Time to complete the story.
So my college had a little gaming fest thing whatever. Smash was there, and I figured it was my time to hang around and beat kids for free. So there was this guy who wanted to 1v1 whoever won the next FFA. For whatever odd reason, this meant a team match where I assumed the two were going to fight each other. So I'm on the winner guy's team (who was actually cool people and not
totally bad) vs Mr.1v1 and some girl.
I forgot who I even picked (I think Snake), but my teammate picked Zelda, and Mr.1v1 picked Wolf. We started off and there were items still on. Mr 1v1 complained after losing a stock, calling it stupid and we had to quit out and turn 'em off.
So start second match. Mr1v1 picks Lylat Cruise, and off we go to battle. I try to leave 'em be, letting them fight while I take on the girl. BTW, girls love Lucario for Brawl, I know 3 females who play as him whenever they do. But here and there, Mr1v1 tries to attack me. I dunno if it's accidental or not or whatever. Then he starts to complain, "They're only winning because that Snake is staying back." Eh... whatever. I start acting on the Zelda's strategy of use Side B a lot and run, and I was just his personal defending force.
Then Mr1v1 starts complaining "They're only winning because of this stage and that Zelda is spamming!" While the second part was pretty true, though a still legit tactic, HE PICKED THE STAGE. I even brought it up and he said something that musta been SO bad that my brain turned off, cause I can't remember it now. But I was fed up. I sighed and just said "Look man, do you just wanna 1v1 and get this over with?" And he seemed SO happy and accepted it without question.
I lol'd
So I go good ol' Flaco. He goes Wolf again. Then he picks Eldin Bridge. Ohhh man, it was over! I'm pretty sure that's the worst level possible in a Wolf/Flaco matchup. So we start, and of course, I go in for a chaingrab. He starts crying about it right away. So I stop and just use simple approach tactics; which was a bunch of short hop attacks, mostly nairs of course. He starts complaining about me using the same moves over and over and over. I stopped caring and just fake-combo'd him, since he wasn't di-ing. They were actually pretty sexy tbh. Even his friends got in on it saying they "smelled cheese." Hoo hoo hoo!
Everything I did from then on out was cheap. He tried laser spamming. Except he did it while I was like way out of range. So I hit him with my lasers. Then I just approached with Perfect Shields. That was cheap. Seeing as he was an expert Wolf, he used Fsmash a lot. A LOT. I'd just Perfect Shield or Side Dodge to Dsmash. That was also cheap. He tried to attack out of the air. Shield to grab. That was cheap too.
Note, I didn't use run away laser tactics, SH Phantasms, or even my reflector once. Nor did I chain grab him off the edge of the stage like he deserved to be.
Here's a list of things I said during the match
"That's not cheap"
"No, you're just not that good."
"Then get better."
"I'm trying to let you know that you aren't that good."
"There's people who easily beat me in this state, you aint jack."
"Why don't you be cheap then?"
"You can do things too besides attack."
"Check out Smashboards.com. There's a Colorado thread of people who play Brawl. Wait, no there isn't."
The girl seemed amused by this guy getting beat the hell up by me, even though she started the match backing him up saying I'm gonna lose.
So I hilariously won and he was hilariously salty. Then he lost the next FFA to my Metaknight. MY METAKNIGHT. I know I'm one of the best Metaknights in state along with Tim, but he, and everyone else, lost to it. And he was on my *** too. Yay for Metaknight Dsmashes!
Either way, that is all. GG college kids, may you be less nerdy in the future.