The WUSSIFICATION of America!

[Sosuke]

I wouldn't say it gives you the same results, but okay.

 

[Fatmanonice]

You can be nice anyway. =)

It's not about being nice, it's about be TOO nice. You know what I'm saying?

 

[Livvers]

Indeed. Too nice is creepy, honestly.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

I found a picture of youko

 

[Lord Viper]

☆ Wow, Youko changed in a big way, it's like I don't know him anymore. O_o ☆

☆ Oh, and great blog, and it made blog of the week. ☆

 

[Sosuke]

I think you're leaning more towards obsessive and desperate.
But i just mean like, kind. Like making her a nice breakfast on a day that she has a test.

Not like, sending her flowers everyday.

 

[Zero Beat]

I found a picture of youko

Holycrap, that looks a lot like Steve Vai.

 

[M.K]

All I have to say is, you make a pretty broad generalization with your first statement.
I am not and will not ever be a wussy. I'm not afraid to talk to girls, get intimate with girls, or advance my relationship with girls further than my comfort zone. Making a generalization about the entire male population actively or non-actively seeking relationships is not the way to go with this. It should be less "I'm Youko, this is what you do" and more "I'm Youko, here are some tips"
However, I will just assume that this blog is not aimed for people like me and I will appropriately commend you on your efforts to help those who may have self-esteem issues or the likes that keep them from being a man. I know I'm definetly not the target audience for this blog and I have nothing to say further about it, except the fact that you shouldn't group all of the men together in one big lump of wussification status.

 

[El Nino]

I was told that all females are naturally bisexual.

Women are raised to be bisexual.

If thats your idea of "natural".

Not all females are bisexual, but bisexuality tends to occur at higher rates among females than males.

Bisexuality among females has also been observed in certain species of chimps, the closest animal relatives to humans. So, I wouldn't blame it all on social conditioning. Biology predates culture.

To be honest, it's just the norm that society has had for ages and now-a-days women can completely blow off guys without looking bad. For example, read Rudyard Kipling's "the vampire" for an example of a guy who tries to be a "nice guy" but then just has the woman take advantage of him. With that being said, the additude's been around for 100s of years but now it's actually socially acceptable.

In a species like Homo sapiens, the females tend to be more picky than males. Biologically, they have to be because their parental investment is greater than that of the male. Even in modern society with birth control options, it's still the female's responsibility to go out and make the necessary arrangements, which just adds another burden to her, which will make her a little more hesitant than a male to immediately engage in intercourse. It also makes her more discriminating in choosing the right mate.

Males, on the other hand, are more driven to do it whenever they can. That doesn't mean they always get to, or choose to, but the drive is there.

Animals are born with innate mating procedures, yet there are men out there making millions of dollars teaching average, frustrated chumps how to make the most of their life....

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US?

Actually, it's been observed in birds and other animals that a lot of younger males have to learn mating rituals from older males before successfully doing it on their own. And the younger ones rarely get it right on the first try.

So, nothing has "happened." If you're young, you have to learn. That's all. Not even animales have "innate" mating sensibilities, not if you're talking about things more complex than nematodes. And, yes, twenty-something can still be considered young. That's something that varies by culture, though.

 

[Sosuke]

Not all females are bisexual, but bisexuality tends to occur at higher rates among females than males.

Bisexuality among females has also been observed in certain species of chimps, the closest animal relatives to humans. So, I wouldn't blame it all on social conditioning. Biology predates culture.

Well, yeah. You see boy bunnys humping each other all the time. Thats out of lust, not love.
Which goes back to me saying both guys and girls having the same capability for lust.

I didn't say that all females are bisexual, just that most are raised to be these days with all the stuff they grow up with.
I mean like, they have to suck on their mother's breasts just as they enter life, don't they? >_>

 

[Chaco]

Youko wins. He's right. Although I miss his Urahara avatar. I'll let it slide since that was mind numbingly awesome.

 

[Falconv1.0]

Youko for prez.

Definite blog of the week methinks.

Totally ****ing called it.

 

[Livvers]

All I have to say is, you make a pretty broad generalization with your first statement.
I am not and will not ever be a wussy. I'm not afraid to talk to girls, get intimate with girls, or advance my relationship with girls further than my comfort zone. Making a generalization about the entire male population actively or non-actively seeking relationships is not the way to go with this. It should be less "I'm Youko, this is what you do" and more "I'm Youko, here are some tips"
However, I will just assume that this blog is not aimed for people like me and I will appropriately commend you on your efforts to help those who may have self-esteem issues or the likes that keep them from being a man. I know I'm definetly not the target audience for this blog and I have nothing to say further about it, except the fact that you shouldn't group all of the men together in one big lump of wussification status.

So you really just posted so you could talk about yourself. Lol.

 

[M.K]

So you really just posted so you could talk about yourself. Lol.

I posted to express what I think about this blog and how it relates to myself and others. Stop spouting off at the mouth like an immature pre-teen, you clearly have no clue what my intentions were for writing that post.

 

[Firus]

So you really just posted so you could talk about yourself. Lol.

But...he was replying to the blog...not just talking about himself. He was using himself as an example of why the generalization was bad...

 

[Roxas M]

it's hard for me to admit but he's right. for some reason i'm one of the guys that girls say they want to end up with when they want to get married. but that doesn't help me get a date. actually the sad part is that i'm 17 and i've never been on a date before. i guess i'm part of this wussification of america.....

 

[Livvers]

Lmao.

I was mostly making a joke about the fact that he made a complete circle in talking about himself and it almost seemed an excuse to bring up the generalization so he could say how much of a wuss he isn't.

Also my response wasn't pre-teen teen or adult. It was just a semi jerk response. Putting pre teen in there doesn't make your insult any more potent. Hahaha

 

[Matt]

I'm just chiming in to post that I'm soooooooooo not a wussy, and I'm offended to even think that you'd lump me alongside them but good post anyway I guess but not really~

 

[Cherry64]

Is Livvers a chickk?

I'm just chiming in to post that I'm soooooooooo not a wussy, and I'm offended to even think that you'd lump me alongside them but good post anyway I guess but not really~

Seems kind of unnecessary lolol.
unless someone actually lumped you in with the wussies :S I'd be pissed if they lumped me in with them too.
eh, anyways, bigger things to worry about

 

[Livvers]

Does it matter one way or the other? =)

I dunno figure it out I'll stick with being ambiguous for funsies and I'm done derailing the thread sorry Youks(yay run on sentences!).

 

[Cherry64]

LOL Generally that means yes, and I think you are, but I figured i'd ask

 

[Youko]

I found a picture of youko

Working on it, lol. Mystery is too good... I know some people that hate him though and I think it's because they're jealous.

I'm just chiming in to post that I'm soooooooooo not a wussy, and I'm offended to even think that you'd lump me alongside them but good post anyway I guess but not really~

Matt makes the best posts. BRoom humor ftw.

Does it matter one way or the other? =)

I dunno figure it out I'll stick with being ambiguous for funsies and I'm done derailing the thread sorry Youks(yay run on sentences!).

or am i deal with it.

And if "Youks" is some kind of pet name, it's not going to catch on. Too close to egg "Yolks." I'm not a chicken.

Actually, it's been observed in birds and other animals that a lot of younger males have to learn mating rituals from older males before successfully doing it on their own. And the younger ones rarely get it right on the first try.

Anyway, a more serious response...

I think that part of the problem is that some of us males who are considered "wussies" never actually LEARNED these mating rituals from our father. If your mother was dominant in raising you, hence the term "momma's boy," that can actually be a problem. See, women typically appreciate men who take good care of their mothers - it shows them a glimpse of how men treat women overall.

However, if our mothers did a majority of the raising and our fathers weren't there or never taught us this information about dating, then we would naturally be fed the "nice guy" routine by our mothers. Which is a BIG difference from "be a socially respectable person." Why don't our mothers teach us the attraction game?

Generally, women can't fully explain what makes women feel attraction. It it driven by emotions and it *snap* happens. So, they teach their sons to "be nice to women" and "treat women well," which leaves the young boy to think "the more I treat women well, the more they'll like me!" Wrong.

Unfortunately, I think there's a set of socially and culturally constructed "rules" that are inherent today, hence the "America" part of the thread title. If I had to blame one thing however, it just might have to be the media and the onset of television...even though that just might turn into my professional career. Now, I'm not saying I can speak from experience since I'm not old, but in the beginning of the 20th century, do you think that men had more time to teach other men these fundamentals back then without TV? Just a thought.

It doesn't help that in media we see these wussies from time to time. Sure, you have your tough guys, but it's almost as if a common theme in love stories is "I'll do whatever I can to win the girl's heart." That attitude can drive a man crazy and has him do things he necessarily shouldn't do...but yet he gets the girl in the end. I think I'm rambling now and not necessarily making a distinct point...so think it over I guess?

Ironic that this post comes on Father's Day.

 

[Matt]

lmfao "Raichu a love song." THIS THREAD'S WINNER IS......

Youko!

 

[St. Viers]

logical fallacy in your argument:

I'd say that, on average, if you're REALLY REALLY NICE, and you buy her lots of extra-nice stuff, and take a woman on at least 20 dates over a 3-month time period, that you'll have about a 10% chance of her "falling for you." That's just a guess. But it's probably pretty accurate.

You seem (thoughout your entire 2 essays so far) to be equating nice with buying stuff/taking her to dinner, etc. That is a very shallow view of what being nice is... I'd be interested in seeing how you explain this.

 

[Teran]

You seem (thoughout your entire 2 essays so far) to be equating nice with buying stuff/taking her to dinner, etc. That is a very shallow view of what being nice is... I'd be interested in seeing how you explain this.

People are very shallow, that's the explanation.

 

[Youko]

logical fallacy in your argument:

(quoted from DAVID DEANGELO)

You seem (thoughout your entire 2 essays so far) to be equating nice with buying stuff/taking her to dinner, etc. That is a very shallow view of what being nice is... I'd be interested in seeing how you explain this.

First of all, the argument you quoted is not mine. You should read the beginning of that post again.

Second, you're looking at things FAR too simply. There are degrees and levels of moderation to everything. I'm not saying that you should never treat your lady to nice things every now and then. Women deserve to be treated well. HOWEVER, most men see "buying stuff/taking her to dinner" as things as a way to win a woman's approval, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship. As in, "the more effort I put towards the relationship and the more money I spend on her, she'll have to see this as how much I care for her, and she'll be obliged to feel the same way."

Women want someone who is mature. Not someone who is cruel. Not someone who will kiss your ***. You're probably interpreting "nice" as "mature and socially acceptable." These "essays," as you so call them, are seeing it as "giving your power over to women as an attempt to manipulate them."

A lot of people have actually seemed to think that there can only be wussies and *******s. Black and white.

Learn the grey area in all things.

 

[Pierce7d]

I've already fully come to this realization, and also realized that unlike most guys, I don't have problems with women. I simply am looking for the woman who appreciates my softer qualities. Am I confident? Yes. Am I going to try and empress woman by charming them with my bruting manliness? Sometimes, but not if I'm really interested in them.

I'm naturally submissive, and I prefer a more dominant partner, despite the controlling and empowering roles I tend to take in life. I'll hold out for finding what I'm looking for. In the mean time, yeah, I'll be a macho man for a fling here and there, but that's not what I really want.

 

[Fatmanonice]

I think you're leaning more towards obsessive and desperate.
But i just mean like, kind. Like making her a nice breakfast on a day that she has a test.

Not like, sending her flowers everyday.

That's fine... if she's your girlfriend but I think 9/10 girls would say doing that otherwise would be weird and/or creepy. You have to find a good balance between being nice and not being to afraid, to pardon the vernacular, bust their balls every once in awhile. For example, if she likes Twilight and you think that it's absolute garabage (which is it) and person who wrote should die in a fire (which she should), go ahead and say it and, for the love of God, don't change your opinion simply because of her. That's another example of being too nice, "changing" yourself to please her. Unless you're an alcoholic or like to defecate in public, you don't need to change jack squat if she genuinely likes you. Also, when I say "bust their balls", use sarcasm and don't be afraid to make fun of things she does/likes. Honestly, this may sound like the prick thing to do but, as a jedi master of sarcasm, there are many ways of using sarcasm including in a flirteous way.

@ pierce7d:

So you want a relationship with reversed gender roles? That's all fine and good; just stay the course of what you've been doing then.

 

[Chaco]

If you're not confident you might as well not try. The "Oh poor pitiful me, pity date me" **** does not work. I've watched it to much, and laughed at it to much.

Confident but not overconfident.

 

[Youko]

Chaco, your location is terribly (ir)relevant. WTF.

And I'm glad someone else knows what "busting her balls" means.

 

[El Nino]

I'm naturally submissive, and I prefer a more dominant partner

Somewhere out there, there's a chick who would be down for that. I've seen the websites.

I think that part of the problem is that some of us males who are considered "wussies" never actually LEARNED these mating rituals from our father.

Most guys seem to not learn from their fathers. It may be a cultural thing, but at least in my community, parents don't teach their kids how to date. They actually try to dissuade their kids from dating until the kids are well into their mid-twenties, at which point they turn up the pressure for their kids to get married before they get too "old."

I get the impression that even outside of my community, a lot of parents don't know how, or don't want, to teach their kids about sex and dating. The conversation must get awkward. "So...when I first banged your mom...."

Most people seem to end up learning from their more experienced friends. And, in this way, their friends' mistakes become their own. But, at least they learn.

If I had to blame one thing however, it just might have to be the media and the onset of television...even though that just might turn into my professional career. Now, I'm not saying I can speak from experience since I'm not old, but in the beginning of the 20th century, do you think that men had more time to teach other men these fundamentals back then without TV? Just a thought.

Well, that's a good point. If you don't have older, more experienced friends to learn from, a lot of people just turn to media. I think it's less a matter of men not having the time to teach other men, and more a matter of convenience. If you have no TV, no Internet, and you want to meet people, you would have no choice but to go out to places where people gather. Then you would meet people, make friends, and eventually learn from their experiences. But if you have a TV, it's just easier to click the remote and stare at the screen.

So, in a way, media has replaced that older social networking for a lot of people because it is easier, it feeds into their own social isolation and allows them to gather information without leaving their comfort zone. Usually, it's the most socially awkward individuals who seem to rely on media to teach them socialization skills. For people like this (and I have a few friends who fit that category), media becomes something like a crutch.

Unfortunately, media is not entirely a perfect substitute. The interactions portrayed in TV and movies are not accurate depictions of reality. That's true even for reality TV--especially for reality TV.

Maybe that means guys (and probably girls too) growing up in the modern U.S. are learning from unreliable sources, compared to the previous generations.

 

[Pierce7d]

@ pierce7d:

So you want a relationship with reversed gender roles? That's all fine and good; just stay the course of what you've been doing then.

Not really, what I want is . . . complicated, lol. It's okay though, I'm young so I have plenty of time to find it. I still agree with most of the points in this thread, and what you guys are saying.

 

[Chaco]

I'll change it just for you.

 

[Heartz♥]

Ok, so I am hearing that a lot of guys are bicurious, but the REAL question is:

Top, bottom, or versatile?

 

[El Nino]

Ok, so I am hearing that a lot of guys are bicurious, but the REAL question is:

Top, bottom, or versatile?

It varies. Versatile is most common, though there are also a lot of guys who are strictly either top or bottom.

Strong top or bottom preference is also a characteristic of the fetish community, though not exclusively.

 

[Teran]

Ok, so I am hearing that a lot of guys are bicurious, but the REAL question is:

Top, bottom, or versatile?

Top, never bottom.

Ever.
No, no, I'm being clear on that Romeo. Yes, that's right.
No, try again and I'll rip your eyes out their sockets and use those as my orifice of choice.

 

[Heartz♥]

Haha. Anal sex.

 

[Fatmanonice]

Ok, so I am hearing that a lot of guys are bicurious, but the REAL question is:

Top, bottom, or versatile?

None of those; diagonal's the only way to go.

 

[El Nino]

Queers are lulzy.

Bi guys also seem to have a reputation for being more masculine than guys who identify as gay.

 

[Teran]

Queers are lulzy.

Hey shove it ***got.

No you're totally right, gay people are a ****ing disgrace for the most part.
No wonder everyone hates them.