I won't say any more after this no matter what, but I will say this: neither of you get it at all. I never say anything to offend anyone and I'm a really nice guy unless you do something to me personally. I wish no one any ill-will, and I've had horrible things happen in me in my past, and I try my best not to judge people by their cover despite people wanting to be known by their labels nowadays. I don't care who you are or where you come from, I'll be nervous as hell around you until I feel accepted and can then relax regardless of your size, gender, age, skin pigment, sexual preference, favorite band, hair color, car model or zip code.
I would never just say something to make them feel bad, and I used to always fret about saying the wrong thing. This comes from having Asperger's and having to be raised on what is acceptable in society and what isn't in a way that most kids grab just by existing. I used to be terrified of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time so much that I never said anything at all half the time, and if I did say something, it was the most generic sounding thing ever that I fit the NPC meme that was going around a couple months or so back. I had no personality and no opinions because I was always afraid of being wrong and upsetting someone and having people be mad at me and not like me. That was nearly my entire experience of life since I was in middle school all the way through about two or three years ago.
Because of me being me and my diagnoses, I'm often repetitive and have very niche interests and can get annoying to the average joe rather quick. Sometimes I can't read the room or I can't relate or I am blunt and blurt out something that could have been worded better or maybe shouldn't have been said. I've spent my ENTIRE CHILDHOOD trying to bend to societies ever-chaning will and rules and stipulations to the point where as an adult, I had no idea what I even felt about anything. I had no personality. Even now, I still question who I am and what I want to do in life because I never focused on myself but how others saw me.
So excuse me if I finally came to the conclusion that I don't give a **** about what society thinks about me anymore and that I'll decide who I am and how I feel about things. It doesn't make me rude to people: I'm not some prick that just walks up to random people and insults them. I was raised better than that. It just means I no longer care how the average person who will have nothing to do with my life thinks about me. I no longer have to spend every waking moment worried that I might do the wrong thing or so the wrong word and be punished by being yelled out or outcast or having no friends. I'm sorry if I went through what my whole country is going through right now well before it started happening and I'm so over it already.
If I say something you don't like, instead of immediately apologizing and taking the blame, I now evaluate the situation to see if what I did was really bad or if it was just how that person felt about it. Then, I decide whether or not the circumstance matters to me. Based on that, I will either apologize for being in the wrong, or apologize that they took offense to something and let them know I meant nothing by it. If that isn't good enough, then that is officially on you.
If anyone actually reads all of this, imagine this version of me seeing so many people I care about have problems they don't even recognize, and being afraid to say anything about it, then watching them tear themselves apart. Imagine being so emotional about things and not being able to express because of not only how you were born, but also because whenever you did express yourself it was wrong. Imagine growing up in a society that doesn't even know why you are different because science and study hasn't figured it out so you get treated like EVERY OTHER mental issue did back in the day: you were strange and weird and people hated on you for it until your problem had a label, but by then the damage had already been done and you are already an adult so you have to deal with your bull**** and move on. Now imagine finally breaking free of all that garbage and finally feeling like a human being who can say things and have opinions and be okay with people not agreeing with them only to turn around and see that the culture around you has changed from your environment being just for you to a full-blown country-wide national issue that has people trying to tell everyone what they can and can't say or do.
This is why I'm passionate about this stuff. I don't want other people to feel trapped within themselves and unable to be a person. At the same time, because of my issues expressing myself AND being an adult male where generally expressing how you feel doesn't solve anything, I instead play video games to just deal with how I feel that way, and NOW it's leaking into that medium as well!