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Link to original post: [drupal=3463]Why Gay Pride Sucks[/drupal]
Once upon a time, I awoke to find myself attracted to men. It actually wasn’t anything like that, but that version of the story is a lot simpler than the real one, which is very complicated. Perhaps unusually, I’m not really able to pinpoint the exact moment I knew I was attracted to guys. It was very early on in my childhood, though, because I cannot remember a time when I didn’t know it.
As such, it is safe to say that I grew up being a homosexual. I never had the sudden realization, the shock, the denial, or any of that. It was pretty clear to me, and I was okay with it for the most part. I’m a pretty private person, so I never invited the attention that is associated with coming out. I dated girls who asked me out, sometimes, because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but not to attempt to hide anything.
When I made the decision to avoid coming out until I was in college, it was largely because I didn’t really want any undeserved, extra attention. There would be people (idiots, mostly) who hailed me as some brave hero, and there would also be those (also idiots, but more mainstream idiots) who thought I was some crusader against Christ, or whatever. There would also be my family, who would make attempts to “talk about it” or ask me questions about when I knew, who I’d been with, why I didn’t tell them, and other really absurd questions that I simply didn’t feel like answering. However, I also knew that they asked these things out of love; they thought, “hey, I should probably take interest in this subject, because being gay is a Really Big Deal.”
It isn’t necessarily that I was ashamed of being gay; it was more that for some reason, it has been decided that being gay is a Really Big Deal when I have never really understood why it is a Really Big Deal. I am proud of who I am and everything (OK, most things) about myself, which includes my attraction to men, but also my favorite foods, my talents and skills, my hobbies and interests, and my friends and family. I am proud of these things and who I am today.
However, I am not proud of the gay community or what it stands for. Members of the gay “community” largely treat each other as objects. They segregate themselves, socializing mostly among only other gay people. They think that being homosexual is about more than a sexual or emotional attraction to the same sex; to much of the homosexual community, it is their identity, their life. And that identity is flamboyant acts amounting only to a need for attention; the culture is one of over-the-top glam, no-strings sex, clubbing, partying, and drugs.
Gay pride is different from Gay Pride. Gay pride is about being proud of being yourself all the time; Gay Pride is about parades and parties for one weekend out of the year. Gay pride is about education, tolerance, and self-esteem; Gay Pride is about bombastic displays and in-your-face announcements.
Gay Pride is never going to make a difference. We’re here and we’re queer, but so what? If you want for people to begin to respect us, it’s time to grow up. If you really want equal rights, get educated and get involved and quit partying on the beach. Gay Pride Weekend should be about political activism and public education, not rainbows, thongs, and poppers.
For two days, the public eye was wasted on the gay community. We could have done so much more.
Once upon a time, I awoke to find myself attracted to men. It actually wasn’t anything like that, but that version of the story is a lot simpler than the real one, which is very complicated. Perhaps unusually, I’m not really able to pinpoint the exact moment I knew I was attracted to guys. It was very early on in my childhood, though, because I cannot remember a time when I didn’t know it.
As such, it is safe to say that I grew up being a homosexual. I never had the sudden realization, the shock, the denial, or any of that. It was pretty clear to me, and I was okay with it for the most part. I’m a pretty private person, so I never invited the attention that is associated with coming out. I dated girls who asked me out, sometimes, because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but not to attempt to hide anything.
When I made the decision to avoid coming out until I was in college, it was largely because I didn’t really want any undeserved, extra attention. There would be people (idiots, mostly) who hailed me as some brave hero, and there would also be those (also idiots, but more mainstream idiots) who thought I was some crusader against Christ, or whatever. There would also be my family, who would make attempts to “talk about it” or ask me questions about when I knew, who I’d been with, why I didn’t tell them, and other really absurd questions that I simply didn’t feel like answering. However, I also knew that they asked these things out of love; they thought, “hey, I should probably take interest in this subject, because being gay is a Really Big Deal.”
It isn’t necessarily that I was ashamed of being gay; it was more that for some reason, it has been decided that being gay is a Really Big Deal when I have never really understood why it is a Really Big Deal. I am proud of who I am and everything (OK, most things) about myself, which includes my attraction to men, but also my favorite foods, my talents and skills, my hobbies and interests, and my friends and family. I am proud of these things and who I am today.
However, I am not proud of the gay community or what it stands for. Members of the gay “community” largely treat each other as objects. They segregate themselves, socializing mostly among only other gay people. They think that being homosexual is about more than a sexual or emotional attraction to the same sex; to much of the homosexual community, it is their identity, their life. And that identity is flamboyant acts amounting only to a need for attention; the culture is one of over-the-top glam, no-strings sex, clubbing, partying, and drugs.
Gay pride is different from Gay Pride. Gay pride is about being proud of being yourself all the time; Gay Pride is about parades and parties for one weekend out of the year. Gay pride is about education, tolerance, and self-esteem; Gay Pride is about bombastic displays and in-your-face announcements.
Gay Pride is never going to make a difference. We’re here and we’re queer, but so what? If you want for people to begin to respect us, it’s time to grow up. If you really want equal rights, get educated and get involved and quit partying on the beach. Gay Pride Weekend should be about political activism and public education, not rainbows, thongs, and poppers.
For two days, the public eye was wasted on the gay community. We could have done so much more.
