Life
Smash Hero
This is getting sigged. Maybe. Probably just the last sentence out of context.Tell him that under his philosophy, the only random thing that's happening is what your opponent is doing. Then tell him that he should ban the opponent from the game since he's random.
Let met put it this way: The more factors there are to consider (stages in the list, features on the current stage), the more potential strategies there are, therefore higher learning curve, therefore more competitive depth. All that a hazard like Klaptrap does is alter the risk-reward balance of your moves--now when you approach Falco, depending only on WHEN you do it (which is mostly under your control), you may be KO'd instead of taking a couple dozen percent from the CG. Nothing uncompetitive about that. For slightly-random/slow features (Smashville platform, PS1/2 transformations most of Norfair) the same thing applies. For more-random/faster features (Norfair spouts, GG blocks, arguably Picto) you can still plan (example: "what am I gonna do if a lava wall is going to appear?" the answer being "if the opponent's at kill percents, hit them away from the wall so it won't block the KO, and if they're not hit them towards the wall so you can combo off it; alternatively, powershield camp inside the wall to kill time if I might win by timeout, or if I'm being edgeguarded use it to hit me towards the stage and refresh my up-B, or abuse it to bring down a camping Wario or Sonic or a planking MK/GnW/Pit/DK" or maybe some other strategy--see why it's a good thing?), but you also have to adapt those plans to the current situation (who's in the lead and by how much, where you and your opponent are, which characters you're using) and execute them within a relatively brief window--whether this makes it more or less competitive is a matter of philosophy. It doesn't get uncompetitive until arguably-Picto and Warioware where those "features" reasonably decide games, ie. the better player loses unusually often.
Also, Temple. And debate him if one-stock + food on medium is worth using to solve stalling.