The reason why people are questioning about "being the dominant one" is because they don't know how it feels to be dominant. They have been pampered by their mothers by being such nice guys and treating women like "princesses". In logic, it makes perfect sense. But that is what it is. Logic.
Unfortunately, logic doesn't work very well in the dating scene.
Why? Because it's all about EMOTIONS.
Why do you think girls (especially younger ones) give you a lot of attention and hug you one day, and act like a cold fish the next?
Why do you think girls leave the bad boy and dates the nice guy, only to dump the nice guy and go back to the bad boy?
Emotions, my friends.
Us men love calm and peace, where the waters are still.
Women, on the other hand, need drama in their lives. They need love, hate, jealousy, lust, joy, sadness, etc.
They need to feel a full range of emotions.
And what do bad boys do? They give girls that full range of emotions.
What do nice boys do? They give girls only one emotion: Love.
Now this isn't to say that you shouldn't purposefully make your girl sad or hate you, but if you are not a man without boundaries, she will feel very insecure in the relationship and she will either dump you or cheat on you for a REAL man.
You can argue with me about the logistics of the interaction, but I am not interested in that. You can talk about how you are right and how it is supposed to work, but what matters in the end is results.
Dominance and being a man has a lot of negative connotations in this thread, which is no wonder why people rebuke it so much.
Dominance is not overt aggression.
Overt Aggression is when you grab the girl's hand and yank her arm and forcefully take her somewhere. That will cause resistance from the girl.
Dominance is when you put out your hand in front of the girl, and she takes the hand, and she follows you to wherever you want to go. There is zero resistance from the girl.
Leading the interaction is very important. In most cases, girls don't want to be held responsible for things, and we men need to.
"But KDJ, today is the new age... We don't need that macho man image anymore."
Being macho is a social mask. Being a man is an internal way of living your life.
Women, despite the convenience of this day and age, still need a man to look up to for security and protection. Physical as well as emotional.
How can a woman feel safe with a guy who is going to go cry in the corner wincing in pain while she gets mugged by a criminal in a dark alley?
Being a man instead of a wuss brings security and comfort with a woman, which is ESSENTIAL to a healthy relationship.
There is no such thing as "You are either a jerk or a nice guy".
Human psychology is not as simple as that.
Being a man is sticking up for himself, not tolerating BS from others and himself, being honest, not apoligizing for the things he does (but he knows when to apoligize at the right times), having a strong willpower and ambition for life, constantly improving his life, leading the interaction, has a life other than the girl, not kissing up to girls (but not abusing them), and doing what he wants to do in life.
This is all in retrospect in how you want to live your life. If you are 100% satisfied with how you are living your life now, then keep doing the things that you are doing now. If you want to change your life, don't change other people. Change only yourself.
