TDB: SEASON 2! LEON (RE4) vs LARA CROFT

[REL38]

DK used a coconut GUN (it fired in spurts)

Chunky used the Pineapple Bazooka

but anyways, doesnt the fact that he used weaponary/etc prove that DK has human-esque intellect? And Jungle beat even shows he knows how to scrap (kinda)?

Except an ape isn't capable of such feats
Or else Pika's surfing capabilities makes him smart as a human :O


@Payas
You know as well as any of us that that DK's Orange Grenades are oranges

:3

 

[JOE!]

weapons of improv such as dirt, ect arent allowed or at least put in seriously as a variable because both sides can do it, and it's situational...

 

[adumbrodeus]

Well then, this would probably end in a draw....if DK didn't have bombs. Still, I will continue.


As bad as some injuries may seem at first glance, they aren't really that painful or fatal as they may seem. There are times when people won't even realize that they have been stabbed or shot.

This also applies to fatal wounds. When we hear that phrase, we inmediately think of "drop-dead instantly". That's definetly not true at all in the real life. When injured in a vital organ, there are still a good 1-2 minutes FOR YOUR AVERAGE HUMAN BODY to continue normal bodily functions before collapsing. This would mean that even a normal guy, like Ike, could get stabbed in the heart by Roy and still would have a good 2 minutes to kill Roy. Then he drops unconcious and dies if not treated.

How does this apply to DK? Well, even if Roy stabs him in a fatal spot, he could still be capable of grabbing Roy's sword, throw it away and then crush him with his monkey arms. Then he dies 4 minutes later. The match ends with both dead and in a draw.



Mind you, there ARE insta-incap spots in the body, namely the brain and the spinal cord. Those are the only places were a stab will most likely kil DK instantly. This would seem like a huge problem, but then I noticed the way DK and gorillas in general position themselves:

Unless stabbed from above or below, or from the sodes Donkey Kong's cord is very protected from damage thanks to that way of standing. And he could just keep facing Roy, never showing his vitals. Make a wall.

Granted, there is still the brain, but unless Roy stabs the eyes he won't be able to reach it. Rapiers are made to stab the weak links in armour, not to break it or pierce it directly. Also, I doubt Roy has the skill to aim for the eyes and stab him there constantly, and even when he stabs him, DK won't just stand there. Body reflexes will make him turn his head or move, making the stab miss the brain. Therefore, the skull should offer enough protection for his Brain.



So DK could simply get close to him, play defensive and intelligently, like the smart ape he is. Just like in jungle beats, but in a different position. Use his martial arts skill until worse comes to worst. Throw dirt at Roy's eyes, like apes do. Play dirty until the mammalian being's posterior waste collides with the ventilation device. If **** hits the fan and he gets stabbed, he could use his final moments to say "SCREW IT!" and crush Roy.

Then he dies.



This is without taking the bombs into consideration. With bombs, DK only has to do the above if he gets really unlucky.





Also: please watch the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c68sAnJkGzc&feature=related

These are pirate grenades. Not fruit bombs.

I could make a very long post explaining why Roy is far better equipped for this, but I decided to be lazy. If you wanna know what I was gonna say, you can pressure me on it (hint, it probably refers back to the same things I said 10,000 things before, so parse quotes about margin of error, spacing, and commitment of legs).


Joe already lol-phailed him, we found out he's got arms the size of great-swords +human arms without legs to match.


He's a slow lumbering beast, and the fact that his arms constitute the majority of his balance means he'll take forever to attack, making his horribly weak.


Unless we can prove that he's canonically some specific species of animal.



Also, you realize most rapiers have a blade too, right?

 

[JOE!]

Adum, you do realize that roy's arms are smaller due to him being a **** 15 year old, along with the sword of seals not being *that* long.

Then, DK is a ****ing ape that is over 6foot AT SHOULDER. His arm JUST BECAUSE OF HIS SIZE ALONE is like, the height of Roy.

 

[Diddy Kong]

@Payas

Ape's aren't smart in comparison to humans.

All of the weaponry in DK64 are based off of fruit.

Peanut Pop Gun?
Coconut Launcher?
Orange Grenades

RL oranges can't serve as productive explosives.
Or are you suggesting DK can use a bazooka that fires coconuts?

@Adumb

I stalled in your absence.
Doesn't that mean anything ;__;

Originally, Rare wanted to use real guns. But Nintendo didn't want that so... =/

Here's a pic:

 

[Nova9000]

Paya is coming to rescue DK???

And he even brought bombs??

Spoiler

Adum is to swords as Paya is to bombs

And he said what I was trying to say but did it the correct way??

And the debate continues !
We have a match folks!


http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2007/09/reallife_donkey_kong_shows_hum/

LOLZ.

 

[REL38]

@Nova

DK has no bombs.

His bombs in DK 64 compromised of oranges that exploded.
He's trying to make em' into actual grenades when they're oranges to begin with

:V

DK only has his physique to work with.

 

[Diddy Kong]

This pretty much justifies as a grenade, but orange (as in the color). They explode anyway, so why can't DK use them?

Besides, if the Coconut Gun was usable, it'd hurt pretty bad as well. Coconuts are hard as hell.

 

[Nova9000]

@Nova

DK has no bombs.

His bombs in DK 64 compromised of oranges that exploded.
He's trying to make em' into actual grenades when they're oranges to begin with

:V

DK only has his physique to work with.

Do me a favor and actually LOOK at the vid.
This is not DK64.
Mario v. DK is what this is from.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c68sAnJkGzc&feature=related
I know what he had in DK64.
And if you want, DK can throw oranges with his huge arms and smack Roy in the face.
That will leave a mark for certain. Or we go along with Diddy and have coconuts as well.

Oh, and I found something on DK that breaks the tie between him and Ivy; Ivy wins tht MU.

 

[Diddy Kong]

If DK has ANY sort of projectile he can make use of it with his strenght. Bombs / grenades are most favorable of coarse, but coconuts are also deadly for Roy. If Roy's getting hit by a coconut on his head, it's a instant kill most likely.

Coconuts are harder than a human skull anyways, and falling coconuts kill people frequently enough. In tropical places where lots of tourist come, you'll see lots of these sort of signs:

Imagine DK throwing them now.

Why wasn't this brought up before btw?

 

[REL38]

@Nova

My mistake.
I assumed it was a DK64 vid.
(unable to view vids for awhile)

Regardless, he's throwing Bob-ombs.
Living Beings

Say whatever you want, but these things are back-up. Mario canon has shown that Bob-ombs are living beings.

Heck, the Mario vs Donkey Kong games are arguable for canon anyways. All in all, it's a puzzle game. You don't see Kirby Tilt n' Tumble being used here :/

Throwing oranges is preposterious.

@Diddy

They're oranges.
They aren't lethal in any manner becuase they're fruit by origin.
They explode, yes.
But realistically, oranges don't explode.

DK64 followed a "jungle theme" for many of their items. Kongs obtained bananas. They did something with pinapples. Peanuts, coconuts and feathers for ammuntion. Getting the Crystal Coconut. Oranges as explosives.
Everything follows a set theme, especially with fruit. They're called Orange Grenades. Pretty self explanitory description of what they are. Fruit that explode.

Realistically, fruit can't explode if you fill them with gunpowder.

Coconuts are part of his launcher or w/e
Only one, at most, would be inside of it.
Roy sees the coconut and stays out of throwing distance. DK isn't smart enough to keep it and until Roy approaches. He'd throw it the moment he picks it up. Then Roy does what he does best. It's not like gorillas have good aim anyways.

Not to mention "throwing" for apes doesn't transfer their true strength mostly due to their build. DK's physique would prove somewhat problematic for proper throwing anyways.

 

[tocador]

A coconut shot from DK would kill or brake a bone from roy.

If DK is given coconuts he would run to roy and throw them with approx 10 times the strentgh of a human being, and as such would basically insta-ko with a headshot or badly injure with any limbs shot.

 

[Nova9000]

@Nova

My mistake.
I assumed it was a DK64 vid.
(unable to view vids for awhile)

Regardless, he's throwing Bob-ombs.
Living Beings

Say whatever you want, but these things are back-up. Mario canon has shown that Bob-ombs are living beings.

Heck, the Mario vs Donkey Kong games are arguable for canon anyways. All in all, it's a puzzle game. You don't see Kirby Tilt n' Tumble being used here :/

Throwing oranges is preposterious.

Bob-ombs living?
................
................
................

If I'm not mistaken, all Bob-ombs blow up. And what part of Mario canon makes sense in RL? They're bombs kid.
Whether Mario v. DK is canon or not isn't my call. But would Tilt and Tumble make Kirby any more valued in RL?
How about you let a baseball pitcher throw an orange at you. Not saying you'll die or anything but if Roy is going to camp, then it could work.

 

[Diddy Kong]

Bob-Omgs might not work IRL, cause they're more like creatures in Mario or something... Orange Grenades should be allowed though, they are only shaped like oranges. They work like real grenades and even look like them. For all we know, it aren't even fruits but actual orange grenades... (:

Coconut Gun likely wouldn't work IRL. But the amunition of it would, and... maybe the gun could be swinged around as a weapon. Roy could be disarmed this way.

And how's Ivysaur winning from DK, Nova?

 

[adumbrodeus]

DK has no reliable way to throw since Joe lol-phailed him.


He also has no

Adum, you do realize that roy's arms are smaller due to him being a **** 15 year old, along with the sword of seals not being *that* long.

Then, DK is a ****ing ape that is over 6foot AT SHOULDER. His arm JUST BECAUSE OF HIS SIZE ALONE is like, the height of Roy.

15 year olds on average aren't that much shorter then fully grown men, if you compare his height to that of other sprites in the game, it shows that he's taller then average anyway, because he averages about their average. His arm length is similar as well.


As for Dk's, arms it's over double the size of a gorilla arm, with bulk to match.

The legs, same size as normal gorillas.


That means it will be heavier by several orders of magnitude.


No, you lol-phailed him.





As far as grenades go... they're oranges not grenades, and what nintendo WANTED to do is irrelevant. What they DID is relevant.


As a function of his bad balance, he can't throw effectively, can't shoot effectively, and where praytell is he gonna carry spare ammunition?

 

[Nova9000]

Bob-Omgs might not work IRL, cause they're more like creatures in Mario or something... Orange Grenades should be allowed though, they are only shaped like oranges. They work like real grenades and even look like them. For all we know, it aren't even fruits but actual orange grenades... (:

Coconut Gun likely wouldn't work IRL. But the amunition of it would, and... maybe the gun could be swinged around as a weapon. Roy could be disarmed this way.

And how's Ivysaur winning from DK, Nova?

I can't accept a bomb being real. Like they're man made and have no evidence of life.

And Ivysaur is a reptile right?

 

[Diddy Kong]

How's DK lolphail? His legs aren't that skinny or anything... Oranutangs for example are much worse, and they have a big *** belly and much skinnier arms than DK.

If anything, DK's huge arms could still keep him up. Even if he where to lay down while throwing coconuts he'd still have the advantage...

 

[Nova9000]

How's DK lolphail? His legs aren't that skinny or anything... Oranutangs for example are much worse, and they have a big *** belly and much skinnier arms than DK.

If anything, DK's huge arms could still keep him up. Even if he where to lay down while throwing coconuts he'd still have the advantage...

Orangatang arms are for climbing trees. Gorillas move on all 4s but can stand bipedally.

 

[Diddy Kong]

Well, likely DK cannot stand on 2 legs, but why should he now? I think his upper body strenght will keep him up anyways, and even if he where to be lying on the ground he'd still be able to throw coconuts and maybe even bombs at Roy's face.

 

[REL38]

@Nova

Ever played a Mario game beyond 1,2,3 and World?

Mario 64
Pink Bob-ombs are at war with the black ones.
Black Bob-ombs will chase you and suicide bomb.
Their leader is a giant bomb with a moustache.

Paper Mario Series
They give off facial expressions.
They initiate battle.
Bob-ombs even have their own society working for them.

Mario & Luigi Series
Same as Paper Mario.

Super Princess Peach
They display emotions for crying out loud.
See wat I did there?


Although uncanon, Mario Party's frequently show them talking from time to time.

Yeeeah

 

[adumbrodeus]

How's DK lolphail? His legs aren't that skinny or anything... Oranutangs for example are much worse, and they have a big *** belly and much skinnier arms than DK.

If anything, DK's huge arms could still keep him up. Even if he where to lay down while throwing coconuts he'd still have the advantage...

...


Hos wieght is concentrated way too way in his front, he literally can't stand on his hind legs only realistically because he needs his arms for support. The explosive speed? Gone. He can't even attack quickly because he has to drastically shift his weight, and he'll be off balance for a while afterwards.


Orangutans avoid the issue by having the skinny arms actually, if they had large arms, they'd be just as badly off as DK.



As far as throwing, it's the angle, you get your advantage in throwing by using your arm's full range of motion, DK's range of motion is very limited by his required stance, ala on all 4s. We're good at throwing because we stand up straight.

 

[JOE!]

Adum, dk isnt lolphail, you took the comment i made about how big his arms would be and scewed it.

His arms are that size becaus eh himself is a giant-****ing-ape. In all appearances he has been like 6foot tall at the LEAST when on all fours, that would mean his arms would be as long as Roy is tall.

Speaking of Roy's height, I was comparing him to his buddies: Martha nd Ike, who are about the average Male height, maybe a few inches on marth, putting them at about 6foot. Roy is shorter than both of these guys, and doesnt display lanky proportions, so his arm length would be in the relm of just a bit over 2ft.

edit:

if you want adum, I could just be overly realistic and go down the route mentioned many times that would leave us with just like, Snake, Squirtle and diddy kong as the only viable guys.

 

[Nova9000]

@Nova

Ever played a Mario game beyond 1,2,3 and World?

Mario 64
Pink Bob-ombs are at war with the black ones.
Black Bob-ombs will chase you and suicide bomb.
Their leader is a giant bomb with a moustache.

Paper Mario Series
They give off facial expressions.
They initiate battle.
Bob-ombs even have their own society working for them.

Mario & Luigi Series
Same as Paper Mario.

Super Princess Peach
They display emotions for crying out loud.
See wat I did there?
Not Cool

Although uncanon, Mario Party's frequently show them talking from time to time.

Yeeeah

I sure have. And Like I said before what entails them being alive.
We failed Jiggs and Kirby since they lacked muscles.
Bombs don't have muscles.
We also failed Sonic and Yoshi because their heads are too big for their body.
Bombs are all face.

In fact, how about this:
Life has all of these functions:
-able to gather elements from resources outside the body (Carbon)
-can produce and use energy
-reproduction/metabolism
-ability to maintain homeostasis
-water
I may be missing a few, but these are most of the main things. Can your Bob-ombs do that?

@ Diddy Kong, JOE!, and Adum
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Gorilla#Description
That's what DK is. JOE!'s proportions are realistic in which he isn't failed.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Gorilla#Fears
That's why Ivysaur beats DK.

Spoiler

And tht explains why K.Rool picks on the Kongs.

 

[adumbrodeus]

Adum, dk isnt lolphail, you took the comment i made about how big his arms would be and scewed it.

His arms are that size becaus eh himself is a giant-****ing-ape. In all appearances he has been like 6foot tall at the LEAST when on all fours, that would mean his arms would be as long as Roy is tall.

Speaking of Roy's height, I was comparing him to his buddies: Martha nd Ike, who are about the average Male height, maybe a few inches on marth, putting them at about 6foot. Roy is shorter than both of these guys, and doesnt display lanky proportions, so his arm length would be in the relm of just a bit over 2ft.

edit:

if you want adum, I could just be overly realistic and go down the route mentioned many times that would leave us with just like, Snake, Squirtle and diddy kong as the only viable guys.

The thing is his arms and legs are noticeably different in proportion in every single picture. Whereas his legs maintain about the same proportions.


No matter what he is, that ratio is what causes him there problems.


I mean, he is viable, but he's certainly not an upper tier character and is not gonna beat for example, any of the sword-users (except MK...). He's just lol-compared to what he was considered before.


And if you can do it for every character, fine. We've been finding issues with a lot of the latters lately, I see no problem with this.

@ Diddy Kong, JOE!, and Adum
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Gorilla#Description
That's what DK is. JOE!'s proportions are realistic in which he isn't failed.

Look at it's legs, they're slightly longer and a lot and more muscular. The belly is also larger and the arms are considerably thinner.


All together the result of this is to make it have a far more centralized weight pattern then DK (aka what kills him).

 

[JOE!]

http://img.youtube.com/vi/N3XzOijsAN8/0.jpg

if you wanna pull out his proportions, look at his appearance in his most Iconic (even moreso than the original DK) game.

his legs are almost the size of his arms there

 

[adumbrodeus]

http://img.youtube.com/vi/N3XzOijsAN8/0.jpg

if you wanna pull out his proportions, look at his appearance in his most Iconic (even moreso than the original DK) game.

his legs are almost the size of his arms there

That's not a giant ape...

 

[JOE!]

have you seen him next to Rambi the Rhino?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nG0TxDYfjA

in all other media, compared to humans such as mario, peach/pauline, etc, he is shown to be quite large, towering over peach/pauline (who are about 6foot themselves if mario is 5foot), and being their height while on all fours.

Diddy in this is oddly big, but that may be a GFX limitation, in all the games after and even Cinematics I belive he is shown as much smaller next to DK

 

[REL38]

@Nova

Jeez, this is the Deadliest Brawler. Not "does this thing live in that game".

You're taking this too literal and in-depth.

Bob-ombs are living creatures.
Whether or not they follow the realistic specifications of life is a mute point.

They have been shown to walk, display emotions, blink, live in a society and reproduce.
All of your specifications cannot be canonically proven due to how minor of a character Bob-ombs serve in Nintendo games.

In fact, Mario is never shown to drink, reproduce, eat or all of the above.
Many of these things are assumed.

The fact that they can talk and live in society is proof enough that they are living.
Although they may not realistically be able to live conventionally, they are still living creatures.


Srsly, you're looking far past the fact that they show signs of life.


@JOE
Even SNES graphics were disproportionate

 

[adumbrodeus]

have you seen him next to Rambi the Rhino?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nG0TxDYfjA

in all other media, compared to humans such as mario, peach/pauline, etc, he is shown to be quite large, towering over peach/pauline (who are about 6foot themselves if mario is 5foot), and being their height while on all fours.

Diddy in this is oddly big, but that may be a GFX limitation, in all the games after and even Cinematics I belive he is shown as much smaller next to DK

Then we count his proportions from later games in general.

 

[JOE!]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXeTppGEWFs

start at 9:00

in DK 64, he is the same proportions with Diddy as he is in current games, yet he is still the same height as Rambi. Diddy seems to be chimp-sized, while DK is just massive...along with the crocodile bad-guys and giant beavers.

 

[REL38]

@Nova

They aid Mario in his quest. Pink one's Bombette. Stache' man is Admiral Bobbery.

A rich aristocrat with a wife n' kid. Name's Bob.

His spoiled son, Bub.

 

[adumbrodeus]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXeTppGEWFs

start at 9:00

in DK 64, he is the same proportions with Diddy as he is in current games, yet he is still the same height as Rambi. Diddy seems to be chimp-sized, while DK is just massive...along with the crocodile bad-guys and giant beavers.

Ok... so we basically have no reference for his height.



Also, still got the impossibly small legs here.

 

[JOE!]

again, then look at his Donkey Kong country appearance. DK64 just gives more inidcation of his size, and Diddy's size as well. (as if his original frame in Donkey Kong next to Pauline and mario wasnt enough)

DKC shows DK has proportinal legs, the other games show he is massive, as tall as a **** rhino in fact.

 

[adumbrodeus]

again, then look at his Donkey Kong country appearance. DK64 just gives more inidcation of his size, and Diddy's size as well. (as if his original frame in Donkey Kong next to Pauline and mario wasnt enough)

DKC shows DK has proportinal legs, the other games show he is massive, as tall as a **** rhino in fact.

But it shows BEAVERS as massive as well.


A single game defying every other game is probably the worst you could do.


Overall, it says nothing except inconsistency.

 

[JOE!]

the beavers were allways big, and were explained explicitly as giant...blue...bipedal beavers.

your point?

 

[adumbrodeus]

the beavers were allways big, and were explained explicitly as giant...blue...bipedal beavers.

your point?

My point is a lack of realistic frame of reference.

 

[Nova9000]

@Nova

Jeez, this is the Deadliest Brawler. Not "does this thing live in that game".

You're taking this too literal and in-depth.

Bob-ombs are living creatures.
Whether or not they follow the realistic specifications of life is a mute point.

They have been shown to walk, display emotions, blink, live in a society and reproduce.
All of your specifications cannot be canonically proven due to how minor of a character Bob-ombs serve in Nintendo games.

In fact, Mario is never shown to drink, reproduce, eat or all of the above.
Many of these things are assumed.

The fact that they can talk and live in society is proof enough that they are living.
Although they may not realistically be able to live conventionally, they are still living creatures.


Srsly, you're looking far past the fact that they show signs of life.

Well this is coming from the person who want's to plank w/ training.
But really, I just took bombs living to another level.
And where can you find Bob-ombs in RL at?
If we take them into RL, they're bombs.
If anything, I can accept living and non-living versions of Bob-ombs.
And hey; I'm agreeing with kiling every1; I thought you'd be happy for tht. Guess not...

@Nova

They aid Mario in his quest. Pink one's Bombette. Stache' man is Admiral Bobbery.

A rich aristocrat with a wife n' kid. Name's Bob.

His spoiled son, Bub.

And all of them have explosives in them and will blow up. Point?

 

[adumbrodeus]

Ok, cut it out with the bomb-ombs guys, the requirements for something to be "alive" have been noted. Please note that viruses are not alive for example.


If we can prove they do that, in the game world they're alive.

However, I offer you a 99.99999% chance that being alive for them is unrealistic.


So you both win, because you're arguing two different things that don't contradict each other, happy?

 

[Nova9000]

So DK has bombs...

 

[adumbrodeus]

So DK has bombs...

He has oranges that magically explode.


And his posture prevents him throwing with any real force.