Intruder Alert

[TigerWoods]

INTRUDER ALERT

​

An intruder is trying to break into your place of residence... and he/she is pretty close to getting inside.

The phone lines are cut... your cellphone is nowhere to be found... you're alone... and escape is not an option...

Utilizing only what you have in your place of residence(NO CHEATING), how will YOU defend yourself?

Anything goes.




For me... I'd throw my glass lamp and guitars(NOOO) at him first. Then, I'd reach for my bo staff and see what I can do. I don't have much... so that's pretty much it for my plan...

Hopefully you have more interesting ideas...

 

[Mic_128]

Not using one of your golf clubs?

 

[Patinator]

@ Mic_128: You forgot the rimshot.

...On topic.

If some complete and utter moron walked into my house and even tries to think he's going to mess with me or my parents, he's gonna get his head blown to bits and pieces by either my father's Ruger Mark II .22 LR pistol which is about eight feet from my father's usual location, or, even more satisfying, our scoped .30-06 Browning BAR upstairs. :uzi:

If that's not possible, well, lamps would probably be fun. Impalement? Clubbing?

I mean seriously. Any ****er that comes into my house trying to hurt me or my family is gonna wind up six feet under or, even better, in pieces, burned, and covered with dog ****. That's about all a thief deserves, in my opinion.

 

[#HBC | Dancer]

I know that I'm not very creative, but I'll probably just use a large knife and/or my baseball bat.

 

[Mota]

Agree with Sworddancer. Knives, since you're in close quarters, swinging a bat around doesn't seem all that effective lol.

Grab a knife, hide behind a corner, rawr.

 

[InfiniteBlaze]

Shouldn't you be cheating on your wife?

 

[cutter]

Since I'm still at my dad's place for the holidays, I'd get the keys to his gun rack and pull out the sawed-off 12-gauge.

Then if I had time, I'd grab a nice huge steak knife in the kitchen. Good thing I've taken A&P and nailed the class, as it wouldn't be too hard to figure out where to sever a critical artery.

Shotguns are where its at though for self defense in your home.

 

[OlimarFan]

I know that I'm not very creative, but I'll probably just use a large knife and/or my baseball bat.

(What an odd topic this is...albeit interesting)

I think survival is more important than creativity! A knife would definitely give you an invaluable advantage in terms of close quarters combat, but I would think that a baseball bat would be slightly unwieldy to use. At least for my diminuitive frame, anyway.

 

[Nø Ca$h]

my dog will take care of it lol

if not.. il set up a trap out of tangled gc controller cords and strangle them with my suspenders.

 

[BlargCow]

run

 

[mikeyman]

All of my dogs would hopefully scare him off. Or distract him until I get a knife

 

[~N9NE~]

**** Patinator lol

as for me I'd hit him with the spatula.

 

[Pikaville]

I have 2 very sharp swords in my house that could definitely kill anyone.

I reckon I could use them to at least make him run away.

I also have a metal baseball bat and my favourite weapon of all time,the heavy chain with a massive padlock on one end.

Failing any of that I could use my weights bar as some sort of Rhodesian fighting staff.....very lethal.

 

[Omnicron's Baklava Enterprises]

Let's see...
I have an antique Khanjar, a traditional dagger.
I have a decorative sword, large dagger, a Kris, and a small axe somewhere in my bedroom because I think it looks amazing.

Also, one of my daggers is hidden inside an Eiffel Tower model, so I believe that any robber would be screwed.

If all of those were somehow out of reach, I would detach my somewhat badly attached window and throw it at him/her.

 

[Grandeza]

I would do a barrel roll.

In reality I would get a knife. There's not much else I have besides 4 guitar hero controllers, but there's no room to go smashing things with those XD

 

[SuperBowser]

It's actually really easy to escape from my room. I just open the window, walk along a rooftop and hop down on to the street.

But if I'm not allowed to escape, I, uh... have some scissors? And a big glass paperweight. Hopefully that'll do.

 

[Teran]

There is a machete at bedside.

I'd be good.

 

[dawgbowl]

I keep one of those huge, serious mag flash lights by my bed and I move fairly quietly so, i'd be bashing in that head.

 

[Patinator]

**** Patinator lol

What can I say? I have zero sympathy for thieves, crooks, and other uneccessary *******s. May as well get rid of them instead of just chasing them off.

 

[Lythium]

Frying pan. ****ing duh.

 

[TheSundanceKid]

Tape a knife to my bo staff and stab like hell

 

[TigerWoods]

Not using one of your golf clubs?

My golf clubs are currently at my parent's place. If I had them, I'd use em .

@ Mic_128: You forgot the rimshot.

...On topic.

If some complete and utter moron walked into my house and even tries to think he's going to mess with me or my parents, he's gonna get his head blown to bits and pieces by either my father's Ruger Mark II .22 LR pistol which is about eight feet from my father's usual location, or, even more satisfying, our scoped .30-06 Browning BAR upstairs. :uzi:

If that's not possible, well, lamps would probably be fun. Impalement? Clubbing?

I mean seriously. Any ****er that comes into my house trying to hurt me or my family is gonna wind up six feet under or, even better, in pieces, burned, and covered with dog ****. That's about all a thief deserves, in my opinion.

No guns in my residence :S.

Shouldn't you be cheating on your wife?

(What an odd topic this is...albeit interesting)

I think survival is more important than creativity! A knife would definitely give you an invaluable advantage in terms of close quarters combat, but I would think that a baseball bat would be slightly unwieldy to use. At least for my diminuitive frame, anyway.

Haha. You know it kind of depends on what they're coming at me with. I prefer range over lethality really... so I'd use the baseball bat until they're closer.

run

CHEATER

I have 2 very sharp swords in my house that could definitely kill anyone.

I reckon I could use them to at least make him run away.

I also have a metal baseball bat and my favourite weapon of all time,the heavy chain with a massive padlock on one end.

Failing any of that I could use my weights bar as some sort of Rhodesian fighting staff.....very lethal.

Haha nice. I bought my sister and her husband a throwing knife collection for christmas... I wish I kept it XD.

Let's see...
I have an antique Khanjar, a traditional dagger.
I have a decorative sword, large dagger, a Kris, and a small axe somewhere in my bedroom because I think it looks amazing.

Also, one of my daggers is hidden inside an Eiffel Tower model, so I believe that any robber would be screwed.

If all of those were somehow out of reach, I would detach my somewhat badly attached window and throw it at him/her.

Kris. Are you filipino/malaysian? I have one of those! Coolest weapon ever... though it kind of sacrificed functionality for looks :S.

I would do a barrel roll.

In reality I would get a knife. There's not much else I have besides 4 guitar hero controllers, but there's no room to go smashing things with those XD

Hey, whatever works. XD

It's actually really easy to escape from my room. I just open the window, walk along a rooftop and hop down on to the street.

But if I'm not allowed to escape, I, uh... have some scissors? And a big glass paperweight. Hopefully that'll do.

: /

You're screwed xD

There is a machete at bedside.

I'd be good.

o_o

Frying pan. ****ing duh.

Ms Chef has her own way eh.

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

I have some pretty heavy staffs and **** in my room. Although it might be more satisfying to push a bookcase on the little ****er and then beat his face in with a metal rod.

 

[OlimarFan]

You know, nobody mentioned the famous tactical approach codenamed "Leeroy Jenkins."
An admirable approach, full of bravado and audacity...

 

[DTKPch]

I always have a can of whoop-*** readily available. There's at least one in every room. I'd just open it.

 

[Omnicron's Baklava Enterprises]

Kris. Are you filipino/malaysian? I have one of those! Coolest weapon ever... though it kind of sacrificed functionality for looks :S.

It certainly has sacrificed functionality for looks! The Kris I have isn't that sharp, but the designs on it are incredible.

I got mine from a friend, because he's Balinese and brought one there. Turned out he already had one, so he gave it to me because I tend to collect decorative weapons.

I'm not Filipino/Malaysian, by the way

 

[TigerWoods]

It certainly has sacrificed functionality for looks! The Kris I have isn't that sharp, but the designs on it are incredible.

I got mine from a friend, because he's Balinese and brought one there. Turned out he already had one, so he gave it to me because I tend to collect decorative weapons.

I'm not Filipino/Malaysian, by the way

Haha yeah I'm only the 2nd generation to receive a (modern) education in my family... so we have a lot of tribal stuff and all.

I have a Kris with our insignia on it... I plan to get the designs as a tattoo later..

Though... it is a pointless blade... unless you want to torture someone with it.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Well...Lesseeee...My sister plays field hockey. If you've ever seen the field hockey sticks, you'd know they aren't fun to be hit with...at all.
And obviously steak knives. We have a million of em so that'd come in handy.
And if that didn't work, ALUMINUM BATTTTT.

And if all else fails...Art tools are pretty amusing. Palette knives, mechanical pencils, etc.