Last time it was my boyfriend this time it's the best one lol
I agree that it does suck to not try but I'm to that point like the line as been crossed and I've tried enough imo
Well the amount of effort you put into fixing a friendship should be proportionate to how important the friendship was to you. So if the friendship was never so important to you then it really is ok for you not try and fix it (I made the mistake thinking you were closer than that).
As for me, there are three things bothering me right now
(in no order)
1) I'm falling back into old bad habits even though I've been making more effort to better myself. I'm very lazy and I often don't care about myself. I've been trying to do things that I know I need to even when I don't want to. If I don't feel like walking 15 minutes to buy winter clothes then I'll do it anyways, or if I don't feel like taking out my garbage I'll do it anyways. But even so sometimes I fall back into my self-destructive vices and it just kinda sucks. I don't feel hopeless yet, but it is making me lose faith in myself.
2) I am realizing now that my nature to playful troll my close friends has resulted in them getting a distorted view of me. Some of my friends are now telling me that I'm arrogant and don't know anything about women, which is kinda how I act while I'm trolling. It's weird cuz they know I'm joking(they joke like that with me too) but still they can't seem to separate that from my personality. This bothers me cause I feel like hardly anyone understands me, and now I'm seeing that it's kinda my own fault.
3) One of my bosses has been nothing short of amazing to me. She hired me for my sake and not hers. She is giving me time off from work to built my portfolio, and she even bought me a new laptop charger and battery(wtf), and just this week I'\ have dented her 7000$ piece of equipment and damaged the cart I borrowed from her. I feel awful about it, and I'm worried that she may be(and rightfully so) getting upset with me. *sighs*