Hello there Geno Thread
It’s me, Lord Woomy! You may remember me from my work such as Big Brain Woomy and Geno Deconfirmation Pack Trademark Symbol. Well, after dying twice, I’ve been resurrected as a detective. But today, I’m taking a break from pretending to solve whatever grizzly homicide I committed this week and instead am going to teach you how to spot the difference between a real and fake leak!
First of all, let’s ask the question, where did the leak come from? Anonymous 4chan users claiming to have a source are full of bull****, subtract 5 points from the score if your leak comes from 4chan. Anonymous Discord users claiming to have a source are a beacon of truth and must not be doubted, add 5 points to your score if your leak is from Discord.
Is it a 4chan Leak that claims your large chested anime waifu is in? Forget what I said in the last question about 4chan, add 40 points to your score.
Is it an image leak? Random text posts can be difficult to verify, so trusting convincing images may feel a bit more sensical, but that’s where you’re wrong! Nintendo has a blackhole in the center of their offices that absorb any images taken in their offices upon the person attempting to exit with said image. The only cameras that are immune to this are the cameras of Samsung Galaxy S3 phones manufactured in August of 2012 for some reason. If your leak is an image leak, subtract 20 points from the score.
Is the image leak blurry? Some may say image leaks that are blurry just make a leak less likely due to the creator trying to make their forgery less debunkable but the opposite is actually true! Due to the blackhole mentioned previously, all Nintendo offices are shaking rather violently all the time from the inside! The blurrier a leak, the more likely it was actually taken in Nintendo’s offices. This is why CacoMallow is an almost unquestionable fake. Add 35 points if your leak is blurry.
How much are you able to twist a leak into saying “it got stuff right”. Did a leak say that Nintendo was planning on showing off Switch games in the next direct and then Switch games are immediately shown off in the next direct? If so, that person definitely knew something, which means they know literally everything there is to know about what happens in Nintendo, especially the next Smash Fighter. If your leak can be misshapen into claiming it got something right, add 14.5 points.
How disappointing is the leak? Disappointing leaks are almost always completely real! Nothing hype has ever been revealed for Smash, ever. Remember how so many people were disappointed in the Erdrick, Steve and Katalina rumors from November 2018 and then they soon turned out to be completely real? Obviously, any other leak that says something else disappointing is bound to be true, so stop trying to think hype things happen ever. Why would a fake leaker even bother lying about disappointing things? It’s not like we have a word for people who get off on upsetting people on the internet. If your leak is disappointing as all hell, give it 34.47 points.
Does it deconfirm Geno? If yes, stop counting your score, the leak is immediately real.
Does the person leaking it refer to themselves as an insider and claim to have “sources”? It’s incredibly unlikely anybody would ever claim that they have sources when they’re actually just pulling things out of their ass and seeing what sticks. If your leak contains the words “insider” or “source” at all, add 19.573928 points to your score.
Does it say Spirits, ATs or any other sort of thing that they added to the game 2 years ago doesn’t deconfirm? I’m sorry to say, but that means the leak is almost especially fake. Any leak that tries to claim hype things are happening are just making **** up for attention, no matter how much reason there is to believe it. None of these things will ever be getting in the game so it pretty much kills it outright. If your leak suggests any of these things don’t deconfirm, subtract 45 points.
How much do other people believe it? The validity of leaks is almost always decided by public opinion. Any leak the majority believes are almost guaranteed to be real while leaks most people think are fake are almost definitely fake. Go to informative websites such as GameFaqs if you want to really gauge proper public opinion and see how the kind and helpful community will assist you in determining whether or not a leak is real. If the majority of GameFaqs users believe your leak add 1,000 points, if they don’t then subtract 52 factorial points.
Does it follow the Weezer Rule? Every Smash speculator worth their salt has heard of the Weezer Rule, but I’ll explain for anyone new here. If a leak contains the letters to spell the name of the band “Weezer” then it is much more likely to be true than not. If your leak contains the letters to spell Weezer then add as many points as you want, if it doesn’t then subtract your age from the score.
Is the leak from a Japanese Website? Leaks from Japanese websites are almost never fake, it’s a known fact that people from Japan know more about unrevealed Smash info than the average Westerner, meaning leaks from Japan are much more likely to be real. It is also physically impossible for a Westerner to fake being Japanese and post a fake leak. If your leak originated in Japan, write an essay about the history of shoe polish, take the word count from that essay and add it to your score.
How long has it been since the leak has been posted? If the leak gives no timeframe for reveals then it gets less likely to be true every second since it was posted and doesn’t come to fruition. Leaks are much like fruit or children, sure you can keep them in your pantry for a while, but after enough time, you gotta cut your losses and throw ‘em in the TRASH. Subtract how many days it’s been since the leak was posted from your score.
Ģ̶̧̛̙̠͇̻̠͎͕͑̽̊͑͂̇̽̎̚͜ͅI̵̢̲̲͈̘̟̦̭̟̅̌̓̏̍̂́͗̾̽́V̴̮͉͉̼̦̩̝̥̎́͝Ȇ̵̝̍̓̈̔͒̑͋̈́̃͋͠͠ ̶̡͎̞͚̼͍̦͕̗͙̝͔̗͆̆̇̇̿̈́̎͜I̷̛̖̰̠̅͆̈́̽̍̋̾̀̀̋N̴͎̖̤̮̿̏͊͌̾͌̿̾͊̚̚ ̶̜͈͚̥̣̳̮̑̋̄̍͛̆͛̈́͛̐͋͜͝Ť̴͚͎͇̠̟̫̩̗̕͜O̸͍̘̹̭̾̓̏̀͊́̆̆ ̶̧̡̧̯̻̫͈̣̦̆̍̃̀̓̽́̊̑͌͝Ḻ̴̡̧̧͔͙̝̘̹̯̙̄̐̈̒̀͋̔̈́̃͛͜A̵̛̩͉̘̝̰̾͒͑̈̍͒̚͘̕͠ͅȄ̶̢̛̛͍͖̥̻̜͈̣͔̻̜̼͙̟̬Ḿ̶͎̼̟̞̤̖̖͖̲͓̗͕̩͈̓͋͐͆̓̿̂̀̈͊̕O̷̦̳̾̇̋̔̓̔̋͑N̸͖̳͇̣̼̳̘̗̦͔̯͇̬̆͑̈́̃͒͗͐̾̓̊̅̐̈́͗̚? I forgot where I was going with this one.
And finally, does the leak confirm or even just imply Geno will be added? If it does, I’m sorry but these leaks are always fake. Hype characters never ever manage to get leaked. There was never a single leak that implied Ridley or Banjo would be in Smash. Square also runs a very tight ship and nothing can ever get out from them, look at how well they hid Hero! If a leak implies Geno, it is not only fake, but it also deconfirms him again.
And that’s it! This is a perfect guide of how to tell whether or not a leak is fake! If your leak scored above 50 points, then it’s 100% confirmed, don’t even bother trying to prove it anymore, you’ve won. If your leak is anything below that, then you and your next two generations of offspring will be exiled from the Smash community forever for speculating wrong. Anyway, I’m off to go get eaten by carnivorous wildebeests! If you want to thank me, please fold up 10 dollars and shove it into the USB port of your computer as a donation.
