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Phoenix Douchebag

Phoenix Douchebag

Smash Lord 25 From ZE BATH
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  • Phoenix Douchebag
    -Be China
    -CCP has a Chokehold on almost everything
    -Wants to gain soft power like Japan and Korea by exporting cultural art and products
    -Suck at it badly (Shrek animators make a better Chinese movie than you) people would rather watch Bayslop Robots fighting than your stuff.
    -Decide to create a devious plan, Import DEI via foreign aid like Sweet Baby Inc. Ban all of their influence in your own country (A good dealer never consumes their own product)
    -Have a large say in Tencent, a chinese company that owns much stuff as Disney, Microsoft and EA. Positioned to rule the gaming industry.
    -Witness large array of Western Game companies kneecap themselves obeying stupid consultants like SBI that poison the well.
    -Western Games now start to look like trash.
    -Gamers get mad, start boycotting companies and start bashing them.
    -Invest in gaming to gain Soft Power.
    -Stuff like Genshin Impact hits it big, Gacha-Mania starts.
    -"Look guys look, all of these western wokeslop games beign trash, aren't our chinese games much better?" (90% is just Gachaslop, Becoming the Isekai anime of the gaming world)
    -Decide to take it up a notch. Former Tencent staff forms Game Science, decides to get into AAA Soulslop market.
    -Makes a super HD photo-realistic Soulslike based on Journey to the West (Western Monkeys love Dragon Ball)
    -Get a lot of free publicity thanks to looking superior to western slop (Demoralization COMPLETE)
    -Sells 20 Million Copies, Developers reject Sweet Baby Inc, Anti-Woke Crowd laps it up (Like Queers for Palestine, Anti-Wokes for China is born)
    -Be Nominated for Game Awards
    -Gooner Korean trash Stellar Blade gets BTFO because Western Gaming Companies have been brainwashed to hate the feminine figure (Lol Intergalactica) when they nominated Nier Automata years ago just fine.
    -Not a single Nippon Scum Nintendo game gets Nonminated best game
    -Only Nominees are a Card Game, a DLC, a Non-Persona Atlus Game, and Astro Bot
    -Prepared to recieve the award, already has a speech two years in advance.
    -LOSES TO A ****ING PS5 EXCLUSIVE (Yeah, those exists)
    -Literally start cyring, Chinese players start bashing BG3 (Don't Ask)
    -Wasted 5 years only to get ass handed by babygame
    -Not even in the top 50 Metacritic of the year.
    -Social Credit Score -99999999999999
    Phoenix Douchebag
    There's this creepy glitch in my Switch. Today i played Castlevania Bloodlines and went to to the home menu, i noticed that i could still faintly, like really, really faintly see the PAUSE screen of Bloodlines. I closed the game and it was still there, i reseted my console and it was still there, i even SHUT DOWN the system and it was still there. What do i do?
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Nevermind. It seems it was fixed by simply adjusting the brightness.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Hot Take: If Disney was the one who said NO to Donald and Goofy in Smash, im really happy they did. Had they been present in any sort of capacity would have given the "non-gaming character in Smash" gang a leg to stand on. and the less argument they have in favor of that, the better.
    • Like
    Reactions: Pokelego999, Momotsuki, GenghisKhant and 8 others
    ZephyrZ
    ZephyrZ
    Eh I think making the best game possible should always take priority over what us silly speculators think.

    Not that I see it as a big deal.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Phoenix Douchebag
    I disagree. The reason i hate the idea of Non Gaming character in Smash is not because "Muh Fan rules", but because it ruins the concept of Smash. I firmly believe Guest characters in games and Crossovers in general should have some LIMITS when it comes to what should be in and what not. TMNT in Injustice 2 feels fitting due to both TMNT and DC heroes originating both in Comics, and TMNT already crossing over with Batman, same goes with Kratos in MK, as both franchises are very gory and use a lot of mythology for inspiration. But what does Negan have to do with Tekken outside of Harada beign a Walking Dead fanboy? (and yes, Gon in Tekken 3 was also a very stupid idea)

    Crossovers are better when there are limitations in mind, or have a theme like Marvel VS Capcom (where the characters are exclusively suprise, from Marvel and Capcom). Smash already is pushing it with the whole "MUH GAMING HISTORY" nonsense when guests in Smash were supposed to be Special, yet they are begin added every 5 seconds, making Smash feel less like Smash and more like Fortnite, a game that spitsballs every cross over and feels like a sellout move, instead of a special occassion ("Oh Rick and Morty is super popular nowadays, better add it alongside Star Wars and Superman and John Wick!")

    To loosely quote a classic King of the Hill episode, you are not making Video Games better, you are making Smash Bros worse.
    ZephyrZ
    ZephyrZ
    I'm not saying non-game characters should be in Smash. I'm saying that its silly to care what speculators think is possible. We aren't the ones making the games, we just play 'em.

    Sakurai wants Smash to be just video games amd I respect that vision for it, regardless of who's decision it was to not include Goofy/Donald.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    If i had the power of Time Travel, i would:
    -Take finalized Banner from Ultimate with Ken, Incineroar, PP, Joker, Hero, Banjo, Terry, Byleth, Min-Min, Steve, Seph, Aegis, Kaz and Sora.
    -Edit the photo of the Grinch Leak and replace their fake banner with the real one and put in text "no guys, THIS is the real roster"
    -Watch the chaos ensue.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Next year The Jojo Anime becomes 10 years old, it also aired the same date Sora was revealed (Oct 5th) Also the Wii U becomes 10 years old.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    It's hard to think once upon a time the idea of Mega Man in Smash was just a pipe-dream..............
    • Like
    Reactions: Pokelego999 and Shroob
    Keeshu
    Keeshu
    It's hard to think there was once a time with no 3rd Party characters in Smash. Yet I still wanted Sephiroth in, but "knew" he would never get in.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Happy 35th Anniversary, Castlevania!

    Cheers to my favorite Konami franchise, and hopefully one day the franchise returns to its former glory. No weird reboots, no pachinko machines, and no overrated and mediocre cartoons.

    Phoenix Douchebag
    When you are the only remaining planned character for Smash 64 but are not added in Smash Remix:
    Phoenix Douchebag
    I hate how Youtube censored Leafy and banned him. Not because i like Leafy, guy was a pathetic excuse for a youtuber and im glad he's gone, but because he was censored means that he basically became a victim of Youtube's shift from creator driven content to a corporate machine that hates creativity. and since i dislike censorship on principle alone i can't help but feel that he shouldn't have been censored.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Has Nintendo in their life ever had any meaningful presence in Tokyo Game Show? Because from what i have seen, they pretend TGS doesn't exist.
    • Like
    Reactions: Pokelego999
    CapitaineCrash
    CapitaineCrash
    I think they revealed the Wii there or something (or at least the controller), but aside from that I don't remember Nintendo ever being there or showcasing big stuff.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    In Rocky IV, there's a scene during the Rocky vs Ivan fight in which commentators from different countries commentate on the fight. How did they handle the Japanese voice overs in the Japanese Dub?
    Phoenix Douchebag
    "LOL Caddicarus got all the platinum Relics in Crash games, what kind of masochist is he?"

    Also me:
    Inkling Man
    Inkling Man
    Why are people so sure that Banjo will never get any new games ever again?
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Any moron who goes about "WOKE AGENDA" "SJW NONESENSE" "CURRENT ADAPTATIONS SUCK AND ARE NOT FAITHFUL TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL" "NETFLIX ADAPTATIONS SUCK" and "HE MAN/STAR WARS/MARVEL/instert mainstream franchise here IS RUINED" but likes the Netflix Castlevania show has no damn right to speak and whine about the current state of modern western entertainment. A Crappy, crude, poorly written Game of Thrones wannabe written by a Man who has touched more women inappropriately than he ever touched a Castlevania game in his entire damn life.

    Im predicting that the the Rondo of Blood "Adaptation" will be to the Netflix show what "The Last Jedi" was to many Star Wars viewers. Maria Renard will be what Teela is to Revelations.
    View previous comments…
    Wigglerman
    Wigglerman
    I think it's also fair to point out that it's, of course, absolutely fine to like things (In this case, Last Jedi lovers). That's A-Ok. Though I think it's good for people to at least understand why most find the film to be bad. Most assume it's just 'butthurt fanboys' but in reality the films have a lot of bad writing and characters (Bad as in flat, not fleshed out, feeling almost too generic and the ones who do have some inkling of interesting possibilities it never goes anywhere. Just squandered).

    I also feel people should be able to admit that the things they like aren't good. It's okay. Really. It shouldn't detract from your own enjoyment to acknowledge the lack of quality in something you enjoy. It's an adult thing to do. I love me some Batman & Robin. It's a very bad film from an adaptation, writing and pacing standpoint. But God damn is that movie just a hoot to watch.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Everytime someone defend Netflixvania or its "fans" talk about it, all i hear is:
    Champion of Hyrule
    Champion of Hyrule
    It’s been a month, no one cares any more.

    also let people enjoy things, jesus. Do you act this way when everyone has a different opinion from you?
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Guy: "What are some of your favorite songs? Mine are Despacito and This is America"

    Me: "Paranoid by Black Sabbath, Thriller by Michael Jackson, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, Clint Eastwood, Plastic Beach, Hollywood, Humility, Dare, The Lost Chord from Gorillaz, Highway to Hell by ACDC, and Freesia"

    Guy: "Fre-what?"

    • Like
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    Wario Wario Wario
    Wario Wario Wario
    Not to brag, but my tastes are so niche that they'd sound ridiculous even if you asked specifically for game music.

    "Main Menu from Inspector Gadget: Gadget's Crazy Maze, Title from Robocop, Another World from The Smurfs' Nightmare, Diving from Waterworld, Final Rescu-"

    "Did you just say Inspector Gadget? and the Smurfs?"

    "Yes."
    Phoenix Douchebag
    "Babe do you want to chill"
    "No im busy tyring to get all the Chaos Emeralds in Sonic Advance 2"


    I don't even have a girlfriend and this **** popped into my head
    Phoenix Douchebag
    I remember beign a lil' kid and watching this on Newgrounds, and thinking this was one of the saddest stories that i ever witnessed:

    I can't believe im feeling melancholic about Newgrounds's old days. It was probably the only site that i used as much as Youtube.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    If it wasn't by the EX Skills, i don't think i would care for the A/S rank in Mega Man Zero 2 and 3. Also all you get in the latter after beating it with S rank is a bunch of ****ty mini games.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    Im 99% sure that by the time Generation Alpha reaches maturity, games like Kingdom Hearts 3 will be seen far more favorably, due to the playerbase not having the expectations of a 13 year sequel in the making.
    Phoenix Douchebag
    "So why do you have this...............Senan Kangooro Peach Ball game?"

    ...."it's a long story"
    • Like
    Reactions: Pokelego999
    DrCoeloCephalo
    DrCoeloCephalo
    Here's a touching story.

    Once upon a time I realized I like hot anime girls in bikinis and I lived happily ever after. The end.

    Liar. That story isn't very long.
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