Okay, fine.
Before I can focus on the ignorance that abounds in Mr. Deku McJohns, Esq.'s codices, I must qualify Deku's character, his sources, and even his personal frame of mind towards me. You see, I unequivocally believe that in a matter of days, Deku's outbursts will squeeze every last drop of blood from our overworked, overtaxed bodies. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but some people believe that one day Deku's idolators will denounce Deku's inveracities. Such people are doomed to disappointment, especially when one considers that my love for people necessitates that I raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding Deku's arrogant, drugged-out declamations. Yes, I face opposition from Deku. However, this is not a reason to quit but to strive harder.
It has been revealed that Deku plans to extract obscene salaries and profits from corporations that instill distrust and thereby create a need for his aberrant views. First reaction yields that his recommendations serve no purpose other than to fuel inquisitions. A little more thought leads to the more accurate conclusion that Deku's expositors' thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be. He once had the audacity to tell me that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately diabolic. My riposte was that he will probably respond to this letter just like he responds to all criticism. He will put me down as "bleeding-heart" or "slovenly". That's his standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about him except the most fawning praise.
To get even the simplest message into the consciousness of the worst sorts of bloody-minded cretins there are it has to be repeated at least fifty times. Now, I don't want to insult your intelligence by telling you the following fifty times, but I want to provide some balance to Deku's one-sided expostulations. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because if Deku's thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, he wouldn't consider it such a good idea to convince others that bumptious politicasters are the "chosen people" of scriptural prophecy. Deku supports a wide variety of metanarratives. Some are spleeny; others are cankered. A few openly support Lysenkoism. To be honest, he is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, Deku's willingness to make a big deal out of nothing sets a new world record for brazenness.
I find Deku's cacoëthes loquendi most irritating. Think I'm exaggerating? Just ask any of the most valuable members of our community and they'll all tell you how the purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how stubborn and grotty Deku has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how prudence is no vice. Cowardice—especially his vulgar form of it—is.
Produce a large number of thoroughly wayward extravagancies, most myopic indecencies, and, above all, the most superstitious blasphemies against everything that I hold most sacred and most dear if you like, Deku, because I simply don't care. Much of his behavior is not rationally calculated to be of benefit to the confused swaggerers whom he claims to be trying to help. (Note the heroic restraint stopping me from saying that I find Deku's bons mots rather minatory.) Which brings me to my point. Deku's favorite buzzword these days is "crisis". He likes to tell us that we have a crisis on our hands. He then argues that the only reasonable approach to combat this crisis is for him to marginalize and eventually even outlaw responsible critics of postmodernist devil-worshippers. In my opinion, the real crisis is the dearth of people who understand that Deku claims to have data supporting his assertion that obstructionism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society. Naturally, he insists that he can't actually show us that data—for some unspecified reason, of course. My guess is that he's hiding something. Maybe he's hiding the fact that many people have witnessed him convict me without trial, jury, or reading one complete paragraph of this letter. Deku generally insists that his witnesses are mistaken and blames his gin-swilling double standards on the most brainless wheeler-dealers you'll ever see. It's like he has no-fault insurance against personal responsibility. What's more, Deku may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider him to be a weapon of mass destruction himself.
Deku wants to create a Frankenstein's monster. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Deku's gossamer grasp of reality. His morals serve as a stepping stone to world government. And who will compose that world government? A ruling class consisting of stultiloquent, obtuse jackanapes and dissolute scroungers. It is true that he wishes he could buy "ethnic cleanser" at the grocery store, but society must soon decide either to place a high value on honor and self-respect or else to let Deku rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity. The decision is one of life or death, peaceful existence or perpetual social fever. I can hope only that those in charge realize that Deku once said that he knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. Oh, please. I'm just glad I hadn't eaten dinner right before I heard him say that. Otherwise, I'd probably still be vomiting too hard to tell you that Deku plans to subject human beings to indignities. The result will be an amalgam of overweening ruffianism and contentious communism, if such a monster can be imagined.
Please don't ask me to promote group-think attitudes over individual insights. I simply can't do that. It's not just that smarmy grizzlers have traditionally tried to piggyback on substantive issues to gain legitimacy for themselves but also that someone has been giving his brain a very thorough washing and now Deku is trying to do the same to us. Mark my words: his pleas are based on hate. Hate, immoralism, and an intolerance of another viewpoint, another way of life. Deku presents one face to the public, a face that tells people what they want to hear. Then, in private, he devises new schemes to pit the haves against the have-nots.
One need not look any further than Deku's viperine maneuvers to see that the cardinal rule of Deku's pronouncements is that intrusive parasitism is the only thing that matters. He vehemently denies that, of course. But he obviously would because he has no discernible talents. The only things Deku has definitely mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose he's also good at convincing people that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician's magic hat, but my point is that I defy the mutinous annoying-types who deflect attention from Deku's unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent. If I didn't sincerely believe that some of Deku's lickspittles once admitted—after considerable tergiversation—that yes, he had secretly plotted to shatter other people's lives and dreams, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. Isn't it interesting which questions Deku dodges and what tangents he goes off on? Those dodges and tangents make me think that Deku used to be a major proponent of collectivism. Nowadays, he's putting all of his support behind mercantalism. As they say, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
Due to the power relationship between the dominator and the dominated, Deku's mentality reminds me of the stereotypical bureaucrat who cannot function unless he can "find it in the manual". Get that straight, please. Any other thinking is blame-shoving or responsibility-dodging. Furthermore, name-calling and a general lack of respect for the opinions of others are a clear indication of insecurity. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Deku in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that some people have said that the grossly fallacious reasoning behind Deku's invectives can be confirmed by some simple fact-checking. Maybe. But I'm more inclined to believe that besides being blatantly sexist towards the female gender, Deku is completely shallow. So what's the connection between that and Deku's ballyhoos? The connection is that mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for him. If we feel helpless, Deku is energized and ramps up his efforts to damage the self esteem and physical health of millions of young men and women.
I have the following to say to the assertion that it's okay if Deku's taradiddles initially cause our quality of life to degrade because "sometime", "someone" will do "something" "somehow" to counteract that trend: Baloney! The whole premise of Deku's hijinks is false, and his arguments are specious at best. I indisputably want to talk about the big picture: I have never read anything Deku has written that I would consider wise, logical, pertinent, reasonable, or scientific. His statement that he is beyond reproach is no exception. What's more, he has been trying for quite some time to convince us that he has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. I suggest he take this rotting ordure and dump it where he and his fellow goofy perverts congregate. At least then we could protect the interests of the general public against the greed and unreason of the most mawkish grafters you'll ever see without having to worry that he will make self-satisfied fault-finders out to be something they're not. Summa summarum, Mr. Deku McJohns, Esq.'s publicity stunts turn the stomachs of those who know even a little about the real world.