The Unhappy Thread

[Froggy]

My mother is trying to force me to learn how to drive, which is annoying. My drive to do it is absolutely nonexistent (no pun intended), and I really think me on the road would result in an accident, and I'd probably not handle that too well.

I want to live in a city where I can just use public transportation or taxis to get where I want. Would be easier and probably cheaper than owning and driving my own cars.

Well driving at this point is a necessity at this point since there is no public transportation in my area, and I may have to move out soon.

Turns out however that I wasn't able to do my driving lesson today because I've misplaced my learner's permit, I think left it on my desk at work. This weekend was entirely unproductive, **** like this frustrates me a lot.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I think a lot of my lack of motivation has to do with my lack of independence. Kind of like an animal in captivity.

That's what my life feels like. Like an animal in captivity

 

[Holder of the Heel]

New York is perfect for this.

I might end up living there or in a similar place. Fixes any necessity of driving. Granted, I do think I should eventually learn it, although I don't know when. Perhaps when I'm more independent, like Psycho mentions, but even then, would prefer if I just didn't have to do so. Also in cities there would be less insects compared to Alabama, where they rule over us humans. Driving and insects are two things I'm just plain irrational about, and a city could fix both. Preferably one that doesn't get too hot, though I'm sure none would be as hot as Alabama. Tired of not being able to wear multiple layers like I want because if I did I'd die of heat stroke, that is if I didn't by then drown in a puddle of my own sweat.

Move to London.

I can't even drive now cause I'm going blind, so hey I have an excuse and it feels good. **** driving.

Haha no offense to London, but I'm not sure about going that far away. I mean, maybe going out of the United States would be interesting, it would seriously challenge my dependence. Probably best I start "adulting" in the States until I can get my footing.

But what do you mean you're going blind? You are literally going to end up blind? Holy ****, your life is turning out to be a tragic play the more I talk to you today, Teran.

 

[Teran]

Well not blackout blind no, but I've already lost a significant amount of central vision and it will get worse.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

What exactly is the cause of this? Is it something that can be fixed?

 

[Pluvia]

 

[Teran]

What exactly is the cause of this? Is it something that can be fixed?

It's a genetic condition which causes dystrophy in the centre of the retina. It is out of the bounds of current medicine. It's okay for now though.

 

[Jasou]

That's horrible Teran, hope it gets better

 

[Shorts]

It's Teran's curse. In exchange for eternal beauty, Ursula took his vision.

 

[#HBC | J]

Best. Disney. Reference. Ever.

Worst day I've had in a while.

 

[Shorts]

AWH, explain, vent, to me, Shorts.

And I love Ursula.

 

[Froggy]

It's Teran's curse. In exchange for eternal beauty, Ursula took his vision.

That's not funny *******.

Someone's deteriorating health isn't something you make jokes about.

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

chill the **** out

 

[#HBC | J]

AWH, explain, vent, to me, Shorts.

And I love Ursula.

We seriously just need to have a long conversation haha. I feel with our music likes we would be set for hours. xD

Anyways, well today I had to be an awkward third wheel with my brother and friend at this amusement park since they needed someone to go with them. They treated me like dirt all day but that isn't anything new. However, I have a skin condition ever since I took this acne medication a long time ago to get rid of the stuff (which I know have smooth skin), but at the cost of changing the genetic make-up of my skin to be a bit more sensitive to the sun which makes me tired/exhausted/dizzy, but they thought I was joking about it. So after that I came home and literally passed out for 3-4 hours on my bed. Then when I woke up I got into a huge argument with my mother since she cancelled my plans without telling me (even though we made these plans, discussed them days ago. *isn't the first time this has happened*) simply because I need to "grow up" which is a funny statement because I've been trying my hardest since the move to get on my own feet away from them but they keep saying "I can't rush things" when they somewhat hindered me my life since I was the oldest and therefore, the child they could make mistakes on to make sure they do better for the other two. Then my brother yells at me some more because he got into one of those bad moods. And I have literally nothing "fun" to look forward to because my mother has said that I am going to be a work horse for unpacking the house all day tomorrow which I have been doing for the past 2-3 days already. So I really don't have anything to look forward to tomorrow except I am going to be sleeping in my house finally instead of a hotel even if it may be just a floor to sleep on. I'm tired of living with my brother but that's an entirely different story.

*sigh* There's a bit of background to why these little things are annoying me, but today's just not a good day in any sense of the word. Sorry for being a bit complainy over nothing at all really.

I just gotta get over it and move on with life.

 

[Shorts]

Well we have all been there, definitely. If living with your brother/parents really is bothering you this much you should probably try to move out. (Unless youre under 18...) *patpat* Even if tomorrow sucks, just makes sure one day soon to "treat yoself" for putting up with all that insanity. My little brother used to piss me the **** OFF, so I can sympathize with the brother problems a lot. So yeah, set a day aside for you to do whatever makes you happy. Eat whatever you want, or buy something you've been wanting. Be lazy, or be productive with your friends. Get crunk, or be a straight edge. Treat YO SELF.

As for me, my day has been good, just uber tired. (Havent slept since noon... yesterday)

That's not funny *******.

Someone's deteriorating health isn't something you make jokes about.

Hi, this is Teran, I take it you've never met?

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

So, I just spontaneously asked my mom if I could be tested for anxiety or at least go see someone about mental health stuff.

After a long time of weirdly obsessive destructive thoughts (don't worry, self harm and I do NOT mix, and death scares me...so it's nothing like that. Just irrational thinking. Hard to explain), stressing out/being nervous/being upset for no apparent reason, and attacks of sheer emotion and crying, I really just need some sort of ****ing closure as to what the hell is wrong.

I'm a happy person. I really am. I just have moments where it's honestly hard to be awake, because being asleep means I can just rest and not think at all. And I can't explain these moments, other than the fact they are triggered by really small instances, but often snowball to crying fits of intense sadness/rage/other emotions or just me being really out of sorts. Basically, mood swings for no reason, or insane stress over something of little importance.

And I can't bring myself to talk about it with the people close to me, because I feel as though I'm being a burden and that I am being selfish for forcing my feelings on them. I can't even tell my boyfriend, who is my other half. And that hurts me more, because I feel as though I can never help him when he needs me most....and I'm closing him off from myself inadvertently. I love him...so I should be able to share my feelings like this with him. And maybe I will, since I'm suddenly sharing my emotions with people on the internet that I haven't even met in person.

I mean, since I came home for the summer, I've gotten a lot better. But, I'm afraid of what will happen when I go back to school. It's not homesickness - college is 2 hours from school, my dad visits me since he often has business in Pittsburgh, and I go home often because of family events. But, I would have bouts of crippling emotion where I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed at times or even fall asleep at night. I just cry until my head aches and I drift off to sleep.
I just felt empty.

I just want to know why I feel like this.

And I'm sorry, I just needed a place to vent this.

I'll probably be so confused and mortified by this post tomorrow because I'll be happy and stuff. But, I just need to get these feelings out, so I can at least push myself to talk to someone about this.

So yeah...sorry about this >__>;; Super deep post....
/sinks into corner and runs back to the happy thread.

(But I do feel a lot better getting emotions off my chest. It's like a weight has lifted ; u ; So that is definitely a plus!)

----

And yeah J, sometimes you just have those days! You have every right to complain - everyone needs to vent! If you just bottle up emotions, its bad!

And younger siblings suck. Hahaha xD How old is your bro?

 

[Lore]

Hooray for anxiety and irrational thoughts. I'm sorry to hear you're having to go through that, Lokii.

If you need someone to vent to again, feel free to message me on AIM sometime.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

That's not funny *******.

Someone's deteriorating health isn't something you make jokes about.

Hey, don't flip out! We have more important things to worry about. After all, someone's deteriorating health is a big deal.

 

[Lore]

Chill Froggy, chill. I agree that it was a bit of an inappropriate joke, but chill.

 

[#HBC | J]

Thsnks very much, Shortie and Lokii.

Well we have all been there, definitely. If living with your brother/parents really is bothering you this much you should probably try to move out. (Unless youre under 18...) *patpat* Even if tomorrow sucks, just makes sure one day soon to "treat yoself" for putting up with all that insanity. My little brother used to piss me the **** OFF, so I can sympathize with the brother problems a lot. So yeah, set a day aside for you to do whatever makes you happy. Eat whatever you want, or buy something you've been wanting. Be lazy, or be productive with your friends. Get crunk, or be a straight edge. Treat YO SELF.

Yeah, I'm under 18 at the current time and won't be turning 18 till November. Thank goodness I'll have college to get ahead of things more since I already skipped a semester so I can just focus on the other classes now.

Haha, I could get into a really really long tangent about my brother because I know your pain.

I would love to be productive with friends, but the thing is, I know absolutely no one in this state yet ever since I moved. That's kind of why I was hoping to go to the thing my parents cancelled because it was something to socialize and get to know people and the like. To be completely honest since I'm already venting a bit, I just feel really lonely out here this move. I know no one at all and I just feel meh about it. I have like this confidence that college will be better and I can meet people but the thing is, I'm really not confident at all and kind of terrified that I might revert back to the shy guy I used to be.

I need to go out and just breathe some fresh air more maybe and just get away from my family. I just feel so weighted down by 100% them time and never any privacy or me time. I will hopefully get that within the next month or two after the unpacking is all done but it's just frustrating at times.

I just need to have a chill day with friends or like go on a date or something soon.

I'll definitely be scheduling a day for myself hopefully soon so thanks for the advice, Shortie!

So, I just spontaneously asked my mom if I could be tested for anxiety or at least go see someone about mental health stuff.

After a long time of weirdly obsessive destructive thoughts (don't worry, self harm and I do NOT mix, and death scares me...so it's nothing like that. Just irrational thinking. Hard to explain), stressing out/being nervous/being upset for no apparent reason, and attacks of sheer emotion and crying, I really just need some sort of ****ing closure as to what the hell is wrong.

I'm a happy person. I really am. I just have moments where it's honestly hard to be awake, because being asleep means I can just rest and not think at all. And I can't explain these moments, other than the fact they are triggered by really small instances, but often snowball to crying fits of intense sadness/rage/other emotions or just me being really out of sorts. Basically, mood swings for no reason, or insane stress over something of little importance.

And I can't bring myself to talk about it with the people close to me, because I feel as though I'm being a burden and that I am being selfish for forcing my feelings on them. I love him...so I should be able to share my feelings like this with him. And maybe I will, since I'm suddenly sharing my emotions with people on the internet that I haven't even met in person.

I mean, since I came home for the summer, I've gotten a lot better. But, I'm afraid of what will happen when I go back to school. It's not homesickness - college is 2 hours from school, my dad visits me since he often has business in Pittsburgh, and I go home often because of family events. But, I would have bouts of crippling emotion where I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed at times or even fall asleep at night. I just cry until my head aches and I drift off to sleep.
I just felt empty.

I just want to know why I feel like this.

I'm gonna be honest with you Lokii, but this almost made me cry a little while reading this because I can relate so much to the feelings you have. Not necessarily the anxiety, but the long nights of just wanting to sleep and ending up staying up all night either crying or contemplating life. The feeling of emptiness.

I'm a happy person. I really am. I just have moments where it's honestly hard to be awake, because being asleep means I can just rest and not think at all. And I can't explain these moments, other than the fact they are triggered by really small instances, but often snowball to crying fits of intense sadness/rage/other emotions or just me being really out of sorts. Basically, mood swings for no reason, or insane stress over something of little importance.

This paragraph, really hit me because I understand what you mean. Really. Sometimes just taking a moment alone or going for a walk for a second helps. Taking a breather and then trying to think optimistically helps me from time to time. I mean hopefully you will find your own remedy to this and it will help. However, the emotional mood swings I haven't figured out how to help them more in terms of making them go away because when they hit, they hit like a freaking freight train and it's the smallest little thing that changes your mind/thought process for a bit. Like how can someone explain this type of thing...? I really do hope you get what I mean, dear.

And I'm sorry, I just needed a place to vent this.

I'll probably be so confused and mortified by this post tomorrow because I'll be happy and stuff. But, I just need to get these feelings out, so I can at least push myself to talk to someone about this.

So yeah...sorry about this >__>;; Super deep post....
/sinks into corner and runs back to the happy thread.

(But I do feel a lot better getting emotions off my chest. It's like a weight has lifted ; u ; So that is definitely a plus!)

Haha I'm probably going to use this place more as that vent because as you suggest below, it's good to air these things out even if it is to people you are hardly know and you know you think you'll sound sillier in the morning and the like.

There is absolutely no reason to be sorry. That's what this place is for. If anyone were to give you a hard time. We'd beat them up.

And yeah J, sometimes you just have those days! You have every right to complain - everyone needs to vent! If you just bottle up emotions, its bad!

And younger siblings suck. Hahaha xD How old is your bro?

I tend to juts bottle things up so I don't annoy other people with how I am doing and the like. It seems just better to swallow it for a bit and find a healthy way to relief it later.

My little brother is 16 and my goodness can he be a little ***** sometimes. I also have a sister who is 13.

/sorry for the wall guys...^^"

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Thanks Werekill ; u ;

....Holder

Just

Just lol man.

XD

--

J, if I could hug you right now, I seriously would.

I hope you can make some awesome friends quickly c: Moving is always tough, but new friends rock!
And thanks for the advice and kind words. You are an awesome person! Don't bottle things up either! It's the worst feel.

Plus, I think its years of bottling up feelings that has gotten me this way. Also the obsessive thinking. That too. BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT! xD

Oh jeeeez. 16. That's a tough age. I understand that feel - 17 year old sister. 15-17 or 18 are scary years, especially with the younger siblings.

 

[Shorts]

Oh of course J <3 AND IM. AN. ADULT. I DO WHAT I WANT. *shows you redbull and candy*

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Oh of course J <3 AND IM. AN. ADULT. I DO WHAT I WANT. *shows you redbull and candy*

I have this strange feeling that redbull and candy might or might not be a bad idea.

....Yeah I'm thinking the first one.

But, I can't argue with candy.

........just dont get yourselves sick now.

 

[Shorts]

I wanna stay up for a whole two days, but I dont think I can. Ill fall asleep in the next few hours, >:

 

[#HBC | J]

J, if I could hug you right now, I seriously would.

I hope you can make some awesome friends quickly c: Moving is always tough, but new friends rock!
And thanks for the advice and kind words. You are an awesome person! Don't bottle things up either! It's the worst feel.

Plus, I think its years of bottling up feelings that has gotten me this way. Also the obsessive thinking. That too. BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT! xD

Oh jeeeez. 16. That's a tough age. I understand that feel - 17 year old sister. 15-17 or 18 are scary years, especially with the younger siblings.

Haha, it's the thought that counts. *w.r.t the hug* But yeah, hopefully the age thing will also snap some wisdom into him. I just want to be outta hear before my sister goes through it. I mean, love her to death but she can be scaaaary when she's angry/upset.

I'll try opening up a bit more too. =P

Oh of course J <3 AND IM. AN. ADULT. I DO WHAT I WANT. *shows you redbull and candy*

<3 Lucky adult. Never actually had redbull, but I'll take the candy!

I wanna stay up for a whole two days, but I dont think I can. Ill fall asleep in the next few hours, >:

Good! Get some sleep. After being nocturnal/an insomniac for a bit, I love my pillow and you should too.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

I wanna stay up for a whole two days, but I dont think I can. Ill fall asleep in the next few hours, >:

O___O I don't think that's healthy! Oh jeez! Don't get sick!

And maybe try a nice tea instead of energy drinks! Healthier and some good natural energy benefits! : D
Like, ginseng tea is awesome. Boss made me some at work once, and oh man much needed energy.

And carbs. Not unhealthy amounts. But carbs do give you energy because they are sugars and your body makes energy by breaking down the sugars.

Healthy energyyyyy!

Or, binge on candy and energy drinks for the craziest sugar rush ever. Because that sounds like fun > w >;;;

But yeah, I guess working for Koreans is something for the happy thread - I get to try weird and delicious foods and tea all the time for no apparent reason other than for food's sake.

 

[Zook]

I just read that Russian Sleep Experiment story.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Googled that

....sounds scary o__o decided not to read because fear of everything forever

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

The question of "Who would win in a fight, the enterprise or a star destroyer" is a stupid question.

I'm using TNG enterprise in this because the picture I saw used for this question was TNG enterprise

If you know ANYTHING about the technology in bother series, you'd realize star trek has FAR more advanced technology than (Almost) ANYTHING in Star Wars. It's not even a competition.

If for some reason the enterprise even saw a star destroyer as a threat, all Picard would have to say it "Photon torpedoes, maximum yield full spread" Any the Star Destroyer and any tie fighters that it may have launched would be annihilated.

In an episode of star trek, the enterprise comes in contact with a vessile that uses the same kind of weapons as a star destroyer. If you don't know, star destroyers use particle cannons, lasers, and ion cannons. I believe it was Riker that said "The ship can't even hurt us".

Particle cannons, lasers, and ion cannons are archaic technology in star trek. The universe where they can travel 9 times the speed of sound and manipulate and move matter at will through the teleportation device, holo deck and replicator.

 

[Froggy]

Hi, this is Teran, I take it you've never met?

God you're an ***.

It's too bad we have people like you on these boards.

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

chill the **** out

 

[Lore]

Drop it, both of you. Next person to continue this gets an infraction.

Edit: I'm letting Shrouded slide since it was a post within a minute, meaning he may have been typing it while I was posting, causing him to not see it. Next person, though, gets an infraction.

 

[ShroudedOne]

Froggy...it was a joke........don't take it so seriously...

 

[The Real Gamer]

I just read that Russian Sleep Experiment story.

I just read it and now I'm creeped out...

It's not the story itself that creeps me out, it's the realization that screwed up experiments like this actually happen in real life; we're just oblivious to it. Here I am on a video game forum thinking everything is so jolly in the word while someone else in the darkest corner of the earth is probably being tortured in inexplicable ways and pleading for death as I type this. It's scary trying to fathom the level of evil we as human beings are capable of... And who's to say stuff like this doesn't happen here in the United States? We may think we understand the integrity of our government but honestly who really knows what goes on behind closed doors? I think that's one of the things I fear the most... the fear of the unknown.

Just some food for thought... Have a great day everyone. :D

 

[Keblerelf]

I hate that I'm not able to stand up for myself. I always feel like people take advantage of me because I want to be nice. I'm always afraid of confrontation because I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.

I went to my mom's office to use the paper cutter to make some fliers for my club. The receptionist there asked me if I could fill in for her while she had lunch. I didn't want to do it. I had no obligation to do it. She's able to eat lunch and get someone else to cover any other day, so why would she need to ask me?

I said yes anyway, after minimal resistance.

I ended up signing in for half an hour. That means I could have finished cutting my papers half an hour earlier. $5 wasn't enough incentive for me to use up 30 min of my time.

I feel like because I'm such a 'nice guy', people see me as a pushover. In a way, they're right. I never respected myself enough to say 'no' when I didn't want to do something. Most of the time I agree to help someone out it's because I'd feel guilty if I didn't. I'd say my motivation is 75% guilt, 25% good intentions.

 

[Froggy]

I hate that I'm not able to stand up for myself. I always feel like people take advantage of me because I want to be nice. I'm always afraid of confrontation because I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.

I went to my mom's office to use the paper cutter to make some fliers for my club. The receptionist there asked me if I could fill in for her while she had lunch. I didn't want to do it. I had no obligation to do it. She's able to eat lunch and get someone else to cover any other day, so why would she need to ask me?

I said yes anyway, after minimal resistance.

I ended up signing in for half an hour. That means I could have finished cutting my papers half an hour earlier. $5 wasn't enough incentive for me to use up 30 min of my time.

I feel like because I'm such a 'nice guy', people see me as a pushover. In a way, they're right. I never respected myself enough to say 'no' when I didn't want to do something. Most of the time I agree to help someone out it's because I'd feel guilty if I didn't. I'd say my motivation is 75% guilt, 25% good intentions.

...How old are you? Did you know the receptionist?

Saying no to people is very easy once you understand that saying Yes isn't in your benefit. A good friend of mine asked me to visit her this weekend, I do love and she is one of the few close friends I have. But it's going to cost me so much to take public transportation two states over and for what? I'm not going to sleep with her, spending time with her isn't so great and there isn't much for me to do in Maryland, so why would I say yes? Try to think like that, what is the benefit in saying yes as opposed to no. These days I find that saying yes is more difficult than saying no.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I just read it and now I'm creeped out...

It's not the story itself that creeps me out, it's the realization that screwed up experiments like this actually happen in real life; we're just oblivious to it. Here I am on a video game forum thinking everything is so jolly in the word while someone else in the darkest corner of the earth is probably being tortured in inexplicable ways and pleading for death as I type this. It's scary trying to fathom the level of evil we as human beings are capable of... And who's to say stuff like this doesn't happen here in the United States? We may think we understand the integrity of our government but honestly who really knows what goes on behind closed doors? I think that's one of the things I fear the most... the fear of the unknown.

Just some food for thought... Have a great day everyone. :D

The Russian sleep experiment was a fake story

It wasn't any more real than Suicide Squidward or Ben Drowned

I hate that I'm not able to stand up for myself. I always feel like people take advantage of me because I want to be nice. I'm always afraid of confrontation because I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.

I went to my mom's office to use the paper cutter to make some fliers for my club. The receptionist there asked me if I could fill in for her while she had lunch. I didn't want to do it. I had no obligation to do it. She's able to eat lunch and get someone else to cover any other day, so why would she need to ask me?

I said yes anyway, after minimal resistance.

I ended up signing in for half an hour. That means I could have finished cutting my papers half an hour earlier. $5 wasn't enough incentive for me to use up 30 min of my time.

I feel like because I'm such a 'nice guy', people see me as a pushover. In a way, they're right. I never respected myself enough to say 'no' when I didn't want to do something. Most of the time I agree to help someone out it's because I'd feel guilty if I didn't. I'd say my motivation is 75% guilt, 25% good intentions.

How long did you think a lunch is? Your lucky, at my work we get an hour

 

[The Real Gamer]

The Russian sleep experiment was a fake story

It wasn't any more real than Suicide Squidward or Ben Drowned

...which is why I stated that the actual story didn't scare me but the reminder that crazy experiments like these actually happen.

 

[Keblerelf]

...How old are you? Did you know the receptionist?

Saying no to people is very easy once you understand that saying Yes isn't in your benefit. A good friend of mine asked me to visit her this weekend, I do love and she is one of the few close friends I have. But it's going to cost me so much to take public transportation two states over and for what? I'm not going to sleep with her, spending time with her isn't so great and there isn't much for me to do in Maryland, so why would I say yes? Try to think like that, what is the benefit in saying yes as opposed to no. These days I find that saying yes is more difficult than saying no.

No need to give me any advice. I'd rather hear you being able to relate to what I'm saying. I like hearing the personal anecdote but leave the advice out of your responses.

How long did you think a lunch is? Your lucky, at my work we get an hour

It doesn't matter how long the lunch was, that's not the point.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Creepy pastas are always blatantly fake, yet there are those who genuinely please me.

These people make me feel good.