of this thread is gay.
 
Joined
Mar 17, 2009
Messages
6,345
Location
New York, NY
3DS FC
5429-7210-5657
You don't have to wear a rainbow thong down the street or be a topless biker [lesbian] to enjoy sexual and personal emotional freedom.

Are you aware that I grew up in rural Ohio, and Kentucky, locations classically (and for good reason) associated with prejudice? Do you realize that I was made fun of in school the same as many other closeted homosexuals? It's called self-esteem. It's called emotional maturity.

Maybe I gave the impression that my life as a child was easy, but it was not, largely because of my sexuality. But I worked hard and was able to recognize that the closet is a self-imposed prison. No one puts you there. There is nothing wrong with staying in it as long as you feel you need to, but leaving it gracefully is part of growing up.

By the way, I have no qualms with effeminate men or with rainbow thongs or lesbians or anything else, although I do take issue with how their existence has reflected onto the gay community a little bit.
 

El Nino

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
Messages
1,289
Location
Ground zero, 1945
But I worked hard and was able to recognize that the closet is a self-imposed prison. No one puts you there.
Ever come from a place where the executioners are agents of the government? Or a place where homosexual practices are punishable by imprisonment by law?

Everyone's background is different. You have yours, and someone else has theirs. A lot of things go into making a person, and that includes culture and ethnicity. You grew up in a particular society, and your experiences are your own, but what you took from that can't be transferred to someone else who perhaps grew up in a different society, a different culture.

What works for you, what you consider liberation is not the same as for someone else. That's all I'm trying to say.

We're not all from Ohio.
 
Joined
Mar 17, 2009
Messages
6,345
Location
New York, NY
3DS FC
5429-7210-5657
This post is largely addressing American behaviors and politics. That isn't to say those in the other parts of the world are not important, but I'm not educated enough to make any claims on their behalf.
 

El Nino

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
Messages
1,289
Location
Ground zero, 1945
Lol, this thread is turning into gay on gay crime.

This post is largely addressing American behaviors and politics. That isn't to say those in the other parts of the world are not important, but I'm not educated enough to make any claims on their behalf.
That's fair. The blog just didn't specify, and you're on the Internet, so I wasn't going to make assumptions. But anyway, what happens in America is being watched by people elsewhere. Many still look to the West as some kind of an ideal in terms of democratic freedom and social acceptance.

Are parades silly things? Yeah. So are video game tournaments. And New Years celebrations. But people still do it, obviously.

And I'm not one to turn down the excuse for a party.
 

#HBC | Acrostic

♖♘♗♔♕♗♘♖
Joined
Jan 31, 2010
Messages
2,452
Supermodel from Paris, how dare you condescendingly preach modesty when you don't know about all the gay men suffering under Talibanesque regimes. You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to enforce your opinions on other gays when you don't know the history of hate and anguish we tolerated in order to give you the privilege you have today. For shame. You are forever shunned by the Pride Council and banished to The Closet where you must discover what it is like for other gay men all over the world who can't publicly express their inner gay. You are only allowed out when you discover your inner Pride or you shall die in The Closet. In The Closet men don't die normal deaths. Nay. They suffer eternal deaths that never end. The most appropriate punishment for infidels like you.
 

Sasha

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
323
Location
Berkerey, CA
I can't tell if the guy above me is being sarcastic or not.

I'm gonna be honest though. From a straight POV, I've found much of the same Gay Pride acts that the OP is against are indeed counter productive to the entire movement towards civil rights.

On a personal level, the only thing about gay people that's weird to me is sex between two men. It's just gross to me. All anal sex is. It just sounds painful.

Maybe that's just me.
 

Mota

"The snake, knowing itself, strikes swiftly"
Joined
Jul 19, 2008
Messages
4,063
Location
Australia | Melb
On a personal level, the only thing about gay people that's weird to me is sex between two men. It's just gross to me. All anal sex is. It just sounds painful.
Anal sex doesn't just occur between homosexual couples.
'Straight' and lesbian partners enjoy it as well, and it mustn't be painful or people wouldn't do it.
Ummm...don't knock it til you've tried it?
 

DarkLouis331

Smash Lord
Joined
Mar 12, 2008
Messages
1,502
I think everyone deserves the right to be with who they want to be with. Heterosexuals, Homosexuals, even 20 year olds with 16 year olds (with parental approval.)

However, gays have been some of the most annoying, in-your-face-about-their-beliefs people I know. I've hung out with a couple though and they're pretty cool, funny people. lol
 
Top Bottom