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Houston Thread - No HOBOs and no WHOBOs. What do we do now??????????????????????????????????????????

What side event should i include in my tournaments?


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BioDG

Smash Ace
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
609
My condolences, it must have been your little boy charm, TL mains are natural pedo-bait from what I recall.
 

z00ted

The Assault of Laughter ﷼
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
10,800
I am an extremely handsome 6'2" 230-pound muscular 21-yr-old blue-eyed Caucasian adonis with a square jaw and terrific sideburns. And my nose could not be more perfect.

My hair and teeth are exquisite and my charisma factor is waaay off-the-charts!

I am fluent in 63 languages and am an excellent drummer, pianist, violinist, guitar player and vocalist; as well as an all-around great artist that can lay paint to canvas like you would not believe!

The poetry I write blends my stout intellect into such spectacular arrays of truth and beauty that mortals become weak in the knees and lose their breath as my words transport them into such delirious spheres of ecstasy that inevitably they fall writhing before me in spontaneous orgasms until (mercifully) sensory overload takes them into unconsciousness!

I also happen to be a world class mathematician and much feared chess expert, having dazzled and laid to waste hundreds of opponents from the high-rises of Singapore to the dirty slums of Sierra Leone.

I have written over 1400 important university text books and research papers and own over three-dozen homes and condominiums on every continent save for Antarctica.

I enjoy gardening as well as entertaining guests at anyone of my beautiful homes. And, too, I delight in having the world's movers and shakers over now and then to watch them obsequiously go about trying to best each other with witty comments and grandiose stories about themselves in desperate efforts to win my favor. (It is so cute to watch them try and bask in my glory in front of others, as they delude themselves in the fantasy that I could ever regard them as being anything other than what they are -- mere simpletons chucked off an uninspired cookie cutter. Suffice it to say the priceless validation they derive fills a deep need in their glory-starved souls.)

My IQ is 290 and I hold advanced degrees from MIT, Harvey Mudd, Cal Tech, Harvard, Sorbonne, Cambridge and the University of Michigan.

I am a fine wine connoisseur extraordinaire and a beyond fabulous cook and a rugged outdoors-man, to boot.

I am a magnificent conversationalist and can speak with great ease and erudition on any topic under the sun at the drop of a hat.

The depth and breadth of my knowledge of world history along with my unmatched understanding of the nuts and bolts of how the world and, for that matter, the entire universe at large works, is nothing short of staggering! (Compared to me, Isaac Newton was a mindless fool that never went past the 3rd grade.)

I am a generous philanthropist that has enjoyed donating many millions of dollars to deserving charities and causes.

I teach karate and kickboxing on occasions and am involved in esoteric research pertaining to mind reading and control, as well as telepathy and lucid dreaming.

Five months ago, I was walking out of a back alley bar in Bangladesh at three in the morning (and with a lady in each arm!) when fifteen men dressed in filthy rags and wielding razor-sharp cutlasses decided that they wanted to separate me from my $178,000 diamond-encrusted Harry Winston watch. I fought them like a man possessed, laying one well-aimed karate blow after another on them until finally they all went scurrying back to their disgusting hovels with broken noses ... while their rotted teeth laid scattered on the ground!

In another one of my adventures, I found myself stuck on an ice flow with a hungry 1,800 pound polar bear 200-miles off the Alaskan coast!

My 300 magnum Weatherby had jammed and I was left with no choice except to fight that vicious beast with my bare hands! In a blind fury of rage, I somehow managed to grab the ******* by his massive softball-size gonads and give them a couple of excruciating twists, causing him so much pain that he chose to flee in the deep, icy water rather than face what I had planned for him!

Truly, I am a man's man that commands respect.

And yet, while it is unquestionably true that my amazing splendor, talents and gifts initially astonishes everyone that has the blessing of meeting me, I, in fact, have a beautiful air of humility that soon puts the little people in my presence at ease.

At the present time I am not involved with anyone so, ladies, please feel free to send me a picture along with some words about yourselves and, when time permits, I will see if you meet my specifications and might even get back to you if you do. (Imagine how electrifying THAT would be!)

Also, ladies, I happen to be an amazing and considerate lover that has taken many lucky gals out far beyond the stars by way of exquisite techniques known only to me and which I developed as a *special* treat for you!

Lastly, just so you know, I enjoy showering my women with expensive and lavish gifts while occasionally peeling out some serious clams for them to go out and do a little power shopping now and then.
 

RT

Smash Hero
Joined
Aug 16, 2005
Messages
9,673
Location
...
NNID
Rockettrainer
3DS FC
4038-6677-8162
Tales of the Abyss 3D delayed until Feb 14 2012. Makes me sad...
 
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