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how do i stop being shy?

halp

Smash Rookie
Joined
Jun 8, 2010
Messages
1
Link to original post: [drupal=3407]how do i stop being shy?[/drupal]



It's not really about video games but more about life. I decided to post it here since I know Smashboards has one of the most diverse communities I've ever seen.


Online: not shy at all
Offline: shy but not shy if I know the person well

If you have been my friend for years you will know that I am not quiet at all or afraid to express my emotions. When it is somebody I have never met before, I am a bit shy but I can still talk. Recently, I've met this amazing girl. She's really outgoing and likes to have fun with her friends. My problem? I get so **** shy whenever I hang out around her when she's with her friends. I get really shy when I'm in front of a crowd of people I don't know well. At first, I was shy to the very same girl but I have gotten way better at not being shy and awkward but I go back to square one when her friends are there. I don't know what gets over me. I get shy and show lack of emotions/enthusiasm. I really want to change in general not just in this situation. I can firmly say that I wouldn't be shy if she was with my friends (in fact, it gives me confidence I think because I am not shy to those whom I do talk to already). But there's some untold issues that prevent this from happening (and they're staying untold XD). When we do hang out, it's usually with a bunch of her friends and I just sit there saying nothing (makes me feel horrible). I know that to some, this situation isn't hard but to me it is; to meet people in groups with your friend and talk like you've known them for a long time. How do I overcome this? Please help.

Internet:
If you have a chat session with me you will notice that I am very enthusiastic and talkative. But then you see me in real life, I'm this shy person (not if you're my friend, though). It only happens if I haven't met you before, I know you a little or if you're a girl and I like you XD. I guess I can say that I like online because I have your attention and your attention only for that brief moment you read my IM (instead of battling it out with other people).

Phone: I am shy at first but once I get to know you I get better. Currently, when I talk to this girl, I don't feel shy at all.

P.S. I like this girl

EDIT: Here's another problem I have (it's a post on another thread).
http://www.smashboards.com/showpost.php?p=10462192&postcount=3
 

MidnightAsaph

Smash Lord
Joined
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Messages
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I don't know what to tell you. I used to be shy, but I got over it. How? My ego got big.

Maybe you should inflate your ego somehow? ^_^
 

El Nino

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This may sound stupid, but if you're the type to avoid eye contact, the first step is to look up and look people in the eye. That kind of forces both of you to acknowledge each other. Then you can follow up with something, say hi or smile or wave or whatever. That's a small way to open the door on two-way communication.

If you want to play things safe, until you get more comfortable, listen to the ongoing conversation and try to play off of it. Try some neutral questions to get the ball rolling.
 

Teran

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I don't know what to tell you. I used to be shy, but I got over it. How? My ego got big.

Maybe you should inflate your ego somehow? ^_^
Sort of this.

Just stop caring what people think.
 

MidnightAsaph

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Hey... I got nothing to say...

Link to original post: [drupal=3408]Hey... I got nothing to say...[/drupal]



The recent thread about being shy. Yeah. Well, I used to be shy. I'm not now. But I still have a problem talking to some people. Why?

I'm reserved as hell. I'm a writer that spends half his time thinking about philosophical issues and the super secret reason behind the cliffhanger in my upcoming novel.

Sure, I have a lot to say around those that share similar interests, but around a stranger or a casual friend (someone whose relationship you have with is based only on going to the same school or knowing the same people), I don't have much to say.

The main reason I can think of is that I invest all my energy into several things. Smash. Writing. Etc. I'm just not a people person. I can't really relate to other people the latest awesome performance at an MLG tourney because
 

halp

Smash Rookie
Joined
Jun 8, 2010
Messages
1
I don't know what to tell you. I used to be shy, but I got over it. How? My ego got big.

Maybe you should inflate your ego somehow? ^_^
Haha. I wish. My self-esteem is so low you can't even imagine. Thanks anyways.

This may sound stupid, but if you're the type to avoid eye contact, the first step is to look up and look people in the eye. That kind of forces both of you to acknowledge each other. Then you can follow up with something, say hi or smile or wave or whatever. That's a small way to open the door on two-way communication.

If you want to play things safe, until you get more comfortable, listen to the ongoing conversation and try to play off of it. Try some neutral questions to get the ball rolling.
Actually, I am one of those people. It's not that bad but it is a little bad when it comes to girls I like. I get super self-conscious about how my face looks for whatever reason. I will definitely try to do more eye contact.

When I listen to the conversations she and her friends have, a lot of them I feel are not neutral questionable lol. I have asked neutral questions before to get some sort of conversation out of it and I will try asking more questions.

What do you do about say lack of emotions/enthusiasm? I don't know why but that happens to me when her friends are there.

Sort of this.

Just stop caring what people think.
Well this works with people in general but not necessarily with girls you like.
 

¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯

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Apr 27, 2008
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I'm kind of the same way I guess. Like I can talk to my friends for as long as I want, but I'm always shy around new people. I try to be as friendly as possible, but I'm not the type of person who can go up to someone and become friends with them immediately.
 

halp

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Link to original post: [drupal=3408]Hey... I got nothing to say...[/drupal]



The recent thread about being shy. Yeah. Well, I used to be shy. I'm not now. But I still have a problem talking to some people. Why?

I'm reserved as hell. I'm a writer that spends half his time thinking about philosophical issues and the super secret reason behind the cliffhanger in my upcoming novel.

Sure, I have a lot to say around those that share similar interests, but around a stranger or a casual friend (someone whose relationship you have with is based only on going to the same school or knowing the same people), I don't have much to say.

The main reason I can think of is that I invest all my energy into several things. Smash. Writing. Etc. I'm just not a people person. I can't really relate to other people the latest awesome performance at an MLG tourney because
I'm kind of the same way I guess. Like I can talk to my friends for as long as I want, but I'm always shy around new people. I try to be as friendly as possible, but I'm not the type of person who can go up to someone and become friends with them immediately.
Haha I definitely have these problems too. Well, not to the extent that I can't even socialize with people but I always catch myself running out of things to say to all these people whom are my friend's friends because I know nothing of them and we are there together because of my friend. My friend knows them. I don't. :urg:
 

El Nino

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Actually, I am one of those people. It's not that bad but it is a little bad when it comes to girls I like. I get super self-conscious about how my face looks for whatever reason. I will definitely try to do more eye contact.
I used to do this thing where I would look at people over the top of my glasses. Because their faces got blurry, I felt better that way. It didn't make any sense, of course, because my face still looked to same to them. But when I started wearing contacts, I had to look at people focused, and it made me more conscious about my own face. However, not giving myself an easy way out forced me to engage them one-to-one, rather than hide.

When I listen to the conversations she and her friends have, a lot of them I feel are not neutral questionable lol. I have asked neutral questions before to get some sort of conversation out of it and I will try asking more questions.
If they start talking about something you don't know much about, it's usually safe to ask them to elaborate. Like, "Wait, so how does that work?" A lot of people can really go on and on about themselves, and if all you have to do is listen, then it's pretty easy on you.

What do you do about say lack of emotions/enthusiasm? I don't know why but that happens to me when her friends are there.
Is it that you honestly feel no emotion, or are you unable to show emotions? When you're in a group, there's this group-think going on, and it's easy to share some of the same feelings as the people around you. If you don't feel it, it could be because you're detached from them in your own mind.

If you're just not able to show emotions to them, it could be because you're self-conscious about how they would respond. Emotion is shown through body language, which is a form of communication. So if you're insecure about social situations, there may be a tendency to try to cut off that form of communication as well.

Showing emotions or enthusiasm is a way to engage people socially. So, maybe if you can get more comfortable talking to people you don't know, you'll get more comfortable showing emotions in your body language too.

Well this works with people in general but not necessarily with girls you like.
I think "not caring what other people think" is actually a sign of being comfortable with yourself. I mean, yes, you will care what certain people think of you--family and close friends, in particular. But most of us are secure around people close to us because we know that they accept us. With strangers, there's no guarantee that they'll even like us. However, choosing to be yourself regardless of their opinion is something that comes across as confidence. If you already know that this girl and you have some things in common, then being comfortable as yourself can only help you. On the other hand, lack of confidence can sometimes ruin an otherwise good image.

"Putting your best foot forward" doesn't mean changing into a different person. It just means being the best version of yourself. That's hard to do if you're not comfortable in your own skin.
 

halp

Smash Rookie
Joined
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Messages
1
I used to do this thing where I would look at people over the top of my glasses. Because their faces got blurry, I felt better that way. It didn't make any sense, of course, because my face still looked to same to them. But when I started wearing contacts, I had to look at people focused, and it made me more conscious about my own face. However, not giving myself an easy way out forced me to engage them one-to-one, rather than hide.
I will try to do more eye contact.


If they start talking about something you don't know much about, it's usually safe to ask them to elaborate. Like, "Wait, so how does that work?" A lot of people can really go on and on about themselves, and if all you have to do is listen, then it's pretty easy on you.
Okay :)

Is it that you honestly feel no emotion, or are you unable to show emotions? When you're in a group, there's this group-think going on, and it's easy to share some of the same feelings as the people around you. If you don't feel it, it could be because you're detached from them in your own mind.
No, I do feel emotions. A lot. But I have trouble expressing them. If my friend says something and makes me happy, my tone of voice seems dull. I guess I need to let "loose" and be more comfortable because I think that is where the problem lies.

If you're just not able to show emotions to them, it could be because you're self-conscious about how they would respond. Emotion is shown through body language, which is a form of communication. So if you're insecure about social situations, there may be a tendency to try to cut off that form of communication as well

Showing emotions or enthusiasm is a way to engage people socially. So, maybe if you can get more comfortable talking to people you don't know, you'll get more comfortable showing emotions in your body language too.
I guess that's the way to put it. I get really insecure when there's a bunch of people I don't know around me. But yeah, I am self-conscious about what they may think a bit and my low self-esteem sort of stops me because I might seem funny-looking. I also have this weird hate towards my voice when I try to be more enthusiastic. Yes, I'm also not that good at body communication either. I agree that if I get more comfortable with people I don't know my body language would improve. I kid you not that just the other day, my friend's friend, my friend and I were sitting at the park the other day and I wasn't saying much and she said "hey you look a little bit depressed" and I looked right at her with a blank expression and said "i'm not" and giggled a bit but in my mind I found it really funny but yet I didn't really express it. What usually happens is that I just kinda sit/stand there while she talks to her other friends and I don't say much. I very much was enjoying myself that day. I liked her company and just listening to the stuff they had to say. But I think that it's okay at times to listen instead of talking but it's not when you do it all the time.


I think "not caring what other people think" is actually a sign of being comfortable with yourself. I mean, yes, you will care what certain people think of you--family and close friends, in particular. But most of us are secure around people close to us because we know that they accept us. With strangers, there's no guarantee that they'll even like us. However, choosing to be yourself regardless of their opinion is something that comes across as confidence. If you already know that this girl and you have some things in common, then being comfortable as yourself can only help you. On the other hand, lack of confidence can sometimes ruin an otherwise good image.

"Putting your best foot forward" doesn't mean changing into a different person. It just means being the best version of yourself. That's hard to do if you're not comfortable in your own skin.
Yeah, I was kinda thinking about that too. Not caring what other people think shows that I am comfortable with who I am. I sometimes am a bit not confident in myself even though she and I have a lot of things in common. Like I said, she's really outgoing and enthusiastic and I honestly feel the same way but I have trouble expressing it. Online? No problem. =\

You have helped me so much but can you take a look at this link too:

http://www.smashboards.com/showpost.php?p=10462192&postcount=3
 

Yonder

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When i started working out, I got hotter, and felt more confident. Now that I got a nice lookin toned body, I feel that i'm worth more, and its liek everyone can sense it, and talk to me more.

Oh the compliments I receive sometimes :D. Now, I feel it's a bit crude to show off my body like some sort of person on the corner, but I try to get the chance to show it when possible to receive more compliments from girls, for example, I like to got to the pool whenever possible.

Overall, compliments make you feel great, and working out may achieve them and be more prosperous for ya. Your choice to flaunt the new body if you so aheive it or not, I feel it's worth a little more when it's shown at the right times instead off all the times trying to overdue it.
 

halp

Smash Rookie
Joined
Jun 8, 2010
Messages
1
When i started working out, I got hotter, and felt more confident. Now that I got a nice lookin toned body, I feel that i'm worth more, and its liek everyone can sense it, and talk to me more.

Oh the compliments I receive sometimes :D. Now, I feel it's a bit crude to show off my body like some sort of person on the corner, but I try to get the chance to show it when possible to receive more compliments from girls, for example, I like to got to the pool whenever possible.

Overall, compliments make you feel great, and working out may achieve them and be more prosperous for ya. Your choice to flaunt the new body if you so aheive it or not, I feel it's worth a little more when it's shown at the right times instead off all the times trying to overdue it.
Yeah, man. And besides? who doesn't like compliments? Compliments make me feel so good. I might start working out a bit.
 

CRASHiC

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You should realize that no one is judging you, because they are too busy judging themselves. That's the first thing.

Secondly, you need to love yourself before you can have healthy relationships with other people.
 

Falconv1.0

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Couple notes.

Unless you're being seriously weird as ****, anyone judging you negatively doesn't matter dude. Secondly, being yourself will get you more real friends and better girls than faking it. I mean, they might not be better looks wise but they'll have a **** brain and personality that will last when their looks start to fade.
 

Fatmanonice

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Link to original post: [drupal=3407]how do i stop being shy?[/drupal]



It's not really about video games but more about life. I decided to post it here since I know Smashboards has one of the most diverse communities I've ever seen.


Online: not shy at all
Offline: shy but not shy if I know the person well

If you have been my friend for years you will know that I am not quiet at all or afraid to express my emotions. When it is somebody I have never met before, I am a bit shy but I can still talk. Recently, I've met this amazing girl. She's really outgoing and likes to have fun with her friends. My problem? I get so **** shy whenever I hang out around her when she's with her friends. I get really shy when I'm in front of a crowd of people I don't know well. At first, I was shy to the very same girl but I have gotten way better at not being shy and awkward but I go back to square one when her friends are there. I don't know what gets over me. I get shy and show lack of emotions/enthusiasm. I really want to change in general not just in this situation. I can firmly say that I wouldn't be shy if she was with my friends (in fact, it gives me confidence I think because I am not shy to those whom I do talk to already). But there's some untold issues that prevent this from happening (and they're staying untold XD). When we do hang out, it's usually with a bunch of her friends and I just sit there saying nothing (makes me feel horrible). I know that to some, this situation isn't hard but to me it is; to meet people in groups with your friend and talk like you've known them for a long time. How do I overcome this? Please help.
The best way to get over being shy is to put yourself into social situations and, early in your experience, force yourself to talk to new people. If I've learned anything in my experience, the best way of getting over fears is to face them. I did this with spiders, snakes, heights, the dark, and social situations during various points in my life. For the dark, for example, I shut myself in the basement and turned all the lights off (there are no windows) and stayed there for several hours. This was back in middle school and, due to experiences I had as a child, being in the dark triggered full blown panic attacks and I'd usually get so stressed that I'd start to see and hear things too. It was extremelly hard to do and, in comparison, getting over my social qualms in college was a cake walk.

Go to parties and just hang out in general. Usually the best way to ease yourself into being social is not to start the conversations but get into discussions. Say your friends are talking about Brawl. They go back and forth and then you just contribute when you want to. I think this is better than starting the conversation at first is because it gives you more time to think about what you're going to say and avoids the possibility of bringing up a topic that's a complete "swing and a miss." Given what you've said, moments of silence where people don't get what you said or can't relate are incredibly awkward. You're going to have to get over this eventually but start small and work your way up. Once you no longer feel awkward being a part of discussions, you'll have less fear of starting your own.

If anything, being shy stems from being afraid that people are judging you. The truth of the matter is that people really don't care that much. You could wear a banana suit and people would barely give it any thought. People only care if your personality is abrasive. Shy isn't annoying; being loud, whining, and talking about stuff nobody cares about is. Nobody really cares what you look like unless, as said before, you whine about it or constantly draw attention to it. If you're shy, it shows that you're modest so chances are you're a pretty decent person to be around. What you have to do now is learn how to let go of that modesty a little bit.

Women generally love confident men. Confidence does not always equal arrogance and, believe me, I had the hardest time telling the difference too. You have to let go of the idea that you'll become a complete prick if you boost your confidence. Stand up straight, stick out your chest, pose in front of the bathroom mirror and say "God, I'm awesome." If you're anything like I was, I absolutely lost it the first time I did this and went into a good five minute laughing fit but overtime I saw it take effect. You don't have to believe it 100% but go ahead and humor yourself. What you think of yourself is what's important for now. If you say you're cool and you genuinelly believe it then you are. If you think you're hot despite the fact that you have acne and look like a 13 year old girl then, for God's sake, run with it. Don't worry about going overboard because people will definitely make you aware if you do cross the line with being over-the-top arrogant. Really, to be honest, you have to go to extreme measures to be so cocky that people don't even want to be around you so don't worry about it unless goes out of their way to tell you to turn it down a bit.

Think of the coolest guy you know both real and fictional. What makes them cool? What do you personally like about them? I'd recommend imitating them for awhile. When you're in public, think about their mannerisms and act out on them. "What would _____ do in this situation?" I took this advice from David DeAngelo would is widely considered one of the leading experts when it comes to dating and picking up women. He said that when he first did it, he imitated James Bond and Indiana Jones. :laugh: When I did it, I imitated two people as well.

The first was a friend I had in middle/high school. He had a girlfriend all the time, raced fast cars, was extremelly popular, and had great parties despite being almost as big of a dork as I was. Appearance wise, there was nothing unqiue about him. He didn't work out and still managed to pick up girls even when he had phases of having acne and being fat. The guy was so cool that I literally gave him permission to date girls that I had been openly interested in for months because of how shy I was. :laugh: The other was Spike Spigel from Cowboy Bebop. Cool, confident, a flirt to attractive women but kept his focus on only one, Spike was definitely a good character to imitate. Obviously, both people have their faults but just focus on their good qualities. Overtime, their good qualities will start to become your good qualities. When this happens, you can start paying attention to the good qualities that you had before but greatly undermined because of your lack of confidence. For example, I've been cooking for years but I didn't take all that much pride in it until last year.

Besides acting cool and confident, what else can you do? Whatever makes you feel better about yourself. For me, I changed the way I dressed almost entirely. I used to wear almost nothing but T-shirts with stupid sayings on them but now I wear almost dress clothes exclusively. I changed my hairstyle a little bit, started researching body language, and started experimenting with aromatherapy to find scents that appealed to not only me but women as well. (For example, the scents I mix now are sandalwood and lavender because sandalwood has a masculine scent to it that isn't overbearing like cologne and lavender because it triggers relaxation and is a favorite scent amongst a lot of women.) I started going to dances despite the fact that I still can't dance very well and other social events even if I barely knew the other people there.

Through this experience, you should keep your strengths and weaknesses in mind. Make your strengths apparent and work on your weaknesses. Don't just be yourself; be yourself, better. Imagine what you want to become and work towards that. Tell yourself that you are a sexy delicious beast and don't look back. :laugh: You have to learn when to laugh at yourself and when you really need to build yourself up. You choose to keep yourself down so if you think you're socially awkward and focus entirely on that then you are going to stay that way. Obviously, getting to a decent level of social confidence won't be easy but if you put enough effort into it you'll definitely succeed.

TL;DR version:

1. Face your fear head on and force yourself to become more social.

2. Join discussions and then work your way up to starting and leading them.

3. Stop fearing rejection; people don't care nearly as much about your quirks as you think they do.

4. Be confident. Tell yourself that you're cool even if you are a huge dork like me.

5. Choose two people (either real or fictional) you think are cool/confident and start imitating them until you're finally comfortable in your own skin.

6. Start doing things that make you feel better about yourself.

7. Don't just be yourself; be yourself, better.

8. Know when to laugh at yourself and when to build yourself up.

9. It won't be easy but don't give up.

10 Falafel is made out of chickpeas.
 

Teran

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Well this works with people in general but not necessarily with girls you like.
That's just because you're a pansy.

It may sound cliché but it is true that if they can't really appreciate you for who you are it isn't worth it. When you're yourself some girls might not appreciate it but some will, and that makes dating a lot easier if you don't have to keep up some charade etc etc.

If you get gunned down during Halo's campaign you don't ****ing quit, you respawn at the checkpoint and try again, and again, and again.

Getting ***** is like playing Halo, you might **** up the mission several times but you keep giving it a go until you finally win.
 

SuperBowser

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I used to be very shy. Social skills are learned. For most people, it isn't natural even if it seems that way. They've just been doing it more than you. Practice makes perfect. It'll be painful to begin with, but you will get better if you keep trying.

Only thing I didn't see suggested that you could try: do volunteer work by yourself or if you really have to, with one friend. Maybe a hospice or a shelter or whatever there is in your area. Otherwise get a job that forces you speak face to face with lots of people. It'll make a difference and it's useful.
 

Teran

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I just tend to fill in conversation gaps by being funny.

With obscene jokes.
 

highfive

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I'm sort of a robot. I'm not shy persay but I usually don't input in a conversation since I either don't know what the topic is about, know someone who can probably say what I want to say better, or have no interest in it. The only conversations I take an active role in are sports and weight lifting.

It really depends on what you want to be outgoing for. Do you want to meet new people or express your ideas? You could say both but it's not. Most people do it for one reason or another. If you want to meet new people just talk about things you like. Then they eventually mill around you.
 

Jim Morrison

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I started to be less shy in 2009, when I was a regular on SWF, especially when I joined the Disco Room.
Being an ***hole makes your ego a lot bigger :)! Just be careful with it.
 

Teran

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It takes many years to release the perfect ******* persona.

Or in my case it happened overnight but that's because it came naturally.


 

Jiggy

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I don't know how old you are, but if you're somewhere around 14, just wait a few years.

Being shy is something that some have to (but may not always) grow out of.


But my practical suggestion would be to take risks. Without conflict, there is never something to learn from and better yourself. Talking to people doesn't hurt you.
 

Jon Farron

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Link to original post: [drupal=3407]how do i stop being shy?[/drupal]



It's not really about video games but more about life. I decided to post it here since I know Smashboards has one of the most diverse communities I've ever seen.


Online: not shy at all
Offline: shy but not shy if I know the person well

If you have been my friend for years you will know that I am not quiet at all or afraid to express my emotions. When it is somebody I have never met before, I am a bit shy but I can still talk. Recently, I've met this amazing girl. She's really outgoing and likes to have fun with her friends. My problem? I get so **** shy whenever I hang out around her when she's with her friends. I get really shy when I'm in front of a crowd of people I don't know well. At first, I was shy to the very same girl but I have gotten way better at not being shy and awkward but I go back to square one when her friends are there. I don't know what gets over me. I get shy and show lack of emotions/enthusiasm. I really want to change in general not just in this situation. I can firmly say that I wouldn't be shy if she was with my friends (in fact, it gives me confidence I think because I am not shy to those whom I do talk to already). But there's some untold issues that prevent this from happening (and they're staying untold XD). When we do hang out, it's usually with a bunch of her friends and I just sit there saying nothing (makes me feel horrible). I know that to some, this situation isn't hard but to me it is; to meet people in groups with your friend and talk like you've known them for a long time. How do I overcome this? Please help.

Internet:
If you have a chat session with me you will notice that I am very enthusiastic and talkative. But then you see me in real life, I'm this shy person (not if you're my friend, though). It only happens if I haven't met you before, I know you a little or if you're a girl and I like you XD. I guess I can say that I like online because I have your attention and your attention only for that brief moment you read my IM (instead of battling it out with other people).

Phone: I am shy at first but once I get to know you I get better. Currently, when I talk to this girl, I don't feel shy at all.

P.S. I like this girl

EDIT: Here's another problem I have (it's a post on another thread).
http://www.smashboards.com/showpost.php?p=10462192&postcount=3
oh snap I found my clone o_O
This sounds EXACTLY like me...

Don't you hate how girls travel in flocks???
 

MidnightAsaph

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I just tend to fill in conversation gaps by being funny.

With obscene jokes.
I tend to go that route as well. Not obscene jokes though. Just jokes.

I'm sort of a robot. I'm not shy persay but I usually don't input in a conversation since I either don't know what the topic is about, know someone who can probably say what I want to say better, or have no interest in it. The only conversations I take an active role in are sports and weight lifting.

It really depends on what you want to be outgoing for. Do you want to meet new people or express your ideas? You could say both but it's not. Most people do it for one reason or another. If you want to meet new people just talk about things you like. Then they eventually mill around you.
I guess I just want to learn how to care. lol Honestly I don't talk much because I don't really care. Not much I can do about that, though. I just never seem to have the effort to really talk to someone. I guess what I'm saying is that I only talk when I have interest in something. Examples being Brawl. Not that it's the only thing I can talk about. But in a nutshell, I'd like to give a ****. And really, I just don't. People are so **** boring. lol
 

Teran

Through Fire, Justice is Served
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See the thing is, my jokes make people genuinely laugh.

And the best part is, people feel guilty about laughing at my jokes and feel they're obliged not to because of their nature, yet they do anyway.

That's how you knock some ****ing socks off.
 

Steel

Where's my Jameson?
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No seriously, don't give a ****.

Plus if you're able to win over and mingle with her friends that just makes you appear more confident and popular and more chance the certain one will like you.
 

rathy Aro

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You should realize that no one is judging you, because they are too busy judging themselves. That's the first thing.
What, no. I find it very easy to judge everyone around me while still judging myself. I assume most ppl do similarly. How could you not judge ppl? It happens effortlessly.
 

Sgt. Baker

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When i started working out, I got hotter, and felt more confident. Now that I got a nice lookin toned body, I feel that i'm worth more, and its liek everyone can sense it, and talk to me more.

Oh the compliments I receive sometimes :D. Now, I feel it's a bit crude to show off my body like some sort of person on the corner, but I try to get the chance to show it when possible to receive more compliments from girls, for example, I like to got to the pool whenever possible.

Overall, compliments make you feel great, and working out may achieve them and be more prosperous for ya. Your choice to flaunt the new body if you so aheive it or not, I feel it's worth a little more when it's shown at the right times instead off all the times trying to overdue it.
I agree with this.

See I used to be very overweight and shy. I took it upon myself that I didn't like to be shy (and overweight) anymore so I started working out. And now, well.....I'm sexy ;) (and a sense of humor lol)

Honestly I think working out is one of the biggest confindence boosters, but it can also hurt you. I can't tell you how many times I see kids go to the weight room and either not know what to do, get laughed at, or just don't see results quick enough so they stop. Don't let that hurt you man cause it will.

If you think about working out (but you don't have to idk how you look this is just a good confidence booster lol) work out with a friend- it'd be better and seem to go by quicker. :)
 

global-wolf

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I went through a phase last year where I suddenly became very self conscious of what people thought of me. I was almost paranoid. When my friends "insulted" me as a joke I wondered if they actually meant it. Even when people said nice things, I thought they were being sarcastic or had some hidden ill-intent. Then one day I stumbled across Encyclopedia Dramatica and read an article, and at first I was shocked, but then I read some more, and realized that people sometimes don't mean half the bad things they say. It slowly got better from there, and I'm no longer so self conscious (the bad kind.)

I'm not saying reading a bunch of racist articles will help you though, lol. I would suggest joining some forum that has witty/trollish posters though (this one right here is good,) and just get used to people making fun of each other. And see that they don't mean it. And try to find little faults in their posts and giggle at them, but not maliciously.

It also helps if you know you look good. Get some nice clothes, a good haircut, force yourself to work out (it's very satisfying), and if you have glasses get contacts, unless of course you think you look good in glasses. The more you like yourself, the better you'll feel :)
 

MidnightAsaph

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Bloomington, MN
See the thing is, my jokes make people genuinely laugh.

And the best part is, people feel guilty about laughing at my jokes and feel they're obliged not to because of their nature, yet they do anyway.

That's how you knock some ****ing socks off.
Why don't you throw a couple at me? Give me an example of how obscene you get. I'm not sure how to classify my humor. There's a lot of sarcasm. A lot.
 

Sgt. Baker

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Hey nothing wrong with glasses! lol jk :p

That brings up a funny thing though, because ofmy lifting and haircut (and glasses), my nickname is Clark Kent. I love my college friends lol
 

Infinite Emerald

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Imagine that the people you don't know are your friends. Like put there, (your friends), face on there, (the people you don't know), body. Voices are kinda hard, but if you just sorta look at your friends face, (on the people you don't know's body), then it really won't matter!
 

§witch

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It takes many years to release the perfect ******* persona.

Or in my case it happened overnight but that's because it came naturally.


Oh God this.

Also, buddy if you can't not give a ****, just act like you don't. It's actually a lot easier than you think. Unless you turn so red you glow and start stammering in front of her it shouldn't be an issue.
 

§witch

Smash Lord
Joined
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See the thing is, my jokes make people genuinely laugh.

And the best part is, people feel guilty about laughing at my jokes and feel they're obliged not to because of their nature, yet they do anyway.

That's how you knock some ****ing socks off.
Stop saying what I was going to say before I can.
 
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