Ted, I'm having doubts about going to Canberra ever since I got back from the mechanic. This is hard to say, mostly because I'm still coming to terms with the chain of horrible implications that one new fact brings about. The mechanic said something along the lines of, "the clutch is close to breaking point; could you drive it to Canberra? I probably could, but it'd need a new clutch as soon as the car got back. The fact is, one small slip up while changing gears could leave you stranded in Canberra." Now even after hearing this I was still set on going to Canberra and taking the risk just because there'd be too many people let down if I didn't. I booked it in to be fixed this Tuesday, got home and Mum kinda freaked out about how much it was going to cost to fix. If that was her reaction, I don't want to even see Dad tonight. If I broke down in Canberra, it would cost even more to get it/me back. Great, so now I'm feeling guilty about even taking some money for the Canberra trip, plus I really need new shoes which I'm supposed to get today, like these ones are falling appart as I type this. Ok, so not this Thursday, how about next week? Then I remember that you'll both probably be in Queensland next week so no can do. On top of all this I think I'm also coming down with a cold; it's no big deal by itself, but this Thursday just looks like an even worse idea with it in consideration. There's more (I know right?), but it's enough for now if you can see that I really don't have much of a choice because of external forces that seem hell bent on making me feel dissapointed in long lost plans. I may still come round today, we'll talk then. I'm just sick of all this **** happening.