oh, i've got this one, that's exactly my problem. playing "gay" kind of disgusts me and as hard as i try i can't force myself to do it fully for more than like 2 matches, no matter how much i want to win. i'm starting to consider playing falco more seriously than i have before because i keep losing due to (on top of the other person's skill) insufficient gayness. but yeah, it's really good.
a lot of it boils down to that legendary piece of wisdom: "Don't get hit."
more specifically, don't make the first move very often. move only as close to him as you need to. i'm not saying go to one side and camp...in fact, that's often a bad idea, because that makes it harder for you to punish their mistakes.
but don't try to pressure frivolously. don't do anything unnecessary. don't make assumptions about what he's going to do, don't try to read him, just stay out of his range until he overextends himself then punish him for it with death.
vs. falcon specifically, be very conscious of his dash speed and dash dance range. "overextending" yourself is easy vs. a character who can leap halfway across the stage at a moment's notice. and his dash dance goes all over the place. you should be wary of committing to any moves to try to intercept it. what you really want is not to interrupt his dash dance, not to break through it heroically somehow, but just to wait for him to stop doing it. eventually he'll get bored and try to hit you with something. that's when you wavedash back, upthrow, and rest him when he techs in place on a platform. or something silly like that.
also, crouch, a lot. you mostly want to replace shield with crouch against falcon. he can't grab you, he has a hard time hitting you, you automatically CC stuff, you can even react to a lot of the things falcon does that actually do work against crouch...
that's my interpretation of what playing "gay" means...the least complicated strategies, the least commitment, the most reward. it's never "gay" when you make some great read or bust right through someone else's pressure. you want systematic, unfair, simple strategies.
other things people are likely to call "gay:" sheik dsmashing a lot. sheik techchasing you with grab over and over. hungrybox using bair a lot. marth edgeguarding you by waiting at the edge and fsmashing, covering most or all of a character's options. fox shine spiking anyone except jigglypuff. fox covering himself with shine after mis-spacing or missing an l-cancel.
jigglypuff using upthrow rest repeatedly. jigglypuff resting you on a platform. jigglypuff wavedashing back to backthrow to (a lot of the time) easy edgeguard. jigglypuff wavedashing back unpunishably in general. jigglypuff spacing at that perfect range so that you can't safely approach her OR safely laser camp her.
(some of these aren't necessarily easy to do, but you get the picture.)
if you post videos it's even easier. i played s2j in a bunch of friendlies at apex. i don't think i won any
but a bunch of them were last stock. and he told me i didn't play gay either, except he meant it as a compliment lol. those were some of the most fun matches i had at apex.
edit: that said, i don't advocate playing completely "gay," but only a little bit. for me it helps to forget about "gay" vs. "legit" or whatever, and just focus on playing smarter. since jigglypuff is a slow character playing against fast characters, smart = "gay" fairly often, but if i'm concerned only with not playing stupidly then it's easier to reach a good compromise.
unfortunately, i end up doing stupid things really often anyway because i stop having fun if i don't, but then it's also not fun to lose repeatedly, which again is why i'm leaning more and more towards falco/other characters. these days i feel like i really understand how mango felt when he switched off puff.