ACT TWO
Homer is looking at the guns. He picks up an unloaded handgun, points it at the clerk, and pulls the trigger several times.
CLERK
Whoa! Careful there, Annie Oakley.
HOMER
I don't have to be careful, I got a gun.
The clerk takes the gun, then holds up several items in succession.
CLERK
Well, you'll probably want the accessory kit. Holster...
HOMER
Oh, yeah.
CLERK
Bandoleer.
HOMER
Baby.
CLERK
Silencer.
HOMER
Mm-hmm.
CLERK
Loudener.
HOMER
Oh...
CLERK
Speed-cocker.
HOMER
Ooh, I like the sound of that!
CLERK
(holding up a huge weapon) And this is for shooting down police helicopters.
HOMER
Oh, I don't need anything like that... yet... Just give me my gun.
He tries to take the gun.
CLERK
I'm sorry, but the law requires a five-day waiting period. We've got to run a background check.
HOMER
Five days? But I'm mad now! I'd kill you if I had my gun.
CLERK
Yeah, well you don't.
Homer walks out of the store, muttering.