Well, there he is, Conker The Squirrel.
Chance: 1%
Conker the Squirrel is the protagonist of his eponymous series, starring first as a racer cameo in Diddy Kong Racing, where he was a more cheerful and kid-friendly character, because of a shift between development. Conker was once meant to be a kid friendly platformer ala Mario 64, but once Banjo Kazooie got released, the development team of Conker (which was different from the one that made Banjo) decided to give it an overhaul in the form Bad Fur Day, an M-rated game filled with swearing, violence (from splapstick to graphic) and sexual innuendo. One could argue that this would make him a no-no for Nintendo, but we got Bayonetta, a sadistic overly-sexualized witch who tortures angels. really the only one difference between the two is that one is a little raunchier than the other, and Conker doesn't have to worry about being censored like Bayo was, nor other "tamer" characters like Pyra and Mythra. There's also Castlevania, whose games while usually not overly graphic, are also M-Rated sometimes (plus the Netflix series, which is FILLED with graphic gore and.......................that...........Alucard scene)
To pretend that this would would be a killing blow for Conker is wrong in my eyes, Conker is also caracterized by his cartoony appereance and hammerspace antics ala Looney Tunes (evidence of this is the Context Sensitive Pad, which gives him the ability of doing whatever the game feels its appropiate, like pulling off a Flamethrower, turning into an Anvil,
and many, many, MANY other things) So i don't think the banning of (realistic) Guns is an issue, since he has MULTIPLE weapons (Bazookas, Granades since Snake uses them too, plus the more out-there Frying Pan, Baseball Bat, a Flamethrower and even a Chainsaw) and neither is the lack of swearing or alcohol (Conker actually is one of the characters who swears the least)
So what is in Conker's way?
-Being basically a nobody in Japan, the REAL death sentence in my eyes, hell the original N64 version didn't release in Japan until Rare Replay!
-He is an obscure character in the grander scheme of things, which means he is not that popular in Smash circles or general gaming sphere.
-His franchise has been dead since the mid-2000's, and the only other thing aside from ports has been.................Young Conker, we don't talk about that.
-Both a KI rep and Master Chief seem more probable (i will abstain on Riptor, but i do see a greater argument for him and his franchise) due to their larger status in the game industry.
Yeah, not gonna happen.
Want: 70%
Conker gives me such a complicated feeling. When i was younger, the idea of playing this M-Rated Cartoon game was just fascinating to me, i remember playing hours and hours of the multiplayer, and despite me never beating the game (i got far until the Caveman section) i must admit it was interesting and quite fun for a story, although being honest.....
....i think Conker would have been better off releasing as Twelve Tales. As a product, Conker Bad Fur Day is a much more interesting thing to analyze and experience, but as a game to play and enjoy in a general sense, i think Conker 64 was just the better option, it looked more fun, more entertaining, and it would have probably been a major mainstream success and would have meant the series would have been going and would have been a serious contender in Smash like Banjo was (at least for the Ballot days), rather than being this cult classic that is a fasciating experience, but not that great of a game (at least single player) and once you remove the raunchy humor of the game you get a game that is nowhere as fun to play as Banjo Kazooie, and one could argue that a watered down Conker would be like Mortal Kombat without Fatalities and Gore or Senran Kagura without all the Boobs And Arse and in-your-face Sex Appeal Fanservice, so what Could Conker bring to Smash? Well there's one thing:
It would probably be the closest thing we could have to a Looney Tunes character in the roster. With that angle, it goes from a "eh?" choice to a "HOLY **** WHY DIDN'T I THINK ABOUT THIS"? choice to me. Sure, Conker's Bad Furd Days was more "South Park with Looney Tunes Lookalikes", but this idea is still solid to me. A Funny cartoon animal that breaks the fourth wall filled with Hammerspace nonesense? After the game being filled with "Serious" and "Cool" characters like Sephiroth, Terry, Hero and Joker, having this wacky cartoon character pulling off basball bats and frying pans like it was something out of Tom and Jerry is just great, and would be a breath of fresh air, even if we lack a certain ingredient of raunchyness that made BFD the cult-classic that it is, i think it would be a good direction to take Conker in Smash for Sakurai, i mean it's better than to Turn Ganondorf from a sword-weilding Warlock to a knockoff of a character with made-up moves.
A Squirrel who is a Toonforce User? Definetly far more interesting thatn most roster choices left in my eyes.
Even with all the mixed feelings Conker gives me, i can't deny he is proof of Rareware's charm and style that no other developer can recreate. And yes, i would have him over Master Chief, but if i listed every single character that i would rather have over MC i would be here until Covid becomes irrelevant.
Oh and his Smash Remix moveset is lit.