The Johns i Just Dont Understand

[blackanese]

Johns. could be the worst, pathetic or the most funniest excuse u ever heard in your life when winning against your opponent.

Some example of the johns i CLEARLY cannot understand r

1. u spammed - which usually follows up in the categories such as, i have no respect 4 u, youre a terrible player, learn 2 do other moves. i can understand spamming is annoying, and i hate it but it IS a technique. the thing is, rather than johning y not just understand your opponents play style and use it against him especially if he/she does the same thing over and over.


2. Youre a high teir ***** - another john i cannot understand. people john b/c a player used a high teir against them while the johner uses a low tier and lost. it usually goes in the lines of A. if the low tier user loses - i lost b/c i used a low tier and u used a high tier. and B. if the low tier user wins, he brags about winning b/c he defeated u with a low tier. its also common the low tier users wanna use low tiers just 2 be different / hate high teirs but hates losing in brawl -_-?

and others i 4got but im sure u get the point

any other johns such as "my hands were sweaty", "my 1st match of the day" r some i really could care less 4 and maybe they actually wouldve done better if that werent the case.


i just dont get it. either way, i would like your opinions on it, agree or disagree idc xD and/or any johns u just dont understand.

 

[brinboy789]

i dont understand john mccain.

 

[ChronoPenguin]

Mccain french fries you say?
Crispy and tender the commercials tell me.
Hard as a rock my teeth tell me.

Mccain pizza...not bad...not bad.
Hell if Mccain was giving a away some of that Mccain pizza, maybe he would of won.

 

[hippochinfat!!]

My friend said he lost due to the fact that he has premature ejaculation.

 

[ibrium]

I feel strangely like this has been done.

Numerously.

 

[Lemon?]

My friend said he lost due to the fact that he has premature ejaculation.

LOL

"I let him win." or "I thought I was the other character (the opponent's)" are pretty good. Oh and "My controller broke" (that actually happened a couple of days ago, now I need to get a new one).

 

[Tenki]

1. u spammed - which usually follows up in the categories such as, i have no respect 4 u, youre a terrible player, learn 2 do other moves. i can understand spamming is annoying, and i hate it but it IS a technique. the thing is, rather than johning y not just understand your opponents play style and use it against him especially if he/she does the same thing over and over.

:[

In my first tourney, the people who played my Sonic in pools were like super sore losers. I'd try to attack them and get like 30% on them, then they'd start dodging/running away from me to attack other people. I'd hit random people and switch targets then finish them off when they were almost dead. And this one guy was like "omgozmgozm sonic's such a camper", and he kept going on saying things like "you have no skill, go die"

People tried to double team me in other rounds of pools, and I raepd the 1v1's and took first.

losers D:

 

[blackanese]

I feel strangely like this has been done.

Numerously.

the thread isnt based on the lines of "whats the worst johns u heard", "your fav. johns", etc. but rather on the lines of johns u clearly dont understand as i gave 2 example, though it seems this isnt being taken seriously either way

 

[Mith_]

LOL

"I let him win." or "I thought I was the other character (the opponent's)" are pretty good. Oh and "My controller broke" (that actually happened a couple of days ago, now I need to get a new one).

This actually happens to me a lot, especially in doubles. When two attacks clash and the screen zooms out I sometimes get characters mixed up lol.

 

[rehab]

You jump too much, it's unnecessary and messes me up

I'm freaking Wario.

 

[Ice Climbers P and N]

Johns. could be the worst, pathetic or the most funniest excuse u ever heard in your life when winning against your opponent.

Some example of the johns i CLEARLY cannot understand r

1. u spammed - which usually follows up in the categories such as, i have no respect 4 u, youre a terrible player, learn 2 do other moves. i can understand spamming is annoying, and i hate it but it IS a technique. the thing is, rather than johning y not just understand your opponents play style and use it against him especially if he/she does the same thing over and over.


2. Youre a high teir ***** - another john i cannot understand. people john b/c a player used a high teir against them while the johner uses a low tier and lost. it usually goes in the lines of A. if the low tier user loses - i lost b/c i used a low tier and u used a high tier. and B. if the low tier user wins, he brags about winning b/c he defeated u with a low tier. its also common the low tier users wanna use low tiers just 2 be different / hate high teirs but hates losing in brawl -_-?

and others i 4got but im sure u get the point

any other johns such as "my hands were sweaty", "my 1st match of the day" r some i really could care less 4 and maybe they actually wouldve done better if that werent the case.


i just dont get it. either way, i would like your opinions on it, agree or disagree idc xD and/or any johns u just dont understand.

1. It lagged a lot.

2. You only did smash moves.

3. You chaingrabbed me.

4. I wasn't paying attention.

5. I needed to pee.

6. I was trying to eat.

7. You cheat.

8. That stage isn't fair.

IF IT ISN'T FAIR FOR ONE, IT ISN'T FAIR FOR ALL. -slap-

 

[§leepy God]

Stage john, don't forget stage john. I get those a lot.

 

[Mith_]

1. It lagged a lot.
What lagged a lot? If you were fighting online no need for johns since it doesn't really prove anything.

2. You only did smash moves.
0.o
Punish them for it?

3. You chaingrabbed me.
Don't get grahbdddd

4. I wasn't paying attention.
Pay attention then.
Its a freakin fighting game.

5. I needed to pee.
That's what the start button is for.
If its a tourney you should go before it starts.

6. I was trying to eat.
That's why you lost, fattie.
Fat people don't win smash.

7. You cheat.
You don't.
That's why I win

8. That stage isn't fair.

IF IT ISN'T FAIR FOR ONE, IT ISN'T FAIR FOR ALL. -slap-

Italics uhyahhh

 

[Browny]

my brother did the best john ever yesterday...

me as Falco vs his snake on FD. got him to about 140% when he dicides to use cypher quite a distance away from the stage such that if he airdodged on the way down he would have missed the ledge. i just camp the ledge and bair him as soon as he passes and gets a KO. he quits, saying how FD's lip forced him to recover from far away. if it was any other stage, apprently he would have been able to use cypher closer to the edge

 

[snowaxe]

I know some people who have complained of not getting their personal costume of choice for the character. I once did a online tournament and one kid demanded a rematch againist me because he wasnt dark link.

 

[The Real Gamer]

"You only won cause ur black..."

Yes I actually have gotten that irl at my friend's house. >_>

 

[mc4]

the spamming one is pretty funny, but it can be valid, you can't necessarily use a person's spamming against them all the time, especially if it is a low or no lag move with high priority...

 

[SharinganKnight]

1. I wasn't ready yet
2. I'm tired
3. You aren't that good so I didn't try that hard
4. I wasn't my color
5. Ike is broken (this is my favorite excuse)

 

[blackanese]

the spamming one is pretty funny, but it can be valid, you can't necessarily use a person's spamming against them all the time, especially if it is a low or no lag move with high priority...

a meta spammer is a good great example of what u mean. (using only shuttle loop, nado and d-smash)

as i said, b/c u know the opponents play style now (even though in a case like this, meta is rather hard and annoying 2 fight when a spammer chooses him) use it against him. if anything, be patient and wait 4 the opponent 2 make a mistake and so on.

 

[Jun.]

if someone won by "spamming," a derogatory term in all ways (no one's gonna be proud of spamming), then the game they are playing is trash.

lol

OP is a spammer

 

[KillaFrmNY]

if someone won by "spamming," a derogatory term in all ways (no one's gonna be proud of spamming), then the game they are playing is trash.

lol

OP is a spammer

Brawl.

10Brawls

 

[Geist]

I've never understood why anyone would "let me win".
multiple times.
and say the same john every time.
in a money match.

 

[RizardoLawless]

I was washing my hands

 

[ADHD]

My friend said he lost due to the fact that he has premature ejaculation.

wish him luck he keeps a steady gf

 

[corhor]

My friend always says his controller stopped working. lol.

 

[Amazing Ampharos]

My favorite johns are the ones of the form "I lost because Brawl sucks". The spamming john is fun too of course (reworded, it is of the form "I lost because, while your play sucks, I suck more"), and then there's the tier john which varies from stating the obvious (yes, you lost to me because you were using Captain Falcon against Mr. Game & Watch; nice observation) to the laughable claim (I seem to recall someone tier johning me when I was playing as Ganondorf...).

 

[TP]

"You unplugged my controller!"

Sheesh, quit whining.

 

[ZeroFox]

I don't understand them in general.

But I actually DO let people win sometimes to be quite honest. There's a kid who lives in my dorm and I can consistently beat him 5-1 with any of my mains. But after a while I could tell he was getting frustrated, so I set the stock to 2 and made the game closer (2-1 wins for me, or even 2-1 wins for him). But the next day, it was back to 5-1 wins for me. I couldn't let him get too confident you know? =P

 

[SmashBrother2008]

1. I let you win becuase you're a girl.
2. I'm not in "the game"
3. You only attack me and nobody else (whining)
4. My hands are sweaty
5. I thought that I was your character sometimes! Stupid costume!

 

[GI Josh]

My favorite one: "You use those fancy moves!"

 

[KageIsGoingDown]

Best John ever: You're a CG'in SOB!

 

[aeghrur]

"Sonic is cheeeeeeeaaaaaap"

 

[Black_Heretic]

at a local tourney in this computer store, we had the semi finals in the back room on the bigger TV. There are no windows or lights on, its dark as hell, the only light in there was from the game screen. I proceeded to 2 stock a noob Olimar in 3 rounds straight. Then he comes up with the best possible john ever considering the situation...

The sun was in my eyes so I couldn't see

lol

 

[AquaTech]

1st reply/thread.

 

[blackanese]

lmfao i gotta say some of these johns r halarious. especially the "sun was in my eye" 1

never knew so many non understandable johns existed while at the same time being funny xDDD

 

[SothE700k]

Here's one I used to hear every single time I took a guy's stock (and I did not exaggerate this):

(??? translates to stuttering)

"F***! My f***ing B button wouldn't f***ing work! ?????????????????? you see, ????????????????????????????????? FU*K!!! ?????????????? Look, I was trying to hit my B button but then ??????????????????????????? GODDAMN IT!!!"

 

[Lord Viper]

I got one. "You use grab, and sheild!?! YOUR A CHEATER!!!" This actually happened. -_-;

 

[SmashBrother2008]

at a local tourney in this computer store, we had the semi finals in the back room on the bigger TV. There are no windows or lights on, its dark as hell, the only light in there was from the game screen. I proceeded to 2 stock a noob Olimar in 3 rounds straight. Then he comes up with the best possible john ever considering the situation...

The sun was in my eyes so I couldn't see

lol

^^^ Unless that Noob was joking this has to be fake. Either that or, this guy just three stocked a blind dude....

 

[Face124]

johns are stupid in competetive matches. If they say "I only lost because I was using a low tier", you should say "well, maybe you should have used a high tier".

And please Blackanese, (this isn't meant to offend) could you use proper english. I hate reading b/c and u and y. Its annoying

 

[JCav]

i heard a john one time

"why arent you beating me"