Hellooooooo Geno Thread! It’s me, Lord Woomy! You may remember me from who gives a ****. Let me ask you this: Have you ever gone to a place designated as a Geno support community and been shocked and disgusted after finding out it was a place full of people who support Geno for Smash? And did you ever feel frustrated when you wanted to put them back in their place and tell them their most wanted is never coming to Smash but never had the arguing prowess to do it? Well I know I have and I’ve decided to teach you the essential skills for arguing with Geno supporters!
Hold your horses – Now, we all may just wanna go into his support communities guns blazing and immediately start telling everyone how stupid they are for thinking Geno is in, but that’s not well mannered! Instead, try to act like you’re actually a Geno supporter who has just lost faith or has come around to thinking he works better as a Mii Costume/Spirit/Irrelevant puppet so that people won’t immediately catch on to your intentions from the get go! Doing this will let you build up a false sense of trust with the community before you go on the attack, possibly gaining you some sympathy points. Whoever said being two faced was a bad thing?
Come up with a tragic backstory – Now, some may find it unbelievable that you’re somehow a Geno fan that actually doesn’t want him, but that’s where this step comes in! Come up with some phony story as to why you are physically incapable of wanting Geno in anymore. Here, I’ll give you an example: “It was a September day of modest temperature, I had just gotten done with my occupation of Redditing when I remembered a Nintendo direct was scheduled for that night and I got giddy just thinking about what was gonna be revealed. I got more hyped as I saw Banjo was releasing that night and we were getting more DLC after FP1. “Could it be Geno???” I thought… oh how foolish I was. Soon came Sakurai’s presentation that I watched so happily. Then it happened. I saw the screen go dark and Megalovania started playing. A Sans Mii Costume with Megalovania was revealed… and then my heart shattered. I saw it in Sans’ eyes… In his smile. I knew he was laughing at me… MOCKING ME. TO MY FACE, I HEARD HIM SAY “Geno will be a premium costume like me and you’re gonna have a bad time!” I began crying, I fell to the floor drenched in my own tears and sweat. Sans Undertale had deconfirmed Geno for me and I want you to avoid the same fate I met…” Fake sob stories like this one will gain you everyone’s sympathy!
Begin to go on the Attack – By now, the regulars in the community have prolly caught on to the fact that you’re full of ****, but this only allows you more leverage! Debunk all their evidence, it’s clearly fake anyway. CacoMallow = It’s been too long and I can nitpick small unimportant details that mean nothing. Mii List = been too long and dude clearly just got lucky guesses. Music take downs = Nintendo takes down unrelated music sometimes, so this can be discounted entirely. Mii costume not appearing = you know exactly how the licensing with Square works and it makes sense they didn’t include it, also they only wanted to promote DQ and you can prove it mathematically! Sakurai saying he wanted Geno = He lied, no biggie. Insiders hearing his name = clearly just for the premium Mii costume. Spirits don’t deconfirm = yes they do because I said so. Begin treating your opinions that Geno is stupid and dumb as objective fact. Make sure to use the general Smash speculation community’s opinions of his chances a basis for your argument, as we all know it’s full of unbiased folks who have gotten everything correct in the past. As we all know, the community often predicts the future and consensus absolutely matters when it comes to speculation!
Remember: False equivalencies are your friend – Remember to shoot down Geno’s chances with false equivalencies about how this is just like another time the community was wrong! Just endlessly deflect with things like Grinch and Rayman leaks were fake and never really try to come up with an actual coherent argument. Afterall, if one leak is fake, they all must be, right? … right?
Play the victim card – Oh no, were you not received well? Of course you weren’t, Geno fans are stupid. Begin taking everything as an attack or threat to make yourself seem like you got jumped by all these meanies! Use words like “toxic” or “rude” when arguing with people to really drive the point home that you were attacked after innocently coming into a support groups to **** on said character’s chances. Also call them a cult or echo chamber, because using either of those terms will gain you an insta win. People have no right to be tired of your crap as you’re entitled to the Geno community more than actual Geno fans. Crocodile tears have never been more effective!
Hope that back up arrives – By now, you’ve probably become outnumbered by Geno fans after entering the Geno community, how terrible! Thankfully for you, random people that also don’t care about Geno will compulsively check Geno communities to back you up and prove that you’re correct! Hopefully, they’ll be a bit more experienced in using these tips and tricks and you can just sit back and watch those pesky Geno fans have to deal with all the trolls you left the door wide open for.
Declare victory – Congratulations, you’ve won! You’ve proven that you are objectively correct in every way shape and form and Geno fans are now legally obligated to hate Geno and never want him in Smash (However, Geno fans are criminal scum, so they’ll probably still want him regardless). How can you tell you’ve won? Easy! When people have gotten so sick of you and stopped replying to your posts, you know that you’ve actually trolled them epic style and they’ve run out of arguments to use against you. After this, it may be a good idea to just stare at the drywall for a few days and contemplate what decisions in life got you to this moment.
And that’s it, follow this simple advice and Geno support communities will inevitably be in taters by your skills. Do this on repeat and you’ll eventually destroy the Geno community. I assure you this will be the end of them finally. And that’s it, make sure to buy my 17 volume set of books on why I think Geno is never coming to Smash (Warning: They all just say “I don’t want him” over and over for 500 pages and nothing else). Anyway, I’m off to go shopping at Walmart with no mask, wish me luck!
The family of Lord Woomy would like to inform you that uploading this post to the Geno Thread was in his last will and testament. After this, please forget that he ever existed.
