Being In Love/Advice

[JonaDiaper]

Link to original post: [drupal=719]Being In Love[/drupal]


I see alot of views but only a few posts. if you wanna just tell how you fell in love or you wanna ask questions or just ask for advice, post in here. I would like to help anyone who would receive it.



To the people that feel the will never find love/hopeless:

Do you think your the only one to go through this?

how many people on here said they were hopeless to but they came along?

what makes them different then you? nothing.

everyone will find love as long as they look for it.

girls arent just gonna come up to you with the same intrests and be like

"hey wanna be my man/woman?"

it may be a trial and error type of thing, and you might lose people

you "loved" but when you find the right one, you'll realize you have never loved

until you found that person. no one should be hopeless.

God has someone here for everyone.

To the people in a relationship/happy/doing well:


if you honestly feel that the person you have is the perfect one for you,

dont ever let that person go. dont YOU be the one the breaks up if anything

happens. if you love that person so much, change everything about you to

make that person happy. alot of people are gonna say "changing yourself is blah blah

blah" but those are the people that have never been in love. i always said i

wouldnt change myself for anyone. and now i have a girl of 1 year and

i can say that ive changed about 65% of my life for her.

it just kinda happens. but man it makes the relationship go smooth.

just do everything to make it work. and unless you get cheated on/ similar things

dont break up with her/him. fights happen all the time.

i get into like 13842962389 fights with my girl a month. but you know what? 5 seconds

after each fight were already telling eachother were sorry and that we love eachother

and we wonder how that fight happened. dont keep any grudges on your

girl/boyfriend. and if you have some, talk to them about it, or else it will escalate

and youll be left alone.




Someone asked what is love anyways?

to me love is the most amazing feeling you can ever feel.

sex is nothing but the deepest expression of love.

as long as you dont do it just to do it, if you go around doing that,

your ********. if you lost you virginity to the person you didnt marry

wont you feel stupid? i mean, virginity is a one time shot. its something special you

can give to your partner and they can give it back. wont you wish you would have

saved yourself for them instead the guy/girl you havent seen in 4 years?

im not saying not to do it before you get married but

if you do, make sure your gonna stay with that person.

almost everyone regrets not being able to give their

life-partner their virginity. dont just have sex to have it.

back on topic. love is something you cant really decscribe. its just that

amazing. its like the only feeling that has feelings in side it, an assortment of feelings.

happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, pain, kindness, and just about anything else

you can never know what it is unless you experience it for yourself

trust me. there is nothing better. but only you can find it out.

dont waste your time talking about how there is no love,

because obviously for the people have experienced it, it is very very real.



wow. amazing isnt it? its amazing how it can bring you the saddest of sad in your heart but at the same time bring you the happiest happy feeling. i dont understand how some guys can treat a girl so terribly. as if they were nothing to them but a thing to satisfy their desires and pleasures. thats disgusting. guys like that need to think about what their doing. if they ever plan on settling down anytime in their lives they need to make a big change thats gonna be pretty hard to make.

i swear everytime i talk about how long ive been with my girlfriend (a year) other guys say "nah you gotta be a player" and thats just sick.

have you ever been in love? ever been in love so deeply every second of your life spent away from your partner is torture? ever just look into the sky and picture her face there? ever just write pages and pages to them about how much you love them and not give it to them? ever just look at every other girl there is around and be like, my girl is so much better/prettier/everything?

being in love is serious business. i mean if you just pretend to be in love, and then your partner is in love but then you get what you want and just randomly break up with them, things could get serious.

suicide threats/threats to you or your fam/ and a bunch of other crazy stuff.

do yourself and the world a favor. find a girl thats just right for you, and just love her like crazy. this world is full of guys that are just out to get laid. and that pisses me off. i can truly say ive never meet someone in person that could speak to me about love. how can there be no one in love? love is awesome. if you use it correctly.

ever just want to vent on how deeply your in love? or how you wish you could find it? or anything having to do with love?

well im no love expert but, i know what it feels like to be in love and what its like to just think your in love.... my friend calls me Hitch Roman/(last name is Roman) im good with advice on relationships and advice in general.

responses/questions/anything let me know

hopefully this gets a little active.

 

[mzink*]

I went through about the deepest depression I've ever been in when my husband was deployed. Then I became emotionally numb. Then I sort of built a concrete wall around my heart that my husband had to chizzle his way through 6 months later when I saw him again. We still aren't back the way we started, but we are getting there I guess. Yes love does all kinds of crap to you lolz.

 

[JonaDiaper]

I went through about the deepest depression I've ever been in when my husband was deployed. Then I became emotionally numb. Then I sort of built a concrete wall around my heart that my husband had to chizzle his way through 6 months later when I saw him again. We still aren't back the way we started, but we are getting there I guess. Yes love does all kinds of crap to you lolz.

sorry to hear that he had to be deployed. but someone has to do it. be glad he came back safe.

i know it was hard but i think you should drop that wall pretty quickly

if it was hard for you i can assume it was equally hard for him

and you making it harder for him to get to your heart again cant be easy

if i had to go to service and then come back 6 months later and then my wife would be

all like hard to talk to, hard to connect with and basically hard to do anything with

i would feel terrible. life is good when your both happy. and if your happy, he'll be happy.

you cant expect him to budge you if you wont even budge yourself.

you can save alot of time/headaches/fights by just letting down that

"concrete wall" around your heart

 

[mzink*]

Its not something I'm consciously doing, and not something I can easily get rid of. Of course I want a quick easy fix, but the problem is I don't know how to fix it. Its just something that has to improve over time I guess.

Thanks for the advice though, any advice is good to get a different angle on the matter.

 

[JonaDiaper]

Its not something I'm consciously doing, and not something I can easily get rid of. Of course I want a quick easy fix, but the problem is I don't know how to fix it. Its just something that has to improve over time I guess.

if you know your doing it, you must be conciously doing it

you do have control over your heart/brain

i guess a way to fix it would be to forget it ever happened,

if you cant just thank God hes back safe and sound and enjoy

his company now that you have it. im assuming hes a good man

and wont just leave you because its hard to get to you, but

it must be frustrating for him. you can be happy if you chose to be

dont let the past control your future. everyday is a new day

only you can bring back the past and let it haunt you/control you

 

[mzink*]

There are other factors involved that I cannot post unfortunately. But I get what you are saying and it makes sense. But also there are certain things/imprints that cannot be simply dropped. Emotions are a step by step process. Its not about forgetting or erasing, moving on yes. But not magically switching gears.

 

[JonaDiaper]

i can imagine there are many other factors

but in the end, it all comes down to the same thing,

wether you let the past control your present and future.

and i know your trying, but you can always try a little bit harder

 

[mzink*]

True. Thanks for the advice.

 

[JonaDiaper]

no problem. i know alot of time i try to force what i think in peoples faces and they just say thank you to get away. sorry if i did that.

 

[mzink*]

Nono not at all. Honest opinions factor into how I view the situation myself.

 

[JonaDiaper]

oh ok good. that makes me feel better when someone says thank you and genuinely means it

 

[IC3R]

To be in love...



I simply have to say it's great...just so great...

I never thought I could be this happy, and I can bet it'll much better later down the road . . . Yeah . . .

And it's good to know I'm not the only guy in the world who is looking for the right girl (or in my case, found ). Most everyone thinks love is a game, and in a sense, it is: a very serious game of life. It's not about how many men/women/critters you can sleep with before you die, but about the lives that you impact. True Love is the ultimate impact: it can make or break anybody.


Ironically, I was just about to give up on love when she came into my life. We met at a picnic at which many of my friends were at, but as much fun as I was having, I kept looking over where she was sitting . . . alone. I hate to see people alone, because I was for a very long time myself. It was painful, and I didn't want her to feel that way. No one should have to feel that way.
I was just trying be friendly, saying hello and the works, trying to make friends with a stranger . . . for whom I had a surprising attraction to. My mind wasn't filled with lust at all, even though she's gorgeous We began talking, just normal conversation, and later in, we had begun revealing some personal things to each other without realizing. It was very strange indeed . . .

It was a Wednesday, so I invited her to go to church with me later. If she didn't have previous plans, she said she would've love to come. During service, I just couldn't stop thinking about her. I have some crazy ADD, so it was odd that I couldn't stop focusing on a single subject. Later that night, I had called her, and I learned more about her than I would have ever expected in a single day. My body began reacting to my emotions; feeling warm, chest tightening, butterflies in my stomach, and I just couldn't do a thing about it . . . until she asked "Do you like me? Like, really like me?"

Time stopped.

I have been asked that question before, but I had not had those feelings for the girls that asked me. It was different this time; I did like her, a lot, and for reasons beyond my comprehension. I replied "Yes, I believe I do." She then said "I think I like you, too." And I felt . . . happy. For the first time in my life, I felt truly happy. If someone had tapped our line, they could hear smiles in both our voices. I finally asked her to be my girlfriend, and she accepted my proposal. I then began my first romantic relationship . . . with her . . .


Things were going excellently at first, but some two months in . . . it started going downhill. I kept messing up, and doing the stupidest things without realizing, and she just got sick of it . . . and so, she began to test me . . .

My first break-up.

We split up for about a month, and I hated every second she wasn't mine. It was painful, I felt so much pain, more than I thought I could deal with. I wanted to die, just so it would go away. But I couldn't die, I had sworn that if I could help it, I would not die on her.
We still hung out, but I couldn't hold her, kiss her, or tell her I love her, no matter how much I desired to. It took everything I had not to have an emotional explosion, cause there's no telling where that'd go. I never stopped being her friend though, and that was . . . surprisingly, comforting to her . . .

Even though we weren't "together", the feelings we had were still there, and they just kept growing . . .


My test was over.


"Do you want me back?"
"More than anything."
"Then take me back . . .
and don't ever let me go again."


And so, I did . . .


Without a doubt, I want to be with this girl for the rest of my life; I just can't picture myself without her. And I'm preparing to make it happen . . .

I'm in love, and I like it . . . I don't want it to go away . . . ever . . .



I hope everyone gets to experience this in their lifetime, as it is unrivaled and unmatched. No feeling can compare to love, and I'm glad I got to feel it . . .




-IC3R

Sorry for the long post . . . >_>;

 

[JonaDiaper]

wow man that was a nice story.

i can imagine how bad that break up was.

i almost broke up with my girlfriend before we started dating....

its so awesome to find the perfect girl, and even more awesome

to be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

i love being in love. its like an addiction.

i need my girls love. i could see my life falling apart without it.

some people are luckier then others. they get to experience love at a young age.

while others have to wait for that someone to come.

im 16. and man people think im crazy when i say im going to marry this girl

but, im more the 150% sure of it.

 

[ChivalRuse]

To be in love...



I simply have to say it's great...just so great...

I never thought I could be this happy, and I can bet it'll much better later down the road . . . Yeah . . .

And it's good to know I'm not the only guy in the world who is looking for the right girl (or in my case, found ). Most everyone thinks love is a game, and in a sense, it is: a very serious game of life. It's not about how many men/women/critters you can sleep with before you die, but about the lives that you impact. True Love is the ultimate impact: it can make or break anybody.


Ironically, I was just about to give up on love when she came into my life. We met at a picnic at which many of my friends were at, but as much fun as I was having, I kept looking over where she was sitting . . . alone. I hate to see people alone, because I was for a very long time myself. It was painful, and I didn't want her to feel that way. No one should have to feel that way.
I was just trying be friendly, saying hello and the works, trying to make friends with a stranger . . . for whom I had a surprising attraction to. My mind wasn't filled with lust at all, even though she's gorgeous We began talking, just normal conversation, and later in, we had begun revealing some personal things to each other without realizing. It was very strange indeed . . .

It was a Wednesday, so I invited her to go to church with me later. If she didn't have previous plans, she said she would've love to come. During service, I just couldn't stop thinking about her. I have some crazy ADD, so it was odd that I couldn't stop focusing on a single subject. Later that night, I had called her, and I learned more about her than I would have ever expected in a single day. My body began reacting to my emotions; feeling warm, chest tightening, butterflies in my stomach, and I just couldn't do a thing about it . . . until she asked "Do you like me? Like, really like me?"

Time stopped.

I have been asked that question before, but I had not had those feelings for the girls that asked me. It was different this time; I did like her, a lot, and for reasons beyond my comprehension. I replied "Yes, I believe I do." She then said "I think I like you, too." And I felt . . . happy. For the first time in my life, I felt truly happy. If someone had tapped our line, they could hear smiles in both our voices. I finally asked her to be my girlfriend, and she accepted my proposal. I then began my first romantic relationship . . . with her . . .


Things were going excellently at first, but some two months in . . . it started going downhill. I kept messing up, and doing the stupidest things without realizing, and she just got sick of it . . . and so, she began to test me . . .

My first break-up.

We split up for about a month, and I hated every second she wasn't mine. It was painful, I felt so much pain, more than I thought I could deal with. I wanted to die, just so it would go away. But I couldn't die, I had sworn that if I could help it, I would not die on her.
We still hung out, but I couldn't hold her, kiss her, or tell her I love her, no matter how much I desired to. It took everything I had not to have an emotional explosion, cause there's no telling where that'd go. I never stopped being her friend though, and that was . . . surprisingly, comforting to her . . .

Even though we weren't "together", the feelings we had were still there, and they just kept growing . . .


My test was over.


"Do you want me back?"
"More than anything."
"Then take me back . . .
and don't ever let me go again."


And so, I did . . .


Without a doubt, I want to be with this girl for the rest of my life; I just can't picture myself without her. And I'm preparing to make it happen . . .

I'm in love, and I like it . . . I don't want it to go away . . . ever . . .



I hope everyone gets to experience this in their lifetime, as it is unrivaled and unmatched. No feeling can compare to love, and I'm glad I got to feel it . . .




-IC3R

Sorry for the long post . . . >_>;

Loved this post. You really shared a lot about yourself. I'm glad you're happy.

 

[IC3R]

Thanks, I'm glad you guys liked my story...

And wow, you're only sixteen, JD? I thought you were a bit older than that...


lol That post took me about an hour to do >,<
Guess my ADD isn't too bad...


I wonder if anyone else will find this thread and post in it?

 

[JonaDiaper]

yea im 16..... i wish i was older....i wanna get married already lol

love>ADD

im sure more people will wonder in to this thread

 

[Daedatheus]

yea im 16..... i wish i was older....i wanna get married already lol

No, you don't. I think you might have a bit of maturation to do before you're ready to get married. God knows I do, whether I like it or not, and whether I even know it or not. I'm not even sure if marriage is a good idea for myself.

No disrespect, these are some good posts.

 

[Deoxys]

Yeah, I've been there, love is great, except when things don't work out....

 

[JonaDiaper]

No, you don't. I think you might have a bit of maturation to do before you're ready to get married. God knows I do, whether I like it or not, and whether I even know it or not. I'm not even sure if marriage is a good idea for myself.

No disrespect, these are some good posts.

im talking about how i cant wait to get married. im not saying i would get married now. i wouldnt be able to support the family.....or myself.

but i cant wait until that day comes. i would really rather give up my youth now, to go into the future and be married. i mean. im only talkin about like 6 years. but yea i wanna be married. thats something im sure of. not just married. i wanna be a dad. so i can show off my sexy baby.

and dont worry. none taken.

Yeah, I've been there, love is great, except when things don't work out....

if it doesnt work out it was for a reason man. theres obviously someone else down your path for you.

 

[mzink*]

I'm looking forward to starting a family as well, but we are overseas right now and I wouldn't want to start one untill we are settled down back in the states.

 

[ranmaru]

Man, I'm 18 and still no girlfriend. I know what you mean, I would also want to find the 'right' girl and then settle down.

I have not experienced love, and I'm sure I won't anytime soon.

 

[JonaDiaper]

I'm looking forward to starting a family as well, but we are overseas right now and I wouldn't want to start one untill we are settled down back in the states.

yea, i know alot of people from my church who are mexican and they want to go back to mexico and have their kids there instead of here. theyre crazy. kids benefit so much just by being born here. thats very wise of you.

Man, I'm 18 and still no girlfriend. I know what you mean, I would also want to find the 'right' girl and then settle down.

I have not experienced love, and I'm sure I won't anytime soon.

well she's not just gonna find you. you have to find her. girls have it lucky because the guy is the one that has to find her. but man, dont worry, when you do experience the feeling of love, youll be happier then you ever thought you could be.

i was explaining to my friend how being in love is better then hanging out with your friends and laughing and having a good time. love is like 500 times better.

he said he didnt wanna sound "gay" by saying i love you and acting all in love.

hes gonna regret that one day.

love is the best thing God made on this earth.

 

[DtJ Jungle]

well she's not just gonna find you. you have to find her. girls have it lucky because the guy is the one that has to find her. but man, dont worry, when you do experience the feeling of love, youll be happier then you ever thought you could be.

i was explaining to my friend how being in love is better then hanging out with your friends and laughing and having a good time. love is like 500 times better.

he said he didnt wanna sound "gay" by saying i love you and acting all in love.

hes gonna regret that one day.

love is the best thing God made on this earth.

i disagree...sometimes the one you love is in your grasp the whole time and you dont even realize it...it happened to me. otherwise quoted for absolute truth

 

[Mewtwo1414]

I'm 19 and i've never had a girlfriend before, people tell me because i'm shy, and that my standerds are to high(but I cant help what attracts me). So yea, i've given up.

 

[mzink*]

Also the whole gender roles thing is just an illusion we've created. I know plenty of women searching just as hard as men.

 

[JonaDiaper]

i disagree...sometimes the one you love is in your grasp the whole time and you dont even realize it...it happened to me. otherwise quoted for absolute truth

thats the thing tho. she's there and you dont realize it.

its not just finding her physically,

its like you gotta connect with her. a connection

that you realize is something "just friends" cant have.

there has to be more. and thats when you know.

I'm 19 and i've never had a girlfriend before, people tell me because i'm shy, and that my standerds are to high(but I cant help what attracts me). So yea, i've given up.

you'll learn how to loosen up around girls and people

in general. i just happened to do it about a year and a half ago.

thank God i did it or i wouldnt have had the chance

to be with my girlfriend.

man you standards can never be to high.

i thought i was looking for the impossible.

but i found her. man she's perfect.

Also the whole gender roles thing is just an illusion we've created. I know plenty of women searching just as hard as men.

all the girls i know have told me that they will NOT

ask a guy out. maybe at an older age that stops.

but as for the teenage years to the early 20's

i dont think and girls exist that will ask out a guy.

 

[Ishiey]

I'm 19 and i've never had a girlfriend before, people tell me because i'm shy, and that my standerds are to high(but I cant help what attracts me). So yea, i've given up.

The thing I've found is that giving up is the wrong choice. People need to stop forcing it though, you are who you are and you like what you like. If something comes along that fits your mold, try it on for size, but don't go shopping around the country looking for it. Just go with the flow, when the right thing shows up, hopefully you'll see it coming in time and act accordingly. And if not... s*** happens, that's life, better luck next time, and all that stuff. Personally, I feel that love is too much trouble in most cases, things should just work, nothing should have to be forced (but maybe that's because I'm ridiculously lazy, whatever).

 

[JonaDiaper]

The thing I've found is that giving up is the wrong choice. People need to stop forcing it though, you are who you are and you like what you like. If something comes along that fits your mold, try it on for size, but don't go shopping around the country looking for it. Just go with the flow, when the right thing shows up, hopefully you'll see it coming in time and act accordingly. And if not... s*** happens, that's life, better luck next time, and all that stuff. Personally, I feel that love is too much trouble in most cases, things should just work, nothing should have to be forced (but maybe that's because I'm ridiculously lazy, whatever).

this is kinda true, but in my case, if i wouldnt have persisted

like i did. i wouldnt be in a relationship now.

my girl kinda rejected me a year before i asked her out.

but she forgot about it. and then even after that

i had problems to start dating her cuz people like to put

words in my mouth and then that caused a problem

where she told me she only wanted to be my friend =[

but 2 weeks later after talking and stuff we settled things

and bam. if you think your soo in love with a person

persisting and fighting is worth it. even if you fail

 

[mzink*]

i dont think and girls exist that will ask out a guy.

I was the one that had to make all the first moves with my husband lolz.

 

[ranmaru]

I wish there were more women like you. :3 Funnily enough, I don't think I had much friends that were girls. I mean, I think I had more guy friends than girls, not that I count or anything, but it seems that way to me right now.

Of course I know now I won't find a girl, since I am not really doing anything right as of now, I'm in a little slump.

 

[JonaDiaper]

I was the one that had to make all the first moves with my husband lolz.

you are a rarity in this world.

I wish there were more women like you. :3 Funnily enough, I don't think I had much friends that were girls. I mean, I think I had more guy friends than girls, not that I count or anything, but it seems that way to me right now.

Of course I know now I won't find a girl, since I am not really doing anything right as of now, I'm in a little slump.

what kind of slump?

 

[ranmaru]

Well I'm out of a job now, and I don't have classes as of now either, so I'm just mostly at home.

 

[JonaDiaper]

theres plenty of good girls at church.

as long as you dont go to church just for

the girls, you should be fine.

 

[ranmaru]

Not that you really can socialize with people there, sadly I don't go to church much either.

 

[JonaDiaper]

after church theres plenty of time to talk and stuff.

unless everyone just leaves right after.

i met my girl at church, talking to her after church and stuff.

think about going again and introduce yourself to girls

after. but dont try to find a girl and just leave the church

after you do.

 

[ROOOOY!]

Also the whole gender roles thing is just an illusion we've created. I know plenty of women searching just as hard as men.

I can personally attest to this.
I genuinely have as many if not more close female friends than I do male friends (probably why I've been single for like a year and a bit, I'm seen either as a friend or that "gay best friend" kinda deal XD) and a lot of them want something real and genuine as much as a nice guy does.
Womenz r moar clevers then we giev dem creadtiz 4 ;]
Most of them play the "ugh not interested" role just to lead the guys on.

And to the guy talking about giving up, I don't recommend it. I know it's terribly cliched but no matter what personal hang-ups you have about yourself, some women see the whole "inner beauty" deal. There's a girl out there for everyone, and with the defeatist attitude you'll be hard pressed to get them. Lack of confidence outwardly shows, and makes the girl feel kinda..insecure..not very safe, around you. Even if you're not confident, just be as charming as possible, throw a little charisma their way.

I'm still looking for mah girl anyway. My last relationship sucked *** lol.

 

[JonaDiaper]

^^^truth

being confident about yourself leads to only good things.

 

[~TBS~]

hey ROOOY! nice sig...
i am 16 years old, and still havent had a girl yet...
i have no self confidence at all, about anything, even when playing brawl...I play brawl as a way to forget about the whole thing...I was like "you know what, i am going to play brawl, since i cant find one." I am trying to become the one and only best sonic player and am well on my way. The girls at my school are horrible, rude, mean, and loud. I dont like them at all.I like girls, but i cant find the right one. plus i think i am too ugly or pathetic. I am very smart in academics, but it just doesnt seem to work. I get the mindset of "playing brawl and being the best sonic is all that matters...Am i in denial?

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I think you are all delusional if you thing love can actually exist...

From what I've seen, it's just two people that are desperate, lonely and scared banding together when they don't particularly like each other but are blinded by their depression and lust...

 

[ROOOOY!]

In the end, it's whatever keeps you happy that's the right thing to follow.
Obviously, you'll want a girl at some point down the line though. And I'll agree, most girls that I encountered when I went to school were legitimally horrible. What helps is meeting girls through other places. Like, friends of friends for example. It's just a good way to get a bigger overview of all the girls around. Just looking in the school would be like searching in a small cavern underwater when there's a whole ocean out there to explore (yes my analogy's suck.)
I've met some of the nicest girls I've ever met through friends, simply because they often share interests with your friend you're meeting them through, and you're going to share some of those interests/traits being friends with your friend, too.
Basically, just try and find as many different types of girls as you can. There's some nice ones somewhere (though they're probably lurking out of sight >_>)
As for the whole self-confidence thing, just having friends that are girls will help that, even if you don't realise it straight away. Speaking to a girl is not really any different to speaking to a boy, you just have to mind your manners more lol.
And once you find a girl you like, properly like, then you've just gotta make yourself as comfortable as possible. Being nervous is going to make them nervous too.

Besides, quite a few girls like the shy guys anyway (lolpun)