Being In Love/Advice

[JonaDiaper]

Lol don't go for the cheexssy lines. but Defs ask her for the number. Depending on what you do for fun, ask her out to something that you like doing. just like if she's a party girl (Wouldn't touch those if i were you...) don't invite her to a party jsut because you knwo she likes to party, do it because you think it's fun too.

Ahem, Get her number first and work from there but heed those words. if you pretend your something your not for a girl your just asking for trouble right then and there.
this has no relation to you what so ever but it's free advice

what yo son cheesy lines are awesome..
if you got the right looks/voice they were like a charm bro

and werd like he said NEVER pretend to be someone your not, be open, be yourself, or else if you end up going out for a while she'll find out your not who she thought you were and things could go down the tube

 

[Chaco]

I was directed here, honestly I've never noticed this. Lol.

I wrote a blog last night, just to vent out about things.

 

[Cherry64]

I was directed here, honestly I've never noticed this. Lol.

I wrote a blog last night, just to vent out about things.

you've already heard my 2 cents but post a link in here and maybe we can help you out, Or forward it to Jam, if he has time he might be able to help, He's pro :D

 

[Chaco]

I thought Jam was a girl. o_O

 

[Jam Stunna]

I thought Jam was a girl. o_O

You're lucky I can't infract you!

 

[Chaco]

My bad! Someone told me you were before, lol.

 

[Jam Stunna]

My bad! Someone told me you were before, lol.

Tell me who so I can infract them!

 

[Chaco]

It was back in May! I don't remember tbh. It's just been stuck in my mind that you were, lol.

 

[Cherry64]

I giggled at that one. Hahaha
chaco you mminazwel put an end to this spam and ask him for help noa lolzz

 

[Chaco]

Help me Jam, who is not womanly in any manner. Please. ^-^

 

[Skrah]

Chaco, how long have you been mod?

 

[IC3R]

Must've happened a few hours ago~

He wasn't a mod when we were messing around in his new blog~ (around 4 pm)

 

[Jam Stunna]

Help me Jam, who is not womanly in any manner. Please. ^-^

Thy will be done!

 

[LordoftheMorning]

Quite honestly Jam I also thought you were a chick a few months ago. I realized the error of my ways long ago, and so you cannot possibly infract me.

 

[Jam Stunna]

What have I done to give the impression that I'm a woman?

 

[Chaco]

What have I done to give the impression that I'm a woman?

Gotta say, your feminine avatar didn't help a few months ago.

Some people get the idea that others look like their avatars.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Well, being a black guy, I guess I'm glad I have my current avatar.

 

[LordoftheMorning]

Probably because you're always so chilled out and there's like 0% ***hole in anything you say. And the old avatar I guess too, but the way you think/post seems to contribute. I'm not calling you unmanly or anything, mind you. You're probably one of the nicest people on the boards.

 

[Cherry64]

Aren't you gurls supposed to be crackin' down on spam? lol

I thought you were a girl at first too Name made me think of it, I learned Iwas wrong when me and Straked were talking to you when you gave us **** for spamming blogs... gues sI dind't learn eh?

 

[DarkLouis331]

Wow...hearing all these stories, I feel so far behind. Relationships are like rocket science to me and they're one of, if not my biggest failure. I'm turning 19 in a week and still no kiss yet, and I've been in 2 relationships, which I ended up hurting myself in. (The sad thing is that I'm pretty attractive based on what others have said and what I think =/) I do believe in myself for being able to succeed at most anything I do like school, music, and video games, but my personality sucks. If there's one thing I've learned, girls hate quiet guys. (Which I'm one of) Not to mention I'm indecisive, and I'm terrible at developing 1 on 1 relationships, even with my best friends...I do have mild-moderate social anxiety in those situations.

I just focus so much on the bad parts of myself. How can a socially awkward, reserved, introverted, picky-when-it-comes-to-girls guy like me last in a relationship for like a year or more? How can a girl really like a guy whose passion is video games and whose dream is to become a pro gamer in the MLG or whatever? They hate that stuff.

Yet the girls I know think I'm amazing for my talent on the trombone, my honesty, intellect, free-running abilities (lol) and selflessness. Which I know are all good traits about myself, I just don't trust them.

I just don't know what's holding me back. What can I say? My heart's been hardened. Even though it's been 2 years, I've gotten over both my exes, but I haven't forgiven myself for what happened when those relationships ended. (Long story, but they were both bitter endings) Friends have blabbed to girls that I've liked them, and another girl that I almost got in another relationship with (who is my best friend btw) told me that she liked me one night, and said the whole thing felt awkward the next day. Then asked a few weeks later why I didn't call her. >.<

So yeah...girls (and my own mind) have mindf***** me ALOT in life. Part of me just doesn't care and thinks that I will be fine single. With that, I can focus all my energy on myself and my friends/family and become a super-awesome talented person without having to worry about kids and whatnot. The other part isn't ready to give up on relationships yet, its just that there is so much I need to fix and figure out about myself.

Sorry if that made no sense, I feel the compelling need to vent about this topic sometimes.



Yeah...I'm weird and f***** up.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Part of me just doesn't care and thinks that I will be fine single. With that, I can focus all my energy on myself and my friends/family and become a super-awesome talented person without having to worry about kids and whatnot.

Bingo!

Don't worry about girls, they'll come eventually.

 

[Skrah]

Have more confidence in yourself, and don't let those types of things bother you. Sooner or later a girl you really like will come along, so in the meantime just chill.

 

[LordoftheMorning]

Wow...hearing all these stories, I feel so far behind. Relationships are like rocket science to me and they're one of, if not my biggest failure. I'm turning 19 in a week and still no kiss yet, and I've been in 2 relationships, which I ended up hurting myself in. (The sad thing is that I'm pretty attractive based on what others have said and what I think =/) I do believe in myself for being able to succeed at most anything I do like school, music, and video games, but my personality sucks. If there's one thing I've learned, girls hate quiet guys. (Which I'm one of) Not to mention I'm indecisive, and I'm terrible at developing 1 on 1 relationships, even with my best friends...I do have mild-moderate social anxiety in those situations.

I just focus so much on the bad parts of myself. How can a socially awkward, reserved, introverted, picky-when-it-comes-to-girls guy like me last in a relationship for like a year or more? How can a girl really like a guy whose passion is video games and whose dream is to become a pro gamer in the MLG or whatever? They hate that stuff.

Yet the girls I know think I'm amazing for my talent on the trombone, my honesty, intellect, free-running abilities (lol) and selflessness. Which I know are all good traits about myself, I just don't trust them.

I just don't know what's holding me back. What can I say? My heart's been hardened. Even though it's been 2 years, I've gotten over both my exes, but I haven't forgiven myself for what happened when those relationships ended. (Long story, but they were both bitter endings) Friends have blabbed to girls that I've liked them, and another girl that I almost got in another relationship with (who is my best friend btw) told me that she liked me one night, and said the whole thing felt awkward the next day. Then asked a few weeks later why I didn't call her. >.<

So yeah...girls (and my own mind) have mindf***** me ALOT in life. Part of me just doesn't care and thinks that I will be fine single. With that, I can focus all my energy on myself and my friends/family and become a super-awesome talented person without having to worry about kids and whatnot. The other part isn't ready to give up on relationships yet, its just that there is so much I need to fix and figure out about myself.

Sorry if that made no sense, I feel the compelling need to vent about this topic sometimes.

Yeah...I'm weird and f***** up.

I can relate with you. I'm attractive from what I've heard, and awkward with the social anxiety thing. It's gotten a bit better recently. There's nothing wrong with being a late bloomer. Every male in my family is.

I guess what always gets me thinking about relationships is all the hope I have for what might be (unfortunately, I've a pretty small initiative when it comes to this sort of thing). I do know that I definitely want to get married at some point. I don't think I could stand living a single life once I'm past my thirties or so (I'm 16 now).

Continue to be quietly awesome and then one day someone will notice and love you for it. That's what I would say, and I hope it's true.

I have a question. Do you guys think it's a good idea to ask out a girl that you hardly know? What about a girl that you've had a few conversations with, but still don't know very well? Is there an optimum level of acquaintance-ship for asking someone out? I've heard some people say that they can't stand going out with people they've already known for years. Just wanted to know why this might be. It's probably different for each person.

 

[Cherry64]

Bingo!

Don't worry about girls, they'll come eventually.

But what if we are uglyzz lol? then the girls rarely come.
EDIT: man it helps to read the post. Uhh, yeah confidence, you may be a good looking guy but girls don't just go for that, They go for personality, and what I've found is that you DON'T have to be a douche, just stick to your principles. Also the less you like them the more they will like you :\ to a certain extent

 

[Miggz]

Well I'm still single, and I'm still enjoying life.

So I'm just existing really, having good times with family/friends.

I'm I'll meet the right girl someday.

...Just have to be patient.

 

[Cherry64]

I have a question. Do you guys think it's a good idea to ask out a girl that you hardly know? What about a girl that you've had a few conversations with, but still don't know very well? Is there an optimum level of acquaintance-ship for asking someone out? I've heard some people say that they can't stand going out with people they've already known for years. Just wanted to know why this might be. It's probably different for each person.

Lolz a reason that comes to mind is you know them too well. It feels weird to date them. I dislike dating people I've known for years unless I didn't really see them regularly. if I didn't see them regularly the physical attraction woudln't be there so I wouldn't want to date them. what have you got to lose if you ask her? do you like her enough to want to date her?

EDIT: that's a good way to look at it Miggz

RE EDIT: what chaco said

 

[Chaco]

I have a question. Do you guys think it's a good idea to ask out a girl that you hardly know? What about a girl that you've had a few conversations with, but still don't know very well? Is there an optimum level of acquaintance-ship for asking someone out? I've heard some people say that they can't stand going out with people they've already known for years. Just wanted to know why this might be. It's probably different for each person.

Well it's dependent on the phrase ask out here. If you mean just like on a date, go for it. Their purpose is to get to know the girl better.

 

[MoblinMan]

Ok.

So I need help with another step further along. You've met a girl, and you've got her facebook and everthing.

How do you tell if you REALLY like her, she's the *one.*

Because I am very confused. I've like different girls throughout my life, but this one is by far the most attractive to me.

 

[Chaco]

Well one you don't tell them by facebook that's for sure. Your dropping that bomb do it face to face. And your basing by looks, not good. I've been down that route. Looks are a good thing to have but not when they are shallow *****es. But I'm sure shes not.

But as I said, face to face. Don't stutter, act nervous, or any of that ****. Be strong, and confident. But not to confident.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Well one you don't tell them by facebook that's for sure. Your dropping that bomb do it face to face. And your basing by looks, not good. I've been down that route. Looks are a good thing to have but not when they are shallow *****es. But I'm sure shes not.

But as I said, face to face. Don't stutter, act nervous, or any of that ****. Be strong, and confident. But not to confident.

He meant, "How do I tell if I like her", not "How do I tell her I like her".

Honestly MoblinMan, only you can answer that question.

 

[MoblinMan]

**** it.

So do I go for the Gatsby Kiss or what?


She's a lot older than I am. I'm aware that I'm going against society's laws by doing it, but I think if I ever gave up on getting close to her; it would only be because I've given up on everything else.

By attractive, Chaco, I didn't really mean physically all that much. The grounds upon which we first met were intellectual in the first place. I'd give up courting her for the rest of my life if I could just meet her every Sunday like we're doing right now. That doesn't stop me from looking at celebrities and quietly whispering to myself "She's so much prettier than that. What are people thinking?"

Thank you for the advice guys, and so quickly too. So Jam Stunna, this might be the question I have to ask myself:

Do you have to think you love someone first, and then realize your mistake before you can recognize your true attraction to a woman? Or is it otherwise?

She's NOT the first girl I've been attracted to, but she's definitely the one with whom I have felt the absolute happiest.


I know this is the internet, but if someone has "personal experience" with this, it could give me some insight into what I need to do next.

Sorry for the lengthy post, and thank you for the advice.

 

[Cherry64]

Ok.

So I need help with another step further along. You've met a girl, and you've got her facebook and everthing.

How do you tell if you REALLY like her, she's the *one.*

Because I am very confused. I've like different girls throughout my life, but this one is by far the most attractive to me.

Man, if someone could Give you a straight answer for that, he'd be like god or Jesus or something.

there's no way to tell, you just have to either have faith, or get a different girl.

 

[Chaco]

Jam, I actually have a problem to now. For some reason, after I pushed the thoughts of ever being with her from my mind. I instantly got depressed, and just felt I'd never find someone that made me feel that way. Now I'm just mopey and blegh. So really, I have no clue what to do.

 

[Cherry64]

Jam, I actually have a problem to now. For some reason, after I pushed the thoughts of ever being with her from my mind. I instantly got depressed, and just felt I'd never find someone that made me feel that way. Now I'm just mopey and blegh. So really, I have no clue what to do.

first off, I know I'm not jam, but Jam can't help EVERYONE. He 's busy

If you want to listen to my thoughts on that here they are.

That usually happens after a crush ends and you getting shut down, but as you dind't get shut down I assume it's just the crush ending.
what your experiencing now would be like 10 times worse if you dated the girl and then broke up after however long you dated for.
I know it sucks man, but it's probably for the best. Just my thoughts.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Thank you for the advice guys, and so quickly too. So Jam Stunna, this might be the question I have to ask myself:

Do you have to think you love someone first, and then realize your mistake before you can recognize your true attraction to a woman? Or is it otherwise?

She's NOT the first girl I've been attracted to, but she's definitely the one with whom I have felt the absolute happiest.


I know this is the internet, but if someone has "personal experience" with this, it could give me some insight into what I need to do next.

Sorry for the lengthy post, and thank you for the advice.

I'm not sure what you're asking. Are you saying that you have to think you're in love before you realize that you're actually not?

Jam, I actually have a problem to now. For some reason, after I pushed the thoughts of ever being with her from my mind. I instantly got depressed, and just felt I'd never find someone that made me feel that way. Now I'm just mopey and blegh. So really, I have no clue what to do.

It's okay, you'll feel that way for a while, and it's perfectly normal. You'll get over it eventually, it's just a matter of time. I've found the best way to speed up that process is to force yourself to interact with other people. The last thing you may want to do is get back out there, but it will make you feel better.

Remember, don't let your emotions control you. You may feel like you'll never meet anyone else like her, but we all know that's not factually accurate. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of women out there who you can be totally happy with, and they won't give you the same problems that this one did.

 

[Heartz♥]

Holy Girugamesh, Batman-san. This blog is busy.

My love story is a bit different. It wasn't a magical dance at the prom, or a romantic letter, or a random ask out to the movies. I fell in with someone because their main focus was to help me when I was pretty much mentally broken. I wasn't the preppiest chick, and he wasn't the hottest guy. But him showing so much care when nobody else did is what attracted me to him. And having similar interests made it a bit easier for us to relate to each other. (Video games, anime, manga, etc.)

Many people are always trying to make that extra step in seeking love, and they most likely will trip. But even if you fall, you can get right back up and try again. No man can have just any woman, and no woman can have just any man. Life isn't a romantic comedy. Looks are definitely not everything, I can tell you that right now. So what if you are a geeky, shy otaku with Asperger's? There are people that like that, though very few.

People have a habit of aiming for the more pretty ones, but if you put yourself in their shoes, wouldn't you think they get enough attention as it is? I say stray away from those types. Those are the type of girls/guys you DON'T want to be involved with.

This may have been said countless times, but there is someone out there for everyone. And just because you dont have them now, doesn't mean you wont eventually.

 

[Cherry64]

Holy Girugamesh, Batman-san. This blog is busy.

My love story is a bit different. It wasn't a magical dance at the prom, or a romantic letter, or a random ask out to the movies. I fell in with someone because their main focus was to help me when I was pretty much mentally broken. I wasn't the preppiest chick, and he wasn't the hottest guy. But him showing so much care when nobody else did is what attracted me to him. And having similar interests made it a bit easier for us to relate to each other. (Video games, anime, manga, etc.)

Many people are always trying to make that extra step in seeking love, and they most likely will trip. But even if you fall, you can get right back up and try again. No man can have just any woman, and no woman can have just any man. Life isn't a romantic comedy. Looks are definitely not everything, I can tell you that right now. So what if you are a geeky, shy otaku with Asperger's? There are people that like that, though very few.

People have a habit of aiming for the more pretty ones, but if you put yourself in their shoes, wouldn't you think they get enough attention as it is? I say stray away from those types. Those are the type of girls/guys you DON'T want to be involved with.

This may have been said countless times, but there is someone out there for everyone. And just because you dont have them now, doesn't mean you wont eventually.

finally, A woman's input! now I'ma go read what i just quoted
EDIT: I wonder what jam thinks of that. I say that everyone is shallow, it's how we are sadly. Stupid society.

 

[Jam Stunna]

I agree with most of it, except for the part about avoiding pretty people. I don't know where that whole thing started, and the converse, that non-pretty people are nicer is even more absurd.

I've never liked an ugly chick, and I say that without shame. I think my wife is beautiful, and I don't mean in the hokey "beautiful soul" way. I mean that I think she's gorgeous, and I would have never talked to her if I didn't find her physically attractive, no matter how amazing her personality is. Ugly people make good friends, but that's about it.

Everyone throws around the phrase "Looks aren't everything" so much that it has lost all meaning. It doesn't mean unattractive people make better partners, it means that good looks do not necessarily make up for other deficiencies, like a poor personality. The opposite is true as well: a great personality won't change the fact that you're ugly, if you are.

Great looks and a great personality are not mutually exclusive. Go for the complete package in a partner. Liking pretty people does not make you shallow.

 

[Nelo Vergil]

I agree with most of it, except for the part about avoiding pretty people. I don't know where that whole thing started, and the converse, that non-pretty people are nicer is even more absurd.

I've never liked an ugly chick, and I say that without shame. I think my wife is beautiful, and I don't mean in the hokey "beautiful soul" way. I mean that I think she's gorgeous, and I would have never talked to her if I didn't find her physically attractive, no matter how amazing her personality is. Ugly people make good friends, but that's about it.

Everyone throws around the phrase "Looks aren't everything" so much that it has lost all meaning. It doesn't mean unattractive people make better partners, it means that good looks do not necessarily make up for other deficiencies, like a poor personality. The opposite is true as well: a great personality won't change the fact that you're ugly, if you are.

Great looks and a great personality are not mutually exclusive. Go for the complete package in a partner.

That seems shallow. Its perfectly fine that your love is part personality/looks, but honestly in the end doesnt it matter at the mental and emotional bond 2 people share, looks help sure, but saying that if there ugly physically you couldnt love them is beyond shallow and stupid. Your other points are very true, but lets be honest, in the end its personality and emotional bond that makes a life long relationship, looks doesnt matter long term, its just icing on the cake called love.

inb4cakeisalie

 

[Halaster]

That seems shallow. Its perfectly fine that your love is part personality/looks, but honestly in the end doesnt it matter at the mental and emotional bond 2 people share, looks help sure, but saying that if there ugly physically you couldnt love them is beyond shallow and stupid. Your other points are very true, but lets be honest, in the end its personality and emotional bond that makes a life long relationship, looks doesnt matter long term, its just icing on the cake called love.

I don't think people go into relationships with people they consider "ugly." A lot of it is that people differ over what "beauty" is. It isn't objective. I doubt that anyone would marry or go into a relationship with someone they felt was ugly. But someone I might think is ugly, another may not, and the opposite is true as well.

Obviously, Love isn't looks alone. But I doubt the relationship would become a "Love relationship" if the looks and the personality weren't there.