So, I got rejected for the second time, and it never felt so good.

[Proverbs]

Link to original post: [drupal=2654]So, I got rejected for the second time, and it never felt so good.[/drupal]



Yeah, that girl I've liked for the past who knows how long, she rejected me a second time. But the strangest thing is that I'm really okay with it. We had a great talk, discussing our friendship and its direction. As of now she sees me in a much different light than she had in the past, but still doesn't feel like it's going anywhere.

But since things are on an even playing field now and we know what the other one is thinking, she's willing to spend more time with me and let us get to know each other a good deal more. I'm glad. I haven't really let myself out in the longest time. Last night I was able to reflect and realize I hadn't been myself in about two years. I want to change that. I want to break free for once.

I'm convinced that once she really knows me, she will like me. I couldn't be more joyful. She doesn't like who I'm not, that means that who I am still has a chance. I finally have a reason to drop the facade and be who God made me to be. I've never felt so liberated. It's beautiful.

 

[2001]

No .

 

[Team Giza]

I finally have a reason to drop the facade and be who God made me to be.

Be as the Falcon intended as he punched you into existence.

Anyway, I am glad you are taking this as you are. Its always good to see the positive sides to this sort of thing.

 

[2001]

Ok, but in reality that's just the girl trying to be nice to you because she isn't a jerk. She wants you to feel this way but she also wants no part in serious relationship, and if she does get into a relationship, you will pretty much be out of her life until she breaks up.

So what you really, really need to do, is open up options. BIG time.

Go for new girls, talk to new guys that could be potential wingmen which could lead to new girls, but stick with the whole "I'm gonna be myself" thing.

I'm not saying you should be angry/sad or anything, (because you never should after rejection) but I just know that your chances of hooking up with that girl are really slim.

 

[Moblin]

awesome dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Proverbs]

Ok, but in reality that's just the girl trying to be nice to you because she isn't a jerk. She wants you to feel this way but she also wants no part in serious relationship, and if she does get into a relationship, you will pretty much be out of her life until she breaks up.

So what you really, really need to do, is open up options. BIG time.

Go for new girls, talk to new guys that could be potential wingmen which could lead to new girls, but stick with the whole "I'm gonna be myself" thing.

I'm not saying you should be angry/sad or anything, (because you never should after rejection) but I just know that your chances of hooking up with that girl are really slim.

Man, I'm not looking to 'hook up' with her. And that's not her 'being nice' it was her being honest. Things in the church happen a whole lot differently than they do elsewhere in the world.

Anyway, right now I wouldn't say I like her. I just want to get to know her and move from there. But I won't be interested in other girls for a good while, if ever. I'm still not giving up on her. I'll win her over someday. She's worth the wait.

 

[2001]

But I won't be interested in other girls for a good while, if ever.

I'm telling you man you got to quit this now!

Whatever.......

 

[Grunt]

but still doesn't feel like it's going anywhere.

That's because she doesn't want it to go anywhere.
Listen to 2001.
it's clear she's given up on you for anything serious, so why squander?

 

[El Nino]

It's good that you're taking this positively, but as 2001 says, she seems to have no romantic interest in you. And she's already told you no twice. If it were me, I would have backed off after the first time. But, hopefully you can re-invent this relationship into a platonic friendship in your mind. If not, maybe you need to keep some distance, and go out and socialize with other people (whether as friends or potential girlfriends). Taking it another way, if you hold out for someone who has no interest in you, you may miss out on someone else who is a better fit for you.

/my two cents.

 

[Man of Popsicle]

You don't ask girls out, unless by out, you mean hang out.
Whenever I hear someone say "Want to go out?" or "Want to be my girlfriend?" or anything like that, I want to hurt the person.

 

[FB Dj_Iskascribble]

dont listen to them, everyone is completely different. go with what you feel
this has happened to me before and now that girl is marrying me in a few months

 

[kirbywizard]

In Soviet Russia, you no find love, love find you



But in all serious don't you think she may just want to be nice to you after she rejected you the first time. From your last post and all it seems you have a wonderful friendship with her. Are you not contempt with that?

I mean you might be keeping your hopes to high on this. . . . . .


Whats life if you focus on love

 

[DMG]

What is life if you do NOT focus on Love? What can spawn forth in Life that is positive without Love being involved somewhere?

Hopefully dude you aren't being played by this girl looking for a "safety net" or a "reassuring buddy" when sh** hits the fan for her. I'm not gonna hold a girls hand and comfort her while she goes on making out with some other guy or picking completely incompatible partners and crying when things don't work out. I HOPE that isn't the case for you, but if that happens to be so then you might wanna start thinking about turning away from this one.

 

[Turbo Ether]

I'm convinced that once she really knows me, she will like me.

Not happening.

 

[Team Giza]

Not happening.

Wow. The confidence kills here are amazing.

 

[Teran]

Not happening.

Well you can't be sure of that. After all, it's not like you know much about the situation to assess it fairly.

 

[SuperBowser]

It sounds like you should move on.

 

[Proverbs]

What is life if you do NOT focus on Love? What can spawn forth in Life that is positive without Love being involved somewhere?

Hopefully dude you aren't being played by this girl looking for a "safety net" or a "reassuring buddy" when sh** hits the fan for her. I'm not gonna hold a girls hand and comfort her while she goes on making out with some other guy or picking completely incompatible partners and crying when things don't work out. I HOPE that isn't the case for you, but if that happens to be so then you might wanna start thinking about turning away from this one.

No, she isn't like that. Heck, that girl doesn't want to kiss anyone before she's married--seriously. And I wholly support her decision in that. She says she's not interested in a relationship at all for this next school year. Hopefully that changes, but we'll see. At the moment, I'm just taking it all in stride and hoping to get to know her a good deal more and let her know me more. It's not impossible. In fact, a lot of people see us as a couple, and she admits that we have great chemistry.

As for everyone trying to discourage me, I say two things:

1. Teran's right, you don't know a lot of the situation, and the people that do know the situation encourage me to keep going for it.
2. If you knew that there was a girl you'd rather be with than absolutely anyone, would you give up after a little resistance? I hope not. You guys might 'settle' for something 'more realistic'. Feel free to do that, I'm going to go out and follow my dreams. Even if it never works out, I will have not considered this a waste of my time.

 

[~ Gheb ~]

What is life if you do NOT focus on Love? What can spawn forth in Life that is positive without Love being involved somewhere?

Running the clock in smash?

 

[DMG]

Gheb, did you forget how much Love I PUT into that camping? I can't camp that well without putting some soul into it.

 

[RyuReiatsu]

From personal experiences, OP. I'd suggest you back off and look at the situation from a more global angle. She's most likely doing it not to feel bad for rejecting you and as DMG said: you might be her "safety net".

You don't want to get sucked into that spiral of love stupidities. You really don't...

Just my 2 cents.

 

[2001]

We're not trying to discourage you we're trying to tell you to move on.

So do it.

 

[RyuReiatsu]

We're not trying to discourage you we're trying to tell you to move on.

So do it.

You're a man. But he hasn't achieved that yet. Don't push him in that manner, because what he'll most likely do is to not listen to you. You do know that concept, don't you?

Tell a teenager not to do something and he'll do it.

You've got to explain it in a, hum... less blunt manner. If you know what I mean.
I still agree with you nonetheless.

 

[REL38]

We're not trying to discourage you we're trying to tell you to move on.

So do it.

aka

Give up on a hope/dream/goal.


Wha-?

 

[BadAxel97]

In a situation like this, I always just do the sensible thing:

ask some prostitutes.
prostitutes have all the answers.

 

[Turbo Ether]

Being rejected by the same girl twice is not minor resistance.

Oneitis:

"Often confused with love, this is the feeling that a particular woman is actually special. This is just an illusion; she is the same as the other three or so billion. "Go **** ten other women" is the most commonly prescribed treatment for this "disease" (hence the "itis"), as it tends to show quite quickly how very alike people are.

In other words, get over yourself and your obsession with that girl, because it's just an illusion. And when you get rejected, don't be depressed. Because there's really not much to worry about."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oneitis

It's in your best interest to get over this girl, so that when things inevitably don't work out, you won't be left crushed and heartbroken. I'm not trying to troll you, i'm just being realistic. Unrequited "love" is a sucky feeling and a waste of time. I'm aware that you will automatically dismiss this post/advice, and it's ok, just don't say nobody warned you.

I suggest you take a look at this reading material. It definitely a horizon broadener: http://www.seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/Before_PU/inner/292.html

Here's an excerpt of the first paragraph that should catch your attention.:

I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.

 

[DtJ Jungle]

Did you just use urban dictionary as a source?

Proverbs, AIM when you can. I dont have **** to do.

 

[2001]

Let me put it like this then.

Proverbs, IDK how old you are. You're personal page says you're 20 and if that's true then you're really ****ed. But if you're still a teenager, you have plenty of time.

Plenty of time, to sit down and realize that this girl just isn't feeling you. Don't think about what she has said, but what she hasn't said. It doesn't matter if she's a church girl, she can still lie to you if she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. All girls do this when they reject somebody, even when a nerd asks out a cheerleader, because all girls try to be nice. Even the *****y ones. It's the way they are. And the more expierence you get, the more you will learn. And you need to rack up those expierence points before you get out of highschool.

I know. I'm a pro at this stuff.

 

[Turbo Ether]

Did you just use urban dictionary as a source?

Yeah, instead of googling "oneitis" and posting a random definition. Sue me.

 

[2001]

pfffffffft.

Urban dictionary is for parents who don't understand what their kids are saying.

 

[RyuReiatsu]

pfffffffft.

Urban dictionary is for parents who don't understand what their kids are saying.

Hahaha.

Still, Turbo's made a good point with that 2nd quote up there.
I've become quite sexist, to be honest... Ever since I've learned what a true girl was.

 

[Proverbs]

I'm really amused at how everyone's treating me like a child or some ignorant teenager. I'm 20 years old and have been consistently interested in this girl for approximately a year. If I didn't have seriously good reason to think that she's worth this long of a wait, I would have given up a LONG time ago. But as it is, she is worth it.

Regardless, I'm not suffering from some strange illness in which I think this girl -happens- to be special. She actually is. You can say that's what everyone says, but the difference is I'm right. Anyone who's met this girl knows that and agrees.

On top of that, everyone who does know both of us and the whole of the situation doesn't see me as being unrealistic or self-deceived. Most of the people who are good friends with the both of us have always thought of us as a couple. This isn't unrealistic at all. There have been guys in the church who have asked the same girl out three or four times before the girl finally said yes and they're married now. I've only been rejected twice, so I don't think this is at all unrealistic.

 

[REL38]

@Proverbs

I just find it rather silly that some people are considering themselves "girl experts" for self-impossed reasons.

Particular views upon girsl differs from person to person.

Person A: "I've been through 12 relationships and they're just a waste of time n' money!"

Person B: "Mah hearts been broken by the love of mah life! Girls are worthless!"

Person C: "Girls are a simple commodity for ME!"

Person ASDF: *insert your view on girls*


There's no concrete depiction of all girls, only certain views held on particular female "groupings".

But there are obviously some universal "facts" that hold true to most any girl.
Ex. She'll let you down easy if your her friend.


All in all, I see this as up to you Proverbs.
If you truely believe she's worth the wait, then more power to ya man.
Patience often times has its own rewards.

If things don't work, then I'm sure you gave it a good go.
Like you said, it wouldn't have been a waste of time.

Heck, taking the chance is what already improves the possibility of your dream coming true.
That alone shows determination and is admirable.

 

[Proverbs]

Thanks. I'm glad someone sees it as my choice XD And yeah, no one here is a girl expert. This is a video game website. I was in tons of relationships before I became a Christian, and when that happened I didn't want to do that anymore. I just wanted to find one person. Now I'm not saying I'm going to marry this girl or even whoever I date next--but my goal is to marry the next person I date, and she's a person I could see myself dating--take that for what you will. But I've put a heck of a lot of thought into this. I'm not just like "Oh, she's cute and nice and stuff." No, her moral fiber really stands out among women. Many women do noble things, but she surpasses them all.

 

[LordoftheMorning]

We're not trying to discourage you we're trying to tell you to move on.

So do it.

You're a man. But he hasn't achieved that yet. Don't push him in that manner, because what he'll most likely do is to not listen to you. You do know that concept, don't you?

Tell a teenager not to do something and he'll do it.

You've got to explain it in a, hum... less blunt manner. If you know what I mean.
I still agree with you nonetheless.

You guys make me want to cry. No lie.

Proverbs posted this blog sharing an epiphany of sorts. He was happy, despite the fact that his real goal was not achieved. And you scrubs come in here to tear it down? You're making me sick.

I personally believe that in order to know true happiness, you also have to know true disappointment/sadness, because it is the counterpoint to happiness. You define happiness from a sense of the lack of disappointment (and visa versa), which is why happiness can be so beautiful. Under that lens, one can appreciate a setback for what it has to offer, and Proverbs understands that.

Coming from a guy like Proverbs, I really believe it when he says this girl is special. Some girls seriously don't use mindgames (no pun intended). I've met a few, and they're incredible people. You can trust that a person like that is sincere when they indicate something. If this is one of those types of people Proverbs is dealing with, he is no fool. He is wise beyond his years.

This is not a "lolgirlsuxtheysomeanQQimgoingemonow" blog like we get from time to time. This is something else entirely.

I wish you luck, Proverbs. I'll pray for you too, if I can remember to.

 

[Team Giza]

I agree with LotM on this one entirely.

Proverbs, I may not agree with your lifestyle choices and everything but I am glad you are able to have this happiness and inspiration from this event. I hope things work out well for you.

 

[Albert.]

No, she isn't like that. Heck, that girl doesn't want to kiss anyone before she's married--seriously.

THATS A RED FLAG PROBLEM, Prov's, I was with you until there.

(I was thinking that No doesn't really mean No alot of the time LOL and that persistence DOES pay off, I promise.)

Gheb, did you forget how much Love I PUT into that camping? I can't camp that well without putting some soul into it.

lmfao at this^


EDIT:

Some girls seriously don't use mindgames

... all girls do. Sorry. Even the best of them. It may not be intentional, it may not even be ill-willed, but ALL girls do. You've been mind-gamed into thinking there's no mindgames. ESPECIALLY in a relationship LOLLLL thinking otherwise is naive. (no offense, really. I loved the rest of your post)

 

[LordoftheMorning]

... all girls do. Sorry. Even the best of them. It may not be intentional, it may not even be ill-willed, but ALL girls do. You've been mind-gamed into thinking there's no mindgames. ESPECIALLY in a relationship LOLLLL thinking otherwise is naive. (no offense, really. I loved the rest of your post)

Such a claim is literally impossible to prove.

 

[Proverbs]

I'm all right with not kissing prior to marriage. I'm not really focused on the physical. I'm already not having sex before marriage, so what's one less thing? I'm not trying to see how far I can go with some girl, especially not her.

Anyway, I'm clearing my head of all this, letting myself settle emotionally with myself, re-think through a lot, and then just see where our friendship goes. I'm not giving up, but I'm not pursuing at the moment. She needs some space and needs to feel a bit more comfortable at this point.

 

[Technodeath]

you go girl